Friday, April 29, 2011

Trailer Trash: The April 29th Quickie

April is at an end and that means the summer movies are right around the corner. Remember when the big blockbusters actually didn't open until June, or at least Memorial Day?  Thems were the days. For today IMDb reports there are three new releases. I've also added one of this week's limited films into my analysis, one which opens here today and that I've been anxiously awaiting. Let's take a look, shall we?

Fast Five  "Why'd you drag us halfway around the world?"
"Cuz we got a job."
And that's starring in the only franchise that'll have any of you. Diesel's dialogue delivery looks more excruciating than ever, but name one person who has seen the trailer and doesn't want to know how that Thelma & Louise car jump ends? I also want to see if anyone can pry that rabid chinchilla from The Rock's face.

Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

 Prom This looks to be the most inoffensive, agreeable, coming-of-age film imaginable. I'm sure it will be a pleasant movie-going experience, although it would be equally enjoyable watching it where it belongs; the Disney channel. I'd never intentionally seek out Prom, but I doubt it'd make me divulge my darkest secrets, or the contents of my stomach, if forced to watch it.

Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil It's amazing the crap that spawns sequels nowadays. I've seen stick figure animation that looks a thousand times better. Even worse, it plays like a Kill Bill rip-off with bathroom humor and crotch-kicking filling in the gaps where a decent, kid-friendly story should be.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night I didn't realize this is based on a comic book, but what isn't lately? Dylan Dog looks like Blade with a little more tongue-in-cheek humor. I'm glad Brandon Routh is back, front and center, on the big screen. He's a good actor who doesn't deserve the stigma Superman Returns earned him. Can't wait to see him lay the smack down on some creatures of the night.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!

Today's not over yet. If I have my ducks in a row like I think I do, expect another post. If I, somehow, turn into my usual slack self, enjoy your weekend!

Large Association of Movie Blogs

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