MILF Rendezvous: Undercover Blues

Faithful readers of the vault may have noticed my slight fascination with birthdays. Second to making connections to up-and-coming theatrical releases, it’s an easy way to identify potential inductees and celebrate a milestone for a celebrity that stargazers admire. One day this month will set a milestone for me as the wife and I introduce a new cinephile into the world. In honor of such a momentous occasion, the rest of August will be all about babies. If you have a favorite, I’ll add it to the queue.

Undercover Blues

Jefferson ‘Jeff’ Blue (Dennis Quaid) and Jane Blue (Kathleen Turner) are nonchalant spies and new parents relaxing in New Orleans. Their extended maternity leave is cut short when their boss, Frank (Richard Jenkins), begs them to take an assignment to recover C-22, an experimental plastic explosive, and apprehend the crafty and elusive Paulina Novacek (Fiona Shaw). They begrudgingly accept, but with police detectives Lt. Ted Sawyer (Obba Babatundé) and Sgt. Ed Halsey (Larry Miller) hounding Jeff for his recent altercation with the town’s renown mugger, el Muerte (Stanley Tucci), the Blues have a lot of balls in the air.

Rendezvous...

MMM: Expanding Cultural Horizons

The history of the band responsible for today's selection needs more explanation than I care to give. Thankfully, Wikipedia has a lengthy explanation behind the phenomenon that is AKB48. For those too lazy to delve into the full version, here's the short of it:

AKB48 is a girl group with 64 members based on the concept of "idols you can meet." The girls, who are from ages fourteen to twenty and over, are broken into four teams of 16 and they perform live every day at their own theater in Akihabara, Tokyo (btw, it's the source of their name A-K-B). They have become insanely popular in Japan and the concept, and the girls, are expanding worldwide.

This week's selection is AKB48's seventeenth single from 2010. Enjoy!

AKB48 - Heavy Rotation

Their appeal really is a mystery, isn't it?

MILF Rendezvous: Total Recall

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Trailer Trash: August 3 of 2012

July is behind us and as summer winds down, so does the flow of interesting summer movies. August does till hold a few enticing options, but it appears to be starting off with a whimper.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days  The term 'dog days' means a period of sluggishness. I can't think of a better title to associate with a series that's worn out it's welcome so quickly. Even by the poster looks tired and uninspired. Maybe one day I'll give these movies a chance. After all, if Steve Zahn is in them they can't be all that bad... 
right? 

Verdict:  Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy. 

Total Recall Bad buzz surrounding the Recall remake is flooding the internets today, but who cares. Didn't we all know there was no way it'd live up to the awesomely violent goodness of the original? Absolutely. It still doesn't mean that Colin Farrell, Bokeem Woodbine, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, and Bryan Cranston won't give us plenty of action-packed scene-chewing to enjoy. Considering I've seen ever other movie that's in theaters now, I'm game.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!  

Slim pickings and guilty pleasures all around, might be time to check the art house theater for something with a little more substance. 

MILF Rendezvous: Blade

Today Wesley Snipes celebrates his fiftieth birthday… from prison. Today also marks the end of the vault’s month-long fixation with the superhero genre. As the old saying goes, let’s kill two vampires with one stake, or something like that.

Blade

Deacon Frost (Stephen Dorff) believes humans are little more than cattle and vampires like himself are the top of the fucking food chain, or so he tells his nemesis Blade (Wesley Snipes). Neither fully human nor fully vampire, Blade, known to vampires as the Daywalker, has all of their strengths while suffering few of their weaknesses. With the help of the grizzled Whistler (Kris Kristofferson), he strikes silver-tipped fear into the undead hearts of these suckheads. Frost intends to end Blade’s crusade of annihilation by awakening the prophesied Blood God, La Magra.

Rendezvous...

MILF Rendezvous: Mystery Men

In the newly released The Watch, Ben Stiller assembles a team to patrol the streets and make their neighborhood safe. With the movie’s interweb buzz being none too positive, I can’t help but wonder if Stiller should have taken some queues from his 90s playbook. His rage-filled Mr. Furious would have accepted nothing less than a moderately entertaining affair from his colleagues.

Mystery Men

Thanks to the courageous and effective efforts of Captain Amazing (Greg Kinnear), Champion City is practically crime free. Good news for the citizens, but not so good for the fledgling superhero trio of Mr. Furious (Ben Stiller), Shoveler (William H. Macy), and the Blue Raja (Hank Azaria). It’s also bad for the Captain who decides to increase his public image and lucrative endorsements by using alter ego, lawyer Lance Hunt, to convince the parole board to release the deranged supervillain, Casanova Frankenstein (Geoffrey Rush). When the Captain’s plan backfires, only Mr. Furious knows he’s a prisoner of Frankenstein, and it’s up to him and his friends to save Captain Amazing and Champion City from the madman’s clutches.

Rendezvous...

MMM: Twofer, not to be confused with Keith Powell

First off, kudos to those of you who get the title reference. If you don't, get with the times, although I could say the same of myself considering I was a slacker and didn't post a Monday Mood Music last week. Today I remedy this by posting not one, but two awesome tunes I heard in succession last week on my local station.

One is off the new album from the well-known Jack White, but the first is from Apollo Cobra, a band that's new to me, but will soon be joining my extensive mp3 collection. I hope they'll make it into yours too. Enjoy!

Apollo Cobra - Shut Up

Jack White - I'm Shakin'