Come one, come all (no pun intended)! Reel Whore is unveiling a new series. Most days I try to please my audience with full-length reviews, but there are times when I only have time to squeeze in A Quickie. What I've discovered is that in this fast-paced world of blogging, tweeting and fly-by-night film voyeurism, sometimes one doesn't even have the time to give a film proper treatment. More importantly, others do not always have the time to read it. To remedy this situation, I've created The Jizt. Like Mr. Owl, The Jizt can knock out a film review in three licks:
A One...
The Build-up: A one-sentence synopsis of the film.
A Two...
The Blurt-out: A random statement one might say as if in the throes of passion.
A Three!..
The Jizt! A one-sentence opinion of the film.
As always, the film's basic information will be provided. I will also list three of its actors. With The Jizt explained, who better to help me demonstrate this new feature than Nicholas Cage with his film which coincidentally releases on DVD today, Knowing.
KnowingRelease: 03.20.09
DVD Release: 07.07.09
Rated PG-13
2 hours, 1 minute
Group Rental
Cast: Nicholas Cage (Wicker Man), Chandler Canterbury (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), Rose Byrne (Sunshine)
The Build-up: A widowed astronomy professor, Koestler, and his son come to possess a fifty-year-old piece of paper full of numbers that foretell humanity's imminent destruction.
The Blurt-out: As a fellow Ford owner, I was comforted knowing the roomy interior and tight turning radius of a mighty F-150 transported Koestler & Co. to the apocalypse with ease.
The Jizt: Knowing Nic Cage's track record, I knew enough to pay only $1.50 to see Knowing, but had I known Knowing was such a mess I'd have been better off blowing the cash at Wendy's, know what I'm saying?
***
Wow! Too bad...I used to really love Nic before these overpuffed failures.
ReplyDeleteLove the new idea--I was thinking of taking a page from Rotten Tomatoes and doing some haiku reviews. Challenging, as I have never written a haiku in my life, lol.
Cage had some winners, but lately you can count on his summer bookend films to be less than spectacular.
ReplyDeleteKnowing is one of those movies that doesn't explain itself well most times and then overkills the explanations other times.
Thanks. I was wondering how the new idea would work. It's tougher than I thought to trim things down into a few sentences. I couldn't even attempt to write haiku reviews! Good luck with that.
I watched it last night. I'm glad I did not pay to see this film. It wasn't horrible but there needed to be a lot more meat on the bone.
ReplyDeleteQuickies are good. Readers like to get more frequent content and short posts are a good way to up the count. Good thinking.
ReplyDelete@film-book- It started out with some good plot development, but then just stopped explaining the logic halfway through. Frustrating.
ReplyDelete@Action Flick Chick- I've wanted to do something like this for a while. It's good for the readers and good for me when I don't have to spend a lot of time on a movie that doesn't merit the attention.
I thought you were on twitter but I can't find you on there. I was going to recommend you to my twitter followers.
ReplyDeleteI do Twitter and would love the shout, it's @waywardjam. Not the most intuitive name.
ReplyDeleteI kept watching hoping it would get better and that the mystery would be explained. It was explained but not satisfactory. I guessed it about a half way through. I was like: it better not be aliens.
ReplyDeleteI could deal with it being aliens. I got tired of watching Cage run around like an idiot.
ReplyDeleteThe beginning was decent though.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant concept, Wayne. Using the Tootsie Pop owl just puts it over the top.
ReplyDeleteSeeing Knowing, however? Bad call.
(Yeah yeah, I haven't seen it yet, but it's Cage - how good could it be?)
Do you realize how funny it is to read your comment while looking at Cage's grinning mug? Priceless.
ReplyDeleteI need to put Mr. Owl back in the description. I found Paul Blart a little lacking w/o his mug.
I only saw Knowing as part of my "Everything Goes" month when I tried to watch every major release in March. I doubt I'll ever do that again!