Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Week of Reel Whorror!: Who Wants a Clean House?! - Day 7

Happy Halloween Stargazers! As you may have noticed it's Day 7 of the Week of Reel Whorror!, but the last post was only Day 5. Make no attempts to adjust your PC. That post, much like the Freelings' home, and my grandiose plans and good intentions has imploded, never to be seen in our realm. Not one to dwell over spilt milk, or in houses of evil, I am moving on to wrap this domicile-centric endeavor with the premier of a show worth watching, whether it's Halloween or not.

American Horror Story, Season 1




Premiered: 10.05.11
Channel: FX


Full Price



I had my misgivings with the first season of American Horror Story right from the start. It seemed they were trying to cram too many different types of horror into one seemingly innocuous Los Angeles home. I usually give a show three episodes, and by Murder House, the only things that kept me from moving on was Jessica Lange's wonderfully bigoted and hate-filled performance, the promise of yet another delightfully twisted character portrayed by True Blood's Denis O'Hare, and the undeniable allure of seeing Alexandra Breckenridge slinking around in a naughty maid's outfit. Let me tell you just how thankful I am for those three things, especially the latter.

Somehow I made it to the episode Piggy Piggy due to the continued promise of fun guest appearances like Eric Stonestreet, Alessandra Torresani, and Mena Suvari. It was with that sixth episode I realized the show would only last six more episodes, and decided to see where this strange mesh of horror cliches and sadistic characters would lead.

Boy am I glad I decided to maintain residence with the Harmon's a little longer. Each episode got a little darker, the acting of Taissa Farmiga, Evan Peters and Connie Britton had drawn me in. Lange was getting nastier and more mesmerizing with every episode, and I found myself calculating all the possibilities of where it would lead.

AHS hit the final turn with Smoldering Children and turned everything on its head. Even me, with my vast years of television and movie watching was thrown for a loop. I found myself wishing I had waited to watch AHS on DVD; not because it had grown dull, but so I could immediately jump into the next episode. Instead I had to wait and wait for two more whole weeks for the ever darkening conclusion.

In the end, I was mostly satisfied and a little disturbed by it all. I fretted the second season would return for more of the same in the dreary home, particularly when I heard Jessica Lange and Evan Peters, among others, would be returning. I was relieved to hear the setting had changed to an asylum for season 2, though I was concerned it would be more of the same monsters lurking in dark corners. Two episodes in and I am already floored by Lange's Sister Jude, and while the walls are coated with tons more horror cliches, I can't wait to see how they flow together.

If you've not seen Season 1 of American Horror Story, do what I did not give myself the opportunity to do; rent or buy the DVD and plow through the episodes one after another. Unlike going to live in the Murder House, you won't regret it.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Monday, October 29, 2012

Week of Reel Whorror!: Who Wants a Clean House?! - Day 5

Today is normally reserved for my Monday Mood Music, and though it's posting later than usual, it's a selection that also fits in snugly with the Week of Reel Whorror!. Seeing as how this week's all about the evil that houses do or hold, it's impossible not to mention the film Rob Zombie crammed every conceptual ounce of horror into. And, being a rocker prior to debuting as a writer-director, he was all too happy to supply his initial offering with a killer (no pun intended) soundtrack which included his cover of this Commodores classic. 

Brickhouse -
Rob Zombie featuring Lionel Richie and Trina




House of 1000 Corpses


Release: 04.11.03
DVD Release: 08.12.03
Rated R
1 hours, 29 minutes


Matinee


I have to go on record as saying House of 1000 Corpses is perhaps one of the best and one of the worst horror films I have ever seen. Approximately three-fourths of it is edgy and phenomenal in its delivery; the remaining just utter filth and a waste of good celluloid. Then again, the horror genre has a wealth of depraved avenues one can traverse; I just prefer some concepts more than others.

