It's Funny Because He's Fat

The Hangover

Release: 06.05.09
Rated R
1 hour, 40 minutes


See It, Take a Friend, Buy the DVD!




On the verge of his wedding Doug (Justin Bartha, National Treasure) is taken on a bachelor party extravaganza by his two best friends, Phil (Bradley Cooper, Wedding Crashers) and Stu (Ed Helms, Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay), with his fiance's brother Alan (Zack Galifianakis, What Happens in Vegas) in tow. After a toast atop Caesar's Palace, the wolfpack awakens in their villa the next morning minus one: the groom-to-be. With no recollection of their insane night, the trio begins piecing together the clues which sends them on an even crazier manhunt.

I walked into The Hangover with fairly low expectations. The trailers suggested that director Todd Phillips would have another hit on the scale of Old School. Even so, I knew if I got too excited I ran the risk of being let down. That's when I realized:

I thought the goat in Drag Me to Hell was the greatest animal moment I'd see all year, then I saw a tiger tearing through a Mercedes like it was catnip.

I thought Ray Liotta's Detective Harrison in Observe and Report was the most dickish cop I'd see all year, then I saw Rob Riggle (Step Brothers) and Cleo King (Pineapple Express) play officers Franklin and Garden. In tha face!

I thought Lou Ferrigno in I Love You, Man would be the best muscle-bound cameo of the year, and then I saw Mike Tyson.

I thought Ling Bai's Ria in Crank: High Voltage was the craziest Asian character I'd see all year, then I saw Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong, Role Models).

I thought Julianna Guill's breasteses in Friday the 13th were the best pair of boobage I'd see all year, and they still are (Sadly, one great boob does not a pair make).

I thought Seth Rogen's Color Me Badd duds in Observe and Report were the worst outfit I'd see all year, then I saw Alan's white jeans and satchel.

I thought Odette Yustman's tighty-whitey cameltoe in the Unborn would be unmatched in 2009, then I saw Alan in a jock strap.

I thought Karl Urban's McCoy in Star Trek would be the most memorable doctor in 2009, but Matt Walsh (Old School) came damn close to unseating him.

I thought Harry Connick, Jr's mountain-man beard in New in Town was the most impressive facial hair of the year, then I saw Alan's bushy flavor-saver.

I thought Liam Neeson laid down the most severe ass-whooping of the year in Taken, then I watched Mr. Chow wield a crowbar like nobody's business.

I thought J.K. Simmons in I Love You, Man would be the best father figure with the fewest lines of the year, but then I saw Jeffrey Tambor (Hellboy) and he has him beat.

I thought Watchmen's Patrick Wilson and Malin Akerman would have the hottest sex in a hovering superhero vehicle in 2009; then I...sorry, it wasn't THAT crazy a movie!

I could keep this up all day, but the gist is that The Hangover excelled beyond my expectations. Is it better than Old School? Let's not get crazy. The main difference between Old School and this is that the trio of buddies in the former carried the movie with very little help from their supporting cast. The Hangover accomplishes a similar level of hilarity due largely to the efforts of its entire cast. That said, you will leave the theater with a newfound respect for Zack Galifianakis (North Carolina REPRESENT!).

The Money Shot
In a sea of middling summer movies, you could waste your money on far worse fare. If you wisely choose the only adult comedy at the box office, be certain to sit through the credits for the slideshow of the night they all forgot.

MMM: Celebrate Good Times

Today's mood music was a no brainer. Although he's been featured before he's my favorite artist and you really can't ever get too much of him. We're revisiting this artist because yesterday, June 7, Prince Rogers Nelson a.k.a. Prince turned 51.

With so many great songs to choose from, I wasn't sure which one to post. The choice was easier than I expected since it's nearly impossible to find any of his vids just floating around on the internets. In fact, I couldn't even find an embed link on the legitimate sites that worked.

Luckily, Spike.com is home to the video of choice. I thought playing 1999 for his 2009 birthday might be a bit of a cliché, so instead I chose this tune released in the summer of 1989. It's a funky little jam and coincidentally it's from one of my favorite summer films of the time, Batman.

Click on either the title or the photo below and you'll be treated to a blast from the past.

Prince - Partyman

I hope you had a happy birthday Prince. I hope everyone has a great week.

Trailer Trash: The June-09 Gang Bang

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Fun with a Capital F-U!

Drag Me To Hell

Release: 05.29.09
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 39 minutes

Full Price


We've all been there. You wake up determined to have a good day. Then at work you're reminded that your boss lacks confidence in you, your douchey coworker thinks he's the better than you, and your boyfriend's mom poo-poos you and she hasn't even met you! All these little things rise to the top until some poor unsuspecting sap forces you to angrily assert your superiority. A moment like that can make you feel like a dick, especially if the bystander didn't deserve it, but it could always be worse.

Christine Brown's (Alison Lohman, Big Fish) day qualifies as worse. Her guilt over denying an old lady a loan extension diminishes when she is subsequently attacked by said customer, Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver, TV: Star Trek Voyager). Besides vandalizing her car and giving her a fierce gumming, the gypsy woman bestows a horrid curse upon Christine. Over three days, a lamia will torment her until finally dragging her to Hell, unless she can find a way to stop it.

I knew Drag was going to be a winner when, within the first couple minutes, a cursed boy's mother gets bitch-slapped across the room by the unseen dark spirit. Only in the minds of Sam and Ivan Raimi (Army of Darkness) could such deviance dwell. For those unfamiliar with director Sam Raimi's earlier work, the zooming cameras, bizarre screaming voices, and demon-possessed, dancey floaty people are all reminiscent of the Evil Dead franchise.

