Trailer Trash: February 17 of 2012

Surprised? I know, me too. It's been weeks since I've posted a Trailer Trash, but I'm back today and maybe I can make it a recurring series once again (no promises). Speaking of promises, this weekend's two major releases don't look very promising at all. Lucky me, of the slew of limited releases also opening, one of them landed here. Let's have a look at our options.  

This Means War The trailers for this look peppy and fun. Pine and Hardy are having a grand time one-upping and beating down each other as they vie for Reese Witherspoon's affections. Witherspoon is looking surprisingly scrumptious while Pine and Hardy are their usually hunky selves. So much going for it, but my gut's telling me this is gonna suck so I'll be waiting for a quiet weekend this summer to catch it. 



Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance I was a big fan of the Ghost Rider comics as a teen. I was not too fond of the last film, but it did have Sam Elliott going for it. This sequel has my man, Idris "Luther" Elba, appearing, but I don't know if I can take Nicolas Cage cracking jokes about being thirsty and ashy. That said, I don't know who I'm kidding, because I will inevitably see this, just not anytime soon.


Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.
 

The Secret World of Arrietty (Limited) I know I'm dating myself, but who else thinks this is nothing more than The Littles: The Movie? Thought so. Though Hayao Miyazaki isn't directing, one of his crew is helming his screenplay. Even if it turns out to be a mediocre movie, it's still far better than the rest of my options.





Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


I am finally going to see The Artist this weekend. Procrastinate much, do I? What Oscar contender are you trying to catch before the big event?

Trailer Trash: January 6 of 2012

Happy 2012 stargazers! Bringing in the new year was so much fun I apparently forgot to put out a Monday Mood Music! No matter, it will return next week, I promise. At least you have a Trailer Trash to warn you to stay far, far away from anything new opening this weekend. There's only one new release according to IMDb and who knows, maybe it won't be the horrid fare that is usually dumped at the beginning of the year. Let's find out.


The Devil Inside Looks like I was wrong. While the trailers don't look terrible, the poster makes me think of a cracked-out lesbian begging for bush. I've been burned plenty of times by shitty January horror movies over the years (Ugh, White Noise comes to mind). Also, when was it decided that crappy exorcism films are a January staple? Are people so tired of Christmas they're looking for a little AntiChrist?  


Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Obviously, I'll be passing on this week's offerings. Instead I've finally mustered up the strength to see the Americanized version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. What will you be watching?

Trailer Trash: The December 9th Quickie

It's been a few weeks, but the Trailer Trash is back bitches! Honestly, you haven't missed anything in theaters. I myself haven't seen a mainstream movie since Tower Heist. Crazy, right? If the IMDb listed offerings for this weekend are any indication though, it looks like my ass will continue to stay at home watching Christmas movies and movies for my biweekly vault reviews over at Man, I Love Films. 

The Sitter I gave my two cents of this when I reviewed Adventures in Babysitting, but in case you missed it...Pass. I want good things for David Gordon Green, but after Your Highness 2011 may not be his year. I like Hill usually, but he looks as annoying as these kids in this concept rehash. Sam Rockwell and Ari Graynor will eventually pull me into the theater, but not anytime soon.


Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


New Year's Eve If you want proof positive that the end of days is nigh, here it is. What but some sort of malevolent force could gather so many lovely and talented actors together to participate in such horrific schlock. I say this assuming it follows the same premise as last year's Valentine's Day, which by all accounts was so bad, I'd prefer to be subjected to Bucky Larson again before I'd sit through anything similar to it.


Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.


Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Still not sure how unenthusiastic I am about the above two offerings? I have only seen this trailer once, but Gary Oldman's face on the poster is all I need to know to be psyched for to see TTSS. I know it's a remake and it has some other respectable people in it as well, and as soon as this limited release opens here I will be sitting center row munching my popcorn.



Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


Young Adult Much like TTSS, Young Adult isn't opening here this weekend either. The trailers keep the story short and not so sweet, but I've missed seeing Charlize play a grown up child ever since Arrested Development went off the air. Besides this has Reitman behind the helm so it can't be nearly as tedious as watching New Year's Eve.  




Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


I'm most excited that The Descendants opens here today! That's where I'll be headed after work. How about you?

