Ray... This is Walter.

Today the vault continues its month-long build-up to October’s big holiday with Hanks Goodness for Halloween! Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

The 'Burbs

Ray Peterson (Tom Hanks) and his wife Carol (Carrie Fisher) live amongst a circle of quirky neighbors at Mayfield Place; his obnoxious, nosy pal Art (Rick Ducommun), militant veteran Lt. Mark Rumsfield (Bruce Dern) and his wife Bonnie (Wendy Schaal), the snooty geriatric Walter (Gale Gordon) and his dog Queenie, the street’s young punk Ricky Butler (Corey Feldman), and the mysterious new neighbors, the Klopeks. Ray intends to take advantage of the cul-de-sac’s quiet by enjoying his week-long vacation at home. That is, until Art convinces the skeptical Ray of the notion that the Klopeks’ seclusion and the ominous noises emanating from their basement hint to their nefarious natures. The equally curious and suspicious Rumsfield joins Ray and Art as they spend the week snooping into the odd life of Hans (Courtney Gains), Uncle Reuben (Brother Theodore) and the “good” Doctor Werner Klopek (Henry Gibson).

Rendezvous...

Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!

I enjoy watching horror movies most any time of the year, but October gives all of us the perfect excuse to sample all kinds of horrific craziness. The first October Tuesday kicked off my countdown to Halloween with a less than stellar slasher spoof. Before the countdown continues, I’d like to mention that if you’re looking for hardcore horror, I’ve decided to leave those films to our resident horror expert, Jason, and instead tackle other Halloween-worthy features.

Beetlejuice

Adam Maitland (Alec Baldwin) and his wife Barbara (Geena Davis) are celebrating their anniversary with what would be called a stay-cation in the parlance of our times. A quick trip into town for supplies ends with the kind couple careening off the town’s covered bridge and into the afterlife. Death seems peaceful until their home’s new residents, the Deetzes, arrive. Charles (Jeffrey Jones) is looking for peace and quiet, but his high-strung, artistic wife Delia (Catherine O’Hara) and her friend Otho (Glenn Shadix) already have their sights on transforming the rustic home into a modern monstrosity. Charles’ strange and unusual daughter Lydia (Winona Ryder) befriends the Maitlands despite their attempts to scare the Deetzes away. Exasperated by Lydia’s dad and step-mom, Adam and Barbara ignore the advice of their caseworker Juno (Sylvia Sidney) and summon a shady bio-exorcist by the name of Betelgeuse to handle matters.

Rendezvous...

MMM: Were You Expecting...

Some other selection today? I thought you knew me better than that. Enjoy!

Adele - Skyfall

MILF Rendezvous: The Living Daylights

Happy Global James Bond Day, stargazers! My original intent was to review a Kate Winslet film for her birthday, but I’m too big a Bond fan to not commemorate his fiftieth birthday. To solve this conflict in the future, 007 producers need to hire Ms. Winslet to be the next big Bond villain. Phenomenal idea, no? Remember you saw it here first!

The Living Daylights

After surviving an ambushed training exercise in Gibraltar, British Secret Service Agent 007, better known as Bond… James Bond (Timothy Dalton), is assigned to aid Agent Saunders (Thomas Wheatley) in the defection of KBG General Georgi Koskov (Jeroen Krabbé) during a symphony concert. Czechoslovakian cellist/sniper Kara Milovy (Maryam d’Abo), is foiled in her assassination of Koskov during his escape by Bond, but his intuition spares her life. A free Koskov informs MI6 that General Pushkin (John Rhys-Davies) has re-instituted the Smiert Spionam, a.k.a. Death to Spies, initiative. Before he can divulge any further Russian intelligence, Koskov is abducted by Necros (Andreas Wisniewski). M (Robert Brown) orders Bond to kill Pushkin during his upcoming visit to Tangier, but Bond takes a detour back to Bratislava where he befriends Milovy hoping she may have more insight on Koskov’s disappearance and Pushkin’s murderous motives.

Rendezvous...

MILF Rendezvous: Class Reunion

One benefit of being locked in the vault with so many years of movies to choose from is that I get to not only reflect on my past cinematic love affairs, but I can also broaden (or refine) my appreciation for those who made those much-watched films possible. I’ve most enjoyed revisiting the works of John Hughes and have been trying to experience the man’s entire catalog. Being October, I jumped at the chance to watch National Lampoon’s Class Reunion,  Hughes’ spoof of my favorite horror subgenre, the slasher film.

Class Reunion

Lizzie Borden High’s Class of ’72 is assembling back at their ol’ stomping grounds to celebrate their ten-year reunion. As this motley crew gather, an ominous figure skulks through the now dilapidated hallways. After Milt Friedman (Steve Tracy) wrecks the slide show by showing up dead, the alumni are informed by Dr. Robert Young (Michael Lerner) that their old classmate and his patient, Walter Baylor (Blackie Dammett), is the culprit. Walter, traumatized ever since being pranked by jock Bob Spinnaker (Gerrit Graham) and his fellow seniors ten years prior, has escaped the nearby mental institution to exact revenge on his entire graduating class. Trapped inside their crumbling alma mater, a few brave volunteers including the repeatedly forgotten Gary Nash (Fred McCarren) search for a way out as Walter stalks from the shadows.

Rendezvous...

MILF Rendezvous: Brick

As I mentioned at the beginning of September, I’ve had a major hard-on in anticipation of the release of Looper. Today, I can finally have my cinematic urges gratified. Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt working together under the direction of Rian Johnson should be awesome. The question is, will it be as awesome as Johnson and JGL’s first endeavor, Brick?

Brick

Panicked, high school student Emily (Emilie de Ravin) calls her loner ex-beau, Brendan Frye (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), and before he can glean who, or what, has Emily so terrified, she hangs up. After finding her dead body, Brendan with the help of his friend the Brain (Matt O’Leary), begins to shake down everyone from the school’s upper crust like Brad (Brian White) and Laura (Nora Zehetner) to the pie-pan grease like Dode (Noah Segan) to solve her murder. All Brendan’s kicking around puts him in the sights of the Pin (Lukas Haas), head of the local drug trade, and the Pin’s hotheaded muscle, Tugger (Noah Fleiss).

Rendezvous...

MILF Rendezvous: Born in East L.A.

These September Tuesdays, the vault has paid respect to celebrities lost to us this year. To close our In Memorium series I have chosen to honor an actress who has most definitely been seen by anyone who’s ever turned on a television or watched a film. One of my favorite That Ladies, Lupe Ontiveros, who passed away just two months ago.

Born in East L.A.

Rudy (Cheech Marin) is a mechanic born and raised in East Los Angeles. Rudy still lives with his mom (Lupe Ontiveros) who, as she leaves for Fresno, asks him to pick up his cousin Javier (Paul Rodriguez) from the factory. Simple enough until La Migra, that’s the INS, a.k.a. the United States Immigration and Naturalization Services, raid the factory and toss Rudy into the truck along with the factory’s undocumented workers. Having left his wallet at home, Rudy’s dumped in Tijuana where his American attitude and poor Spanish language only get him into more trouble. That is until he meets Jimmy (Daniel Stern), an American expatriate hustler who can get him back across the border, but only once Rudy works off Jimmy’s fee.

Rendezvous...