Reel Whore

MMM: You are the Spark and I'm the Fire

2012-01-30T10:00:00.000-05:00

Morning stargazers! Sucks that it's Monday again. My weekend flew right by before I even knew what was happening. Maybe this week will do the same so I can get to my next weekend. As busy as I felt, the highlight was going to the Pour House on Saturday evening to see Lelia Broussard perform. It was great fun and awesome music. Sorry if you missed her, but she does have a few more tour dates that might be in your neck of the woods.

After her tour wraps she'll be back in the studio so that gives all of you plenty of time to buy all her music, listen to it religiously, and become huge fans by the time she goes on tour again. Here's a little tune to get you started. Enjoy!

My Heart's a Cannonball - Lelia Broussard

Trailer Trash: January 27 of 2012

2012-01-27T10:00:00.000-05:00

It's been a big week, stargazers. Oscar nominations are out so I've got to get to theaters to see all the movies I missed last year. Considering I've only seen 2 of the 9 Best Picture nominees, that's going to be a lot of moviegoing for February. Adding to that count are also three new releases that look pretty decent. If this keeps up, I'm going to have to rent a cot at the back of the theater just to watch everything I want.

The Grey Folks who read my vault reviews over at the MILF will get a bit of deja vu this afternoon, so be forewarned. The Grey sets out to reconcile the age-old debate of Nature vs. Neeson. Those who've followed Neeson over the years have our favorite dog in this battle, but it'll be super fun watching Neeson take on whatever Nature can throw at him! Bring it Mutha!

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Man on a Ledge My excitement for MoaL has waned in recent weeks. This action-thriller looks to hit all its marks, but with so many Oscar nominees to watch, MoaL has to be put on the back shelf. If my viewing calendar were more open, I'd be seeing this for three reasons; Ed Harris - always the man, Jamie Bell - very underrated, and of course, Elizabeth "Banksable' Banks!

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

One for the Money A very aptly named project, this predictable comedy looks way better than the usual mess Katherine Heigl has starred in recently. Granted, some of the film's appeal is due to Debbie Reynolds attempts at snagging the junk parts Betty White's got no time for anymore. Either way, it looks funny enough to make my cheap theater viewing list. See you in a couple of months Kat.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

I'm super excited to see that Hugo has been revived on a couple of screens thanks to its many nominations. That's where's I'll be starting my viewing party. What Oscar flicks are you still looking to see?

MMM: Dragons and Ghosts

2012-01-23T10:00:00.000-05:00

Good morning everyone. I'm trying to start the week off right and one way to do that is by actually posting a Monday Mood Music selection. Another way to start off on the right foot it to jam on new music to keep the mind limber. It doesn't get much newer than the latest single from Ingrid Michaelson whose new album, Human Again, releases tomorrow. There's isn't an official video of her first single Ghost as of yet, but I hope you enjoy the tune nonetheless.

Ingrid Michaelson - Ghost

And on a completely different note, Happy Chinese New Year!

Trailer Trash: January 20 of 2012

2012-01-20T17:00:00.000-05:00

This week's new releases look way better than a couple weeks ago. IMDb says there are three new films to check out. and by all accounts they look worth our time.

Haywire I remember Carano's brief performance in Blood and Bone a couple years back and I'm looking forward to her kicking ass and taking names. She's surrounded by a nice assembly of actors and Soderbergh's behind it. What have I got to lose?

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Red Tails Never been war for period war films, but this looks pretty engaging. There's lots of good dog fights and though their aren't many big names in it, the acting looks to be on point. When I get a chance, I'll be giving this one a chance.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Underworld: Awakening

Kate Beckinsale's back - check!
She's poured into latex - check!
She's looking hot - double check!
She's kicking ass - check!
It's in 3D - boo!

Four out of 5 isn't bad. Count me in.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

What will you be watching this weekend?

MMM: Karma...

2012-01-09T00:00:00.000-05:00

The big music news over the weekend is that Beyonce gave birth to a bouncing baby girl by the name of Blue Ivy. Given that the child was named after Jay-Z's Blueprint album and Beyonce's favorite number four (a.k.a. IV), which is conveniently the title of her current album, I can only assume this child will be dropping her first album as soon as she can formulate words.

Until that dire day arrives, I couldn't help but wonder how Jay-Z feels now that his home is filling up with girls. To be a fly on the wall when he has to explain this little ditty to his daughter:

Jay-Z: Girls, Girls, Girls

Trailer Trash: January 6 of 2012

2012-01-06T09:00:00.000-05:00

Happy 2012 stargazers! Bringing in the new year was so much fun I apparently forgot to put out a Monday Mood Music! No matter, it will return next week, I promise. At least you have a Trailer Trash to warn you to stay far, far away from anything new opening this weekend. There's only one new release according to IMDb and who knows, maybe it won't be the horrid fare that is usually dumped at the beginning of the year. Let's find out.

The Devil Inside Looks like I was wrong. While the trailers don't look terrible, the poster makes me think of a cracked-out lesbian begging for bush. I've been burned plenty of times by shitty January horror movies over the years (Ugh, White Noise comes to mind). Also, when was it decided that crappy exorcism films are a January staple? Are people so tired of Christmas they're looking for a little AntiChrist?

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Obviously, I'll be passing on this week's offerings. Instead I've finally mustered up the strength to see the Americanized version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. What will you be watching?

Trailer Trash: The 2011 Blowout!

2011-12-21T15:00:00.000-05:00

Afternoon stargazers! I missed last week's Trailer Trash, but can you blame me? It's the holiday season and it's like diarrhea of the theaters right now. IMDb lists new releases opening nearly every day for the next couple of weeks. Instead of trying to pigeon hole all these releases into an end of the week round up, I'm just going to run through them all in one fell swoop. Enjoy!

Alvin & the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (12.16) I've yet to suffer through any of Alvin, Simon and Theodore's cinematic shenanigans. I enjoyed watching them growing up, but the CGI of this latest version is a travesty. Besides I can't support any movie that shills any variation of Willow Smith's Whip My Hair.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Sherlock Holmes: A Games of Shadows (12.16) The first installment of RDJ as SH was decent enough, but it didn't have me itching to come back for a sequel despite it's wide-open ending. Surprisingly, I'm kinda stoked about seeing the deuce. It has more to do with Noomi Rapace's stateside debut more than Holmes' and Watson's heterosexual lifemate sich, but I'm sure studios don't care as long as it puts my ass in a seat.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (12.20) The Hipster-Cruise look on the poster needs to go. I get they need it; this series started while most of its target audience was in utero. Hoodie aside; the action is tight, Pegg is funny, Patton is smokin', and Renner's big screen presence continues to expand. I've been on his band wagon since Somnambulist, but see him shine before the overexposure of the Avengers kicks in.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (12.20) My feeling about this is the original Swedish Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is pretty much a perfect film in every aspect so I have absolutely no need for an Americanized remake. This is one of those times when I tell people to suck it up and read the damned subtitles! I'm sure Craig will do a good job, but Mara has some huge platform boots to fill to convince me she's Lisbeth Salander.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

The Adventures of Tintin (12.21) Until I saw the first trailer for this, I thought this was going to be the story of Rin Tin Tin. I'd never even heard of the old cartoon series. The thing that makes me most excited about Tintin is that with Spielberg's involvement we might finally get a Academy Award category for motion capture just so Andy Serkis can get that long overdue Oscar!

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

We Bought a Zoo (12.23) I tell ya, I'd buy a helluva lot more than a zoo if I got to cozy up to Scarlett Johansson on the regular. Then again, if I looked like Matt Damon, I could probably buy her stuffed giraffe and be in there like swimwear. As for the movie, this looks to be the film that rinses the bad taste of Vanilla Sky and Elizabethtown Cameron Crowe left us with years ago. But if the kid starts talking about the weights of animal heads, all bets are off!

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

The Darkest Hour (12.25) Nothing like a little horror-styled counter-programming during the holidays. I'm still recovering from the burns Black Christmas left on my eyes years ago, so it's a safe bet I'll be passing on this. Besides, there's nothing like a faceless alien menace to make me even less excited about a film.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

War Horse (12.25) I'm not sure if it's the John Williams score or the warm inviting Spielberg polish of War Horse, but I'm actually pretty excited to see this. I gave it a middling rating, however, because if I see this it'll be all by my damned self since no one else has the slightest inkling of interest in it. I'll no doubt see it at some point, but those warms tones and soothing music will be coming from my home theater set up.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Happy Holidays Everyone!

MMM: Some Balls Are Held for Charity

2011-12-19T09:00:00.001-05:00

Seven days and counting until Christmas day! I hope you've finished all your holiday errands. I haven't, but I'm hoping you have. In all the hustle and bustle, I nearly forgot a very important holiday tradition; to download the Killers latest Christmas tune. This year's song is based on an 1890 poem by William Lawrence Chittenden and was set to music by western singer, Michael Martin Murphey. The Killers tweaked a few of the lyrics to make it their own, but the video is what really sets it apart as their jam. If the video doesn't get you into the holiday spirit, there may be no hope for you.

The Killers - The Cowboy's Christmas Ball

Don't you just that ol' Western vibe? It's like the Killers' version of Cowboys & Aliens, except more enjoyable.

MMM: Me Teethes Is Chitterin

2011-12-12T09:00:00.000-05:00

Damn stargazers, it's effin' cold here! I can normally deal with the winter chill, but I'm figuring since it was in the mid-70s last Monday my body just wasn't ready to downshift so quickly. Hopefully I'll get acclimated very soon. An apropos tune popped up into my shuffle this morning. It's by an up and coming band, Built for the Sea, that I assume is still around despite being MIA for a bit. If you know the scoop on them, let me know. If not, just enjoy their spin on this holiday classic.

Built for the Sea - Baby It's Cold Outside

Trailer Trash: The December 9th Quickie

2011-12-09T09:00:00.000-05:00

It's been a few weeks, but the Trailer Trash is back bitches! Honestly, you haven't missed anything in theaters. I myself haven't seen a mainstream movie since Tower Heist. Crazy, right? If the IMDb listed offerings for this weekend are any indication though, it looks like my ass will continue to stay at home watching Christmas movies and movies for my biweekly vault reviews over at Man, I Love Films.

The Sitter I gave my two cents of this when I reviewed Adventures in Babysitting, but in case you missed it...Pass. I want good things for David Gordon Green, but after Your Highness 2011 may not be his year. I like Hill usually, but he looks as annoying as these kids in this concept rehash. Sam Rockwell and Ari Graynor will eventually pull me into the theater, but not anytime soon.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

New Year's Eve If you want proof positive that the end of days is nigh, here it is. What but some sort of malevolent force could gather so many lovely and talented actors together to participate in such horrific schlock. I say this assuming it follows the same premise as last year's Valentine's Day, which by all accounts was so bad, I'd prefer to be subjected to Bucky Larson again before I'd sit through anything similar to it.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Still not sure how unenthusiastic I am about the above two offerings? I have only seen this trailer once, but Gary Oldman's face on the poster is all I need to know to be psyched for to see TTSS. I know it's a remake and it has some other respectable people in it as well, and as soon as this limited release opens here I will be sitting center row munching my popcorn.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Young Adult Much like TTSS, Young Adult isn't opening here this weekend either. The trailers keep the story short and not so sweet, but I've missed seeing Charlize play a grown up child ever since Arrested Development went off the air. Besides this has Reitman behind the helm so it can't be nearly as tedious as watching New Year's Eve.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

I'm most excited that The Descendants opens here today! That's where I'll be headed after work. How about you?

MMM: Take Me To The Place I Love

2011-12-05T09:00:00.000-05:00

Good morning stargazers! Sorry it's been a while since I've posted here, but the holidays got me all out of sync. First, I missed the Thanksgiving Trailer Trash due to holiday travels. Then a nasty head cold pre-empted last week's Monday Mood Music. I was all ready to get back on track with a new Trailer Trash last Friday, but not a single major new release opened last week. Go figure.

But you don't give a shit about all that! What matters is I'm back and I am super excited the Red Hot Chili Peppers are coming to my town in January! I scored my tickets on Saturday; not the best seats I had hoped for, but pretty damned good. This concert will make for one more band that I can mark off my Must See Before They Die List. Woo Hoo! In honor of their upcoming concert, let's play a little tunage from this LA band.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under The Bridge

MMM: Nonsense

2011-11-21T09:34:00.000-05:00

Morning stargazers. It's going to be a hectic week for me, as I'm sure it will be for all of you. Lots of family to visit and turkey to be eaten, and there's still work to be done.

At any rate, today's selection is a random choice when I shuffled my player this morning. As I mentioned in my Christian Bale Spank Bank way back when, every time I hear this song now, I can't help but think of him as Patrick Bateman Christian Bale in American Psycho. If you've seen it, you know why. If you haven't seen it, it'd be a good one to watch over the Thanksgiving holiday... or maybe not.

Phil Collins - Sussidio

Off to have a better week than this one has started out to be!

Trailer Trash: The November 18th Quickie

2011-11-18T09:00:00.000-05:00

Wow, I can't believe Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Looking ahead, the next few weeks are always a disappointing time. There will be tons of exciting new releases in the coming weeks, but thanks to my geographic location, I will be unable to enjoy most until after the new year. Makes a good argument for moving to NYC or LA for the holidays. Since that's not going to happen anytime soon, I'll instead focus on the three big releases listed over at IMDb for this weekend, one of which is an aforementioned forbidden treat. Can you guess which one?

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 I haven't followed Twilight since suffering through the first film. From what I can tell, Edward and Bella consummate their love and either she becomes swole with a half-vamp calf or Ed's shimmery spooge shards rip Bellas innards causing an internal hemorrhage the size of a basketball. Either way, Bella looks to be in pain, but not as much as I'd be in if I went to see this.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Happy Feet Two I don't know what's worse; that they made this sequel or that their title creativity was so uninspired. Why not go with Happy Feet: Step Up 2 Da Ice, Two Feet, Too Happy, Happy Feet: Part Dew!, Happy Feet: Mumble Never Sleeps, Happy Feet and the Chamber of Fishes, Mumble: First Blood Part II, Happy Feet: Episode II - Attack of the Cones, or the classic Happy Feet Too!. Not that it'd matter, I'd still pass.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

The Descendants This had me at Judy Greer, but adding George Clooney and Alexander Payne into the mix was a nice bonus. Plus there's the fact that Community's very own Dean Pelton (a.k.a. Jim Rash) had a hand in the script. I'd be first in line this weekend to see this, if it had opened here. If I'm lucky, maybe this can be my dessert after Thanksgiving.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

That's all we've got for this week, but fret not. We'll be inundated with Turkey Day releases before you know it!

MMM: Good Grief!

2011-11-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

I hate to start off the week on my soapbox, stargazers, but it must be said. I'm not sure if it's happened in your neck of the woods, but this weekend one local radio station began churning out nothing but Christmas music and is still at it today! Guess this means I'll need to skip this station until the week of Christmas; you know, the on time it's actually appropriate to listen to non-stop holiday cheer.

