LAMB MOTM: Revolver

Revolver


Original Release: 12.07.07
Rated R
1 hour, 55 minutes

Rating: See below



Jake Green (Jason Statham, Transporter) has been released from prison after seven years. He wants to even the score against gangster casino owner Dorothy Macha (Ray Liotta, Slow Burn) for sending him up, but waits. Two years later, a now wealthy Jake embarrasses Macha in a game of chance, learns a fatal disease will kill him in three days and meets Zach (Vincent Pastore, Serving Sara)and Avi (Andre Benjamin, Be Cool). The two men promise to eliminate the threat of death from disease and Macha if he'll give them all his money and do everything they say for three days. Let the games begin.

I'm a fan of writer-director Guy Ritchie's Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch. I figured Revolver couldn't be as bad as the murmurings on the web said. Turns out, the film is all murmuring. Statham's greasy mop wig and scruffy handlebar mustache must have hindered his speech because I barely understood a word he said. Ten minutes in, I turned on subtitles to decipher the gravelly tenor of his voice. I couldn't imagine listening to this in theaters. The mumbling wouldn't have been so distracting except Revolver relies heavily on Statham to explain the plot. His words get clearer, but only as the story becomes more muddled.

I'm not knocking Statham, Jake Green is more nuanced than many of his recent characters and he handles the depth admirably. Liotta, prone to hamming it up, is excellent as the high-strung, hot-headed gangster as well.

Twenty or so minutes into Revolver, I got the impression Ritchie was trying to attain a new level in his film making. Liotta standing alone in a grandiose hall, or standing naked in a blue-hued tanning room seemingly begged for respect of its brilliant vision. Experimentation with animation looked cool but seemed more random than purposeful. Ritchie overshoots his lofty aspirations with an abuse of style over substance.

Dirty Undies
The coolest and most outrageous character is Macha's hitman Sorter (Mark Strong, Stardust). He has a knack for killing folks with one shot, no matter how insane that shot may be. Gunblasting battles are the bulk of the film's violent moments. The strongest scene is a pinned down, blood-splattered Liotta watching a nearly dead assassin finish her job. Liotta repeatedly steals the show with either his violence, nudity or foul mouth.

The Money Shot
Revolver is a film that had it's moments. When it ended, I felt there was a greater meaning I may have missed. Then again, watching it again to glean that meaning wasn't worth the effort. Simply put, the subject matter far outreached the abilities of the storyteller. My mildly positive opinion of Revolver continues its downward spiral.

As for its designation in the annals of the LAMB MOTM; Reel Whore gives Revolver LAMB Loathe. Check out who else feels the way I do.

LAMB MOTM: EuroTrip

Stargazers, I finally got off my duff and managed to contribute to the LAMB MOTM (that's Movie of the Month to you!). Actually, I wrote my post for the inaugural selection, The Big Lebowski, back in June. I just happened to write it one day too late. No matter, I am turning over a new leaf with the September MOTM:

EUROTRIP

Original Release: 02.20.2004
Rated R
1 hour, 33 minutes

Rating: See below





Predictable Scott Thomas (Scott Mechlowicz, TV: House) already has his summer job lined up, his college enrollment is complete, he's even planned for his girlfriend, Fiona (Kristin Kreuk, TV: Smallville), to attend college with him. But Fiona dumps him at graduation and everyone, both family and friends, hears about it. On the bright side, Scott discovers his German penpal, Mieke (Jessica Boehrs), is a smokin' hot chick. Too bad he thought she was a dude when he emailed to say never contact him again. On the advice of his best friend, Cooper (Jacob Pitts, 21), Scott is convinced the simplest way to reopen communication with his potential soulmate is to go to Germany. Naturally, this last-minute plan is complicated, requiring the boys to fly into London, where they meet up with their friends, twins Jamie (Travis Webster, TV: On the Lot) and Jenny (Michelle Trachtenberg, Ice Princess).

EuroTrip follows in the tried and true tradition of road trip comedies. Guy wants (insert VHS tape/White Castle/girl), object of affection is far away, guy embarks on simple road trip, trip turns needlessly zany and ridiculous. The nuance in EuroTrip is that this road trip takes place in Europe. Scott and his friends traverse London, Paris, Amsterdam, Bratislava, Berlin and Rome via plane, train and automobiles (including a bus full of soccer hooligans) just so Scott can find Mieke.

Would it have been easier for Scott to just create a new email address to contact Mieke after his primary account was blocked? Yes. But where's the fun in that? The fun is watching Scott get into a robot-dance battle with a street performer in Paris. The fun is watching Cooper and Jamie experience the sexual freedom of Amsterdam. The fun is watching the group be accosted by a creepy Italian guy (Fred Armisen, Baby Mama) on a train.