The debut picture from musician turned writer-director Rob Zombie opens on All Hallow's Eve with four college kids traveling along the back roads of Texas (has a familiar ring to it, right?). Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig, Jackie Brown) runs the roadside Gasoline, Fried Chicken, and Horror Museum where the kids stop to stock up for the last leg of their voyage home. The museum tour chronicles notorious mass murderers, including the local legend, Dr. Satan, which sparks the kids’ need to drive out to the fabled killer's remote stomping grounds in the cold, rainy dead of night. One hitchhiker named Baby (Sheri Moon) and one flat tire later, the kids end up at the home of the Firefly family. After partaking in the Firefly Halloween celebration and getting the car repaired, their fun really begins.

The darkest, most twisted character is Otis, creepily portrayed by Bill Moseley (Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2). Otis will single-handedly freak you out. He’s the answer to the question “What if Ted Nugent was insane?...correction...an insane mass murderer?” Sid Haig's Captain Spaulding is a vulgar, dreadful delight and may just hold the record for most profanity per minute from a character. Spaulding couldn't open his mouth without making a sailor blush. I always wished Haig would start appearing in more features after 1000 Corpses, but seems only Mr. Zombie appreciates his talent. Sheri Moon's Baby is a sexy, sultry psychotic woman who flaunts it. Her high-pitched, joyful schoolgirl giggle will send chills up and down your spine. My favorite sedate scene with Baby involves a liquor run to the local ABC store with the ingenious name. (I was so enamored by her character that I penned two pieces of fan fiction for the LAMB).

The unsuspecting travelers are played by Chris Hardwick (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines), Erin Daniels (One Hour Photo), Jennifer Jostyn (Deep Impact) and a then, mostly unknown Rainn Wilson (Juno). As each becomes the playthings of their sadistic hosts, they give great ear-piercing screams. The gore and torture are wonderfully sick and twisted; the influences of many horror classics are plainly evident in 1000 Corpses. It's a very bloody and deliberately brutal film with a smidgen of violence tossed in to help offset the blood. Unfortunately, 1000 Corpses has many horrific horror film fumbles that disengaged my interest at times. Likewise, Zombie's direction is tense, creating a nail-biting ambience, but at other moments he segues into a music video vantage with random cuts and digital effects unnecessary to the story's development.

House of 1000 Corpses has something for every aficionado of the horror genre, and that is where it fails. In trying to make a dish palatable to all connoisseurs, Rob Zombie inevitably created a film with some indigestible tripe. That said, it is still a must see. I recommend 1000 Corpses on the well-developed and unique characterizations alone; what you try to get from the rest of the flick is done so at your own risk.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Week of Reel Whorror!: Who Wants a Clean House?! - Day 4

Actually, you can't always blame the houses for horrific deeds done within their walls. Sometimes evil just meanders its way to the front door and let's itself in.When that happens, it's always best to be prepared; just ask the Collingwoods.


The Last House on the Left



Release: 03.013.09
Rated R
1 hour, 50 minutes


 
Matinee


Meet John (Tony Goldwyn, Abandon), Emma (Monica Potter, Saw) and Mary (Sara Paxton, Soldier); the Collingwood Family. They've left behind their daily drudgery for their annual summer vacation at the lake. Mary bounces into town to visit her friend, Paige (Martha MacIsaac, Superbad). The two teens finds themselves in the midst of a clan of miscreants, led by recently escaped convict Krug (Garret Dillahunt, No Country for Old Men). The Family Krug and the Family Collingwood are on a collision course with destiny. The sign post up ahead reads "Lake Ends in the Road." Your next stop: the last house on the left.