That said, when I flipped over to the channel this morning, they were playing a song that actually is appropriate for the entire holiday season. Linus and Lucy, better known as the Charlie Brown theme song, is a tune that's most in sync with fall and winter. You can set your holiday watch to the specials It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and A Charlie Brown Christmas, which is nice since you can't trust radio anymore.

If you're like me and not quite ready for full-blown Christmas cheer; why not enjoy a year-round, spirit lifting classic by American jazz pianist Vince Guaraldi.

Vince Guaraldi Trio - Linus and Lucy

Jazz Impressions of A Boy Named Charlie Brown

Trailer Trash: The November 11th Quickie

2011-11-11T10:00:00.000-05:00

Good morning stargazers. IMDb lists three new releases for this weekend, but none of them appear to honor our veterans. None of them really look like they'll excite our interest either. Here are these movies.

Immortals From trailer #1, this has been so...unimpressive. It's sad because Tarsem Singh is a visual genius behind the camera and I've been waiting for Henry Cavill to break out ever since he lost out to Daniel Craig for the role of James Bond. Those two reasons are enough to get me out to see Immortals, but that ridiculous helmet of Mickey Rourke's gives me pause.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

J. Edgar As you should all know, this project had me at Eastwood. Clint does period pieces well as does DiCaprio, so I expect this will be a satisfying biopic. I'm also extremely curious to see how Michael Westen a.k.a. Jeffrey Donovan handles his role as Robert Kennedy. It could be the role to step him up to the big screen, not that I want Burn Notice to end anytime soon.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Jack and Jill I enjoy a good Adam Sandler flick so when he starts making them again, be sure to let me know won't you? The slapstick comedy looks like it'll cause more eye-rolling than side-splitting. I should support my girl, but as longtime readers know, Katie's made it very clear she's moved on. I may chose to see this in the unheated discomfort of the cheap theater. At least then I can be numb to the pain it may cause.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Happy Veteran's Day everyone.

MMM: You Sound Like You're From London!

2011-11-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

This Monday Mood Music is brought to you by a funny story. Fall is in full force here and my summer generosity has come back to bite me; i.e. I donated a ton of my old long sleeve shirts to Goodwill and now my ass is frosty. So, I was strolling through various mall stores in search of replacement duds when the following occurred:

In the back of the store, older lady clerk turns to young hipster clerk and says" I love this song, who is it?"
YHC: Oh this is Adele. I love her.
OLC: Really? She's singing so much higher than in her other songs.
YHC: I know! She has such an amazing range. She's just so wonderful.
OLC: Yes she is...

I smiled as I walked away from their converse. Adele is a phenomenal singer, without a doubt. However, I know every Adele song and that won't one of them. They were actually listening to Duffy, but I decided to stay out of it. The irony's in the title. Enjoy!

Duffy - Rain On Your Parade

Trailer Trash: The November 4th Quickie

2011-11-04T09:00:00.000-04:00

Welcome to November stargazers! I'm still pretty wiped from the Week of Reel Whorror!. If you missed it, that's what the link's for. With Halloween behind us, it's on to Thanksgiving, stuffing ourselves silly, and falling asleep to football games and movies. If you want a jump start on that last item, IMDb says there are two major releases this weekend to chose from. These are those movies.

Tower Heist I've been hyping this movie over in my Man, I Love Films Vault Review column for the last three weeks. Individually, the stars have had their cinematic hits and misses, but together this looks like pretty safe bet. This may be Eddie Murphy's funniest project in years, especially if Casey Affleck and Michael Peña are given time to shine. I, for one, plan to find out this weekend.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas The first time I saw this trailer, this looked even worse than their first sequel Escape from Guantanamo Bay. Now that I've been exposed to the trailer another umpteen-thousand times, it still looks rude, raunchy and ridiculous, but I'm in just the right mood to enjoy that right now. WWNPHD? Tell me to go support his career, and would he ever really steer me wrong?

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

That's all we've got new in my neck of the woods. Lucky for me the summer releases are now spilling into the cheap theaters.

Week of Reel Whorror!: The Invasion Will Not Be Televised - Day 7

2011-10-31T15:00:00.000-04:00

It's here.... The moment you've all been waiting for. Of all the alien invasion films to chose from, the question remains, which is worthy for inclusion in the Week of Reel Whorror!? Naturally, Reel Whore has to end The Invasion Will Not Be Televised series with a personal favorite; a film featuring an alien invasions that's both gory and sexy.

Species

Release: 07.07.95
Rated R
1 hour, 48 minutes

Full Price

Xavier Fitch (Ben Kingsley) is a government mule whose been ordered to terminate his latest little science project. The project is a young girl, Sil (Michelle Williams), who isn't ready to be gassed and instead escapes into the night. Fitch reaches out to a handful of experts, Dr. Stephen Arden (Alfred Molina, Spider-Man 2), Dr. Laura Baker (Marg Helgenberger), an empath Dan Smithson (Forest Whitaker, Body Snatchers) and Preston Lennox (Michael Madsen, Reservoir Dogs), to assist in locating and neutralizing any threat Sil may pose.

Of all the invasion plots, this is by far the most clever. Aliens send their DNA sequence and an instruction manual on how to incorporate it within our genetic makeup over radio waves. Humans, being the curious creatures that we are, mix up the alien cocktail which grows to be the super hot blonde with an overwhelming desire to procreate. Obviously, no one's going to turn down sex from a horny Natasha Henstridge so presto fucko, you've got an instant alien invasion force being cranked from her womb.

Species doesn't quite get that far. Instead it shows the evolution of Sil from the young Michelle Williams (I still can't believe that's her!) to the sultry Natasha Henstridge. Adult Sil is naive to the ways of the world, and director Roger Donaldson (The Bank Job) deliberately shows Sil learning how to interact socially as well as other things like driving. This illustrates her high level of adaptability and helps to explain how she can elude the task force sent to annihilate her.

Sil suffers from what can best be described as nightmarish wet dreams, monsters and demonic trains race through her sleeping mind, hinting at the big bad alien which lies underneath that soft complexion. These further prove how undeniably cheesy Species is. Another reason to love Species is the casting; usually you might have one actor whose now a big name, but almost everyone here has quite the reputation.

Dirty Undies

Did I forget to mention that Henstridge is naked more often than clothed? Gratuitous?...Most likely, but if you ever need the perfect distraction for an alien invasion, it's pretty damned effective. Men, and women, seem to lose all rational thinking when Sil appears before them in the buff. She sidles up all innocent-like and, if she doesn't like what she sees, it becomes a bloodbath of alien tentacles and spikes. For audiences looking for sex and slaughter, it's a win-win.

The Money Shot

Many a slasher movie tries to awkwardly wedge in sexual situations to gratify audiences. Species does us one better by intertwining sex with the impending carnage. It's shameless, but effective; the result being an alien invasion that at least half the planet would be helpless to withstand.

MMM: The Invasion Will Not Be Televised

2011-10-31T09:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Halloween stargazers! For the past week, Reel Whore has been celebrating its my Week of Reel Whorror! in honor of this day. There's still one more installment waiting in the wings for The Invasion Will Not Be Televised series, but to tide you over until its release, here's a group that totally embodies this past week's out-of-this-world vibe with a fitting video for Halloween. Enjoy!

Daft Punk - Around the World

Week of Reel Whorror!: The Invasion Will Not Be Televised - Day 6

2011-10-30T15:00:00.000-04:00

The sixth day of my Week of Reel Whorror! is nearly over which means Halloween is right around the corner. For today's selection, I have chosen last month's Apollo 18 to join the ranks of The Invasion Will Not Be Televised.

Apollo 18

Release: 09.02.11
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 26 minutes

A Netflix Night

Commander Nate Walker (Lloyd Owen, TV: The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles), Captain Ben Anderson (Warren Christie, TV: Alphas), and Lieutenant Colonel John Grey (Ryan Robbins, TV: Sanctuary) are tapped by NASA to man the Apollo 18 mission to the moon. Although officially, the Apollo program had ended with the seventeenth mission, the Department of Defense green-lights their mission to install early detection equipment to warn of missile launches from the USSR. With Grey manning the Freedom Command module, Nate and Ben make moonfall in the Liberty lunar module and begin to work. It isn't long before the two begin to suspect the camera equipment is meant to identify something far more dangerous than Soviets.

Maybe it was some sort of solidarity move or maybe just coincidence, but the theater showcasing Apollo 18 was completely without heat, so I and one other patron sat there, in the vast dark, struggling to stay warm as the "found-footage" of the Apollo 18 mission flashed before us. You'd think my numb toes and chattering teeth would have been enough to keep me alert, but it wasn't long before my eyes were rolling into my head like Regan MacNeil.

Apollo 18 suffers from a few issues.The most annoying issue is the end-of-reel cuts and the intentional low quality blurring. In an effort to give the story an authentic feel, these effects were added to the scenes. Over time it just grows more annoying, especially since the end-of-reel cuts always end on some foreboding moment. Even more annoying is the constant static and buzz Nate and Ben encounter when communicating with John and Mission Control. It feel incessant, and detracts from the characters.

Which is the major problem for Apollo 18. Some equate it to a Paranormal Activity ripoff, and there are some obvious similarities, the difference is the audience is barely given time to sympathize with the characters. Nate, Ben and John spend the first act rattling off space jargon; launch protocols, equipment installation and sample collection. While it's an accurate portrayal of life during a moon mission, it's hard to develop a connection when non-astronauts are listening to their technical jibber-jabber.

Dirty Undies

Apollo 18 deserves credit for providing a few jump scares, but don't expect much in the way of gore. There's one dusty corpse, an infected laceration, and a pair of bloodshot eyes in dire need of Visine. I can't say that I was all that impressed by the alien menace, but I'll spare the details so as not to spoil it.

The Money Shot

I had hoped Apollo 18 would be mildly entertaining, and that's exactly what I got. So if the trailers piqued you're interest, it may be worth your time. Even though Apollo 18 was shooting for the moon, it didn't land among the stars of alien horror.

Week of Reel Whorror!: The Invasion Will Not Be Televised - Day 5

2011-10-29T15:00:00.000-04:00

Wow, it's already the fifth day of Reel Whore's Week of Reel Whorror! Next up in The Invasion Will Not Be Televised series I have another John Carpenter classic from the '80s, which is an adaptation of Ray Nelson's short story Eight O'Clock in the Morning.

They Live

Release: 11.04.88
Rated R
1 hour, 33 minutes

Full Price

One thing is for certain; John Carpenter loves adapting stories about aliens. It can also be said that he loves to work with Kurt Russell, except that the hero in They Live is wrestler Roddy Piper (Hell Comes to Frogtown). Piper plays a drifter who arrives in Los Angeles looking for work. You see, times are hard, the economy is in the toilet and people are fed up with the wealthy elite running the country into the ground. Times haven't changed that much, huh? However, in They Live, aliens disguised as humans are at the root of the financial imbalance. They reward humans who aid them in their exploitation of Earth's people and resources. And they would have continued to rape the planet for decades had the lowly drifter not found those spanky sunglasses.

As silly as it sounds, a small resistance force develops sunglasses and contact lenses that allow humans to see the aliens and their subliminal, consumerist messages. The drifter gets his hands on a pair, and like any red-blooded American confronted with a malicious alien menace, grabs the first gun he can find and starts wrecking shit.

For this self-nominated savior, there are few better choices than Piper. He stomps around kicking ass and spouting some great one-liners. If you've ever heard the quote, "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubble gum," you can thank Piper for delivering one helluva ad-lib. He's not the most adept at the softer scenes he shares with the striking-eyed Meg Foster (Blind Fury), but '80s audiences liked their heroes hard so that's not too important.

They Live also features one of my favorite knock-down, drag-out beatings. The drifter basically tries to convince his new-found friend Frank (Keith David, The Thing) of the alien menace by stomping a mud hole in his ass in the middle of a dirty alley. Piper puts his wrestling training to good use as David isn't one to go down easy. After several grueling minutes, Frank joins the cause and they go off to kick ass and chew bubblegum together.

Dirty Undies
The drifter and Frank rack up a healthy alien body count as they run roughshod through LA. There isn't a lot of blood or gore, but it's action for action's sake, which keeps the pace moving. If you're patient, Carpenter slips in a sexual situation at the very end; it does have its purpose, and the nudity is a bonus.

The Money Shot
They Live is still an awesome flick twenty-three years later and its social commentary is, unfortunately, still relevant. Carpenter sets up the story, gets to the meat of the matter and doesn't dawdle after the resolution. If you're tired of seeing Michael Myers loiter on the streets of Haddonfield, watch Rowdy Roddy mop up in LA.

Week of Reel Whorror!: The Invasion Will Not Be Televised - Day 4

2011-10-28T15:00:00.000-04:00

The weekend is upon us and so is Day 4 of The Invasion Will Not Be Televised. I couldn't really do an alien horror recap without including at least one film about the pod people!

Body Snatchers

Release: 10.14.11
Rated R
1 hour, 27 minutes

Group Rental

There's quite a few films based on the Jack Finney novel The Body Snatcher, this just happened to be the one I could get my hands on most easily. Having now suffered through it, I understand why. I'm getting ahead of myself so let's start at the beginning.

Marti (Gabrielle Anwar, For Love or Money) is none too happy about being moved to a military base with her dad Steve (Terry Kinney, Sleepers), little brother Andy (Reilly Murphy) and step-mom Carol (Meg Tilly, The Two Jakes). Dad works for the EPA and has to run samples on the toxic goo General Platt (R. Lee Ermey) is storing on-site. To make things worse, her brother and Major Collins (Forest Whitaker) are ranting about the strange behavior of the base's inhabitants. As everyone is consumed by pod people, the only plus for Marti is the hunky chopper pilot Tim (Billy Wirth, The Lost Boys) who has taken an interest in her.

Despite the Netflix rating, I was kind of excited to see Body Snatchers. Gabrielle Anwar, R. Lee Ermey and Forest Whitaker made for a nice cast pedigree. Plus I was psyched, Abel Ferrara, director of Bad Lieutenant was at the helm. Even with all this going for it, Body Snatchers seriously sucked. Granted, it does have its moments. Whitaker's insane, pill-popping rant opposite Ermey is a must-see scene. Tilly's freaky "Go Where" interrogation is a chilling turning point. Then there's everything else. The impending doom of the body snatchers is barely developed before the shit hits the fan. There are tons of squandered opportunities to show the take over by the pod people, but instead audiences are given a slew of characters who just randomly turn up as cabbage heads two scenes later.

Dirty Undies

To its credit, Snatchers gives audience some decent podding effects and gore as well as a few flashes of nudity. There's even one seductive scene featuring Anwar which is both hot and creepy. Hot because she's hot, but creepy considering she's portraying a seventeen year old (by the by, she was in her early twenties when this was filmed). There's also a random display of Rambo: First Blood Part II carnage, though it served more to pad the runtime rather than contribute to the story.

