Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Jizt! Paul Blart: Mall Cop

In this fast-paced world of blogging, tweeting and fly-by-night film voyeurism, sometimes one doesn't have the time to give a film proper treatment. More importantly, others do not always have the time to read it. Sometimes you just have to take it around back and squeeze one out in three quick strokes. Think of The Jizt as the wham, bam, thank you ma'am of reviews.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Release: 01.16.09
DVD Release: 05.19.09

Rated PG
1 hour, 31 minutes

Group Rental

Cast: Kevin James (I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry), Keir O'Donnell (The Break-Up) Jayma Mays (Smiley Face)

The Build-up:
Mall Cop spins the Die Hard premise so that Reggie Vel Johnson, not Bruce Willis, is trapped with terrorists, and he's going to need a whole lot of Twinkies to stave off the villains AND his hypoglycemia!

The Blurt-out: When is Anna Faris going to let Jayma Mays share a little more of her adorably-cute-and-funny-girl spotlight?

The Jizt: Had Paul Blart been a Twinkie-eating Reggie Vel Johnson, I might not have forgotten seeing the film by the end of the credits.

...I'll go get you a towel.

Large Association of Movie Blogs


  1. Sounds like a walk of shame followed...

  2. Luckily I saw this at home so no one was around to see my embarrassment when I popped it out the player.

  3. That's my kind of MS Paint work! Big Al!!!

  4. *bows deeply* Thank you, thank you very much!

  5. Fabulous movie..... I really like this movie... I watch Paul blart: mall cop movie last night....