MILF Rendezvous: The Eiger Sanction

Week three of the vault’s In Memorium series focuses on the work of producer Richard D. Zanuck who passed away two months ago. Zanuck is responsible for such classics as Jaws and Driving Miss Daisy. His more recent memorable films include Road to Perdition, Big Fish, and Sweeney Todd. His career featured many movies to choose from, but when I saw he was executive producer on one of the few Clint Eastwood films I’d never seen, I had the perfect selection.

The Eiger Sanction

Dr. Jonathan Hemlock (Clint Eastwood) is a man of many talents; art professor, collector of black market masterpieces, accomplished mountaineer, and retired assassin. Hemlock is content lecturing to lascivious young coeds, but his old employer C2, a secret government agency headed by Mr. Dragon (Thayer David), insists he return for two more sanctions, or hits. Dragon convinces Hemlock to return by first leveraging his illegal art collection then by playing on his sympathies for a fellow assassin and close friend. For his second hit, the “Eiger Sanction,” Hemlock must train with his old buddy Ben Bowman (George Kennedy). Bowman is also the ground man for the impending north face Eiger climb. Replacing the team’s American climber, Hemlock joins three other mountaineers, Freytag (Reiner Schöne), Meyer (Michael Grimm), and Montaigne (Jean-Pierre Bernard), any one of which could be the killer he seeks.

Rendezvous...

MILF Rendezvous: Resident Evil

Today marks the release of the thirty-seventh installment of the Resident Evil film series. I kid. The latest, Resident Evil: Retribution, is only the fifth of the video-game-adapted-into-surprisingly-successful franchise. Being as I’m in the minority of cinephiles who, like a moth to a flame,  inexplicably returns to be burned by the latest, increasingly subpar chapter, I am certainly qualified to critique the original that has infected my judgement.

Resident Evil

When a thief steals the experimental T-virus and purposefully contaminates an underground genetic research facility known as the Hive, its computer-controlled security system, the Red Queen (Michaela Dicker), initiates lock-down. Commandos, led by One (Colin Salmon), infiltrate the Hive’s emergency entrance where they apprehend a local cop, Matt (Eric Mabius), and unsuccessfully attempt a sitrep with the Hive’s undercover security agents, a young woman (Milla Jovovich) and her “husband”, Spence (James Purefoy), who suffer from short-term memory loss as part of the lock-down measures. Together, they infiltrate the Hive to discover what activated the security measures, but only one seems prepared for the repercussions and she needs her memory back first.

Rendezvous...

MILF Rendezvous: Sleepless in Seattle

Tuesdays in September here in the vault have been designated as an In Memorium series featuring celebrities lost in 2012. Today I’d like to shine a light on writer, producer, director Nora Ephron by covering her highest-grossing feature.

Sleepless in Seattle

On Christmas Eve, a year and a half after losing his mother to cancer, Jonah Baldwin (Ross Malinger) calls up a national talk radio program in search of a new wife for his despondent father, Sam (Tom Hanks). The heartbreaking story told by Sam, dubbed Sleepless in Seattle by the host, infatuates hundreds of impassioned women across the country, including recently engaged Baltimore reporter, Annie Reed (Meg Ryan). Annie’s deeply in love with her delicate beau Walter (Bill Pullman), but finds herself drawn, as if by magic, to this somber man she’s never met.

Rendezvous...

MMM: Say It Ain't So

It's Monday. I'm tired. No upcoming holidays to look forward to. Say it ain't so.

Weezer - Say It Ain't So

Sure, the song isn't really about my sentiment, but whatever works.

MILF Rendezvous: Shadowboxer

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MILF Rendezvous: The Last Boy Scout

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MILF Rendezvous: Three Fugitives

We’ve reached the end of August which brings to a close the vault’s month-long coverage of all movies baby. I had hoped to end the series with a bang, but like roadside fireworks, you don’t know if it will fizzle until you try it.

Three Fugitives

After a five-year stint at McNeil Island Prison for fourteen counts of armed robbery, Daniel Lucas (Nick Nolte) is released with a check for $1,740 in his pocket for all his work at the prison laundry. Lucas is greeted at the pier by his arresting detective Dugan (James Earl Jones) and Dugan’s partner, Tener (Alan Ruck). Fully expecting Lucas to slip back into his old thieving ways, Dugan jokingly drives Lucas to a bank. Dugan’s jovial grin disappears when he’s called to an in-progress robbery of the very bank he just left. With the heist botched, Lucas confronts the teams of police, not as the perpetrator, but as the hostage of the actual inept thief, Ned Perry (Martin Short).

Rendezvous...