The Money Shot

Ultimately, Body Snatchers is a whole lot of staring and a little but of running. If what Andy says about the pod people is true and they do get you when you sleep, their best chance to snatch you will be if decide to queue this up.

Trailer Trash: The October 28th Quickie

2011-10-28T12:00:00.000-04:00

Time for a brief intermission from the Week of Reel Whorror to showcase all the goodies Hollywood is tempting us with this Halloween weekend. Taking a look at IMDb we've got jack shit in terms of spooky and scary. It's all animated cats and a singer-wannabe-action star... Hmmm, that actually does sound pretty scary, only for entirely different reasons.

In Time The stench of action vehicle hangs off this as badly as last month's lame Lautner flick, Abduction. In Time has got a ton of talented, and gorgeous, people surrounding and supporting Justin Timberlake. I guess that's supposed to somehow convince audiences to take him seriously. Where's Ben Foster and Ryan Gosling when you need them?

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Puss in Boots I love the point Dylan over at Man, I Love Films made, " I don’t know about you, but I already saw The Mask of Zorro." I would actually be somewhat psyched to see this except it unnerves me that the trailers rely on those risque golden egg jokes to sell this KIDS movie! Why not just let your house apes settle in with Bad Santa this holiday.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

The Rum Diary This may come as a shock to some, but I didn't much care for Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. This film looks like a much...tamer, imagining of the Hunter S. Thompson's work; kind of like Palahniuk's Choke was to Fight Club. I'm certain Depp and the drool-worthy Amber Heard will give it their all, I just won't be there to see it.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Enough distractions, time to get back to the whorror!

Week of Reel Whorror!: The Invasion Will Not Be Televised - Day 3

2011-10-27T15:00:00.000-04:00

Hey stargazers! After tackling John Carpenter's The Thing yesterday, why not roll into Day 3 of The Invasion Will Not Be Televised with the recent rehash starring North Carolina's own Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

The Thing

Release: 10.14.11
Rated R
1 hour, 43 minutes

Full Price

In 1982, scientists at a Norwegian research station discover an alien spacecraft buried beneath a 100,000 years worth of ice. Paleontologist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Black Christmas) is recruited by the project lead, Dr. Halvorson (Ulrich Thomsen, Hitman), to catalog and identify the accompanying life-form found outside the craft. But once the alien ice pop is brought to the lab, the warm, monstery center explodes from its casing before the crew can even get in their three licks. As the creature preys on the staff, the remaining crew begin to suspect one another as the latest host of this unknown menace.

I went in to The Thing 2011 believing it to be a remake of the John Carpenter's take on John W. Campbell Jr.'s story Who Goes There?. Turns out this version is a prequel which I though was a phenomenal concept. Instead of attempting to tweak, or directly copy, elements of Carpenter's version, first-time film director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. and writer Eric Heisserer are given a chance to interpret the idea of fighting this alien menace as they see fit.

By doing this, audiences are treated to a new group with a differing set of flight-or-fight responses to their hunted status. It's like having the new crop of killees in a Freddy or Jason flick; the viewers know the threat, but the enjoyment comes from watching the potential victims try to a) work out a means to survive and b) work together to do it. Like in Carpenter's version, dissension within the ranks happens quickly, especially considering Lloyd and Dr. Halvorson were already embroiled in a pissing contest before the alien threat. Overall, the cast nail that frantic uncertainty.

Dirty Undies

I'm torn about the monster effects. There's something magically creepy about the latex and goo of the Carpenter "things," but CGI allows the new and improved "things" to move, twist, and destroy in ways that were cost and logistically prohibitive back in the '80s. The new "things" had a few noticeable improvements to amplify the gut-n-gore factor without being an orgy of effects.

This go 'round, the research station was manned with a couple of non-mans which provided some nice equal opportunity ogling. Still they're in Antarctica, so not much of chance to catch either sex in their skivvies.

The Money Shot

Solid acting, gruesome deaths and an excellent bridge to the Carpenter version, The Thing 2011 gave me a theatrical experience I honestly hadn't expected. Like the alien, The Thing 2011 is an extension of The Thing 1982; it's part of the whole, but it's also a separate beast out to infect it's viewer with tingly feelings of fear and dread.

Week of Reel Whorror!: The Invasion Will Not Be Televised - Day 2

2011-10-26T15:00:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Day 2 of Reel Whore's Week of Reel Whorror! Next up in The Invasion Will Not Be Televised series is the classic '80s adaptation (but not the first adaptation) of John W. Campbell Jr's short story Who Goes There?

The Thing

Release: 06.25.82
Rated R
1 hour, 49 minutes

Full Price

It took me the better part of nineteen years watch John Carpenter's The Thing. To be fair, I would have been six when this was released and my folks weren't real big on going to the movies. Upon the addition of VHS to our home, I was more excited about perusing the new release racks than revisiting all those old films. Luckily, Hollywood felt the need to remake The Thing this year, so I queued up the original and now I hate that I put it off watching it for so damned long!

In a most bizarre beginning, a sled dog is racing across Antarctica being chased by a rifleman in a helicopter! The pooch makes it to an American research outpost just as the crew heads out to see the commotion. The crazed rifleman, a Norwegian unable to speak English, springs from the the chopper and, after nearly killing one of the Americans is shot for fear that he'll kill them all. In the commotion, a sinister creature has infiltrated their camp. Trapped by a winter storm with a creature that can assume the appearance of their prey, the men begin to point fingers and guns at the one's they think are the threat.

Heading the cast is Kurt Russell who plays the chopper pilot, MacReady. Though he's not the big man on the totem pole, when the shit goes down, you know everyone turns to Russell. In addition to Russell, The Thing is chock full of great '80s actors like Wilford Brimley, T.K. Carter, Charles Hallahan, Richard Masur, Donald Moffat and Keith 'Mutha Fuckin' David! You couldn't ask for a better group of guys to be trapped with an alien in the freezing cold. Well, except that Brimley's Dr. Blair goes nutso and wrecks shit in an attempt to save humanity. Together these guys are so believably freaked out by the events that even the audience wonders who's who.

Dirty Undies
I'm not sure if it's that the drugs of the '80s were just that good or if Carpenter and creature creator Rob Bottin were still high on '70s opiates, but the creatures are amazingly freaky. Watching The Thing is kinda like attending a pig pickin'; live things are killed and torn to shreds, blood is splattered everywhere, and every once in a while a meaty chunk gets barbecued. Speaking of meat, this was cast as a sausage fest in an icebox so don't expect any enticing sexual imagery.

The Money Shot

Thanks to great creature efffects, wonderfully paranoid acting, and shit getting torched or blown up every few minutes, The Thing holds up amazingly well. It's so tense that you barely wonder why you don't always see people's breath when their exposed to the elements or how folks can run out into the cold, Antarctic night AND THEN put their jacket on. Small foibles aside, The Thing is a creature feature you should not let stay hidden.

Week of Reel Whorror!: The Invasion Will Not Be Televised - Day 1

2011-10-25T15:00:00.000-04:00

There's only one week left before Halloween, and that means it's time for the official raising of the Reel Whore's Week of Reel Whorror! This year's whorror theme is The Invasion Will Not Be Televised. For those a little slow on the uptake, this means the Reel Whore is getting invaded by ALIENS! But you can damn well bet I'm the one that'll be doing the probing!

Let's kick off this party with a flashback to one of 2010's better alien movies featuring a monster we should all know, respect and fear:

Predators

Release: 07.09.10
Rated R
1 hour, 46 minutes

Full Price

Ever have those dreams where you're falling? You wake up and all is okay. Well, the mercenary Royce (Adrien Brody, The Thin Red Line) has it worse. He wakes up to find himself in a freefall over a jungle. His chute opens automatically just as he plummets through the canopy. He lands next to an enforcer named Cuchillo (Danny Trejo, Desperado). After a series of awkward icebreakers, seven of the baddest mofos from Earth and one spazzy doctor (Topher Grace, Spider-Man 3) band together on an alien planet to defend themselves from being shredded by a group of Predators.

You would think a small group of highly-trained killers armed with a variety of weapons would be unstoppable, but the Predators' massive size, hunting skills, and advanced tech makes these folks look like children with slingshots. Surprisingly, the underdogs turn out to be quick learners, surviving far longer than you might expect. That, in large part, is due to Royce and his super-mercenary skills. For a lone gunman, he quickly brings the group under control, guides them through the foreign terrain, and even identifies the many hunting techniques being employed against them. The only ability he didn't have was using that ginormous bill to sniff out the cloaked creatures.

Like any diverse array of victims, um, I mean characters, they won't all go down in a shining blaze of glory. I was mostly pleased by each person's encounter with the Predators. The first casualty totally pissed me off; not in execution (pardon the pun), but in the executed. My only major qualm with the choices of director Nimród Antal (Vacancy) is that he fails to capitalize on one particular character in earlier scenes. Had this character been better established, it would have made for a stronger climax. Sorry for being vague, but I'm trying to not ruin anything for audiences.

Dirty Undies
Tense and violent, Antal really captures the hunted vibe of the original Predator. The creatures look amazing and if anything has changed from their original look, it's that they are more menacing. I have to agree with Walton Goggins (TV: Justified); Alice Braga (I Am Legend) does have an awesome ass. She can also kick ass with the best of 'em. But, of all the gun-toting, ass-whooping humans on the planet, nobody beats Goggins's portrayal of death row inmate Stans. Had the man actually had a firearm, I can only imagine the hurt he would've put on those aliens.

The Money Shot
Predators is not without its problems, but did anyone seriously expect it to be a masterpiece of cinema? No. I went in expecting Predators to kill some folks, but also get what they had coming to them, and somewhere along the way, see some shit explode. It achieves all three while staying true to the heart of the original concept. What more can you really ask for?

MMM: Come Back and Haunt Me

2011-10-24T09:30:00.000-04:00

95% of the time, I could do without the incessant advertising reel played before movies. I'm not talking about trailers, but the loud, grating mass of interviews, scene snippets about upcoming television shows and movies and commercials about cellphones, cars and random social causes. Even if you don't go to the movies as much as I do, by now I'm sure you've seen this particular commercial which I totally expected to be sponsored by some sort of non-profit foundation, but should not have been surprised when it was a restaurant ad. Maybe it's their environmental message or their song selection, but luckily for Chipotle I'd place their commercial right up there with the Dean Winters' Allstate commercials, in the tolerable 5% of advertising.

I missed my chance to see Willie Nelson in concert last week, so here's a little taste of Willie covering Coldplay while hocking the taste of Chipotle.

Willie Nelson - The Scientist

As a bonus, and in honor of the release of their latest album, here's the original version of The Scientist.

Coldplay - The Scientist

And just because he's awesome, here's Dean Winters in one of my favorite Allstate commercials.

Allstate: "Raccoon" Dean Winters

Trailer Trash: The October 21st Quickie

2011-10-21T09:00:00.000-04:00

Another weekend of cool and sunny weather in my area. As easy as the Reel Whore is, the theater is going to have to offer up one helluva movie to coax me into a seat. Checking both IMDb and The Numbers tells me we have four major releases vying for our attentions, but is our attention warranted?

Johnny English Reborn I swear I watched Johnny English back when it came out, but I can't tell you the first thing about it besides Rowan Atkinson starred alongside Natalie Imbruglia. Yeah, Imbruglia, I know. Reborn looks like mild, silly fun, and movies like that play best on cable television which is where I'll catch this.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

The Mighty Macs Since the boys can't resolve the lockout, let the ladies sate your b-ball appetites. This is a true story tale of inspiration about an all-women's Catholic college basketball team from the 70s. Carla Gugino stars and she always inspires me to go to the movies. Bonus, Bones fans can get their David Boreanaz fix while they wait for the new season to begin. Sounds like a win-win all around.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Paranormal Activity 3 The idea of a sequel to Paranormal Activity excited me so much last time that I never saw it. The teaser trailer for the third installment was equally snoozeworthy. But I have to admit the latest trailers where folks are being thrown around like rag dolls are pretty cool. Cool enough to go see it opening weekend, eeehhh don't think so.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

The Three Musketeers Milla Jovovich is my go to action actress and I will see just about anything she's in, but this looks so colossally terrible that not even my love her can justify wasting the money. I wonder whose ass is gonna get reamed when the weekend box office numbers are released next week.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

That's all I got folks. Come back next week, big doings are in the works.

MMM: No Shoes, No Shirt, ...

2011-10-17T09:00:00.000-04:00

Up today is my new favorite ham. Sorry, I meant jam - guess I still have that massive country ham biscuit on the brain from yesterday's trip to the Fair! Since I'm on the subject of porkly goodness, the video for this Monday Mood Music selection is a serious sausage fest, so consider yourself warned. That said, enjoy!

LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It

I'm just wondering how many speedo sportin' dudes are going to be strutting around the clubs Halloween weekend. Kinda makes me want to stay home and pass out candy to the kiddies.

Trailer Trash: The October 14th Quickie

2011-10-14T15:00:00.000-04:00

A bright and sunny weekend lies ahead, the State Fair is in town and AMC's The Walking Dead premiers. This leaves very little time for going to the movies. If you or I do make it to the theater, IMDb says there are three major releases looking to lure us away from its competitors. The question is which, if any, has the right stuff to do just that?

Footloose The idea of banning dancing and good ol' Rock'n'Roll seemed redonkulous in 1982 and remaking the concept for today's headphones-wired-into-our-cortex society deserves a new descriptor. How about Footfukintardtastic?

Maybe not. No worries. I've got plenty of time to come up with one since I'll be staying way the fuck away from this one.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

The Big Year I'm very excited about The Big Year. Don't misunderstand, the trailers gives me some serious heebie-jeebies. I'm guessing this will be a colossal fail. I'm excited because its release means Steve Martin will be hosting SNL very soon thus tying Alec Baldwin's record. Those eps are always a blast to watch.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

The Thing No lie, I watched the original for the first time two days ago and it held up pretty damned well. Not sure how this remake will fair, but its got three things going for it;

Mary,
Elizabeth,
Winstead.

North Carolina Represent!

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Daylight's burning stargazers. I'm off to enjoy the hell out of my weekend and I hope you do the same.

MMM: When We're Spinning

2011-10-10T09:00:00.000-04:00

Morning stargazers. I've had a few crazy-busy weeks, but I'm hoping things will start returning to normal today. It better, because the State Fair opens this week and I need time to consume my yearly requirement of fried goodness.

Speaking of being consumed, the fall television season is in full gear and I am as happy as a schoolgirl that the BBC series Luther is back. If you haven't gotten into this show, Netflix is streaming the first season. It's the perfect time to jump on board. Besides there's only six episodes from last season and this season is only four episodes; not a huge commitment.

In the meantime here's the theme song from Luther. This may be a repeat selection, but enjoy it just the same.

Massive Attack - Paradise Circus

By the way, this is not the official video for Massive Attack's song, this is. Their video is not safe for work, so it might be best to enjoy it this evening.