Trailer Trash: The November 18th Quickie

Wow, I can't believe Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Looking ahead, the next few weeks are always a disappointing time. There will be tons of exciting new releases in the coming weeks, but thanks to my geographic location, I will be unable to enjoy most until after the new year. Makes a good argument for moving to NYC or LA for the holidays. Since that's not going to happen anytime soon, I'll instead focus on the three big releases listed over at IMDb for this weekend, one of which is an aforementioned forbidden treat. Can you guess which one?

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 I haven't followed Twilight since suffering through the first film. From what I can tell, Edward and Bella consummate their love and either she becomes swole with a half-vamp calf or Ed's shimmery spooge shards rip Bellas innards causing an internal hemorrhage the size of a basketball. Either way, Bella looks to be in pain, but not as much as I'd be in if I went to see this.


Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.


Happy Feet Two I don't know what's worse; that they made this sequel or that their title creativity was so uninspired. Why not go with Happy Feet: Step Up 2 Da Ice, Two Feet, Too Happy, Happy Feet: Part Dew!, Happy Feet: Mumble Never Sleeps, Happy Feet and the Chamber of Fishes, Mumble: First Blood Part II, Happy Feet: Episode II - Attack of the Cones, or the classic Happy Feet Too!. Not that it'd matter, I'd still pass.


Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.


The Descendants This had me at Judy Greer, but adding George Clooney and Alexander Payne into the mix was a nice bonus. Plus there's the fact that Community's very own Dean Pelton (a.k.a. Jim Rash) had a hand in the script. I'd be first in line this weekend to see this, if it had opened here. If I'm lucky, maybe this can be my dessert after Thanksgiving. 



Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


That's all we've got for this week, but fret not. We'll be inundated with Turkey Day releases before you know it!

Trailer Trash: The November 11th Quickie

Good morning stargazers. IMDb lists three new releases for this weekend, but none of them appear to honor our veterans. None of them really look like they'll excite our interest either. Here are these movies.

Immortals From trailer #1, this has been so...unimpressive. It's sad because Tarsem Singh is a visual genius behind the camera and I've been waiting for Henry Cavill to break out ever since he lost out to Daniel Craig for the role of James Bond. Those two reasons are enough to get me out to see Immortals, but that ridiculous helmet of Mickey Rourke's gives me pause.



Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


J. Edgar As you should all know, this project had me at Eastwood. Clint does period pieces well as does DiCaprio, so I expect this will be a satisfying biopic. I'm also extremely curious to see how Michael Westen a.k.a. Jeffrey Donovan handles his role as Robert Kennedy. It could be the role to step him up to the big screen, not that I want Burn Notice to end anytime soon.


 
Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


Jack and Jill I enjoy a good Adam Sandler flick so when he starts making them again, be sure to let me know won't you? The slapstick comedy looks like it'll cause more eye-rolling than side-splitting. I should support my girl, but as longtime readers know, Katie's made it very clear she's moved on. I may chose to see this in the unheated discomfort of the cheap theater. At least then I can be numb to the pain it may cause.


Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.


Happy Veteran's Day everyone.

Trailer Trash: The November 4th Quickie

Welcome to November stargazers! I'm still pretty wiped from the  Week of Reel Whorror!. If you missed it, that's what the link's for. With Halloween behind us, it's on to Thanksgiving, stuffing ourselves silly, and falling asleep to football games and movies. If you want a jump start on that last item, IMDb says there are two major releases this weekend to chose from. These are those movies.

Tower Heist I've been hyping this movie over in my Man, I Love Films Vault Review column for the last three weeks. Individually, the stars have had their cinematic hits and misses, but together this looks like pretty safe bet. This may be Eddie Murphy's funniest project in years, especially if Casey Affleck and Michael Peña are given time to shine. I, for one, plan to find out this weekend.



Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas The first time I saw this trailer, this looked even worse than their first sequel Escape from Guantanamo Bay. Now that I've been exposed to the trailer another umpteen-thousand times, it still looks rude, raunchy and ridiculous, but I'm in just the right mood to enjoy that right now. WWNPHD? Tell me to go support his career, and would he ever really steer me wrong?


Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

That's all we've got new in my neck of the woods. Lucky for me the summer releases are now spilling into the cheap theaters.

Trailer Trash: The October 28th Quickie

Time for a brief intermission from the Week of Reel Whorror to showcase all the goodies Hollywood is tempting us with this Halloween weekend. Taking a look at IMDb we've got jack shit in terms of spooky and scary. It's all animated cats and a singer-wannabe-action star... Hmmm, that actually does sound pretty scary, only for entirely different reasons.
 

In Time The stench of action vehicle hangs off this as badly as last month's lame Lautner flick, Abduction. In Time has got a ton of talented, and gorgeous, people surrounding and supporting Justin Timberlake. I guess that's supposed to somehow convince audiences to take him seriously. Where's Ben Foster and Ryan Gosling when you need them?



Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


Puss in Boots I love the point Dylan over at Man, I Love Films made, " I don’t know about you, but I already saw The Mask of Zorro." I would actually be somewhat psyched to see this except it unnerves me that the trailers rely on those risque golden egg jokes to sell this KIDS movie! Why not just let your house apes settle in with Bad Santa this holiday.




Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


The Rum Diary This may come as a shock to some, but I didn't much care for Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. This film looks like a much...tamer, imagining of the Hunter S. Thompson's work; kind of like Palahniuk's Choke was to Fight Club. I'm certain Depp and the drool-worthy Amber Heard will give it their all, I just won't be there to see it. 




Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


Enough distractions, time to get back to the whorror!

Trailer Trash: The October 21st Quickie

Another weekend of cool and sunny weather in my area. As easy as the Reel Whore is, the theater is going to have to offer up one helluva movie to coax me into a seat. Checking both IMDb and The Numbers tells me we have four major releases vying for our attentions, but is our attention warranted?

Johnny English Reborn I swear I watched Johnny English back when it came out, but I can't tell you the first thing about it besides Rowan Atkinson starred alongside Natalie Imbruglia. Yeah, Imbruglia, I know. Reborn looks like mild, silly fun, and movies like that play best on cable television which is where I'll catch this.




Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


The Mighty Macs Since the boys can't resolve the lockout, let the ladies sate your b-ball appetites. This is a true story tale of inspiration about an all-women's Catholic college basketball team from the 70s. Carla Gugino stars and she always inspires me to go to the movies. Bonus, Bones fans can get their David Boreanaz fix while they wait for the new season to begin. Sounds like a win-win all around.



Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Paranormal Activity 3 The idea of a sequel to Paranormal Activity excited me so much last time that I never saw it. The teaser trailer for the third installment was equally snoozeworthy. But I have to admit the latest trailers where folks are being thrown around like rag dolls are pretty cool. Cool enough to go see it opening weekend, eeehhh don't think so.



Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


The Three Musketeers Milla Jovovich is my go to action actress and I will see just about anything she's in, but this looks so colossally terrible that not even my love her can justify wasting the money. I wonder whose ass is gonna get reamed when the weekend box office numbers are released next week. 




Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.


That's all I got folks. Come back next week, big doings are in the works.

Trailer Trash: The October 14th Quickie

A bright and sunny weekend lies ahead, the State Fair is in town and AMC's The Walking Dead premiers. This leaves very little time for going to the movies. If you or I do make it to the theater, IMDb says there are three major releases looking to lure us away from its competitors. The question is which, if any, has the right stuff to do just that?


Footloose The idea of banning dancing and good ol' Rock'n'Roll seemed redonkulous in 1982 and remaking the concept for today's headphones-wired-into-our-cortex society deserves a new descriptor. How about Footfukintardtastic?

Maybe not. No worries. I've got plenty of time to come up with one since I'll be staying way the fuck away from this one.


Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.


The Big Year I'm very excited about The Big Year. Don't misunderstand, the trailers gives me some serious heebie-jeebies. I'm guessing this will be a colossal fail. I'm excited because its release means Steve Martin will be hosting SNL very soon thus tying Alec Baldwin's record. Those eps are always a blast to watch.




Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.


The Thing No lie, I watched the original for the first time two days ago and it held up pretty damned well. Not sure how this remake will fair, but its got three things going for it;

Mary,
Elizabeth,
Winstead.  

North Carolina Represent!


Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


Daylight's burning stargazers. I'm off to enjoy the hell out of my weekend and I hope you do the same.

Trailer Trash: The October 7th Quickie

Oh how the day has gotten away from me. But the weekend is here and IMDb says we have two new releases to enjoy. Since I'm already behind the gun, I'll try and keep my comments to five words of less. 


The Ides of March 


 Clooney & The Gos...mmm.


Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


 



 Real Steel


The Robotic Rocky.



Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!




 I think that about sums it up. Have a great weekend at the movies and I'll catch you on the flipside.

Trailer Trash: The September 23rd Quickie

Stargazers, I have been dreading this week for longer than I care to remember. It's not because I've spent the week being barraged by Now-on-DVD adverts touting the brilliance of the woefully undeserving Bridesmaids, although that doesn't help. No, according to IMDb, what will no doubt be the most awful action film of the year releases today. You'll have to read on to discover which one, but I bet you can guess.


Dolphin Tale "Hi there! Now what seems to be the problem here? This dolphin doesn't have a tail you say? No worries, for I, Harry Connick, Jr. will combine my jazz talent with the vocal stylings of Kris Kristofferson, that purdy smile on Ashley Judd, and the magic of this kindly black man to infuse her aquatic soul with a funky-folky groove that'll have her swimming like Michael Phelps in no time." (Sorry Harry, love ya!)

Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.



Moneyball Brad Pitt plays the major league coach who gives a tubby, nonathletic youth a sporting chance to knock it out the park with his newfangled scouting scheme. Jonah Hill isn't nearly endearing, or ethnic, enough to make this a mega-hit like Blind Side, but I'm always game to see Brad on the big screen. So dreamy. 




Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

 
Abduction If a shit could take a shit, this would be the rancid, stinking pile left behind. And if you put that turd in a bag, set it on fire then doused it with water, Taylor Lautner would still not be able to act his way to freedom. I like to believe all the other talent (Singleton, Weaver, Bello, Molina) were attached before they cast the cardboard cutout. If it weren't for Killer Elite also opening, I'd swear Hollywood is trying to kill the action genre.

Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

 
Killer Elite Now when I think action, this is what I'm thinking about! Not Clive Owens pedo 'stache, but the ass-whooping Jason Statham is going to lay on him for growing such a pervy thing! Not sure why De Niro is in this, but as long as it delivers on its R-rated promise, you won't hear me complaining.





Verdict:  Moist With Antici...Pation!


Let's make a pact to make Killer Elite the #1 film at the box office this weekend. Action fans unite!

Trailer Trash: The September 16th Quickie

The weekend is once again upon us! If you've been suffering from Mad Men withdrawal or more specifically, buxom redhead withdrawal, this is the weekend you need to be at the theater. Christina Hendricks has supporting roles in two of the three major releases, at least that's what IMDb tells me, and it's not a site prone to lies. It's no surprise she couldn't find a role in Straw Dogs; having her and Alexander Skarsgård share the screen would have been too much hotness for one movie. If Hendricks isn't reason enough to buy your ticket, here's a few more. 


Drive Have you seen this trailer? If so, then there's no need to convince you to see Drive because you know it looks fucking fantastic! Following the Damon method, Gosling's poised to achieve action star status now that he's proven himself a talented dramatic actor. The film features an exceptional supporting cast and a highly praised director. How could you not see this?



Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

 
I Don't Know How She Does It That would be the answer to the question; how does SJP still star in films? My disdain for Parker isn't the killing factor; Kinnear and Brosnan are enough to cancel her out for me. No actress, not even Maria Bello or Laura Linney could make this dopey premise appealing. Also, is it just me or does the poster remind you of Sesame Street's One of These Things (Is Not Like the Other) game?


Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.


Straw Dogs Straw Dogs is one of my must-see fall movies. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe I have a soft spot for James Marsden. Maybe I just like films about good ol' country boys fucking with outsiders. Actually, it's probably because I'm a sucker for brutal violence and this appears to have it in spades. It has nothing to do with a shirtless Skarsgård; I get plenty of that in True Blood.  



Verdict:  Moist With Antici...Pation!