I really dug Last House. Granted, it's a far cry from the insanity of the original, but it's a well structured tale of terror. So I keep asking myself, why am I hung up on this damned house!? Let me explain. John's a doctor and Emma seems to do important work, too. Obviously well-to-do, it seems only natural that they own a summer home. But the family owns a two-story home at the lake, with a boat house, a massive tool shed AND a two-story guest house!?! Both domiciles are loaded with furniture, linens and even the medicine cabinets are fully stocked. The main house even has a cabinet full of wine, enough to carry the family through Indian summer. Is it just me or does this seem a bit excessive? And the kicker; they own a 10,000 watt, faux-wood veneer, approved-for-nuclear-testing microwave you'd find in your gram-gram's kitchen. Really?! You couldn't spring for a portable funcooker like normal people!! But I digress.

Dillahunt is my man. I've enjoyed his roles on Deadwood as well as Sarah Connor Chronicles and his twinge of devilishness works well here. However, he and his compatriots aren't nearly as crazy and drug-addled as the original's gang...except, maybe, Sadie (Riki Lindhome, Million Dollar Baby). Potter and Goldwyn, too, make you feel the anguish and anger over the evening's events. By the way, what's up with Monica Potter's career? It's like she's been on the Sandra Bullock short bus for her entire career. I don't think Paxton will suffer the same fate. She gives a top-notch performance and her Aquamarine training probably helped, too.

Dirty Undies
Last House isn't for the timid or faint of heart. The Family Krug are introduced in an explosion of blood-spatter, but their deviant ways settle into a very cautious and calculated routine that's surprisingly weak in comparison to the meek Collingwoods who wreck shit once their ire's agitated. The film does feature scenes of graphic rape and torture, but its conservative nature keeps it from attaining Firefly-family infamy.

The Money Shot
The Last House on the Left pulls off a decent amount of tension and dread, but it could have been truly nail-biting had they trimmed off a solid fifteen minutes. Still, horror films with a fairly realistic, well-explained story are a rarity these days, so you should catch the good ones whenever possible.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Week of Reel Whorror!: Who Wants a Clean House?! - Day 3

Whether a house is truly haunted by spirits or inhabited by fiendish people, one thing that makes a house truly scary is its history. A house with a history of malevolence, whether true or imagined, makes it far scarier than that cookie-cutter home in the cul de sac. 
 
Since the Week of Reel Whorror! has been resurrected, I felt it fair to resurrect another of the Reel Whore's delightful features.The Jizt is the wham, bam, thank you ma'am of reviews and a perfect fit for the busy pre-Halloween weekend.


Silent House


Release: 03.09.11
1 hour, 26 minutes
Rated R

 

Full Price



Cast: Elizabeth Olsen (Martha Marcy May Marlene), Adam Trese (Zodiac), Eric Sheffer Stevens (Julie and Julia)
 
The Build-up: Sarah returns to her family's lakeside vacation home to help her dad and uncle prep it for sale, but finds herself trapped inside, hunted by a mysterious figure.
 
The Blurt-out: Were it not for Olsen's exceptional acting and magnetic screen presence, my TV screen would have gone as dark as the recesses of this house within the first half hour.
 
The Jizt: Shot as real-time, this tense thriller is the kind of well-made remake that makes me want to go back and see if it improved upon the original film.

Why it's always a good idea to read the manual before operating power tools.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Friday, October 26, 2012

Week of Reel Whorror!: Who Wants a Clean House?! - Day 2

I hope last night you didn't have too many things go bump in the night. No matter, the Week of Reel Whorror! continues nonetheless. Not all houses are built evil. Some have evil bred into them. It's a strange concept to be sure, and some movies do a real shit job in conveying that idea. This is one such story.

The Haunting in Connecticut


Release: 03.27.09
1 hour, 42 minutes
Rated PG-13


Group Rental




In the same way her son Matt (Kyle Gallner, TV: Veronica Mars) can barely stomach his cancer treatments, Sarah Campbell (Virginia Madsen, Number 23) cannot bear to watch him suffer on their long road trips back to suburban Connecticut. Sarah and husband Peter (Martin Donovan, The Quiet) decide to rent a house near the treatment facility to ease everyone's stress. Sarah finds the perfect house for cheap; perfect and cheap if you don't mind living in an old funeral home. No one minds, except for the wayward souls that keep lurking around the Campbell's dying son.

