Monday, April 30, 2012

MMM: Take You Home With Me

Usually when I hear a song I like, I make note of it and when I'm in the mood to download new music, I pull out that list and see if any of the songs still interest me. Thanks to my local radio station these past couple of weeks I've jotted down three of four different songs from Emily Wells. With so many on my list, I didn't even give her album, Mama, a listen, I just clicked the download button because obviously she's on my radar. Now, she'll hopefully be on yours, too. 

Emily Wells - Darlin'

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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

MILF Rendezvous: Fletch

As the slider image suggests, Chevy Chase has been patiently awaiting his debut in the vault. Dylan, however, has been anxiously awaiting the moment his favoritest film would be reviewed. I’m not sure he’s going to be excited to see the Fletch franchise get the Sequel Suicide treatment, but a third installment has been little more than jibber-jabber for the better part of twenty years. FYI, Sequel Suicide is a two-part feature here at the vault wherein we review a positively received motion picture followed by a spotlight on its franchise-ending sequel. This week we’ll determine if Fletch fits this bill.



Irwin ‘Fletch’ Fletcher (Chevy Chase) is an investigative reporter for a Los Angeles rag working undercover as a drugged-out beach bum. He’s looking to blow the lid off a local drug ring when he’s approached by Alan Stanwyk (Tim Matheson), a wealthy man who wants to hire this ‘drifter’ to kill him, sparing him from a losing battle with bone cancer. Fletch, savvy journalist that he is, digs deeper into Stanwyk’s tale at the risk of ruining his drug trade article, and uncovers a story that could cost him his life.
Rendezvous...

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Monday, April 23, 2012

MILF Rendezvous: The Secret of NIMH

After finishing my taxes and posting my tax evader series, I was feeling like such a responsible adult. So much so that I had to revisit my childhood to rinse that grown-uppy taste from my mouth.



When country field mouse Mrs. Brisby (Elizabeth Hartman) visits Mr. Ages (Arthur Malet), he diagnoses her son Timothy (Ian Fried) with pneumonia and prescribes three weeks of bed rest to recover. Unfortunately, the final frost has passed and any day Farmer Fitzgibbons’ plow will be hurtling towards her home. Her urgent need to move forces her to seek counsel with the Great Owl (John Carradine). He advises her to seek Nicodemus (Derek Jacobi) and the rats of NIMH who live beneath the rose bush so that they may devise a solution.

Rendezvous...

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MMM: Yahoo!

I don't know about you, but I had a great weekend. I met up with my friends in Greensboro and we rocked out to Van Halen! We had great seats, close enough to discern all of Diamond Dave's shenanigans, including flipping the double bird to the group of people sitting next to the stage who refused to stand.

Before Eddie, Dave, Alex and Wolfie took the stage, the show was kicked off by Robert "Kool" Bell and his gang. I've seen Kool & the Gang a number of times and though they get older, they continue to keep the party going. So what better way to kick off the week than with a little more Kool?

Kool & the Gang - Celebration

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Saturday, April 21, 2012

Trailer Trash: April 20 of 2012

I'm a little late with this week's Trailer Trash, but at least I'm proud I managed to get it out. Especially considering the new releases being offered. Let's have a look shall we?

Chimpanzee What's that you say? Disney has released another nature-themed movie designed to bilk audiences of their hard-earned cash. Why, it must be Earth Day weekend! If you're feeling that green guilt (not the St. Patrick's Day kind, the other green guilt) why not opt to volunteer at a nature conservancy or feed the birds in your backyard. Save watching pandering cinema during your winter rental cycle.


Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.


The Lucky One Being a North Carolina native, I should be proud that Nicholas Sparks has yet another of his books adapted to the big screen. I would be, but I don't like most of these adaptations, and trust me, I've seen more than my fair share. Obviously, the hunky Zac Efron isn't geared to my specific demographic, so I'll stay home, leaving a seat open for the film's target audience.



Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.



Think Like A Man A great, talented cast (Chris Brown notwithstanding) in a movie by Tim Story. He's a director who does funny way better than fantastic, if you get my drift. Steve Harvey is hilarious and though I haven't read the book this is based on, I absolutely must support any film that's not being shoveled down our throats by Tyler Perry. 



Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

If I can get my ducks in a row, I plan to see the film Raid this weekend. How is it I've never heard of this until last week?!

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Wednesday, April 18, 2012

MILF Rendezvous: Money Train

My fellow Americans, it’s Tax Day! That means it’s time for the final installment of Dr. Hollywood or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Pay My Taxes, a fun and friendly series to remind you to pay your taxes. Hopefully, you have either finished your taxes or filed for an extension because we would hate for you to suffer a fate similar to Wesley Snipes who is still serving time for his tax-evasive shenanigans.


John (Wesley Snipes) and Charlie (Woody Harrelson) are transit cops (and brothers) who land on Chief Patterson’s (Robert Blake) shit list when their decoy sting delays his money train; the armored subway car used to collect fare revenues. John, good brother that he is, tries to keep Charlie out of trouble, but he’s a perpetual fuck-up with the world against him. After nearly botching the sting to catch the subway arsonist they call the Torch (Chris Cooper), failing to woo their new colleague, Grace Santiago (Jennifer Lopez), and being buried up to his eyeballs in gambling debt, Charlie feels he’s got nothing to lose and sets out to rob that prick Patterson of his precious money train.

Rendezvous...

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Monday, April 16, 2012

MMM: With You Gone, I'm Alone...

But not for long because Norah Jones is back with a new album! On May 1st, I will be curled up next to my speakers, enjoying Little Broken Hearts. She hasn't announced any tour dates in North Carolina, but I know Norah won't forget about me. Until the album and her concert arrives, we can all enjoy her newest single.

Norah Jones - Happy Pills

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Friday, April 13, 2012

MILF Rendezvous: Matchstick Men

Welcome to the second selection in this weakly titled three-part series, Dr. Hollywood or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Pay My Taxes. For many an American, this weekend will be consumed by pouring over receipts and banging away at tax software programs to meet next Tuesday’s deadline. If you’re thinking of blowing them off, let Nicolas Cage serve as an example. In 2009, Cage reportedly owed the IRS upwards of $14,000,000 in taxes and penalties.


Roy Waller (Nicolas Cage) is a con man… sorry, con artist who pulls small-time grifts with his protégé Frank Mercer (Sam Rockwell). Roy likes the short con because he suffers from neurosis and various phobias which can impede his game even with his meds. When his illegal prescription runs out, he’s forced to seek out a new doctor (Bruce Altman) to regain control. Roy’s sessions lead him to discovering his long lost daughter, Angela (Alison Lohman). The new pills and new-found daughter are a welcome change in his desperately lonely life, so much so Roy goes against his better judgement to join Frank in a risky long con to hustle a wealthy prick, Chuck Frechette (Bruce McGill).

Rendezvous...

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Trailer Trash: April 13 of 2012

This whole bi-weekly posting of the Trailer Trash is starting to become a bad trend. It's not like movies only release every two weeks, I just get too behind in my other tasks to bang one out. What matters most is that I'm here now to service you with this weekend's latest cinematic offerings.

Cabin in the Woods From the looks of the trailers, it's like a tried-and-true B-movie horror story hooked up with a sci-fi, uber-tech conspiracy film to have this Whedon-Goddard love child. I do worry the concoction may be like Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses and blend about as well as oil and water. With Whedon involved, good or bad, I'll be there this weekend.



Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


Lockout Or, as I like to call it; SPACE PRISON! It just sounds way cooler than Lockout. Space Prison! Come on, say it with me, Space Prison! Cool, right? Well, poor naming aside, I'm always up for a project that Luc Besson has his hands on. I doubt this will be mind-blowing, but Peter Stormare is there to chew up the scenery so it can't be completely terrible.




Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

 

The Three Stooges Much like Space Prison!, this doesn't look like a great movie. The trailers do, however, hit me in that soft spot I have for the Stooges. I spent many a Sunday morning watching The Three Stooges beat the living hell out of one another and crack wise and all the while I ate it up. Casting looks pretty spot on, and I believe the Farrelly Brothers will do their best to honor the original material. It might be fun reminiscing on the days when I was more easily entertained.
 
Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


That's how I see this weekend's offerings. Are any of these floating your boat, or are you anxiously saving your pennies for May's release of The Avengers?

