In this fast-paced world of blogging, tweeting and fly-by-night film voyeurism, sometimes one doesn't have the time to give a film proper treatment. More importantly, others do not always have the time to read it. Sometimes you just have to take it around back and squeeze one out in 1-2-3 quick licks.
Think of The Jizt as the wham, bam, thank you ma'am of reviews.
***
The Ghost Writer
Release: 02.19.10 limited
Rated PG-13
2 hours, 8 minutes
Full Price
Cast: Ewan McGregor (Stay), Pierce Brosnan (The Matador), Olivia Williams (An Education)
The Build-up: Contracted to polish the memoirs of former British Prime Minister Adam Lang, the Ghost becomes fixated on the circumstances surrounding his predecessor's death.
The Blurt-out: I'm not sure Eli Wallach was cast or, by complete coincidence, owned the beach house used on location, but it worked either way.
The Jizt: This tautly directed and excellently performed mystery keeps the cat in the bag and audiences on the edges of their seats until the very end.
"I don't need a ghost writer to help me with the Jizt, so bugger off!"***
Terribly Happy (Frygtelig lykkelig) Release: 02.05.10 limited
Rated UR
1 hour, 30 minutes
Full Price
Cast: Jakob Cedergren, Lene Maria Christensen, Kim Bodnia
The Build-up: After marshal Robert Hansen goes a little crazy in Copenhagen, he is relocated to the insular farming town of Skarrild where he appears to be the only sane one.
The Blurt-out: If you've been feening for a movie where folks smack children, commit adultery and play cards on the regular, this should be the must-see event of your year!
The Jizt: The dreariness of the bog pales in comparison to the desperate situations the marshal mires himself in, yet you'll be the one glued to the spot as the story unfolds.
"Just one moment more, sir. I've nearly got the Jizt."***
GreenbergRelease: 03.26.10 limited
Rated R
1 hour, 47 minutes
Full Price
Cast: Ben Stiller (The Royal Tenenbaums), Greta Gerwig (Baghead), Rhys Ifans (Notting Hill)
The Build-up: Emotionally fragile Roger Greenberg returns to Los Angeles to house-sit for his brother, but secretly hopes to mend the broken connections in his life.
The Blurt-out: Had Greenberg seen Florence in her pre-hospital duds, I wonder if his attraction would have remained as strong.
The Jizt: Look beyond the unlikeable facade of these characters to discover the latest disturbingly funny and emotionally poignant coming-of-age story from the mind of writer-director Noah Baumbach.
"When subjected to the Jizt, I always wear adequate eye protection."***
Release: 01.08.10
Rated R
1 hour, 30 minutes
Group Rental
The Blurt-out: I'm fairly certain Zach Galifiankis's brief appearance was because he jumped this shit-ship the moment The Hangover opened at number one at the box office.
The Jizt: It takes some amazingly disjointed filmmaking to effectively neutralize, nay degrade, the movie-redeeming charms of Michael Cera.
