Friday, August 10, 2012

MILF Rendezvous: Parenthood

If you missed Tuesday’s announcement, the vault’s gone gaga over all things baby. With my own little house ape preparing to slip into the cold light of day, there’s a whole new world of responsibilities coming my way. Since the movies teach us so much, I turn to Parenthood to address those forthcoming parental woes.


Frank Buckman (Jason Robards) married Marilyn (Eileen Ryan) and begat Gil (Steve Martin), Helen (Dianne Weist), Susan (Harley Jane Kozak), and Larry (Tom Hulce). Gil worries he’ll be as terrible a father as Frank, but that didn’t stop him from begatting Kevin (Jasen Fisher), Taylor (Alisan Porter) and Justin (Zachary La Voy) with his wife Karen (Mary Steenburgen). Gil’s scrambling to earn a promotion at work while coaching Little League in an effort to keep Kevin out of special school.

Helen is a struggling single mother with no hope of a social life thanks to her two kids and deadbeat ex-husband. She’s at her wit’s end trying to raise the reclusive Garry (Joaquin “Leaf” Phoenix) and keep his older, headstrong sister, Julie (Martha Plimpton) away from That Tod (Keanu Reeves) before she goes and does something stupid like choose marriage over college.

Since the birth of Patty (Ivyann Schwan), there’s been no time in Nathan’s (Rick Moranis) strict parenting regimine for him and Susan to be intimate. Amidst all this, Larry returns and announces that Cool (Alex Burrall) is the result of his begatting with a Vegas showgirl. The return of the prodigal son to his parent’s tiny abode forces Grandma (Helen Shaw) to be shuffled between the home of his siblings. Welcome to the world of the Buckmans.

Rendezvous...

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