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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

MILF Rendezvous: Money Talks

The vault has been without a series for a few weeks. For me and many other Americans, we’ve got only one week left to file our taxes. With that in mind, I’d like to present my three-part series, Dr. Hollywood or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Pay My Taxes wherein I will select three prime examples of celebrities who chose not to pay their taxes and are now infamous for their mistake. First up is Chris Tucker who’s the most recent celebrity to be in tax trouble to the tune of over $12,000,000.


 Franklin Hatchett (Chris Tucker) is a small-time hustler working out of an LA car wash when Channel 12′s investigative reporter, James Russell (Charlie Sheen), has him arrested after doing a “hard-hitting” expose on him. Franklin escapes prison when the Euro-thug, Raymond Villard (Gérard Ismaël), that he’s cuffed to is busted out by his henchmen. During the escape Franklin gets wind of the location of Villard’s $15,000,000 stash and bails before he’s killed by Dubray (Frank Bruynbroek). With the cops thinking he’s an accomplice for the murder of the transport guards, Franklin can only think of one person to clear his name; the same punk-ass reporter who got him in this predicament.

Rendezvous...

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Monday, April 9, 2012

MMM: I'm Like Fuel On Fire

The drive into work this morning was shitty, but the music was good. Work started off crappy, so maybe more of that same good music will make the day better. Can't hurt to try, right?

Blitzen Trapper - Furr


How's your day been so far?

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Saturday, April 7, 2012

MILF Rendezvous: The Ten

I am always up for celebrating a celebrity birthday in the vault, and there was no way I was going to let one of my favorite of favorite actors, Mr. Paul Rudd, turn 43 without giving him a shout out.Though he’s been in “the biz” going on twenty years, it wasn’t until the mid-2000s when he found his niche as a charismatic go-to comedy star. I have openly admitted to my man crush, and whenever the opportunity arises, I like to dip into his filmography and watch something that I had somehow missed. The Ten is one such movie.


Jeff Reigert (Paul Rudd) stands alone in an expanse of blackness. The only thing adorning the space is a set of massive stone tablets upon which the Ten Commandments are written. As our host, Jeff is here to introduce ten short stories, each inspired by a commandment, assuming he can keep the kerfuffle with his wife Gretchen (Famke Janssen) and his new friend Liz (Jessica Alba) from interrupting the flow.

Rendezvous...

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Wednesday, April 4, 2012

MILF Rendezvous: American Pie

I couldn't think of a more perfect way to kick off my link over to Man, I Love Films than with my vault coverage of American Pie! For those of you who may have missed it, one reason I have been defunct in writing reviews here at Reel Whore is that founders Dylan and Kai have me posting two vault reviews a week over at the MILF and would whip me if I didn't satisfy their demands. Come to think of it, maybe missing an occasional post would be kinda kinky. Um, anyways, the other reason I haven't posted reviews here is that I've gotten slack. That's not to say that I still won't take requests, but until I receive one why not rendezvous with the MILF and enjoy my wares!


It’s the senior year for Jim (Jason Biggs), Oz (Chris Klein), Kevin (Thomas Ian Nichols), and Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas); four friends at East Great Falls High in Michigan. They wake up after the latest Stifler (Seann William Scott) party only to learn that while they failed to lose their virginity, “The Shermanator” (Chris Owen) scored! Fed up, Kevin convinces his buds to form a pact to all get laid before they graduate. Prom, their last true opportunity to be deflowered, is only three weeks away, and the guys have to put their non-existent mojo into high gear to succeed.

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Monday, April 2, 2012

MMM: Hungry for More

Morning stargazers! I saw The Hunger Games yesterday and as my title suggests, I am hungry for more. I may dive into the books before too long; maybe they'll move at a faster pace than some of the movie did. But I'll save my take for an actual review sometime later.

Seeing Cinna got me hungry for some Lenny Kravitz...um, more specifically, his music. Although, he is one good looking man and many a man and woman would love to have traded places with Katniss for the few heartfelt scenes they shared. Apparently, Lenny released a new album in August of 2011, but no singles charted in the US. I'll be digging it up to give it a listen soon. In the meantime, let's go back to this rocking song which has one of the greatest videos from that time.

Lenny Kravitz - Are You Gonna Go My Way

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