Trailer Trash: The October 7th Quickie

2011-10-07T23:00:00.000-04:00

Oh how the day has gotten away from me. But the weekend is here and IMDb says we have two new releases to enjoy. Since I'm already behind the gun, I'll try and keep my comments to five words of less.

The Ides of March

Clooney & The Gos...mmm.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Real Steel

The Robotic Rocky.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

I think that about sums it up. Have a great weekend at the movies and I'll catch you on the flipside.

MMM: Jean Claude Van Damme You're Sexy!

2011-10-03T09:00:00.000-04:00

Morning folks! I'm in the mood for something light and fun to kick off the week. For that I turn to the musical talents of Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome. Kate you may know better from her semi-regular role as Shelley on Raising Hope while I affectionately remember Riki as the psycho girlfriend from Last House on the Left. Also each makes one-half of the musical duo, Garfunkel and Oates. No matter how you know them,just be sure you do because they're gonna be here making us laugh with music, movies and television for a long time to come.

Garfunkel and Oates

One Night Stand

And here's a bonus vid to really get you psyched for the week:

Running With Chicken

Trailer Trash: The September 30th Quickie

2011-09-30T14:00:00.000-04:00

Since I'm running late with this week's edition, I'll just get down to brass tacks. Here's my knee-jerk reaction to the trailers of the three major films on IMDb's release list.

50/50 From 3rd Rock from the Sun to 500 Days of Summer to 50/50, I'm starting to think JGL has a thing for numerically titled projects. No matter, I love the fella enough to overlook his eccentricities. This film was originally in my Fall Top 10, but now I'm 70/25 about it; 70% wants my JGL fix, 25% is tired of Rogen's fugly mug (see poster at right). The other 5%? Stuck on determining the hotness of Anna Kendrick.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Dream House Maybe this is a fantastic mystery or maybe Daniel Craig just pulled the short straw out of the Great-Actors-Swindled-Into-Overly-Twisty-Thrillers jar. Considering that I'm not a big fan of Craig's costars and that the trailers are murky at best, I'm going to wait and see this when I can pause it for stretch breaks.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

What's Your Number? You know I love you, don't you Anna? But why do you test our love so? Love can only take so much. This plot seems about as complex as a maze with no turns, but Anna and her supporting cast (Martin Freeman, Ari Graynor, Thomas Lennon, etc.) should help liven up the plodding path. Might be time to dig up Just Friends and remember the good times.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Looks like 50/50 tops my must-see list this weekend... right below Killer Elite which I didn't have a chance to see last week. What's on your must-see in theaters list right now?

MMM: Wake Up!

2011-09-26T10:00:00.000-04:00

Yaaaawwwwn!!! Oh, g'morning stargazers. It's been hard to get up and get moving (That's what she said!). Luckily the caffeinating magic of Mountain Dew is flowing through my veins which should keep me upright and attentive at least until lunch. I'm guessing I'm not the only person dragging along this Monday so here's a song with some teeth that'll dig into our ears and keeps us shook up. Even though the first line is Wake Up!, the sentiment is a little deeper than keeping yours eyes open.

System of Down - Chop Suey!

For the trivia buffs out there, Chop Suey! earned System of a Down their first Grammy nomination. And if you didn't know, now you know.

Trailer Trash: The September 23rd Quickie

2011-09-23T15:00:00.000-04:00

Stargazers, I have been dreading this week for longer than I care to remember. It's not because I've spent the week being barraged by Now-on-DVD adverts touting the brilliance of the woefully undeserving Bridesmaids, although that doesn't help. No, according to IMDb, what will no doubt be the most awful action film of the year releases today. You'll have to read on to discover which one, but I bet you can guess.

Dolphin Tale "Hi there! Now what seems to be the problem here? This dolphin doesn't have a tail you say? No worries, for I, Harry Connick, Jr. will combine my jazz talent with the vocal stylings of Kris Kristofferson, that purdy smile on Ashley Judd, and the magic of this kindly black man to infuse her aquatic soul with a funky-folky groove that'll have her swimming like Michael Phelps in no time." (Sorry Harry, love ya!)

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Moneyball Brad Pitt plays the major league coach who gives a tubby, nonathletic youth a sporting chance to knock it out the park with his newfangled scouting scheme. Jonah Hill isn't nearly endearing, or ethnic, enough to make this a mega-hit like Blind Side, but I'm always game to see Brad on the big screen. So dreamy.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Abduction If a shit could take a shit, this would be the rancid, stinking pile left behind. And if you put that turd in a bag, set it on fire then doused it with water, Taylor Lautner would still not be able to act his way to freedom. I like to believe all the other talent (Singleton, Weaver, Bello, Molina) were attached before they cast the cardboard cutout. If it weren't for Killer Elite also opening, I'd swear Hollywood is trying to kill the action genre.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Killer Elite Now when I think action, this is what I'm thinking about! Not Clive Owens pedo 'stache, but the ass-whooping Jason Statham is going to lay on him for growing such a pervy thing! Not sure why De Niro is in this, but as long as it delivers on its R-rated promise, you won't hear me complaining.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Let's make a pact to make Killer Elite the #1 film at the box office this weekend. Action fans unite!

MMM: A Little Teaser

2011-09-19T10:00:00.001-04:00

Good week to you stargazers! You can consider this Monday Mood Music selection a hint as to what my Vault Review will be tomorrow over at Man, I Love Films. It's a phenomenal jam, and for that reason, it's a shitty clue. According to IMDB, Green Onions has been credited two dozen times in TV shows and films, but I'm guessing there are even more. While that does narrow down which film is up for review, it's far from a dead giveaway. You'll have to wait until tomorrow to read my vault review, but you can listen to Booker T. & the M.G.'s right now. It's guaranteed to put you into a funky, feel good mood for the week.

Booker T. & the M.G.'s - Green Onions

Trailer Trash: The September 16th Quickie

2011-09-16T09:00:00.080-04:00

The weekend is once again upon us! If you've been suffering from Mad Men withdrawal or more specifically, buxom redhead withdrawal, this is the weekend you need to be at the theater. Christina Hendricks has supporting roles in two of the three major releases, at least that's what IMDb tells me, and it's not a site prone to lies. It's no surprise she couldn't find a role in Straw Dogs; having her and Alexander Skarsgård share the screen would have been too much hotness for one movie. If Hendricks isn't reason enough to buy your ticket, here's a few more.

Drive Have you seen this trailer? If so, then there's no need to convince you to see Drive because you know it looks fucking fantastic! Following the Damon method, Gosling's poised to achieve action star status now that he's proven himself a talented dramatic actor. The film features an exceptional supporting cast and a highly praised director. How could you not see this?

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

I Don't Know How She Does It That would be the answer to the question; how does SJP still star in films? My disdain for Parker isn't the killing factor; Kinnear and Brosnan are enough to cancel her out for me. No actress, not even Maria Bello or Laura Linney could make this dopey premise appealing. Also, is it just me or does the poster remind you of Sesame Street's One of These Things (Is Not Like the Other) game?

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Straw Dogs Straw Dogs is one of my must-see fall movies. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe I have a soft spot for James Marsden. Maybe I just like films about good ol' country boys fucking with outsiders. Actually, it's probably because I'm a sucker for brutal violence and this appears to have it in spades. It has nothing to do with a shirtless Skarsgård; I get plenty of that in True Blood.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Now that I'm thinking about it, this weekend is looking like television has invaded the movies with all the TV actors scoring so many parts in the offerings. I guess that's one way to ensure I'll get up off the couch and into a theater seat!

MMM: Grrrr... Shawkat

2011-09-12T09:00:00.001-04:00

It's been a while, but I've returned with a new-ish tune for your ears. It's off the debut album of the Los Angeles indie rock band, Best Coast. The video for this single was directed by Drew Barrymore and features more than a few familiar faces for you film and TV buffs. I've already given one away, but see who else you recognize.

Best Coast - Our Deal

Get More: MTV Supervideo, Music, Best Coast

Now I'm off to get this week started!

Trailer Trash: The September 9th Quickie

2011-09-09T13:00:00.053-04:00

While I have been MIA for the past week, I'm guessing all my stargazers were like this:

DOCTOR

Unfortunately, he's away at a nerd festival.

STARGAZER

Right. Uh, so can I read some new content?

DOCTOR

I'm sorry. Your blogger is out of town.

STARGAZER

(pausing)

What are you talking about? What happened to him?!

WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?!

Okay, so maybe my dear readers weren't that bent out of shape, but I hope my absence was noted. Now, I'm back to discuss the three major releases, as listed by IMDb.

Contagion If you didn't notice, I'm more than a little excited about Contagion. A great director with a stellar cast, including Matt Damon yelling at people. I didn't need to see anything else to sell me, although the inclusion of a second Spank Bank inductee, Sanaa Lathan, was icing on the cake.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Warrior Sigh. I can't even count all the ways I'm not interested in this. Sadly, I feel like I should be at least moderately psyched to watch Warrior. It's got Tom Hardy and Jennifer Morrison. It's got fighting. But it has also got icky-stick tendrils waiting to lash out and latch onto my heartstrings and yank the shit out of them. That's something I'm just not in the mood for right now.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star Oh, Nick Swardson, I so want you to have a hit comedy movie, but the trailers are telling me that this will not be that movie. The raunchy premise is one that the Reel Whore can't ignore, but I prefer to be pleasantly surprised at the second-run theater than disappointed on opening weekend.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Being out of town last weekend has put my severely behind in movie watching, so I need to gets to getting. I hope you find a fun film diversion; that's my plan.

Trailer Trash: The August 26th Quickie

2011-08-26T13:00:00.058-04:00

I'll be damned if it isn't the end of August. I swear I was eating hot dogs on the Fourth just a couple weeks ago. As the saying goes, time flies when you have shit to do. Wait, that doesn't sound right. Still applies. Anyways, one thing on my must-do list, assuming Hurricane Irene visits, is to go to the movies and catch up on some movies I've missed over the past few weeks. That is unless the new releases (see IMDb ) are must-see offerings. Let's have a look see.

Colombiana I admit I've already seen this, but had I not gotten to see an advance screening, I wouldn't have sliced into my cheddar to rush out this weekend. Luc Besson is can't-miss when it comes to penning and producing action flicks. That said, it'd be much easier to wrap a foil Juicy Fruit wrapper around Saldana than it is to wrap my head around her as an unstoppable killer.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Our Idiot Brother Very little about this premise appeals to me, but my man-crush on Paul Rudd won't let me skip it. Even through all the scruffiness he's got going on, I can't say no to that face...or Zooey Deschanel's...or Elizabeth Banks-able Banks'... or Rashida Jones'. You get the point; it's a great cast in a questionable movie. I've committed to far worse.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark How can I put this? Katie and I haven't been...cinematic in quite some time. It's a long story, but I have my reasons. I'd be willing to put aside our familial issues if her latest film looked more, well, interesting. I'd have to put my faith in Guillermo del Toro's writing to take this up a notch, but from what the trailers have shown I'm only confident the creature effects will be worth the price of admission.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

With so many middling movies, it looks like I am safe to play catch up on last week's Fright Night and the much-anticipated TrollHunter. What's on your watch list for the weekend?

MMM: FOTC 4UNMe!

2011-08-22T11:00:00.029-04:00

Good almost-afternoon folks. I've gotten a late start today, but hopefully it won't leave me scrambling to catch up for the rest of the week. With the fall television season starting back up, I'm starting to wonder if there will be any new shows worth watching and if my old favorites will keep me entertained. I also find myself wishing some shows would make a comeback like Jemaine and Bret's HBO series about their band, Flight of the Conchords. Since that's not happening, let's remember some of the good times.

Flight of the Conchords:

Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros

Carol Brown

Trailer Trash: The August 19th Quickie

2011-08-19T15:00:00.002-04:00

I'm sure many of you noticed last week's Trailer Trash was absent. I apologize and hope this week's proves doubly entertaining for you. August offers up another four new releases to feast our senses upon, at least that's what IMDb reports. The big question is are any of them worth watching?

Conan the Barbarian With all the sword-fighting and carnage and mayhem, you'd think I'd be chomping at the bit, whipped into an action-crazed frenzy to see Conan. I'm not really feeling this, though. The R-rating will inevitably draw me into the theater, but I guess I just prefer a Conan that speaks fewer words, wears less eye liner and uses less product.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Fright Night Colin Farrell has a knack for playing a douchebag; just check out Horrible Bosses if you need proof. You can't get more douchey than playing a vampire neighbor named Jerry who's hellbent of snacking on all your friends and family. With David Tennant and my favorite up-and-comer Anton Yelchin being pitted against the Irishman, I can't think of a single reason why I'd miss this!

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

One Day Jeez, if this film is even one-tenth as tedious as its trailer, audiences are in for one long ass day at the theater. I enjoy the more vampy Anne Hathaway from recent films like Valentine's Day and Love and Other Drugs to this dull and dowdy version. She's put her Princess Diaries days behind her and so should everyone else.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D Smell-o-Vision? That's your big selling point. It's not enough I have to wear dumbass 3D glasses to see a piss-poor film, but now I have to get whiff of a postcard during the film? Unless there's a scratch-n-sniff patch of Alba's snatch, I'm not seeing many audiences clamoring to experience this gimmick. Sad thing is, there probably is a scent patch to smell the talking dog's anus.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

And on that note, I'm calling it a week. I've got a lot of friends to catch up with, lots of movies to watch and for some reason the weekend is still only two days long! Catch ya on the flip side.

MMM: Damn Dirty Apes

2011-08-15T11:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I went to experience Rise of the Planet of the Apes and discover if all the hype was warranted. While the content of the song isn't apropos, the video is a perfect choice to honor a movie about apes running loose in the streets, fucking everyone up as they go.

The Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch

MMM: Just Dance

2011-08-08T09:00:00.027-04:00

Time to get up and get moving. The song that's going to accomplish that today is one I had intended to post months ago, but it was not available for blog sharing at the time.Good things come to those who wait, however, and it doesn't get much better than watching the lead singer of Radiohead, Thom Yorke, break it down as he croons the word to Lotus Flower. Pay attention to the 1:15 mark to see him work my favorite move of the video.

Radiohead - Lotus Flower

What are you waiting for? Just dance!

Trailer Trash: The August 5th Quickie

2011-08-05T08:30:00.005-04:00

Welcome to August stargazers! It's that transitional month between the last summer hopefuls and the beginning of the deluge of movies that didn't cut the mustard as blockbusters or award contenders. The last few weeks at the movies have been surprisingly enjoyable, but will this week's releases keep up the trend? According to IMDb that task rests upon these two releases:

The Change-Up At every turn I hear serious hate towards The Change-Up. Hell, even I was down on it when I first read the premise. Then I saw the trailers and my deep affection for the comedic talents of Jason Bateman, Ryan Reynolds and Leslie Mann overruled all sensibility. The bathroom humor will no doubt be too much, but I'm going to watch these three rise above the lowest common denominator.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Rise of the Planet of the Apes I've wrestled with my feelings for Rise. First thoughts are that it looks awesome and who doesn't love James Franco? Then again, all that crazy monkey action in the trailer might just be the last fifteen minutes of a plodding two-hour film. I took one last look at the trailer this morning and, fuck it! This is man vs. monkey and may the best primate win!