Major kudos to Alison Lohman who sold every single gross moment of Drag with genuine fear and hysterics. She's subjected to an onslaught of wet, gooey, squishy things. She's tossed about her humble home like a rag doll. Throughout her mystical dilemma, her skeptical boyfriend Clay (Justin Long, Jeepers Creepers) remains supportive.

The small details in Drag speak volumes. Watching Mrs. Ganush sail on Christine's hard candy like it was filet mignon or glimpsing a simple eye brow arch by Christine's boss, That Guy David Paymer (Payback) let's us know exactly who they are and where they are coming from.

Dirty Undies
Long before Ellen Page, it was Lohman's cherubic mug that graced many a pedophile's wallpaper. It's amazing that at nearly thirty, she still has moments where she looks twelve. That innocent optimism blends well with the tough streak Christine develops through her demonic tribulations. She gives as good as she gets, even if it's against a defenseless kitty and a geriatric gypsy. The brutal fight from her driver's seat is in the running for 2009's most memorable moment.

The Money Shot
Drag Me to Hell is gross in the most extremely fun way possible. I could have easily written another page on all the goodness this potential franchise delivers. Hell, I didn't even mention the goat!

Yes We Can!

Stargazers! It's time once again to do your civic duty. E! Online's poll: Tater Tops 2009: Who Is This Season's Breakout Star? is up and your vote is needed!

Specifically, I recommend you vote for Miracle Laurie. She's the true breakout, seeing as how Dollhouse is her first recurring role and she nailed it! That was no easy task considering she played Mellie, November and Madeline - completely different characters. Sweet and slightly self-deprecating as Mellie, but Miracle could turn on a dime into one tough cookie.

Not knocking the other 'breakouts' but didn't Kevin McKidd have his own show before Grey's Anatomy? Adam Scott has been around for like ever and is always good. Yvonne Strahovski has been playing this character for three seasons of Chuck. Nelsan Ellis is the closest contender to a true breakout, and no offense Mr. Ellis, but Miracle is WAY hotter!


I tuned into Dollhouse because it was a Joss Whedon project and I have always been a stringent supporter of Eliza Dushku's career. However, it ended up that I wouldn't be completely satisfied with an episode unless I got Miracle Laurie fix. Yeah, she was that good. Enough hype, go vote!

Tater Tops 2009: Who Is This Season's Breakout Star?

A Quickie: Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

Seeing Moon Bloodgood work so hard in the subpar Terminator Salvation, I remembered how she worked equally hard alongside Kristin Kreuk earlier this year in an even worse flick.

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

Release: 02.27.09
DVD Release: 06.30.09
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 36 minutes

Group Rental

After a performance, accomplished concert pianist Chun-Li (Kristin Kreuk, TV: Smallville) finds an ancient Chinese scroll left in her dressing room. The scroll's jist is that her hands weren't made for piano playing, they were made for ass-whooping. Chun-Li straps on her boots made for walking and hits the mean streets of Bangkok. A master named Gen teaches her to focus her anger into extreme whoopitude and lets her loose against the evil Shadaloo. Conveniently, Shadaloo is headquartered in Bangkok and led by Bison (Neal McDonough, Walking Tall), the soulless man who kidnapped her father years ago to use him towards sinister ends.

Much of that plot is spoon-fed to audiences twice-around; visually and through extensive voiceover by Chun-Li. Kreuk is exceptional; too bad everything else in Street Fighter isn't. She looks awesome in a blue throwback dress and gold ankle boots as the night club seductress, but the action sequence that follows is poorly shot. I blinked and totally missed her battle with Vega. The final confrontation is more brutal than expected, but that's a long time to wait for a quality fight.

In the meantime, you have to watch Kreuk tread water above the largely incoherent and implausible story. Moon Bloodgood (Terminator Salvation) plays Bangkok Detective Maya Sunee well while looking steamy hot in either tank tops or just her bra (winning her the nickname Boobgood). Conversely, as Charlie Nash, Chris Klein (American Dreamz) and his ham-fisted acting made me throw up in my mouth a little every time he spoke with his weird embellished manner.

I had high hopes Street Fighter would be a cleansing fire for Kristin Kreuk, burning away the years of bad writing Smallville doused upon her as Lana Lang. Through it all, she's managed to keep her head high, even when the stench becomes unbearable.

MMM: Why the Wait Kate?

Welcome to another Monday Mood Music! The date's June 1, which reminded me of the website thesixtyone. I don't visit the site as much as I did a year ago, but it's been pretty busy around here. The same must be true for this week's artist.

She had me with the first note when I discovered her tracks on thesixtyone. After finding her in spring '08, I was telling all my friends the name Kate Earl would be all too familiar to them by summer's end. The only thing I wasn't certain of was which song, Melody, Golden Street or Only in Dreams, would be her break out single.

I became glum when her second album's summer '08 release date shifted to fall '08. At last check, it's set for release in summer '09. June 1 is dangerously close to what I'd call summer, but there's still no firm date scheduled. My money is in hand and I've been waiting patiently. Dear, dear Kate, when can I exchange these for a cd and harmonious satisfaction?

I will not suffer alone. Get ready to join me in pacing frustratedly for Ms. Earl's next album.

Kate Earl - Melody

Melody (live acoustic) from Kate Earl on Vimeo.

If you want to know more about Kate Earl, check out her website. You can also listen to the NPR interview she did for her debut album, Fate is the Hunter.