Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Give Them a Gift They Can Use

Hey, stargazers! I wasn't too active over the Thanksgiving holiday. After stuffing loads of turkey and fixins down my gullet, I beached my rapidly expanding ass upon the couch to sift through the mini rain forest of advertisements that came with the newspaper.

I had no intention of actually fighting the Black Friday crowds, but I was curious to see what awesome deals I would be missing. It wasn't until the fifty-seventh ad that I ran across this:

Sorry, the original ad was no longer available, but the price is still the same.

O-M-F-G! Seriously?! Christmas is always a time when stores try and hock crazy loot as "the perfect stocking stuffers," but who the fuck needs this happy horseshit? Actually, if you know someone who needs this, maybe you should consider stuffing their stocking with this instead:

Or some similar book, program or series of steps. I don't think I'm being irrational. I'd almost dismiss the personal breathalyzer as a gag gift except I'd never pay fifty simoleons for a joke. Five easily, maybe fifteen if it were really funny, but no way in hell I'm shelling out fifty!

Maybe I'm just overreacting, but this has to be the craziest thing I've seen advertised since the Snuggie.

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