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

I still haven't gotten around to seeing Captain America, but I've got a free ticket I've been saving for just such an occasion. Since I've actually already seen The Change-Up, that should give me plenty of time to see Cap in action. What will you venture out to see this weekend?

MMM: This Place About To...

2011-08-01T09:30:00.000-04:00

Hello, hello stargazers. It's already the first day of August! Looking back over the summer, I've been disappointed with the concert offerings in my area. The few that I have attended have been awesome; I just wish there had been a couple more.

Lucky for me, the last of my must-see concerts is just around the corner. Ke-dollar sign-Ha is coming to town in just a little over a week! I still haven't bought my ticket because it may be 110 degrees like it was this time last year and this is an outdoor venue made almost entirely of concrete. Honestly, who designs an amphitheater to resemble a brick fucking oven?

My second problem is that it's been a bitch to find anyone else who wants to go. Can you believe that?! Say what you will about her music, but you can guarantee it's going to be one interesting show. It's worth the price of admission just for the people watching. So who's with me? Are you up for going insane and showing your Hanes?

Ke$ha - Blow

Not sure why, but I love that James Van Der Beek is in that video.
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Trailer Trash: The July 29th Quickie

2011-07-29T14:00:00.098-04:00

After a whirlwind weekend to Charleston for a family reunion followed by an awesome Huey Lewis & the News concert, you could say I'm more than a bit excited to have a weekend in town where I can just stretch out in the comfort of my local theater. I'll be catching up on last week's Captain America, but IMDb tells me I also have three new major releases to chose from as well. Let's have a look-see shall we?

Cowboys and Aliens I love Westerns and the new Bond, and a good alien flick isn't to be missed, but I'm not 100% sold on combining the three. I will, however, put my faith in Jon Favreau to deliver a good story with great action and a Harrison Ford that doesn't mumble-grumble most of his lines. I know I'm asking for a lot with that last request, but maybe Sam Rockwell's shuck and jive will cover up Ford's sleepacting.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Crazy, Stupid, Love With the exception of Dan in Real Life, you can't go wrong with Steve Carell as a romantic comedy lead. In fact, I couldn't ask for a more awesome cast. Regulars know of my undying affection for Julianne Moore and Emma Stone, but this even has some of my obscure faves like Liza Lapira, Julianna Guill and John Carroll Lynch. And did you see Ryan Gosling's abs? Humina, humina, humina!

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

The Smurfs Are you smurfing smurfing me?! I can't smurfing believe there's a smurfing movie about the Smurfs! I say to smurf with the Smurfs in all their 3-smurfing-D smurfness! You desmurf so much better, Hank Azaria. And Sofia Vergara, I love ogling your smurfs, but why dismurf them in a Smurfs movie?! There's no smurfing way I'll be smurfed to smurf this smurfing bull-smurf...ever!

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

As usual, in much cooler towns the movies The Devil's Double and Attack the Block will be opening. I guess I should be happy they're not here yet. It gives me plenty of time to catch up on my mainstream movies. Now I'm off to get my movie watching on!

The Hump: No. 33

2011-07-27T10:00:00.001-04:00

MMM: Cool is a Rule

2011-07-25T09:00:00.002-04:00

I can't believe it's the last week of July! Just this month, we've celebrated the Fourth, gone to a dual-faith wedding in Hartford, visited friends in NYC, spent a weekend in Charleston at our family reunion and squeezed in a bunch of movies and a couple of concerts. The most recent concert was last night at Koka Booth with one of my all-time favorite bands. It's been eight years since I've seen them last and two years since they were featured as a Monday Mood Music.

While Huey Lewis & the News do look a little grayer around the edges, they are still a must-see. Full of energy despite the humid, 100 degree weather we had. Sweat was rolling off Huey and the gang as fast as the notes flew from their instruments. Huey even had a little fun at their own expense by feigning to end the concert around an hour. After sitting in his "old man" rocker for a few moments, Huey bounced up and took requests from the audience. He also played one of his personal favorites, which is also a favorite of mine that I can now say I saw performed live. It's the third track from their third album, Sports. It was never as popular as Heart and Soul or I Want a New Drug, but it's rockin' tune nonetheless. Enjoy!

Huey Lewis & the News - Bad is Bad

Trailer Trash: The July 22nd Quickie

2011-07-22T09:30:00.036-04:00

Hey stargazers. Gotta make this one extremely quick and dirty because my ass is running hella late! IMDb says we have two major releases this week and here they is:

Captain America: The First Avenger This is my most anticipated superhero film of the summer! I expect this to be Batman Begins and/or Spider-Man level of huge. I'm worried being a period film may hurt the box office, but I'm telling you all this is the movie not to miss!

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Friends with Benefits I could make all kinds of No Strings Attached jokes here, but they've all been done. I've got mad love for Mila, but not even her smiling face can overshadow a big-screen Timberlake mug. Besdies, if I wait on the DVD, I can truly enjoy Mila in the privacy of my own home.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

That's all she wrote, folks! Have a great weekend and try to stay cool!

The Hump: No. 68

2011-07-20T18:00:00.000-04:00

MMM: Stop, Hatin' is Bad

2011-07-18T10:00:00.024-04:00

Weekend before last I was in Hartford, Connecticut for a friend's wedding. After the eight-hour event ended, we swung by the couple's after party in their suite and were surprised to find a handful of folks still going strong despite the massive quantities of food and drink consumed during the cocktail/reception half of the event.

This after party had three self-appointed DJs who continually swapped their personal iPhone playlists into the speaker system trying to one up each other. One DJ in particular will be forever ingrained in our memories. Still rocking a gray suit complete with fully cinched purple tie (remember, he'd been wearing this since at least 2pm and it was now midnight!), he never even sat down his beer as he tossed DJ #1's phone aside, plugged in his own and cued up the following tune. He then proceeded to drunkenly shuffle over to join the ladies' Flip Cup team. Oh, what a night.

The next day I told myself I wouldn't make that song a Monday Mood Music selection, but I just can't get it out of my friggin' head! I now pass along my "you had to be there" moment, complete with musical accompaniment.

Party Rock Anthem

LMFAO w/ Lauren Bennett & Goon Rock

I'm really digging the 28 Days Later spoof of the video. Fits really well with this catchy groove.
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Trailer Trash: The July 15th Quickie

2011-07-15T09:00:00.002-04:00

It feels good to be back in town for the weekend. My trip to Hartford and New York City was a blast, but I'm looking forward to doing far less walking and much more watching this weekend. Hollywood is helping me out in that regard by releasing what will surely be the biggest film of the summer. But for the few of us not interested in Harry Potter, IMDb lists another book-based major release with a slightly smaller following.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 If you haven't followed the series so far, why would you start now? If you're like me and have seen every film, why in the hell would you stop now?! It's the end of an era and, while there were several missteps along the way (*cough* Half-Blood Prince *cough*) Harry and pals are here to chew bubblegum and kick ass.... and they're all out of bubblegum!

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Winnie the Pooh and Tigger, too! And Piglet, and Rabbit and Eeyore, and so many more have returned to the big screen. I'm not exactly sure what the premise of the film is, but as per usual, it includes Pooh trying to get his honey fix, before the DTs set in. Kids, and those of us who are kids-at-heart, should find comfort in this classically animated tale.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

My weekend plan is to catch Horrible Bosses followed by Harry Potter. That should give my ass all the lazing about it'll need for the weekend.

MMM: Too Much of Something is Bad Enough

2011-07-11T09:00:00.037-04:00

Last week, the creators of Man, I Love Films, Kai and Dylan, issued their first Double Dare Challenge to one another. For the full details, you should check out their video, but the gist of it is that each one picks a really bad movie for the other to experience. It was Kai's challenge to Dylan that inspired my mood music selection. That challenge; to watch the 1998 'classic' Spice World.

I'm not ashamed to say I was a fan of the Spice Girls. I owned their albums. Heck, back when I owned VHS tapes, I owned this movie. Why not? Five hot chicks and Roger Moore. I've seen far worse movies with far less interesting casting. I think Dylan's got this in the bag and, to help get him in the mood, I have chosen a song from the soundtrack.

Spice Girls - Too Much

Dylan, you can do it! Ooh, that gives me a great idea. I think Kai deserves to suffer through Rob Schneider's The Animal for his next challenge!

Trailer Trash: The July 8th Quickie

2011-07-08T09:00:00.093-04:00

Last weekend turned out to be quite a boon for me. I got to see both Larry Crowne and Transformers 3. Surprisingly, neither was intolerable. I'm curious if this trend will continue throughout July, but given the two releases listed at IMDb for this week, I kind of doubt it.

Zookeeper I'm completely torn on this one. Usually I avoid anything with Kevin James starring like it were carrying the plague. Even by Kevin James standards, The Zookeeper looks excruciatingly painful. Without even seeing the trailer, the poster to the left is screaming at me to run the other way. Having seen what the gorilla does in the trailer, I should have already headed to the closet to find my gun and end my suffering.

Then there's the other poster;

Ah, Rosario Dawson. The power this woman has over me is undeniable. Just to give you a clue, I actually paid to see The Adventures of Pluto Nash in theaters because she was in it. Of course, this means I will go against every anti-James fiber in my being to support her. At least my money will go to help this defeat those little blue CGI abominations in Fletch's March to the Box Office Madness.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Horrible Bosses Hangover Part II and Bridesmaids have been this year's massive comedic disappointments, but I'm willing to wager this Strangers on a Train a.k.a. Throw Momma From the Train rehash will restore my faith in the gut-busting comedy. Bateman could use a solid hit and it's about time audiences embraced the funny Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis are dishin' out.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

If anyone would like to convince me not to go suffer through The Zoopkeeper, by all means, stop me from the madness!

MMM: You Gon Make Me Clutch My Pearls

2011-07-04T09:30:00.028-04:00

Happy Fourth of July! I hope everyone is having a great holiday. I took this weekend as an opportunity to start watching a television series everyone has been chastising me for not watching sooner; True Blood. I've seen the first four episodes so far and I'm interested, but not yet a hardcore fan. One friend tells me it's the greatest series ever, but TB has a long way to go to topple Justified from that spot.

In honor of my latest TV addiction, this week's selection is the show's theme song. Nothing sets the mood for fangbanging and vampire mayhem quite like this tune.

Jace Everett - Bad Things

Trailer Trash: The July 1st Quickie

2011-07-01T11:00:00.078-04:00

According to IMDb, one film already has a jumpstart on the Fourth of July weekend and it's two competitors. I use the word 'competitor' lightly considering this weekend's releases appeal to vastly different moviegoers. Take a look and see which is my, and your, cup of tea.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon After that God-awful piece of trash Bay, LaBeouf and Fox shat out of their collective asses in 2009, you'd think I'd give this latest travesty a wide berth. Especially since this third installment has been bloated beyond the two-and-a-half hour mark (it's called editing, try it sometime). Still, it's giant robots wrecking shit and I for one desperately hope Optimus Prime will squash Sam and his latest ho-cake underfoot.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Larry Crowne His turn as Robert Langdon notwithstanding, Tom Hanks is about as reliable a movie star as you can watch. I expect his turn in Larry Crowne to not only shine brightly at the summer box office, but also lift Julia Roberts out of her 2010 slump. Word on the streets isn't all that positive, but my guess is his Average Joe appeal will win over the masses despite what any critics say.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Monte Carlo

Meh.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Whether you venture to the theater or not, here's to a Happy Fourth of July weekend!

MMM: What Say You?

2011-06-27T09:30:00.000-04:00

This Monday's Mood Music comes with a question. Last week me and a guest won tickets to see Dinosaur Jr. Yay me, right? Except it's in Carrboro which is a bit of a haul for me, especially on a Monday night when work will come all too early Tuesday. They've put me "on the list" which is just sounds cool, but it also means I can't sell or pass my tickets off to someone else. Perhaps most important is that I've never really followed Dinosaur Jr. so I'd be the noob amid a sea of hardcore fans.

I put it to my readers, should I stay home and finish my latest Man I Love Films post, or do I go out and party like it's 1989? To help you decide, here's one of their more popular jams:

Dinosaur Jr. - Feel the Pain

Trailer Trash: The June 24th Quickie

2011-06-24T09:45:00.056-04:00

Today's session is going to be short and sweet, stargazers. I've spent way too much time at my PC this week and my clicky-finger feels like it is about to break off. Even now I am trying to type minus a digit and it no goes so well. But you're here to discuss this week's new releases, not my ailments . IMDb has a bullwad of films opening this week, but only two really matter in the scheme of things and they are...

Cars 2 Pixar's black sheep, Cars was better than I expected, but seeing the trailer for Cars 2, I can't imagine a sequel being much worse. McQueen and Mater as international secret agents? Not one, but two, scenes of bathroom humor just in the trailer? Carl's rolling over in his grave and Woody & Company are wishing they'd stayed in the incinerator right about now.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Bad Teacher Examining the poster, it appears Cameron Diaz is having a freak-nasty affair with a student. The trailer proves my perverted mind wrong, however, because she's nothing more than a bitter pill looking for a free ride. The only thing about this by-the-numbers plot that is inspired is the inclusion of Phyllis "Phyllis Vance" Smith. For her, I'd give this a chance at the cheap theater.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

This is going to be a great weekend to catch up on some more cultured flicks (Midnight in Paris, here I come). If you venture out to either of these, best of luck to you!

MMM: Say It Together

2011-06-20T09:00:00.024-04:00

It's been a while since I've done a birthday shout-out in the Monday Mood Music and today's is for one of my iconic favorites. I had a wealth of songs in Lionel Richie's catalog to chose from, especially if you include his hits from his days in the Commodores. It was a tough choice to pick just one, but since my last few selections have been peppy, I decided to go in a different direction to honor Mr. Richie on his 62nd birthday.

Not only was this song #1 on the Billboard charts, but it won Richie a Golden Globe and an Oscar for Best Original Song for it's inclusion in the movie, White Nights. Not too shabby considering the stiff competition Richie was up against in both categories, including himself for co-writing a song for The Color Purple! Happy birthday to one of the most talented songwriters out there!

Lionel Richie - Say You, Say Me

Trailer Trash: The June 17th Quickie

2011-06-17T13:00:00.078-04:00

This weekend will mark my official catch-up to the summer season. With X-Men: First Class out of the way, I can now see what all the hype surrounding Super 8 is about and then onto this weekend's offerings. According to IMDb we've got another new superhero and another kiddie flick, but are either worth watching?

