Confession of a Reel Whore, Part III

I am back! It's Sunday and I am typing with a fervor to present Day 3 of my 7-part Best of 2007 extravaganza. Be sure to check out the previous day's coverage so you won't be lost.

Post I

Post II

Award #3: Best Cameos of 2007

With lots of ground left to cover, it's time to jump into the next award: Best 7 Cameos of 2007. Obviously, this award recognizes actors or famous personalities who pop in for a brief onscreen grin-and-wink as themselves or some minor character. When done properly, a great cameo might be the best moment you remember about a movie.

The Sloppy Seconds:

Stan Lee - With at least a couple of Marvel movies out a year, Stan Lee gets steady work and the thrill of spotting him has waned. But when Stan Lee shows up in Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer playing, for the first time, himself, it is cuh-lassic! I think he deserves a hearty cheer of 'Excelsior!' for this one.

Dwayne Johnson - In Reno 911!: Miami, seeing all those familiar cameos from the regular series in new roles was side-splittingly hilarious. But when a grinning Rock appears as Rick Smith of S.W.A.T. and takes control of the terrorist crisis, it will be the image you take home.

Tom Hanks - Years before Tom Hanks was spinning golden statuettes out of his phenomenal acting abilities, he was killing audiences with comedy. So seeing him cast in true golden hue as an animated version of himself in The Simpsons Movie has a kind of full-circle appeal. I particularly love the addition of his star-generating ability. "Ruffle my hair, Mr. Hanks!"

Jason Schwartzman, Justin Long, Jack Black, and Paul Rudd - Though I found Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story a bit disappointing, not even I can argue that it didn't have some of the best cameos, and, at least ,the most cameos of any film this year! Narrowing it down to the single best was nigh-impossible; that's why seeing these four nutjobs cast as the Beatles is genius. Though I found Jack Black a little weak, who in their right mind would ever split up the Beatles?!

Jason Bateman - Some people would say that Jason Bateman doesn't really count as cameo material, but those who know JB know better. I don't want to say too much about his appearance in Smokin' Aces. I think the image at the left defends his credibility more than I ever could.

Nicolas Cage - Slipping into the list of also-rans is Nicolas Cage, much to some people's chagrin. Seeing him unexpectedly appear in the Rob Zombie faux trailer Werewolf Women of the SS in Grindhouse was as over-the-top and ridiculous as he is.

And the award for Best Cameo of 2007 goes to:

Cate Blanchett - Countless critics and audiences will be yammering on and on about Blanchett's wonderful turn as Bob Dylan in this year's I'm Not There, and she rightfully deserves kudos for being the best damn Dylan of the bunch. Heck, she even gets credit for being the only thing worth seeing in Elizabeth: The Golden Age. But what she deserves even more credit for is her subtle appearance in the action-comedy Hot Fuzz. Seen it, but don't remember her in it? Picture those startling blue eyes and imagine that husky voice and see if she doesn't jump out at you.

Award #4: Most Wasted Actors of 2007

On the flipside of cameos is the dreaded thought that an actor or actress is advertised in a film that essentially wastes the talents that audiences have come to know and love. As an audience member, I feel gypped when someone I was excited to see turns out to be barely a footnote in a film. Shame on these movies for wasting these brilliant folks.

The Sloppy Seconds:

Bernie Mac - So rumors abounded that Bernie Mac would be the voice of Jazz in Transformers. When the movie released we discovered he's the guy who sells the Witwickys Bumblebee. Important role? Yes. Total waste of a great comedian? Undoubtedly.

Susan Sarandon - Without a mother/girlfriend character in Mr. Woodcock the premise would have been difficult to accomplish. I think Bianca of Lars and the Real Girl could have pulled it off though. I mean, didn't Susan have some worthy cause or protest that was far more important than this?

Alicia Keys - Granted, she's not an acting powerhouse, but after her great start in Smokin' Aces why she would want to play the underwritten and barely visible best friend of Scarlett Johansson in The Nanny Diaries is beyond me. Alicia give us more!

Malik Yoba -As with any Arrested Development alum, I have come to expect great things. That is why seeing this brother sit in the corner of every scene in Why Did I Get Married? and sulk was just depressing. Tyler Perry should be ashamed (and not just for wasting this great actor).

Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa - Even if the name isn't familiar everyone should recognize this 'That Guy' as the totally scary and ass-kicking man from most '90s movies. Balls of Fury basically insulted him and his fans for the way he was left on the cutting-room floor.

Nia Long - I almost didn't put Ms. Long in this category given that she allows herself to be repeatedly wasted in crappy comedies. But when I saw she was going to star alongside Sandra Bullock in Premonition I was so excited. Then I saw it and realized she was little more than the token black dot in this white domino. I mean, don't they know who she is?! She's motherfuckin' Nia Long!

And the award for Most Waste Actor of 2007 goes to:

Aisha Tyler - Balls of Fury should really be accountable for wasting most of the talent loaded into that film, but no mistake was more egregious than the use (or rather, lack of use) of Aisha Tyler. Let's think about this; she is friggin' hot as hell yet they stitch her up in some full length kimono?! Second, she is one of the most sarcastic and funny women out there and she's in a role where she shrugs a bit and maybe says one line? I feel reparations are in order. Aisha, if you're looking for a role, I'll write you one worth your abilities.

That's all she wrote, folks. But by 'she' I mean me and by 'all' I mean all for today. Day 4 promises even more so don't let a case of the Mondays keep you from checking back!