Monday, May 7, 2012

MILF Rendezvous: Desperado

Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo, or El Dia de la Batalla de Puebla, which is a holiday known second to only St. Patrick’s Day for providing an excuse to drink (like any of us actually need one). In honor of this observance of Mexican heritage and pride, I thought it best to add to the vault a film that features the biggest Mexican I’ve ever seen!

I am, of course, referring to Salma Hayek. Ay-yo0o! Desperado introduced mainstream audiences to the beautiful and talented Salma Hayek with her role as the tough bookstore owner Carolina, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning. 


Stop me if you’ve heard this one; a weaselly gringo (Steve Buscemi) walks into a dingy bar in Santa Cecilia and tells a tall tale about this big-as-shit Mexican mariachi (Antonio Banderas) who he witnessed massacring a neighboring bar full of scumbags in the pursuit of the drug dealer Bucho (Joaquim de Almeida). Yeah, no one in the bar found it funny either. The gringo finishes his piss-warm Chango and hightails it because, best he could tell, this shadowy killer was headed their way. In reality, the gringo is a friend of the mariachi and reports to him that, based on the bar folk’s reactions, Bucho is close. Armed with that knowledge and his guitar case full of guns, el Mariachi rains hell down upon the thugs of Santa Cecilia to flush Bucho out of hiding.

Rendezvous...

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