2 hours, 43 minutes
See It, Take a Friend, Buy the DVD!
In the city, a Comedian laughs one final time as he is murdered. In a research lab, an irradiated scientist worries that the Russians may begin a nuclear holocaust to end all humanity, not realizing that he is slowly losing his own. A retired hero pines for a return to his former glory and past friendships. A brilliant entrepreneur works to end man's reliance on fossil fuels in the hope of ushering in a new era of peace. A lover's patience is pushed to the limits while her heart is pulled to another man. All the while, one man in a mask stalks the streets exacting justice and searching for answers to a conspiracy only he imagines. These are the Watchmen. They watch over us. The question remains:
Who Watches the Watchmen?
...are fans of comic books.
...enjoy serious, thought-provoking superhero films; the antithesis of The Fantastic Four.
...can tolerate the somewhat stunted acting of Malin Ackerman (27 Dresses).
...can forgive the haphazardly applied aging makeup.
...drool uncontrollably over astounding special effects.
...can vibe along with a phenomenal soundtrack.
...miss the eighties, and watching Max Headroom (Matt Frewer, Dawn of the Dead).
...always felt Nixon got a bum rap.
...enjoy seeing men and women in form-fitting latex suits.
...love watching violent and deviant acts perpetrated on their fellow man.
...try to see every film Jackie Earle Haley (Little Children) ever released.
...have bladders and tailbones that can withstand the pressure from three hours of sitting.
...can stomach bones snapping and people popping like overinflated luftballoons.
...want to know what Patrick Wilson's (Lakeview Terrace) ass would look like after ten years of marriage.
...want to see what kind of pipe the Blue Man Group swings under their turtlenecks.
...like a little softcore action mixed into their R-rated movies.
...don't care that Hitler's pissed they deviated from the original ending. (Spoiler Link!)
The Money Shot
The original graphic novel illustrates how superheroes in all their virtue, would realistically act when accounting for their accompanying vices. Zack Snyder's (300) theatrical version may not follow every detail to the letter, but the spirit is ever-present. The few corners cut in making the film keep it from being the best superhero movie ever, but they weren't terrible enough for me to knock it down to a Full Price rating.
Friday, March 13, 2009