Haunting, based on true events, tries to strike a balance between Matt's battle with cancer and the recurring appearance of ghosts in his basement digs. At times, Matt sees through the eyes of a young spirit, Jonah, who appears to Matt as an extra crispy version of his former self. The KFC spectre mainly just stares at Matt and lurches over him while he sleeps. Startling moments of here-one-second, gone-the-next are the extent of the film's overused scare tactics. I was more frightened by how often mommie dearest inexplicably left her children alone for large spans of time.

The whole damn film is one huge exercise in tedium. Like most lame-ass, teen-friendly horror flicks, jittery flashbacks tease audiences with the house's dark side. Whenever the KFC spectre goes on break, Matt splits his time between entertaining his siblings and cousin Wendy (Amanda Crew, Sex Drive), and by calling fellow cancer patient, Reverend Popescu (Elias Koteas, Zodiac), to talk death and ghosts. Judging by the Reverend's baggy attire, I assume John Goodman backed out of production and the budget didn't allow for a refitting for Koteas. Regardless, Koteas gives it his all.

Haunting cuts a lot of corners. Scenes are notably grainy. At first it seemed to set a mood, but when conversation sequences shift continually between poorly-shot and strikingly clear, it's friggin' annoying. The script works the same. When Matt's visits by the KFC spectre are confirmed, Encylopedia Wendy is on the case and in an afternoon uncovers the entire history of the hell house. The religious faith of Sarah and the Reverend are treated as taboo, almost as if the spirits themselves didn't allow more to be written into the story. I could stomach all these weaknesses if I wasn't being spoon-fed every other frivolous detail of the Campbells' life.

Dirty Undies
Gentle scares are mildly unnerving at best. The children seem to be in peril, but aside from treating Matt like an Etch-A-Sketch, the ghosts do very little besides stand around. Also, the shockingly horrific reveal doesn't make a lick of sense! A sure-fire indication a horror flick sucks is when the explanation creates more questions than it answers.

The Money Shot
The Haunting in Connecticut was so dull, I felt my brain shut off about ten minutes into it. As the climax approached and I snapped to attention, I realized I didn't know anything about Matt, his family, the KFC spectre or the other spirits I'd been watching for over an hour. The worst part? It didn't fucking matter. When it was all said and done, The Haunting in Connecticut amounted to nothing more than boredom in the theater.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Week of Reel Whorror!: Who Wants a Clean House?! - Day 1

As Carol Anne would say, They're here. While I've been a complete blog slacker most of this year, there was no way in hell I'd let Halloween go by without resurrecting my Week of Reel Whorror!. For those savvy horror fans, I have no doubt you've deduced this year's theme is houses!. If it's gloomy and creaks or is home to a family of freaks, for the next seven days we'll be taking up residence. If it's got a roof, four walls, and a door that's keeping otherworldly denizens at bay, we'll be part of the group of idiots dumb enough to snoop around.

ENTER... IF YOU DARE!!! 

