With Prince Caspian releasing this weekend, I am comforted knowing that I will use my complimentary IMAX tickets to instead enjoy Speed Racer, which has been garnering decent praise from some of the LAMBs. You may ask, but Whore, why do you not get all moist and tingly at the latest addition to the realm of Narnia? If you didn’t notice the trepidation in my May Trailer Trash, here’s a taste of the sourness left in my mouth by the flagship film of this series.
Rated PG; 2 hours, 23 minutes
Second-Run Seats ($$) <> Matinee ($$$)
The Pevensie children, Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy, are sent to live with Professor Kirke (Jim Broadbent, Iris) in his country home to keep them safe during World War II. While playing hide and go seek, Lucy, the youngest child, uncovers a wardrobe and discovers it to be a doorway into the
Director Andrew Adamson (Shrek) takes the adapted screenplay of the C.S. Lewis book and does (what we assume to be) his best to bring the mystical
Ultimately, the major dilemma with the realm of Narnia is its shallowness. The characters and the story’s history are severely underdeveloped. From the confusing opening moments of the film, in which the Pevensies run for cover during a German air raid, you begin to wonder if this is the magical movie advertised over the last few months. This frantic opening pace quickly settles into a lengthy, somewhat plodding exposition on the superficial characteristics of Narnia. Very little is done in the way of providing stimulating conflict or tension with our little heroes. Some of the blame lies with the young cast’s marginal acting, but much of the responsibility should fall on the shoulders of the director and his producers who couldn’t sense the lack of heart in their final product. On the plus side, Georgie Henley is simply a delight as Lucy Pevensie. Dakota Fanning better watch her back because if Georgie gets her green card she will provide some stiff competition for
Bubkis! I can’t remember a single tantalizing moment of vulgarity, sexuality, or violence that really sticks to your ribs. The film does have a bit of violent innuendo, but the kid-friendly rating keeps the brunt of the exchanges off-screen in lieu of up-close and personal payout.
The Money Shot
When the credits finished rolling, I was fortunate to have a few friends to mull over the lamentable Chronicles I with me. The consensus was that, thanks to such phenomenal film series as Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, audiences expect their fantasy films to provide a thorough and faithful homage to their favorite literary works. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe has all the big-budget flash and tedious length associated with the aforementioned fantastic epics, but fails to balance the glitz with any substantial emotion or story. The beautifully crafted wardrobe housed a myriad of bedazzling furs, and in that respect ‘Narnia the Movie’ is similar; filled and trimmed with the same splendid yet hollow quality.