Trailer Trash: The 2011 Blowout!

Afternoon stargazers! I missed last week's Trailer Trash, but can you blame me? It's the holiday season and it's like diarrhea of the theaters right now. IMDb lists new releases opening nearly every day for the next couple of weeks. Instead of trying to pigeon hole all these releases into an end of the week round up, I'm just going to run through them all in one fell swoop. Enjoy!

Alvin & the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (12.16) I've yet to suffer through any of Alvin, Simon and Theodore's cinematic shenanigans. I enjoyed watching them growing up, but the CGI of this latest version is a travesty. Besides I can't support any movie that shills any variation of Willow Smith's Whip My Hair.




Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Sherlock Holmes: A Games of Shadows (12.16) The first installment of RDJ as SH was decent enough, but it didn't have me itching to come back for a sequel despite it's wide-open ending. Surprisingly, I'm kinda stoked about seeing the deuce. It has more to do with Noomi Rapace's stateside debut more than Holmes' and Watson's heterosexual lifemate sich, but I'm sure studios don't care as long as it puts my ass in a seat. 


Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!  

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (12.20) The Hipster-Cruise look on the poster needs to go. I get they need it; this series started while most of its target audience was in utero. Hoodie aside; the action is tight, Pegg is funny, Patton is smokin', and Renner's big screen presence continues to expand. I've been on his band wagon since Somnambulist, but see him shine before the overexposure of the Avengers kicks in.


Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation! 

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (12.20) My feeling about this is the original Swedish Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is pretty much a perfect film in every aspect so I have absolutely no need for an Americanized remake. This is one of those times when I tell people to suck it up and read the damned subtitles! I'm sure Craig will do a good job, but Mara has some huge platform boots to fill to convince me she's Lisbeth Salander.


Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

The Adventures of Tintin (12.21) Until I saw the first trailer for this, I thought this was going to be the story of Rin Tin Tin. I'd never even heard of the old cartoon series. The thing that makes me most excited about Tintin is that with Spielberg's involvement we might finally get a Academy Award category for motion capture just so Andy Serkis can get that long overdue Oscar!



Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

We Bought a Zoo (12.23) I tell ya, I'd buy a helluva lot more than a zoo if I got to cozy up to Scarlett Johansson on the regular. Then again, if I looked like Matt Damon, I could probably buy her stuffed giraffe and be in there like swimwear. As for the movie, this looks to be the film that rinses the bad taste of Vanilla Sky and Elizabethtown Cameron Crowe left us with years ago. But if the kid starts talking about the weights of animal heads, all bets are off!


Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation! 

The Darkest Hour (12.25) Nothing like a little horror-styled counter-programming during the holidays. I'm still recovering from the burns Black Christmas left on my eyes years ago, so it's a safe bet I'll be passing on this. Besides, there's nothing like a faceless alien menace to make me even less excited about a film.




Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

War Horse  (12.25) I'm not sure if it's the John Williams score or the warm inviting Spielberg polish of War Horse, but I'm actually pretty excited to see this. I gave it a middling rating, however, because if I see this it'll be all by my damned self since no one else has the slightest inkling of interest in it. I'll no doubt see it at some point, but those warms tones and soothing music will be coming from my home theater set up.


Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


Happy Holidays Everyone! 
 

MMM: Some Balls Are Held for Charity

Seven days and counting until Christmas day! I hope you've finished all your holiday errands. I haven't, but I'm hoping you have. In all the hustle and bustle, I nearly forgot a very important holiday tradition; to download the Killers latest Christmas tune. This year's song is based on an 1890 poem by William Lawrence Chittenden and was set to music by western singer, Michael Martin Murphey. The Killers tweaked a few of the lyrics to make it their own, but the video is what really sets it apart as their jam. If the video doesn't get you into the holiday spirit, there may be no hope for you.

The Killers - The Cowboy's Christmas Ball

Don't you just that ol' Western vibe? It's like the Killers' version of Cowboys & Aliens, except more enjoyable.

MMM: Me Teethes Is Chitterin

Damn stargazers, it's effin' cold here! I can normally deal with the winter chill, but I'm figuring since it was in the mid-70s last Monday my body just wasn't ready to downshift so quickly. Hopefully I'll get acclimated very soon. An apropos tune popped up into my shuffle this morning. It's by an up and coming band, Built for the Sea, that I assume is still around despite being MIA for a bit. If you know the scoop on them, let me know. If not, just enjoy their spin on this holiday classic.

Built for the Sea - Baby It's Cold Outside

Trailer Trash: The December 9th Quickie

It's been a few weeks, but the Trailer Trash is back bitches! Honestly, you haven't missed anything in theaters. I myself haven't seen a mainstream movie since Tower Heist. Crazy, right? If the IMDb listed offerings for this weekend are any indication though, it looks like my ass will continue to stay at home watching Christmas movies and movies for my biweekly vault reviews over at Man, I Love Films. 

The Sitter I gave my two cents of this when I reviewed Adventures in Babysitting, but in case you missed it...Pass. I want good things for David Gordon Green, but after Your Highness 2011 may not be his year. I like Hill usually, but he looks as annoying as these kids in this concept rehash. Sam Rockwell and Ari Graynor will eventually pull me into the theater, but not anytime soon.


Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


New Year's Eve If you want proof positive that the end of days is nigh, here it is. What but some sort of malevolent force could gather so many lovely and talented actors together to participate in such horrific schlock. I say this assuming it follows the same premise as last year's Valentine's Day, which by all accounts was so bad, I'd prefer to be subjected to Bucky Larson again before I'd sit through anything similar to it.


Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.


Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Still not sure how unenthusiastic I am about the above two offerings? I have only seen this trailer once, but Gary Oldman's face on the poster is all I need to know to be psyched for to see TTSS. I know it's a remake and it has some other respectable people in it as well, and as soon as this limited release opens here I will be sitting center row munching my popcorn.



Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


Young Adult Much like TTSS, Young Adult isn't opening here this weekend either. The trailers keep the story short and not so sweet, but I've missed seeing Charlize play a grown up child ever since Arrested Development went off the air. Besides this has Reitman behind the helm so it can't be nearly as tedious as watching New Year's Eve.  




Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


I'm most excited that The Descendants opens here today! That's where I'll be headed after work. How about you?

MMM: Take Me To The Place I Love

Good morning stargazers! Sorry it's been a while since I've posted here, but the holidays got me all out of sync. First, I missed the Thanksgiving Trailer Trash due to holiday travels. Then a nasty head cold pre-empted last week's Monday Mood Music. I was all ready to get back on track with a new Trailer Trash last Friday, but not a single major new release opened last week. Go figure.

But you don't give a shit about all that! What matters is I'm back and I am super excited the Red Hot Chili Peppers are coming to my town in January! I scored my tickets on Saturday; not the best seats I had hoped for, but pretty damned good. This concert will make for one more band that I can mark off my Must See Before They Die List. Woo Hoo! In honor of their upcoming concert, let's play a little tunage from this LA band.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under The Bridge