Saturday, September 15, 2012

MILF Rendezvous: Resident Evil

Today marks the release of the thirty-seventh installment of the Resident Evil film series. I kid. The latest, Resident Evil: Retribution, is only the fifth of the video-game-adapted-into-surprisingly-successful franchise. Being as I’m in the minority of cinephiles who, like a moth to a flame,  inexplicably returns to be burned by the latest, increasingly subpar chapter, I am certainly qualified to critique the original that has infected my judgement.


When a thief steals the experimental T-virus and purposefully contaminates an underground genetic research facility known as the Hive, its computer-controlled security system, the Red Queen (Michaela Dicker), initiates lock-down. Commandos, led by One (Colin Salmon), infiltrate the Hive’s emergency entrance where they apprehend a local cop, Matt (Eric Mabius), and unsuccessfully attempt a sitrep with the Hive’s undercover security agents, a young woman (Milla Jovovich) and her “husband”, Spence (James Purefoy), who suffer from short-term memory loss as part of the lock-down measures. Together, they infiltrate the Hive to discover what activated the security measures, but only one seems prepared for the repercussions and she needs her memory back first.

Rendezvous...

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