House

Release: 02.28.86
Rated R
1 hour, 33 minutes


Matinee


Roger Cobb’s (William Katt) writing career and marriage falls apart after his son mysteriously vanishes from the house of his Aunt Elizabeth (Susan French). After his aunt’s passing, Roger moves into her house and starts penning his latest project, his Vietnam War autobiography, hoping the book will end his terrible wartime flashbacks of his buddy, Big Ben (Richard Moll). However, the house, always thought to be haunted, has plans of its own for the tortured writer.
Billed as a horror-comedy, House is successful at satisfying both descriptors with jump scares, outlandish monsters, and riotous dialogue delivered with deadpan seriousness. William Katt, portraying Roger at first as a tired, suffering writer turns him quickly down the path of full blown looney tunes once the house intimidates him with self-propelled hand tools, flopping fish mounts, and grotesque harbingers. The nervous wreck that Roger becomes is at his most hilarious when he simultaneously flirts with his sexy neighbor and keeps a bloated zombie from wriggling out from under a tarp. The role is also quite physical for Katt; he’s tossed down stairs, into pools of water, and dragged around for a substantial chunk of the story.
Pairing Katt with George Wendt is pure genius. Wendt, who plays Roger’s neighbor Harold, has the role of oblivious neighbor down to a tee. His delivery of the line, “solitude’s always better with someone else around,” still has me cracking up as does his reaction to Cujo, the raccoon. As Big Ben, Richard Moll gets to chew up the scenery by playing crazy with a capital K and shooting up most of the sets.
Following the plot of House isn’t quite as enjoyable. While it’s clear the house is haunted, the supernatural logistics of the house are somewhat at odds with the overarching premise. Sorry if that’s too vague, but I don’t want to give too much away in case you still haven’t had a chance in the last twenty-six years to watch it. All I can say is, House is just further proof of how good the drugs were in the 80s.
Sometimes shocking, sometimes confusing, and sometimes just plain weird, House is entirely entertaining. If you have been putting off viewing it, queue it up before its thirtieth anniversary for a good laugh.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Signs Point To Yes

The vault has spent most of October’s buildup to Halloween showcasing movies featuring either ghosts or murder and today’s selection features both. I promise I’ll mix it up a bit with the next post, but I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to review a Sam Raimi film when today is his birthday.

Annie Wilson (Cate Blanchett) is a widow with three young boys who makes a living foretelling people’s future; people like the abused housewife Valerie (Hilary Swank) or the kind but troubled mechanic Buddy (Giovanni Ribisi). The spirit of her Granny (Rosemary Harris) warns of an impending storm just as Annie is caught in the cross-hairs of Donnie Barksdale (Keanu Reeves). The hateful Donnie threatens Annie and her kids repeatedly after she tries to convince Valerie to leave him. Meanwhile, Sheriff Pearl (J. K. Simmons) searches for missing socialite Jessica King (Katie Holmes). Desperate, her fiancĂ©e Wayne (Greg Kinnear) and father (Chelcie Ross) beseech Annie to divine Jessica’s whereabouts. Annie’s gift reveals Jessica’s fate and places her in the path of an unsettled spirit, obstinate non-believers, and a murderer.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Monday, October 22, 2012

MMM: Happy Endings

Not sure what all TV you're watching, but overall fall's new show line-up has sucked pretty hard. I've already dropped several of the new shows and it's looking like I'll nix a few more once I've given them a full three episodes to impress/disappoint. I owe a debt of gratitude to my returning shows for being quite exceptional, and thereby making the overall fall 2012 television season decent.

I have only the premier of Happy Endings (this Tuesday!) before I can say I'm completely satisfied with the returning shows. I'm not too worried because I love me some Elisha Cuthbert, even more so now thanks to this show. I first tuned into Happy Endings mainly to ogle Elisha in all her yumminess, but she and her costars had me in stitches within seconds. Since I also tuned in to see how Casey Wilson was faring after being axed from SNL, I was very pleased to discover she has found a non-Wiig world where her talent could really be showcased. Happy Endings is a hilarious show that you should be watching. And, even though I just featured Weezer here a month ago, flaunting Elisha on the site should help sway you to tune in. Enjoy!

Weezer - Perfect Situation

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Right in the Bahoogies!

At the start of October, I kicked off the vault’s Halloween retrospective with a previously untested film which bit me in the ass with its awfulness. Since then, I’ve been hesitant to add another first-time viewing in the mix; partially for fear I’d find an even worse selection and also because there are so many wonderful choices out there. With wounds healed, I decided to once again dip into personally uncharted territories.


