Thursday, March 27, 2008

Trailer Trash: The Incredible Hulk

I saw The Incredible Hulk trailer on my PC a few weeks back. Two weeks ago, I got the big screen treatment on the front-end of Doomsday. Just last week at Drillbit Taylor, I was treated to my third viewing. I can't hold back any longer! In ten frames, here's my thoughts on The Incredible Hulk:

"I've got a problem."

I'll say! You've got to save a comic franchise from the furtherest depths of suck. At least Edward Norton fits the bill of tragic scientist Bruce Banner more so than Bana. Oh wait, we aren't supposed to mention that other movie are we?

Green means go! Hells yeah!

Hulk Smash! This is shaping up nicely.

"What is my motivation as Betty Ross?"
Um, well. You see you're... She is...
"Am I here just to be pretty?"
That's right Ms. Tyler. Keep up the good work.

Couldn't we have at least kept Sam Elliot as Thunderbolt Ross?!
Fine, fine. I'll stop bringing up the first stinker.

"What the hell was that?"

My thoughts exactly. I'm starting to miss Nick Nolte's Absorbing Man.

Bruce Fall. Bruce Crash. Guess it takes a lot to make him mad nowadays. This is a great teaser ending to the...

What?! It's not over?!?

"Mommy, why does the Hulk still look hella lame?"
"I don't know Timmy. I thought they learned the last time."
"Yeah, right lady. All those Strongman competitors, wrestlers and HGH-infused baseball players out there and we get stuck with another Crayola Creation. Genius."

"RRRAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!"
"Hulk Mad! Hulk look like used Douche!"
"Crappy CG Hulk Want Smash Crappy CG Things."

This looks familiar. Oh yeah, it's one of the most cliché action sequences created since the advent of CG (Thanks, Matrix). Maybe Hulk and Abomination can do a nice slow-motion walk down the street when the fight is over.

***

This trailer started so full of promise. It was like bungee jumping with regular rope. How complicated would filming have been with a real person as the Hulk? They managed it for years on TV! Still, it really can't suck as hard as
Hulk 2003? Can it?!

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

2 comments:

  1. I totally concur. We need a "REAL" hulk all the way. CGI and bad fantasy fight scenes were not needed in this film. For the Hulk to be believable first he has to be real! I know it's a stretch to truly believe a person could really turn into an overgrown green giant with a heart, but hell, I believed he was real when I was a kid. It's sad that the young people of today won't get that experience.

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  2. Hulk CGI. Hulk Sad. Hulk Cry now.

    Maybe they'll have a real Hulk in the third attempt to do this movie right!

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