Green Lantern If I were a lion, this would be the thorn irritating the piss out of me. For the few who don't know, I'm not keen on a GL movie; I'd much prefer an ongoing TV series to better explain the characters of the Lantern universe. Even so, I'm curious to see how Reynold's wields the Green Lantern's Light. The comic nerd in me is skeptical of his ring-generated Gatling gun in the trailer, but I'll wait to see it in context.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Mr. Popper's Penguins Funny how I mentioned Ms. Gugino when discussing last week's Judy Moody movie and here she is opposite Carrey and his flock. She's not the only reason I'm interested in this, Popper actually looks like silly fun. I'm surprised Disney hasn't tapped Carrey for a live adaptation of Goofy (forget I said that!). I won't run out to see this, but a hot day and cool penguins sounds like a nice combination.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Not much else exciting on the new release front. There's a limited release of The Art of Getting By opening here, but not sure what to think of it. Any of stargazers have any insight into it?

MMM: Spare Me Your Freaking Dirty Looks

2011-06-13T09:30:00.019-04:00

I don't usually play two songs from the same artist within such a short time, but I'm as stoked about tomorrow's big concert as the day I bought my tickets. However, I appear to be the only one of my friends who cares for Ms. Perry's music. Whatevs. It's going to be a great concert and I've got crazy awesome seats, so they can all be jealous when they find out what they missed out on! Right now I'm listening to her first album to get in the mood. Here's a little taste:

Katy Perry - Waking Up In Vegas

Trailer Trash: The June 10th Quickie

2011-06-10T11:00:00.004-04:00

Going into this weekend, I'm somewhat behind on my summer fare. I need to see X-Men: First Class which is apparently the bee's knees. I'll be the judge of that. While I play catch up, the rest of you may be interested in the two major releases IMDb has opening today.

Super 8 Yay, it's here! I have been waiting for months for all these mysterious, mindfuck trailers to end. By my standards, less is more with trailers, but the gimmicky feel of these has nearly soured my excitement for the film. Abrams wants to be the next Spielberg so bad it hurts, I just hope the secretive plot of his latest project isn't too painful to watch.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer This is SO not marketed to me. The trailer is one spastic, sugar-fueled flurry of children running circles around their red-haired heroine. I hoped Heather Graham's appearance might pique my interest, but sadly she doesn't have a level of hold over me like Carla Gugino does. If you've got rowdy children or enjoy sitting in a theater full of them, by all means, take my seat.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Hobo with a Shotgun is playing in my area this weekend, so Super 8 will have to wait a week while a catch some 'quality' cinema. Those who follow my posts over at the MILF, know I can't deny Rutger Hauer his props.

MMM: Today I Buy No Sorrows

2011-06-06T08:30:00.039-04:00

G'day friends! I hope you had a nice weekend. Mine was bittersweet. I took off work all of last week to take care of some home projects and decompress. While I got a lot accomplished and felt very relaxed, the return to the daily routine began looming over me during the weekend, ruining my mellow. C'est la vie.

Though I had the radio blaring all weekend, no one particular song stuck with me. Luckily, The Big Lebowski is always there. You're probably not in your car reading this, but start banging on your desk.

Creedence Clearwater Revival -

Looking Out My Back Door

Trailer Trash: The June 3rd Quickie

2011-06-03T08:15:00.006-04:00

Good morning, stargazers. Seems like every Monday I begin with the intention of posting new reviews, but every Friday I've only had time to get to the Trailer Trash. This week is different. For those that don't know, I'm now an official MILF contributor! It's not what you think. MILF, or Man I Love Films if you're not into the whole brevity thing, is the cinematic lovechild of Dylan and Kai, or something like that. Their baby is growing pretty fast, so if you don't stop and look at it, you might just miss it. Naturally, a good place to start is with my Tuesday Vault review of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

FYI, Lock, Stock was produced by Matthew Vaughn who just so happens to be the director and co-writer of this weekend's only major release. As usual, you can check IMDb if you don't believe me. Now let's take a look at June's first big opener.

X-Men: First Class Or as I like to refer to it, X-Men Origins: Mystique is the fifth installment of the X-Men franchise. It's actually about the origins of Xavier's school, but the commercials seem more intent to push Jennifer Lawrence's blond haired/blue-skinned sex appeal and who can blame them? The remaining clips make it seem rather blah and after Vaughn's lackluster Kick-Ass adaptation, I'm hesitant to open my wallet.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Luckily for me, I'm off to HeroesCon to rub elbows with other comic fiends where I'm sure we'll be chatting about this and the other summer superhero fare. Catch you on the flipside.

MMM: A Victim of Circumstance

2011-05-30T09:00:00.048-04:00

All of my television series have FINALLY drawn to a close. (Was it just me, or did shows just not want to end this year?!) As much as I am glad to see them go, I am starting to feel a bit of an ache for one or two quality shows to watch in the evening. Thankfully, Roku and Netflix are here to comfort me when I need a quick fix.

I'm currently catching up on The Office, but I'm hoping to enjoy some of my old school favorites this summer. One favorite of mine that needs to be available for instant viewing but isn't is Bosom Buddies. It only aired two seasons, but I remember loving it and would love to see how it holds up. FYI, this was the show that launched the career of Tom Hanks. So this summer when you buy your ticket to his latest megahit, Larry Crowne, just think about how far he has come.

Billy Joel - My Life - Bosom Buddies Theme

Billy Joel wrote My Life, the Bosom Buddies theme, but his version was never used for the show. Now you know. Hope you have a good Memorial Day.

Trailer Trash: The May 27th Quickie

2011-05-27T08:45:00.009-04:00

How can you tell it's the summer movie season? When the new releases are nothing but sequels. Such is the case this weekend according to IMDb. One new release was so anxious to make huge box office strides that it opened yesterday. For those of us not headed out of town for the Memorial Day weekend or not celebrating it, here's what the theaters will have to offer:

The Hangover Part II The trailers are brief, hitting us with quick comedy jabs. They only reveal is the wolfpack is at it again; but this time the bride-to-be's brother is MIA. Will this be as funny as the first? Unlikely. Do I, or anyone else, care? Hell no. If this is a stinker, we can only blame ourselves for the huge opening box office that'll solidify the 2013 release of The Hangover Part III: The Hangovering.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Kung Fu Panda 2 I'm in the minority of people who felt Kung Fu Panda was far more enjoyable than it's summer rival, Wall-E. That doesn't mean I wanted a sequel and, like The Hangover Part II, I doubt this will spark the fuzzy, childlike glee like the first did. Unlike HO2, I can wait to find out. My reason? Next time skip the promos showcasing the voice actors, no one cares.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Whether you're at the beach or the movies, I hope everyone has a great Memorial Day weekend.

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MMM: Obvious Really

2011-05-23T09:30:00.013-04:00

Being that I am the bigger-than-average little monster that I am, I had to celebrate the release of Gaga's new album today. And what better way to do that than to go back to the song where it all began. She's come so far so fast, hasn't she?

Lady Gaga - Just Dance

For those who don't watch SNL, Gaga performed in a digital short alongside Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg. It's no Dick in a Box, but it's worth watching.

Trailer Trash: The May 20th Quickie

2011-05-20T14:00:00.000-04:00

If you didn't already know, there's only one major release this weekend so there's not many options for those of you hungry for only the latest and greatest (check IMDb if you don't believe me). It'll be interesting to see if the lack of competition helps or hurts the latest adventure for Captain Jack Sparrow. The real question is, who among us will be going to see it?

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Despite the previous trilogy growing increasingly worse with each installment, the trailers make me confident part IV can only be an improvement. After all, less is more and with no Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley that leaves more time for Capn' Jack and Barbossa to ham it up. I'm thinking Ian McShane's Blackbeard will also be chewing up the scenery. I just hope there's a decent story, or cool action, to tie the three together.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

I guess if you're not into pirates, you can save your pennies for the next big action release. I believe that's X-Men, a movie about a rag tag bunch of freaks darting over the globe in a ship. Happy viewing!

MMM: On the Prowl

2011-05-16T09:15:00.003-04:00

If only all my days could start off so well. Pulling out the drive this morning, this groovy, gloomy diddy came on my favorite local station. It's a song I hadn't heard in a while so I thought I'd give it some airplay today.

It's the title track from the debut album of singer-songwriter Karen Elson; former model and wife of Jack White. The album was released in May of last year, so it's kind of fitting I chose to play this on it's anniversary, as it were. I really dig the psychedelic 60's vibe and I hope you will too!

Karen Elson - The Ghost Who Walks

<p>&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;gt;This</p>
Now I'm off to experience this day continue to plummet downhill. Is it possible to have a case of the Mondays, everyday?

Trailer Trash: The May 13th Quickie

2011-05-13T11:00:00.034-04:00

Good morning stargazers. This one’s going to have to be short and sweet. Well, after looking at this week’s release, probably more bitter. As IMDb lists it, there are only two new releases to choose from. Let’s take a closer look:

Bridesmaids I've always been a fan of Maya Rudolph, and while I don't think Kristen Wiig is God's gift to comedy, I do find her SNL skits funny more often than not. However, every Bridesmaids trailer has ranged from barely funny to not at all, yet it's being hyped as the second coming of comedy. Granted, some comedies are hilarious despite unfunny trailers, but I'm skeptical this will be one of them.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Priest Honestly, I've never been all that impressed with any of the Priest trailers. I think the story will probably be muddled in a sea of 3D shenanigans and Paul Bettany will have to keep slumming in poorly crafted sci-fi films a little longer. But I fear the only way to get the images burned into my mind by the bazillion trailers I've seen can only be exorcized by buying a ticket to this disappointment.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

I guess since its Friday the 13^th, we couldn’t be lucky enough to get any films worth lining up for. At least Thor was pretty good, so you’ve got some options. Have a good one!

MMM: Coolest Bandname in Recent Memory

2011-05-09T09:00:00.004-04:00

I first experienced this week's artist when they opened for Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings last year. They were groovy and really got the crowd amped for the amazing energy of Sharon Jones. We even picked up the CD after the show to add to our collection.

After that, unless they popped up during an occasional Pod shuffle, I had pretty much forgotten about them. Not to any fault of their own; just I have bouts where I buy too much new music at once and some of it inevitable gets lost in the frenzy. Thankfully, I was reminded of them when VH1 finally caught up with the times and started airing their latest video. Now it's my time turn to show some love:

Fitz and the Tantrums - Moneygrabber

Anyone else ever seen these folks in concert? What did you think?

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Trailer Trash: The May 6th Quickie

2011-05-06T09:00:00.127-04:00

May looks like it is not only bringing warmer weather, but it may have also brought us some interesting cinematic fare. It's either that or all the Vitamin D from these past few sunny days have made me more amicable and agreeable. This week offers up three major releases and I lost count of the limited releases listed on IMDb. On an interesting side note, Mel Gibson's new movie, The Beaver, opens in select cities this weekend. Remember when he used to dominate the summer box office? Yeah, me too.

Moving on...

Thor Of all the summer comic movies, Thor isn't at the top of my list, but my gut is telling me it'll surprise me just as Iron Man did. Granted Chris Hemsworth doesn't seem to have the charisma of Robert Downey, Jr., but so few do. Maybe I've got too much faith in Kenneth Branagh's direction, but Marvel has too much invested in their Avengers saga to make another Hulk-sized misstep.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Something Borrowed Those who know me, know Kate Hudson is in my top 3 actresses I'd prefer to never see in in a movie. Ginnifer Goodwin, however, has been on both my actresses-to-watch and oh-so-cute lists ever since Tad Hamilton and I've got to support her first lead role. I'd prefer to see her in a movie where the poster isn't a generic piece of shit and the trailers don't give away every detail, but what can you do?

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Jumping the Broom Any film whose trailer opens with Paula Patton in lacy lingerie already has one point in its favor. Also all audiences need to be reminded that black movies can be made without the taint of Ice Cube or Tyler Perry. From a story standpoint, it doesn't look revelational, but I'm willing to give such a good cast the chance to impress.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Hobo with a Shotgun (limited) Rutger Hauer. Is. A. Hobo. With a. Shotgun. Why would I not want to see this?! It's going to be like Blind Fury except this time Rutger's not blind, and instead of kicking ass with a sword, he's shooting up folks with a shotgun! I especially like the insane, drug-enhanced Death Wish 3 vibe the villains give off. Can't wait to see Hauer mow them all over...
with his shotgun.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Unfortunately, Hobo With A Shotgun isn't playing in my area. If anyone gets the chance to see it, don't rub it too much. Besides, I hear it'll be on DVD soon so I guess I can make due with renting it. Have a good one!

MMM: New Month, New Group

2011-05-02T13:00:00.001-04:00

It's one of those days, stargazers. I don't have much time to intro this week's selection, but honestly I don't know enough about the group anyways. I do know they hail from Detroit and I really like this song. It was the jam on my local station a few months back, but it hasn't gotten a lot of play recently. This is my attempt to bring Jessica Hernandez & The Deltas back to the area.

Jessica Hernandez & the Deltas - In The City

Got anyone up and coming artist you want everyone to know about? Tell me about them!
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Box Office Madness Breakdown, Part 1

2011-04-29T14:00:00.188-04:00

Ever since I submitted my picks for Fletch's March to Box Office Madness 2011, I've been a bit obsessive about my progress. One could say I've gone 'mad' thinking about it. (Sorry, couldn't resist). This weekend marks a special milestone in the competition; the first official battle begins! That match-up is Scream 4 versus Fast Five. As the Iron Chef Chariman would shout, Battle: Needless Sequels! In honor of the official kick start to the action, I thought I'd take a minute to review why I selected my picks for Region A. My full bracket can be found here. Here's a complete list of the Region A contenders:

4. Scream 4 vs.5. Fast Five: With the waning of horror movies this past year, my guess is that Scream 4 was too little, too late to board the reboot-rejuvenate train. It did worry me that even the excruciating third installment managed to rake in a 90 million domestic dollars over ten years ago, but assuming most Scream fans are now too busy taking their chits to Rio, it's a safe bet part 4 will be lucky to match that decade-old figure.

Conversely, the Fast franchise has some sort of strange hold over audiences. Every installment featuring either Walker or Diesel has grossed $125-$150 million. Considering action flicks like Hanna and Source Code have (hopefully) run their course with the testosterone hungry man-boy crowd by Fast Five's opening weekend and your left with action audiences starved for fast cars, fast women and things that go boom. Sayonara Ghostface!

3. Green Lantern vs. 6. Larry Crowne: This was the most difficult match-up in the region. First off, Green Lantern looks like a luke-warm pig anus. Also, GL is a second-tier DC character with an insanely complex history that probably won't translate to the big screen. I have always thought it'd play much better as an ongoing TV series and my guess is the movie will prove me right. All that said, GL is still a superhero movie, and even a flop of a hero flick can pull in over $180 million. This earns anything over $200 million and execs at DC should publicly thank the American population for being such suckers.

Larry Crowne is a perfect storm of counter-blockbuster programming. Box office golden boy Tom Hanks playing an unemployed Average Joe trying to better himself via community college speaks to a broad audience. Throw in Julia Roberts as a love interest with a script by Greek Wedding writer Nia Vardalos and watch this puppy churn out a steady box office profit for months. It should reach $150 million without breaking a sweat, but I'm hoping the magnitude of suck of Green Lantern won't succumb to the inherent charisma of Larry Crowne.

