Wow, I can't believe Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Looking ahead, the next few weeks are always a disappointing time. There will be tons of exciting new releases in the coming weeks, but thanks to my geographic location, I will be unable to enjoy most until after the new year. Makes a good argument for moving to NYC or LA for the holidays. Since that's not going to happen anytime soon, I'll instead focus on the three big releases listed over at IMDb for this weekend, one of which is an aforementioned forbidden treat. Can you guess which one?
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 I haven't followed Twilight since suffering through the first film. From what I can tell, Edward and Bella consummate their love and either she becomes swole with a half-vamp calf or Ed's shimmery spooge shards rip Bellas innards causing an internal hemorrhage the size of a basketball. Either way, Bella looks to be in pain, but not as much as I'd be in if I went to see this.
Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.
Happy Feet Two I don't know what's worse; that they made this sequel or that their title creativity was so uninspired. Why not go with Happy Feet: Step Up 2 Da Ice, Two Feet, Too Happy, Happy Feet: Part Dew!, Happy Feet: Mumble Never Sleeps, Happy Feet and the Chamber of Fishes, Mumble: First Blood Part II, Happy Feet: Episode II - Attack of the Cones, or the classic Happy Feet Too!. Not that it'd matter, I'd still pass.
Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.
The Descendants This had me at Judy Greer, but adding George Clooney and Alexander Payne into the mix was a nice bonus. Plus there's the fact that Community's very own Dean Pelton (a.k.a. Jim Rash) had a hand in the script. I'd be first in line this weekend to see this, if it had opened here. If I'm lucky, maybe this can be my dessert after Thanksgiving.
Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!
That's all we've got for this week, but fret not. We'll be inundated with Turkey Day releases before you know it!
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