In a last-ditch effort to save his Irish heritage, Castle Plunkett, from relocation, well-intentioned Peter Plunkett (Peter O’Toole) vivifies the castle-turned-B&B by converting it to a haunted-castle-turned-haunted-B&B by enlisting the help and creativity of his staff. The spooky spectacle’s first victims include the crabby couple of Jack (Steve Guttenberg) and Sharon Crawford (Beverly D’Angelo) celebrating their anniversary, the priest-in-training Brother Tony (Peter Gallagher), the recently single Miranda (Jennifer Tilly) and with his family in tow Malcolm (Martin Ferrero), a parapsychologist anxious to prove Plunkett’s phantoms fake. When Peter’s charade falls apart all seems lost, but Jack interferes into the afterlife of actual ghosts of Mary (Daryl Hannah) and Martin (Liam Neeson) causing other-worldly, and inter-marital, complications. Meanwhile, the rest of Castle’s incorporeal inhabitants decide to legitimize their descendant’s phantasmic promises.

Rendezvous...

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Death Ain't No Way To Make A Living!

Sick of the Halloween hype yet? I hope not, because the month is only half over and the vault’s got plenty of fun fare waiting for induction! Today’s selection is special because it is the first of Peter Jackson’s film I saw before the Lord of the Rings trilogy made him a household name.


Fairwater is plagued by death. In the past five years nearly thirty residents have died from a mysterious heart disease and decades before this grim medical phenomenon beset the town, orderly Johnny Charles Bartlett (Jake Busey) and his lover Patricia Bradley (Dee Wallace) became famous for murdering twelve people in just under half-an-hour at the psychiatric hospital. It’s the perfect burg for Frank Bannister (Michael J. Fox), architect-turned-psychic investigator, to offer his specialized services. Though Bannister can actually communicate with the dead, he uses his friendship with the ghosts Cyrus (Chi McBride), Stuart (Jim Fyfe), and the Judge (John Astin) to instead con trusting people. But when his abilities forewarn of death’s next victim, he teams up with physician Lucy Lynskey (Trini Alvarado) to uncover the Grim Reaper’s fascination with this quaint town.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Monday, October 15, 2012

MMM: One Inch From the Edge of This Bed

I had this really great song in mind for today's selection. I ran across it while driving around last Wednesday. At the time I thought to myself that I should go ahead and prep this post, but then thought better of it since lots can happen between Wednesday and Monday and what if what I wrote wasn't reflective of my Monday mood. Boy, was I right on both counts. My mood has certainly changed and that song has long since been forgotten. That's right. The great song is now lost to the recesses of my addled mind. Instead, let us revisit some pre-SNL Passion Pit with the debut single they released from their first EP way back in 2008. Enjoy.

Passion Pit - Sleepyhead

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Ray... This is Walter.

Today the vault continues its month-long build-up to October’s big holiday with Hanks Goodness for Halloween! Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.


Ray Peterson (Tom Hanks) and his wife Carol (Carrie Fisher) live amongst a circle of quirky neighbors at Mayfield Place; his obnoxious, nosy pal Art (Rick Ducommun), militant veteran Lt. Mark Rumsfield (Bruce Dern) and his wife Bonnie (Wendy Schaal), the snooty geriatric Walter (Gale Gordon) and his dog Queenie, the street’s young punk Ricky Butler (Corey Feldman), and the mysterious new neighbors, the Klopeks. Ray intends to take advantage of the cul-de-sac’s quiet by enjoying his week-long vacation at home. That is, until Art convinces the skeptical Ray of the notion that the Klopeks’ seclusion and the ominous noises emanating from their basement hint to their nefarious natures. The equally curious and suspicious Rumsfield joins Ray and Art as they spend the week snooping into the odd life of Hans (Courtney Gains), Uncle Reuben (Brother Theodore) and the “good” Doctor Werner Klopek (Henry Gibson).

Rendezvous...

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!

I enjoy watching horror movies most any time of the year, but October gives all of us the perfect excuse to sample all kinds of horrific craziness. The first October Tuesday kicked off my countdown to Halloween with a less than stellar slasher spoof. Before the countdown continues, I’d like to mention that if you’re looking for hardcore horror, I’ve decided to leave those films to our resident horror expert, Jason, and instead tackle other Halloween-worthy features.