2. X-Men: First Class vs. 7. Hanna: The X-Men franchise has been on a steady decline since Singer walked away from the helm back in 2006. Personally, I'm X-Men'd the fuck out and, aside from seeing how hot Jennifer Lawrence and January Jones look in their costumes, could care less about seeing this. Lame posters and trailers aren't helping their case, so I expect the franchise decline to continue landing them around the same $180 million as Green Lantern.

Hanna looked awesome from the trailers and having now seen it, can attest that it is. Still, the average American can't get down with a child slitting throats and snapping necks, so my guess is it will do good to creep over $50 million and thus lose to First Class.

2. X-Men: First Class vs. 3. Green Lantern: The two Region A superhero flicks will square off in Round 2 and, based on my estimates, have competitive box office numbers. At this point it's really a coin toss, but I gave the edge to Green Lantern for two reasons; freshness and core youth. It's a superhero that hasn't been run into the ground unlike the fifth installment of X-Men and will at least have that new movie smell to it. Also, so many kids and man-boys watched the Justice League animated series over the past decade that Green Lantern, at least the John Stewart version, should entice them out to theaters.

1. Harry Potter 7.2 vs. 5. Fast Five vs. 8. The Change-Up vs. 3. Green Lantern: This is a no-brainer. HP7.1 grossed nearly $300 million in domestic box office last year. That's the core audience who've stuck with the series for the duration and will also wrap things up in theaters. I wouldn't expect many new viewers at this point. The crazy long run-time will cut into the profits, but figure a slightly higher gross than last year to wrap the series.

There was no trailer available for The Change-Up before bracket submissions were due, but I can't see a body-switching comedy having Hangover magnitude appeal so, go Harry! As I mentioned earlier, Fast Five should cruise in to the tune of $150 million, but that's still less than half the horsepower Harry has. And spoilers people, but Voldemort with all his dark magic could never defeat Harry Potter, so what chance could Green Lantern and his silly little power ring possibly have?

There you have it; my thinking on how this region of March to Box Office Madness 2011 will play out. Agree? Disagree? I'd love to hear your take!

I intend to update my brackets weekly to keep myself and y'all abreast of my standings. The goal is to reclaim my previous glory. In between the weekly updates I will breakdown the remaining regions, so stay tuned for more madness!
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Trailer Trash: The April 29th Quickie

2011-04-29T09:00:00.137-04:00

April is at an end and that means the summer movies are right around the corner. Remember when the big blockbusters actually didn't open until June, or at least Memorial Day? Thems were the days. For today IMDb reports there are three new releases. I've also added one of this week's limited films into my analysis, one which opens here today and that I've been anxiously awaiting. Let's take a look, shall we?

Fast Five "Why'd you drag us halfway around the world?"
"Cuz we got a job."
And that's starring in the only franchise that'll have any of you. Diesel's dialogue delivery looks more excruciating than ever, but name one person who has seen the trailer and doesn't want to know how that Thelma & Louise car jump ends? I also want to see if anyone can pry that rabid chinchilla from The Rock's face.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Prom This looks to be the most inoffensive, agreeable, coming-of-age film imaginable. I'm sure it will be a pleasant movie-going experience, although it would be equally enjoyable watching it where it belongs; the Disney channel. I'd never intentionally seek out Prom, but I doubt it'd make me divulge my darkest secrets, or the contents of my stomach, if forced to watch it.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil It's amazing the crap that spawns sequels nowadays. I've seen stick figure animation that looks a thousand times better. Even worse, it plays like a Kill Bill rip-off with bathroom humor and crotch-kicking filling in the gaps where a decent, kid-friendly story should be.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night I didn't realize this is based on a comic book, but what isn't lately? Dylan Dog looks like Blade with a little more tongue-in-cheek humor. I'm glad Brandon Routh is back, front and center, on the big screen. He's a good actor who doesn't deserve the stigma Superman Returns earned him. Can't wait to see him lay the smack down on some creatures of the night.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Today's not over yet. If I have my ducks in a row like I think I do, expect another post. If I, somehow, turn into my usual slack self, enjoy your weekend!

Take My Advice

2011-04-28T10:25:00.081-04:00

Source Code

Release: 04.01.11
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 33 minutes

See It, Take a Friend, Buy the DVD!

Captain Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal, Jarhead) awakes on a Chicago commuter train opposite Christina (Michelle Monaghan, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang) who has mistaken him as her friend, Sean. After several confusing minutes, the train explodes and Stevens once again awakes; this time in some sort of military issue simulator.

Captain Colleen Goodwin (Vera Farmiga, The Departed) explains to Stevens he is part of the Source Code, a program wherein he can relive the last eight minutes of a person's life. His mission, which he's apparently chosen to accept, is to find the train bomber before he strikes again within the Chicago limits.

Jake hasn't had the best track record on the road to becoming an action star, but Source Code helps him turn that corner. Blending action a touch of mind-bending sci-fi, Jake seems more in his comfort zone. Jake also brings a level of emotional frustration to the role that may have been lacking with a run-of-the-mill action brute.

It was good seeing Jeffrey Wright (Casino Royale) in the acting saddle once again; his absence on the big screen has been noticeable these last few years. Farmiga plays his subordinate tasked to keep Stevens on task. She is excellent at conveying the stress and inner conflict Goodwin experiences in her position.

Source Code is an excellent piece of storytelling by writer Ben Ripley (Species III) and director Duncan Jones (Moon). Jones proves with his sophomore motion picture that it's only a matter of time he'll be getting nominated and awarded Golden Globes and Oscars.

Although the story could have been repetitive and tedious given it's premise, editing and pacing keep tensions high with each of Stevens' returns. More importantly, the sci-fi thread of the story avoids losing its audience amid a wash of scientific mumbo jumbo. It instead focuses on the emotional turmoil inflicted upon Stevens and the urgency of the impending terrorist attack.

When the mumbo jumbo becomes unavoidable, that's when the deft of director and writer raise Source Code from mediocre to must-see. Much like Moon, this may go overlooked by the masses, but it is one that you'd do yourself a disservice to miss.

MMM: What Is Music Like?

2011-04-25T09:00:00.002-04:00

I hope everyone had a good Easter weekend. Mine was nice except I realized we're nearly at the end of April! Fingers crossed May will move a little slower; yet even as I write that statement, I know it won't be so. If we want to enjoy what lies ahead, you'll just have to make the effort yourself. It's like Ferris always says, "life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Thanks to Fletch over at Blog Cabins, one thing I didn't miss out on was seeing Hanna in theaters. Movies like this remind me I need to slow down and tout how good they are. One thing that makes Hanna such a good film is how well the soundtrack by The Chemical Brothers works with the scenes. While you wait for my review, why not enjoy an awesome clip from Hanna set to one of the brothers' block rockin' beats.

The Chemical Brothers - Escape 700

(from the Hanna Soundtrack)

Hanna Clip by teasertrailer

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Trailer Trash: The April 22nd Quickie

2011-04-22T09:30:00.001-04:00

Morning stargazers. Another week has flown by and I've got a million things to do today, and the whole Easter weekend. Thankfully, it's another craptacular weekend of new releases so I don't have to try and squeeze in a movie along the way; at least not one of these. However, for those of you looking to check out the latest and 'greatest' Hollywood has to offer, here's what IMDb says is newly available.

Madea's Big Happy Family you folks should know my attitude towards Tyler Perry's movies by now. If this insipid trailer doesn't stop you, maybe the swath of silly spoof posters they made should. Happy Family may strive to be a new low for Perry, just as a way to prove even total shit can make big bank at the box office. Trust us, TP, they're are a plethora of examples out there already, several of them yours.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Water for Elephants Not dying to see this, but you won't have to drag me into a theater as if it were a Tyler Perry movie. The always charismatic Reese looks to be on her game. Pattinson needs a movie to pry him from the Twilight franchise. No need to wind up like Vin Diesel, grasping onto the only popular series he has a decade down the road. Walsh needs anything to make fans remember why we love to hate his villains, before the stench of Green Hornet spreads to DVD.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

African Cats Disney has a hard road to profit from their nature series this year, what with Morgan Freeman hocking orphaned orangutans and elephants in Born to be Wild. To their favor, Sam Jackson is their narrator. But as much as I'd like to hear him shout things like , "the mother-fuckin' lion is the fuckin' king of the mutha-fuckin' jungle, " or "that damn cheetah is one fast-ass, mother-fuckin' cat," I don't see that happening, which is a mutha-fuckin' shame.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Hate to slam and run, but I've gots to get to getting. Have a great weekend and, for those to which it applies, Happy Easter!
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MMM: Keeps Me Searching

2011-04-18T09:30:00.000-04:00

It's been an insane weekend here in North Carolina. If you've seen the news you've heard about the crazy weather. Outside of being caught on the road by a torrential downpour of rain and hail on Saturday afternoon, it wasn't too bad in my area of the county.

Before the rains came, I was able to mark another performer off my "Artists to See in Concert Before They Die" list. At 65, Neil Young still rocks. His set list contained seventeen songs, six of which are from his latest album, Le Noise. Here's the detailed list:

My My, Hey Hey (Out Of The Blue)

Tell Me Why

Helpless

You Never Call

Peaceful Valley Boulevard

Love And War

Down By The River

Hitchhiker

Ohio

Sign Of Love

Leia

After The Gold Rush

I Believe In You

Rumblin'

Cortez The Killer

Cinnamon Girl

Walk With Me

Seeing as how I was there to hear his hits, I wasn't as enthused by his new stuff. Not that it wasn't good, but sometimes you just want the classics. Of all his hits, there was one song I wish he had performed. I'm sure Neil is tired of playing it and was glad to have a tour without it. For today's mood music selection, I want to take you back forty years to April 1971 when this tune was fresh on Neil's mind.

Neil Young - Heart of Gold

Trailer Trash: The April 15th Quickie

2011-04-15T11:00:00.090-04:00

Yay me! I'm back with a Trailer Trash. I hate I didn't get my shit together to post one these past two weeks. At least there were a few movies worth talking about, unlike this weekend. According to IMDb, we've got two major releases this weekend, and my area is getting Redford's latest film, The Conspirator, currently a limited release. Let's take a closer look.

Scream 4 As the interest in mainstream horror continues to wane, the last of the popular slasher franchises takes a stab (pun intended) at snatching coin from anyone nostalgic enough to care. However, there's little in the trailer to interest non-fans to see this and, considering I was never a fan, this can go into the nether regions of my NFQ alongside Scream 3.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Rio The first in a long line of animated summer entertainment for the kiddies. While this 'Nemo of the Skies' doesn't look as painful as the upcoming Cars 2 or that God awful Smurfs movie, I'll satisfy my jones for bright colors and silly animals when Kung Fu Panda 2 releases next month. You should do yourself and your kids a favor and do likewise.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

The Conspirator Redford's latest project promises thrilling political intrigue and, for those of us who eked through American history, surprises about the Lincoln assassination. Much like in high school, I'm not sure I'm up for being edumacated this weekend, so I'll pass until I get the buzz about the film from one of my fellow stargazers.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

I'm actually glad this weekend's releases are so sucky. My local second run theater has all the mildly appealing movies of February and March; Drive Angry, Hall Pass, Take Me Home Tonight all for a $1.50 a pop. Sure, the hallways smell of urine and several of the seats are roped off with caution tape, but that's just what we call character, baby.

MMM: Why Try Anything?

2011-04-11T09:30:00.000-04:00

I first caught wind on this group sometime last year and had honestly forgotten about them. Thankfully, their latest single now reminds me to give them a closer listen. Two Door Cinema Club, a name derived from a mispronunciation of a local cinema on the part of member Sam Halliday, is a group of Irish lads doing the indie rock thing. Undercover Martyn was the song I heard from them last year and worth the listen if you're looking for more.

There is something oddly soothing about the video for their latest single, What You Know. Is it the plain white background or the placement of random things surrounding the band? Maybe it's the bopping and swaying of the choreography or the sway of those four dancers' ponytails that clears my head for three plus minutes. Either way, there is a symmetry that lulls my usually multi-tasking brain into a state of calm. And that's a good place to start the week from. I hope it does the same for you.

Two Door Cinema Club - What You Know

MMM: Headed South

2011-04-04T09:30:00.001-04:00

Sorry for the lack of a Trailer Trash last week, but I had to leave for Jacksonville, Florida on Friday morning and my unorganized self didn't blog ahead. I have faith you were able to avoid Hop and Insidious without my coaxing.

At one point in Jacksonville, the radio sent me a blast from my past. As the Miami Vice theme coursed through the speakers, my first thought was why the show hasn't been revived a la Hawaii 5-0 or V. Then I remembered we have Burn Notice so who needs a revamp of Miami Vice? Besides the networks would only screw up a revival much like they did with Hawaii 5-0 and V.

Within the first few notes a field of charging flamingos, the ocean waves, and bronze bodies fill my mind. The introduction to Miami Vice made you want to call your travel agent and book the next flight out. Seeing the drug busts erupt into a hail of gunfire amid a cloud of cocaine dust made you call the agent back and cancel that reservation. Hammer's racing groove still makes Miami feel like the place to be. With spring upon us, what better song is there to kickstart our summer vacation planning?

Jan Hammer - Miami Vice Theme

If only Jacksonville had a great theme, maybe we would have stayed more than a day.
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The Hump: No. 60

2011-03-30T10:00:00.001-04:00

Suckiest Punch

2011-03-28T17:30:00.001-04:00

Sucker Punch

Release: 03.25.11
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 49 minutes

A Netflix Night

After her mother's death, a young woman (Emily Browning, The Uninvited) is carted off to a mental institution by her stepfather. Once there, Baby Doll imagines she and her fellow inmates are being held captive in some sort of brothel/halfway house for runaway girls. The headliner, Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish, Limitless), doesn't take to Baby Doll the way her sister Rocket (Jena Malone, The Ruins) does. When Amber (Jamie Chung, Dragonball: Evolution) and Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens, Bandslam) hear Baby Doll has a plan to escape before the High Roller (Jon Hamm, The Town) arrives in five days, Sweet Pea reluctantly joins them. For her plan to work, the women have to procure four items from their captor Blue (Oscar Isaac, Robin Hood) and his men, which they do while Baby Doll mesmerizes them with her dancing. As Baby Doll sways to the music, she dreams she and the girls are instructed by a Wise Man (Scott Glenn, Training Day) to conquer a series of nightmarish realms to retrieve these precious items.

Well.

That was kinda shit.