 
 Now that I'm thinking about it, this weekend is looking like television has invaded the movies with all the TV actors scoring so many parts in the offerings. I guess that's one way to ensure I'll get up off the couch and into a theater seat!

Trailer Trash: The September 9th Quickie

While I have been MIA for the past week, I'm guessing all my stargazers were like this:

DOCTOR

Unfortunately, he's away at a nerd festival.

STARGAZER

Right. Uh, so can I read some new content?

DOCTOR

I'm sorry. Your blogger is out of town.

STARGAZER

(pausing) 

What are you talking about? What happened to him?!

WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?!

Okay, so maybe my dear readers weren't that bent out of shape, but I hope my absence was noted. Now, I'm back to discuss the three major releases, as listed by IMDb. 


Contagion If you didn't notice, I'm more than a little excited about Contagion. A great director with a stellar cast, including Matt Damon yelling at people. I didn't need to see anything else to sell me, although the inclusion of a second Spank Bank inductee, Sanaa Lathan,  was icing on the cake. 





Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

 
Warrior Sigh. I can't even count all the ways I'm not interested in this. Sadly, I feel like I should be at least moderately psyched to watch Warrior. It's got Tom Hardy and Jennifer Morrison. It's got fighting. But it has also got icky-stick tendrils waiting to lash out and latch onto my heartstrings and yank the shit out of them. That's something I'm just not in the mood for right now.



Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.


Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star Oh, Nick Swardson, I so want you to have a hit comedy movie, but the trailers are telling me that this will not be that movie. The raunchy premise is one that the Reel Whore can't ignore, but I prefer to be pleasantly surprised at the second-run theater than disappointed on opening weekend.




Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

 
Being out of town last weekend has put my severely behind in movie watching, so I need to gets to getting. I hope you find a fun film diversion; that's my plan.

Trailer Trash: The August 26th Quickie

I'll be damned if it isn't the end of August. I swear I was eating hot dogs on the Fourth just a couple weeks ago. As the saying goes, time flies when you have shit to do. Wait, that doesn't sound right. Still applies. Anyways, one thing on my must-do list, assuming Hurricane Irene visits, is to go to the movies and catch up on some movies I've missed over the past few weeks. That is unless the new releases (see IMDb ) are must-see offerings. Let's have a look see.   


Colombiana I admit I've already seen this, but had I not gotten to see an advance screening, I wouldn't have sliced into my cheddar to rush out this weekend. Luc Besson is can't-miss when it comes to penning and producing action flicks. That said, it'd be much easier to wrap a foil Juicy Fruit wrapper around Saldana than it is to wrap my head around her as an unstoppable killer.


Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


Our Idiot Brother Very little about this premise appeals to me, but my man-crush on Paul Rudd won't let me skip it. Even through all the scruffiness he's got going on, I can't say no to that face...or Zooey Deschanel's...or Elizabeth Banks-able Banks'... or Rashida Jones'. You get the point; it's a great cast in a questionable movie. I've committed to far worse.



Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


Don't Be Afraid of the Dark How can I put this? Katie and I haven't been...cinematic in quite some time. It's a long story, but I have my reasons. I'd be willing to put aside our familial issues if her latest film looked more, well, interesting. I'd have to put my faith in Guillermo del Toro's writing to take this up a notch, but from what the trailers have shown I'm only confident the creature effects will be worth the price of admission.


Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

 
With so many middling movies, it looks like I am safe to play catch up on last week's Fright Night and the much-anticipated TrollHunter. What's on your watch list for the weekend?

Trailer Trash: The August 19th Quickie

I'm sure many of you noticed last week's Trailer Trash was absent. I apologize and hope this week's proves doubly entertaining for you. August offers up another four new releases to feast our senses upon, at least that's what IMDb reports. The big question is are any of them worth watching?  


Conan the Barbarian With all the sword-fighting and carnage and mayhem, you'd think I'd be chomping at the bit, whipped into an action-crazed frenzy to see Conan. I'm not really feeling this, though. The R-rating will inevitably draw me into the theater, but I guess I just prefer a Conan that speaks fewer words, wears less eye liner and uses less product.  




Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


Fright Night Colin Farrell has a knack for playing a douchebag; just check out Horrible Bosses if you need proof. You can't get more douchey than playing a vampire neighbor named Jerry who's hellbent of snacking on all your friends and family. With David Tennant and my favorite up-and-comer Anton Yelchin being pitted against the Irishman, I can't think of a single reason why I'd miss this!

 

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


One Day Jeez, if this film is even one-tenth as tedious as its trailer, audiences are in for one long ass day at the theater. I enjoy the more vampy Anne Hathaway from recent films like Valentine's Day and Love and Other Drugs to this dull and dowdy version. She's put her Princess Diaries days behind her and so should everyone else.


 

Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

 
Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D Smell-o-Vision? That's your big selling point. It's not enough I have to wear dumbass 3D glasses to see a piss-poor film, but now I have to get whiff of a postcard during the film? Unless there's a scratch-n-sniff patch of Alba's snatch, I'm not seeing many audiences clamoring to experience this gimmick. Sad thing is, there probably is a scent patch to smell the talking dog's anus.


Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

And on that note, I'm calling it a week. I've got a lot of friends to catch up with, lots of movies to watch and for some reason the weekend is still only two days long! Catch ya on the flip side.

Trailer Trash: The August 5th Quickie

Welcome to August stargazers! It's that transitional month between the last summer hopefuls and the beginning of the deluge of movies that didn't cut the mustard as blockbusters or award contenders. The last few weeks at the movies have been surprisingly enjoyable, but will this week's releases keep up the trend? According to IMDb that task rests upon these two releases:


The Change-Up At every turn I hear serious hate towards The Change-Up. Hell, even I was down on it when I first read the premise. Then I saw the trailers and my deep affection for the comedic talents of Jason Bateman, Ryan Reynolds and Leslie Mann overruled all sensibility. The bathroom humor will no doubt be too much, but I'm going to watch these three rise above the lowest common denominator.
 
 
Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


Rise of the Planet of the Apes I've wrestled with my feelings for Rise. First thoughts are that it looks awesome and who doesn't love James Franco? Then again, all that crazy monkey action in the trailer might just be the last fifteen minutes of a plodding two-hour film. I took one last look at the trailer this morning and, fuck it! This is man vs. monkey and may the best primate win!



Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

I still haven't gotten around to seeing Captain America, but I've got a free ticket I've been saving for just such an occasion. Since I've actually already seen The Change-Up, that should give me plenty of time to see Cap in action. What will you venture out to see this weekend?

Trailer Trash: The July 29th Quickie

After a whirlwind weekend to Charleston for a family reunion followed by an awesome Huey Lewis & the News concert, you could say I'm more than a bit excited to have a weekend in town where I can just stretch out in the comfort of my local theater. I'll be catching up on last week's Captain America, but IMDb tells me I also have three new major releases to chose from as well. Let's have a look-see shall we?


Cowboys and Aliens I love Westerns and the new Bond, and a good alien flick isn't to be missed, but I'm not 100% sold on combining the three. I will, however, put my faith in Jon Favreau to deliver a good story with great action and a Harrison Ford that doesn't mumble-grumble most of his lines. I know I'm asking for a lot with that last request, but maybe Sam Rockwell's shuck and jive will cover up Ford's sleepacting.


Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


Crazy, Stupid, Love With the exception of Dan in Real Life, you can't go wrong with Steve Carell as a romantic comedy lead. In fact, I couldn't ask for a more awesome cast. Regulars know of my undying affection for Julianne Moore and Emma Stone, but this even has some of my obscure faves like Liza Lapira, Julianna Guill and John Carroll Lynch. And did you see Ryan Gosling's abs? Humina, humina, humina!



Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


The Smurfs Are you smurfing smurfing me?! I can't smurfing believe there's a smurfing movie about the Smurfs! I say to smurf with the Smurfs in all their 3-smurfing-D smurfness! You desmurf so much better, Hank Azaria. And Sofia Vergara, I love ogling your smurfs, but why dismurf them in a Smurfs movie?! There's no smurfing way I'll be smurfed to smurf this smurfing bull-smurf...ever! 



Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

As usual, in much cooler towns the movies The Devil's Double and Attack the Block will be opening. I guess I should be happy they're not here yet. It gives me plenty of time to catch up on my mainstream movies. Now I'm off to get my movie watching on!