The other fun element of EuroTrip is the cameos. Lucy Lawless (Spider-Man) appears as Madame Vandersexxx and Vinnie Jones plays Mad Maynard, a soccer hooligan with some seriously strong eyelids. I didn't even mention the greatest cameo by Spank Bank inductee Matt Damon. I won't give you any details, but his two minutes of screentime alone is worth the rental.

Dirty Undies
Zany adventures and unbelievable plotlines not for you? How about more bare breasts than you can shake a stick at? And speaking of shaking sticks, EuroTrip has more dong than you would ever expect to see in a non-pornographic film. Sadly, neither The Trach nor her male associates go nude, so you'll have to find those images elsewhere (and let me know when you do find them). EuroTrip not only basks in its R rating, but whole-heartedly acknowledges it; the unrated DVD even boasts a menu to queue the nude scenes for that quick fix.

The Money Shot
By now it's clear that EuroTrip isn't ground-breaking cinema. Things like the Green Fairy and the Vatican debacle are too silly, if that's possible. However, it is a worthy inductee into the halls of venerated road trip comedies and definitely worth a little more than a matinee admission.

As for its designation in the annals of the LAMB MOTM; Reel Whore gives EuroTrip LAMB Love. Check out who else feels the way I do.

That, and a Pair of Testicles.

The Big Lebowski

Original Release: 03.06.1998
Rated R
1 hour, 57 minutes


FULL PRICE ($$$$)




I am writing this because it was supposed to be a contribution to the LAMB Movie of the Month. Even though I am a day late and dollar short from being listed as a bonafide contributor, this is one film that deserves a few words.

If you haven't figured it out by the Dirty Undies subsection in my reviews or the Que Ridiculo! Award in my Confessions of a Reel Whore year-in-review segment, I'm what you call a fanatic of this particular Coen Brothers masterpiece. If you're like Donny and have no frame of reference for the film I am speaking of - and if you didn't get that reference, it's obvious you're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know - I am speaking, of course, about The Big Lebowski.

Jeffrey Lebowski, a.k.a. The Dude (Jeff Bridges, The Fisher King), is an easy breezy guy who spends his time bowling with his best buds Walter (John Goodman, Raising Arizona) and Donny (Steve Buscemi, Big Fish), drinking White Russians and adhering to a pretty strict drug regimen to keep his mind limber. One day the Dude returns home to be attacked by two men looking to collect money for debts his 'wife' Bunny Lebowski has incurred all over town. The Dude convinces these guys that it is all a case of mistaken identity. The Dude decides this aggression will not stand and seeks reparation from the other Jeffrey Lebowski. This mundane request ripples through the Dude's peaceful existence, introducing a barrage of eccentric characters, outrageous situations and a few drug-induced hallucinations. And to think, all Dude ever wanted was his rug back.

The Big Lebowski is the Coen Brothers' Bohemian Rhapsody!

There. I said it. A pretty bold statement to be sure, but one that is well deserving. To me, The Big Lebowski was that film project that the Coen Brothers knew was golden despite warnings to the contrary. There's no argument that it's a comedy, but it's got a smidgen of mystery, a touch of western flavor, and an astounding amount of poetry, both verbal and visual. I discover something new with every viewing. The Big Lebowski is just layer upon layer of detail. It's storytelling and direction at their greatest.

But the Coen Brothers wonderful style alone isn't what makes this movie click. The actors are phenomenal. I'd say that the Dude is the greatest role of Jeff Bridges' career. John Goodman's Walter - insanely fun. Julianne Moore (The Ladies Man) has a wealth of strong characters in her cv, but Maude rests in the top five. And John Turturro (Barton Fink) as fucking Jesus Quintana?! I gotta say, nobody fucks with the Jesus!




Also, the film features some great 'that guys' such as Jon Polito (Crow) and Peter Stormare (Constantine), a then up-and-coming Philip Seymour Hoffman (Flawless), and the rising-star- before-the-fall Tara Reid (American Pie). Plus, who doesn't love any excuse to see Sam Elliott (Road House)?

Dirty Undies
"It's my dirty undies, Dude, the whites." That line spawned this segment so it's only fair I mention it. Why do I use it? Well, according to IMDB, the word Fuck is used 281 times in the movie; that's 2.4 times per minute. Not too shabby. Lebowski's got drug and alcohol use. It's got nudity. It's got naked porn superstar Asia Carrera. It's a little bloody. It's violent. Hell, it's got violent animals!

The Money Shot
I could probably write for a week on what The Big Lebowski means to me and what it should mean to you. The point is, it's a great fucking movie, and it's just a crying fucking shame if you've never seen it. I had the pleasure of seeing it on the big screen for the first time just a few weeks back. I still noticed something new. I still loved it. If you get the chance to see it, you may not get the true retro vibe of seeing preivews for Under the Cherry Moon, King Ralph, and Tucker: The Man and his Dream, but The Big Lebowski will still be entertaining without them.