I never expected Sucker Punch to be revolutionary, but I didn't anticipate wanting to repeatedly punch myself in the face for paying to see it. I defended director Zack Snyder (Dawn of the Dead) for both 300 and Watchmen. Save for that one excruciatingly ridiculous Hallelujah sex scene, Watchmen was a pretty awesome film. Sucker Punch, however, felt like I was watching that scene on a continuous loop. Also, weeeee... dooooon't... neeeeed... tooooo... seeeeee... evvvvv... errrrry... scennnnne... annnnnd... pllllllot... poooooint... innnnn... slooooow... mooooo... tionnnnnn. Baby Doll explains to her sisters-in-satin that she needs to acquire a map, fire, a knife and a key to escape so why bother telegraphing their importance to audiences using slow motion? Maybe Snyder thought viewers are too dense to follow his needlessly complex story.

Sucker Punch has about as much substance as Baby Doll's skirt has cloth. It's all sex appeal and style, which at first promising, loses its awe rapidly. The monstrous creations Baby and Co. face are inspired and suitably menacing. By the third nightmare sequence, the hail of slow-motion bullets into yet another throng of disposable, faceless combatants becomes tedious. All of these dazzling visuals are accompanied by a rocking soundtrack, but the combination of music and explosions are mind-numbing and, at my theater, nearly deafening.

Poor Emily Browning. She alternates between kicking ass and staring into space wishing for a better-written character. I feel sorriest for Abbie Cornish who now has to list this film on her resume. To her favor, she is the only girl given any significantly emotional scenes and she nails them. I'm glad Jena Malone, Carla Gugino and Scott Glenn are working, but they deserve better roles. Glenn's Wise Man stands around spouting cliches. Snyder should have hired Baz Luhrmann to advise the girls to wear sunscreen; it would have been just as effective.

Dirty Undies

I should give Sucker Punch credit for giving audiences five smokin' hot heroines, but even that backfires. Seeing sexy, supple hotties wearing fishnets and thigh-high stockings with outfits that would make strippers blush should sprout a rainforest's worth of wood in theaters across the country. However, the slow-motion barrage of battles, which devolve into Baby repeatedly relying on cool gymnastics and swordplay is enough to wish to never see pigtails and a slutty sailor's suit ever again.

Baby Doll's first battle against the giant samurai is thrilling as is the rush-through-the-trenches sequence that follows. Snyder's use of exploding light and escaping steam to limit the bloodshed is clever, but had he wanted this film to have better theatrical legs, it needed to be rated R. And, by the by, why does Sweet Pea carry a sword if she never fucking uses it?!

The Money Shot
Zack Snyder has said, "It's difficult to find a movie that feels true to itself. You feel the hand of Hollywood, the moviemaking by committee, on everything." Yes, a good amount of Hollywood fare is by-committee bullshit, but you, sir, needed others to keep your ego in check with Sucker Punch. If it were up to me, I'd snatch Superman: Man of Steel out from Snyder's hands without hesitation. I guess the announcement that Amy Adams will play Lois Lane conveniently overshadows this colossal fuck up.
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MMM: I'd Watch That For a Dollar

2011-03-28T09:00:00.001-04:00

Can you believe March is drawing to a close? I had such high hopes for the month, and unless I can somehow wave a magic wand; it looks like April is going to be doubly-packed with to dos. It's also in the 30s and sleeting today, so not much incentive to turn over a productive leaf.

It is good movie-watching weather. I watched three films over the weekend, none of which blew me away and at least one of which just blew. More on that later. I really dug the music in Limitless; this week's selection is from the soundtrack. Ironically, the music video from the Ohio-born blues duo of Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney, aka The Black Keys, is itself a short film along the lines of Machete and El Mariachi. Watching Howlin For You helped restore my faith that I could watch sexy, scantily-clad chicks kick ass and not become physically ill. A strange concern for the Reel Whore, I know, but had you been subjected to the shit I was over the weekend, you would understand. Without further delay, I leave you to ogle Tricia Helfer and groove to this funky tune.

The Black Keys - Howlin For You

Is it just me or does Dan Auerbach kinda look like Jon Hamm underneath that 'stache?
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Trailer Trash: The March 25th Quickie

2011-03-25T17:14:00.003-04:00

I can't believe it's already Friday! At one point this week seemed to be moving in reverse; now if the weekend would only move as slowly so I can catch up on some good theater. We've got two new releases going head to head against the NCAA tournament according to IMDb.Shall we?

Sucker Punch My best guess is Zack Snyder had one helluva wet dream over Mia Wallace's Fox Force Five in Pulp Fiction and, years later, Sucker Punch was born. Visually, our eyeballs will explode from the sensory smorgasbord, but I get the feeling it'll be one complex, confusing-ass story to follow. I expect Abbie Cornish will steal the show with her big A sword, and this is coming from the guy going mainly to see Carla Gugino work that corset.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules I was interested in seeing the first installment of the Wimpy Kid's adventures, but never got around to it. Apparently, it must have a Twilight level of appeal given they've cranked out a sequel almost exactly one year later. This one looks equally silly, but will probably be less enjoyable. I'd say I'd go see it, but I'll just wait another year to see if they'll crank out the remaining three books in a four-film installment.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

This weekend promises wet and dreary weather in my area. Perfect for catching some quality theater time. Have a good one!

MMM: Run Kids Run

2011-03-21T09:34:00.003-04:00

Morning stargazers. I caught this catchy little ditty on the way into work this morning. The song has risen to decent heights on both the Rock and Alt Rock charts in this year. Not a bad start for the three-man indie rock band, Foster the People. Keep the good stuff coming fellas.

Foster the People - Pumped Up Kicks

Compared to the video, it's a dreary Monday here. I'm going to keep my head low and hope for sunnier skies tomorrow.
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Trailer Trash: The March 18th Quickie

2011-03-18T09:30:00.103-04:00

Another week has flown by and all this blog has to show for it is a Monday Mood Music and now this Trailer Trash. I had the best of blogging intentions this week, but intentions don't write posts apparently. Maybe now that my allergies are under control, I can get on top of my homework assignments and actually have time at night to write about all the new releases I've seen lately.

For now you will have to settle for my take on this week's latest set of new releases. Skimming over them I am surprised to find that, on the whole, they don't suck nearly as hard as those from past weeks. Too bad they will be up against the NCAA tournament. Here's the three major releases according to IMDb that will lose out to March Madness.

Limitless A busy poster and fast-paced trailer really do go a long way towards getting the blood racing for Limitless. It helps to have a slick and sexy Bradley Cooper dominating most of the trailer, too (although a little more Abbie Cornish wouldn't have hurt). I'm not sure how someone so super smart as post-pill Bradley allows himself to get tangled up with a seedy DeNiro, but I guess I'll have to watch and find out.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Paul It's a little disappointing this isn't a biopic about Paul Rudd and how much fans awesome sauce him. This is, however, the latest from Pegg & Frost; the fellas behind Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. It also stars Seth Rogen who I've nearly had my fill of in recent months. Still, the supporting cast looks promising, and I'm looking for good laughs, not-so-terrible CGI, and lots of spoofing.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!
P.S. I actually caught this at a sneak peek earlier this week, and it lived up to my hopes. Yay!

The Lincoln Lawyer All right. All right, all right, all right. I'm drawn to William H. Macy's wookie mop as much as I am the tense atmosphere between McConaughey and Phillippe. It may also be that I'm drawn to seeing a mid-80's Lincoln Town Car onscreen; I used to run my pimp game from one back in the day. Still, some unsurprising twist seems to be lurking around the corner which makes me think I can wait to catch this.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

I'm also stoked to see Paul Giamatti's Win Win though who knows when it'll get around to opening here.

Whether it be thanks to basketball or movies, hope everyone has a great weekend!
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MMM: Physics and Physicians

2011-03-14T12:01:00.008-04:00

Afternoon stargazers. I would have posted sooner, but my morning was gobbled up by a doctor's appointment. Despite myself, I received a nearly clean bill of health (dang allergies). With that behind me, I can concentrate on the week in front of me, which means it's time to pick a mood music.

Today's song selection is from Vienna Teng, an artist I saw in town less than two weeks ago. This was my second time seeing her live; this time accompanied by percussionist Alex Wong. Vienna is a software engineer turned pianist-singer-songwriter studying to be a capitalist pig-tree hugger. More importantly, give her a mic and a piano and she'll crank out some great music. I could go on, but since this post is already late, I'm going to sit down and let the lady sing.

Vienna Teng - Gravity

In other concert news, I scored tickets to Neil Young's April concert! Anybody got any concerts they're looking forward to in the coming months?
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Trailer Trash: The March 11th Quickie

2011-03-11T09:45:00.002-05:00

People, I am pissed! With a nice big 3D kiddie film fiasco opening this weekend, I was all set to see Drive Angry 3D shift over to a smaller, less obnoxious screening area so I could finally enjoy Cage and Fichtner chewing up the screen for ninety minutes without being disgusted by the lame technological gimmickry. So of course I am teed off to find Drive Angry has disappeared from my town completely! Two weeks and it's vanished. I didn't expect it to have an Avatar-sized following, but even Season of the Witch stuck around longer than that. For this indiscretion, I should boycott 2011 movies altogether!

You, however, know me better than that. I will instead attempt to find solace in one of this week's three new releases listed over at IMDb. Let's check them out.

Battle: Los Angeles If Resident Evil, S.W.A.T., and Avatar have taught us anything, it's that Michelle Rodriguez looks hot in uniform. However, I wouldn't make that my main reason to catch this. If it's anything like the trailer lets on, B:LA will be two hours of unbridled carnage and destruction. It'll probably be overkill (no pun intended), but I'm due a good bone-rattling movie.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Red Riding Hood I can't really blame Catherine Hardwicke for the whole Twilight film explosion; if those fans actually cared about the story's quality they'd be cursing her for making such a dazzlingly dull first installment. However, RRH looks visually stunning, even if Oldman's purple pimp-chic outfit seems a bit weird. This weekend, I'll opt to watch to get my wolf fix via BBC America's Being Human.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Mars Needs Moms I feel like every time a new kid's movie starts advertising, I can't do anything but shit all over how painful it looks. Maybe if there were better story ideas than having meatballs rain from the sky, gnomes fighting over turf, or a bunch of funky Martian stealing moms I'd be more amiable to the animated. Then again, they can't all be a Toy Story sequel; sometimes we have to settle for another Cars.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Can you believe I've only seen three 2011 releases since January?! It's mind-bottling how sad the offerings have been so far. Maybe I can start making up for my lack of posting soon. Any suggestions?
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MMM: Don't Rush Me

2011-03-07T10:00:00.001-05:00

Since last week was a flashback to my college years, I decided to reach back even little further this week. In doing so, I'll also be giving a birthday shout out to this week's mood music artist. This particular artist was the bomb diggity back in the day. From right out of the starting gate, she landed in the top ten of the Billboard charts and continued to do so with her next six singles. That's a total of seven, man, seven top ten hits in four years. Not too shabby.

Shortly thereafter, her hold over the Billboard charts slipped, although she continues to top Billboard's Hot Dance Club Songs charts every few years. Currently, she's remastering her Greatest Hits album. Taylor Dane is 49 today. To celebrate, I've decided to play the fourth single from her debut album which became her highest charting single at that time. Enjoy!

Taylor Dayne - Don't Rush Me

Watching her old videos, it's crazy how much Fergie reminds me of Taylor Dane. Considering Fergie covered Taylor's first single, Tell It to My Heart, during her time on Kids Incorporated, we can assume Taylor might have had a little influence over Fergie.
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Trailer Trash: The March 4th Quickie

2011-03-04T10:00:00.005-05:00

Welcome to the end of another week, stargazers. I hope you don't mind that I've been quiet this week; trying to recuperate from my Confessions and the Oscars. I do regret skipping last week's Trailer Trash because one of my most anticipated films of the new year opened.

If you guessed Nic Cage's Drive Angry, that's a bingo! Despite having an action chub for this movie since I first saw the trailer back in fall 2010, I will not give in to the shameless 3D pandering! I will patiently wait to view this once it has been bumped into the tiny, slightly colder 2D theater at the very end of the hallway. I just hope it fulfills the insanely, cheesy promise the trailer makes.

But I digress. You're here to get the scoop on this week's new releases. IMDb says we have four major releases which range from comedy to drama for both young and old. But are any worth your dime?

The Adjustment Bureau I'm loving this cast; Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, John Slattery and Terence Stamp make this movie hard to pass up. However, dodgy word-of-mouth and a release date that's run around the calendar more than these characters do in the trailer gives me pause. The quality of March films can be a roll of the dice, but I'm not sure luck will be with me on this one.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Beastly CBS Films is at it again. Who asked them to get into the movie business anyways? Honestly, who watches any of their TV programming. Okay, I do watch The Defenders; but every company has to get at least one thing right. As for the Beastly trailer, Vain prick (yawn) meets wackadoo Olsen twin (yawn) which leads to tutoring by NPH (YAY!) and loving from Efron's leftovers (yyyaaaaaawwwwwn).

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Rango At this point, after super bowl spots, theatrical trailers, TV commercials and internet ads, I'm pretty much Rango'd the fuck out. Honestly, from all that I have seen and read about this, the making of Rango looks far more entertaining than the movie can ever hope to be. At least it ain't in fucking 3D, and for that, I'll give it a pass.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Take Me Home Tonight I swore this was two thirty-something guys trying to recapture their youthful fervor by crashing a high school party after meeting this hot young blonde. Actually, they're all roughly the same age! What the shit? Who done thunk this was the bestest idea? I guess it could be a spoof on old high school flics, or it could (and will) just kill the success of the entire premise. I do love Anna though, so it will be watched...eventually.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

By the looks of things, I'll still be cruising the cheap theaters this weekend. If only, Drive Angry had a 2D showing in my area.
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The Hump: No. 22

2011-03-02T09:33:00.002-05:00

MMM: Rise Like Yeast

2011-02-28T09:30:00.001-05:00

Once again thanks to everyone who visited last week for my 2010 Confesssions. I now return you to Reel Whore's regularly scheduled programming.

If you're like me, you were glued to the Oscars until the the last note of the PS 22 Choir's Somewhere Over the Rainbow was sang. As usual, my knack for predicting the winners, but what can you do?

I'm not going to analyze my winner selection suckitude or the highs and lows of the evening. I'm more preoccupied by how, despite how tired I was, I continued to buzz around the house until nearly 2am. I was folding and putting away clothes, cleaning the kitchen, making my weekly todo list, paying bills, reading, etc. Maybe the grocery bag of buttered popcorn and half-gallon of soda I downed at the Oscar party had me buzzing, but this delayed sleeptime has happened for more than a few evenings. It could be that it topped 80 degrees yesterday, lovely weather for February right? I'm not complaining, but it the change could be screwing with my beauty rest.

Point is, I'm all hepped up on goofballs. As I lay in bed this morning pondering whether to kill the alarm and try to get more rest or just get up a trudge through the day, one my all-time favorite songs popped in my head. The song's fifteen years old now, but I remember catching the video on MuchMusic way back when. After all this time, it's still my jam and it's thumping groove was able to propel me into motion. Enjoy!

Faithless - Insomnia

Well, I'm off to tackle the day. Hopefully, this perpetual lack of sleep won't catch up with me until I'm nestled into the ass groove of my couch tonight.
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