Adam Maitland (Alec Baldwin) and his wife Barbara (Geena Davis) are celebrating their anniversary with what would be called a stay-cation in the parlance of our times. A quick trip into town for supplies ends with the kind couple careening off the town’s covered bridge and into the afterlife. Death seems peaceful until their home’s new residents, the Deetzes, arrive. Charles (Jeffrey Jones) is looking for peace and quiet, but his high-strung, artistic wife Delia (Catherine O’Hara) and her friend Otho (Glenn Shadix) already have their sights on transforming the rustic home into a modern monstrosity. Charles’ strange and unusual daughter Lydia (Winona Ryder) befriends the Maitlands despite their attempts to scare the Deetzes away. Exasperated by Lydia’s dad and step-mom, Adam and Barbara ignore the advice of their caseworker Juno (Sylvia Sidney) and summon a shady bio-exorcist by the name of Betelgeuse to handle matters.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Monday, October 8, 2012

MMM: Were You Expecting...

Some other selection today? I thought you knew me better than that. Enjoy!

Adele - Skyfall

Large Association of Movie Blogs

MILF Rendezvous: The Living Daylights

Happy Global James Bond Day, stargazers! My original intent was to review a Kate Winslet film for her birthday, but I’m too big a Bond fan to not commemorate his fiftieth birthday. To solve this conflict in the future, 007 producers need to hire Ms. Winslet to be the next big Bond villain. Phenomenal idea, no? Remember you saw it here first!

After surviving an ambushed training exercise in Gibraltar, British Secret Service Agent 007, better known as Bond… James Bond (Timothy Dalton), is assigned to aid Agent Saunders (Thomas Wheatley) in the defection of KBG General Georgi Koskov (Jeroen KrabbĂ©) during a symphony concert. Czechoslovakian cellist/sniper Kara Milovy (Maryam d’Abo), is foiled in her assassination of Koskov during his escape by Bond, but his intuition spares her life. A free Koskov informs MI6 that General Pushkin (John Rhys-Davies) has re-instituted the Smiert Spionam, a.k.a. Death to Spies, initiative. Before he can divulge any further Russian intelligence, Koskov is abducted by Necros (Andreas Wisniewski). M (Robert Brown) orders Bond to kill Pushkin during his upcoming visit to Tangier, but Bond takes a detour back to Bratislava where he befriends Milovy hoping she may have more insight on Koskov’s disappearance and Pushkin’s murderous motives.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

MILF Rendezvous: Class Reunion

One benefit of being locked in the vault with so many years of movies to choose from is that I get to not only reflect on my past cinematic love affairs, but I can also broaden (or refine) my appreciation for those who made those much-watched films possible. I’ve most enjoyed revisiting the works of John Hughes and have been trying to experience the man’s entire catalog. Being October, I jumped at the chance to watch National Lampoon’s Class Reunion,  Hughes’ spoof of my favorite horror subgenre, the slasher film.

Lizzie Borden High’s Class of ’72 is assembling back at their ol’ stomping grounds to celebrate their ten-year reunion. As this motley crew gather, an ominous figure skulks through the now dilapidated hallways. After Milt Friedman (Steve Tracy) wrecks the slide show by showing up dead, the alumni are informed by Dr. Robert Young (Michael Lerner) that their old classmate and his patient, Walter Baylor (Blackie Dammett), is the culprit. Walter, traumatized ever since being pranked by jock Bob Spinnaker (Gerrit Graham) and his fellow seniors ten years prior, has escaped the nearby mental institution to exact revenge on his entire graduating class. Trapped inside their crumbling alma mater, a few brave volunteers including the repeatedly forgotten Gary Nash (Fred McCarren) search for a way out as Walter stalks from the shadows.

Large Association of Movie Blogs