Monday, August 4, 2008

Eye-Poppin' Fun!

The Midnight Meat Train

Release: 08.01.2008
Rated R
1 hour, 25 minutes

Matinee ($$$)

Leon (Bradley Cooper, Wedding Crashers) is a New York photographer looking to make it into the big league, fancy-schmancy art world. His girlfriend Maya (Leslie Bibb, Iron Man), has this buddy, Jurgis (Roger Bart, The Producers), who connects Leon to art dealer Susan Hoff (Brooke Shields, Blue Lagoon). She encourages Leon to master his fear and capture the real heart of the city. On her advice, Leon begins skulking the streets in the wee hours, finally settling on stalking a rather intimidating man (Vinnie Jones, Snatch). Leon becomes obsessed with discovering whether this butcher-by-day is also a murderer by night.

The Midnight Meat Train is the kind of horror flick you can really get into if you don't scrutinize it too much. It's also the kind of horror flick that relies on smart people doing really idiotic things to put themselves in harm's way. Leon is a very put-together guy whose encounter with the towering mystery man drives him into a compulsive insanity. Personally, if a behemoth of a man like Vinnie Jones catches me following him and shoots me down with his death stare, I'd run the other way and never look back -- after I shit myself out of pure terror. Leon is either made of stronger stuff or has some other deep-rooted issues, neither of which is prefaced by his character's development. Likewise, Maya's missteps and misgivings about her boyfriend's new stalking hobby stray from her previously established characterization. Leon also experiences a few violent dream sequences that seem ill-placed during the continuity of the plot's progression.

Dirty Undies
Enough hyperanalysis of
execution and character motivation! Meat Train delivers on its premise and then some. A big bad-ass dude in a dapper suit waits until he and a scant few passengers board the late train; then he pulls out a hella huge stainless steel mallet and bashes their fucking brains in. Blood, brains and body parts splatter the walls and floor of the Meat Train, and the butcher methodically preps naked bodies for Heaven knows what. The climatic encounter between Leon and the butcher is brutal and amusing all at once. The deluge of gore and violence is great sadistic fun.

The Money Shot
With its laughable title, Midnight Meat Train delivers exactly what it promises with little added frills or fluff. It's not a film for the squeamish or for those of discerning tastes, but it is one hell of a ride.

Large Association of Movie Blogs


  1. Agreed! It was much more fun than the studio is giving it credit for. I think it would have found an audience if people 1) knew it was even out, and 2) were given half the chance to see it before they blow it out of theatres.

  2. It's a shame and a scandal what Lionsgate has done to this flick. It's already dropped to two shows a day here at the only theater that has it. How disappointing.

  3. The first two act for this film were fraking GREAT. Great kills, great camera work. The mood was set right, good protagonist, great antagonist.

    I sat watching and was like: YES!!!!

    I've got to type up my review for it.

    Man was this horror movie a breath of fresh air.

    Lionsgate is turning in Miramax I fear.

  4. Seems like everyone who sees it has no huge regrets. They greenlight yet another Saw for the big screen but toss this in a corner?!

  5. SAW is bankable, thats why. Meat is an unknown quantity to them.

  6. I've yet to see V, but after Saw IV I wouldn't have banked on any more business from the series.

  7. They are making another one for next Halloween. I can't believe it.

  8. I'll be seeing V soon. My buddy said it was actually one of the better installments they've done. It can't be worse than IV.

  9. I love that part in III or IV with the rotting pigs and the huge blender.

  10. Oh yeah, the Judge and the pig juices, nasty fun! That was Part III which I really enjoyed. I, II and III were all good to me. It was IV that just got all weird with the twisty timeline and too much Donnie Wahlberg.

  11. Part III. Right.

    Too bad it was bullshit because he was almost completely clean afterward.

  12. Ain't that a bitch when someone gets drenched, bloodied or all gooed up only to be back to normal a minute later? It's called continuity people!