As I mentioned on Day 5, today I present two named awards. The Que Ridiculo! Award is given to those moments that are just too preposterous to believe. While I understand some films are a plethora of insane moments, even those can cross the line into WTF! territory.
Award #9: 2007 Que Ridiculo! Award
The Sloppy Seconds:
Lars And the Real Girl  | So the guy's got issues, right? I can totally see the townsfolk playing along until they conduct a funeral for Bianca! Sheesh, since she was only slightly used I'd post that doll on Craigslist! |
| Dan In Real Life | The shower scene?! Dude, seriously, dude. How weak are the jokes in this film that you have to resort to this crapstick? I expect better, Mr. Carell. |
| I Think I Love My Wife | No offense to my wife, but I believe if my head was neck-deep in Kerry Washington’s thighs and juices, me exiting stage right ain't priority #1. |
Live Free Or Die Hard  | McClane launches a car into a copter - sweet! Drives an SUV into an elevator -ouch! He beats the crap out of that parkour guy - nice! But B-B-B-Bruno and the Jet? Even I have to draw the line somewhere. Yeah Bruce, I'd hide, too. |
| 1408 | It's a well-known fact Samuel L. Jackson will do most anything, but I wasn't expecting to see a tiny Samuel next to the Pepsi and Red Bull in the mini-fridge! To think I was diggin’ the first half of this film. |
| I Am Legend | I understand being the last man on Earth living in a city of flesh-eating freaks can be stressful. Even so, if you've got so much on your plate that you don't recall moving a mannequin around NYC, then I think you need to stop fucking with Fred and focus. |
And the winner of the 2007 Que Ridiculo! Award is:
Shoot 'Em Up
A perfect example of an over-the-top film. A lactating prostitute named DQ, steamy sex and simultaneous shoot-out, death by carrots - all that can be considered perfectly believable and legitimate. I cannot, however, condone the use of finger bullets! That's when you immerse bullets held between your fingers into an open fire in order to kill your adversary...Exactly.
Award #10: 2007 Paula Jai Parker Award for Most Memorable Line
The Paula Jai Parker Award recognizes the most memorable line delivered in a movie. It honors the combined wittiness of well-written dialogue with unforgettable delivery by an actor. But many of you may be saying who is Paula Jai Parker? She's an under- appreciated actress who's been on the big screen for over a decade. In the context of this award, she nabbed it not once, but twice in a row. In honor of her efforts, I renamed it in 2006 in her honor. Yes, the past happened but it’s over, isn't it? Let's get to the award.
The Sloppy Seconds:
| Charlie Wilson's War - Charlie Wilson (Tom Hanks) |
 |
Hot Fuzz - PC Danny Butterman (Nick Frost) "You're off the fuckin' chain!" |
| Superbad - Seth (Jonah Hill) |
|
Elizabeth: The Golden Age -Queen Elizabeth I (Cate Blanchett) "My bitches wear my collars!" |  |
| Black Snake Moan - Lazarus (Samuel L. Jackson) |
| Waitress - Ogie (Eddie Jemison) |
And the winner of the 2007 Paula Jai Parker Award is:
 | Blades of Glory - "They laughed at Louis Armstrong when he said he was going to go to the moon. Now he's up there, laughing at them." |
If you noticed, I didn't even attempt to comment on these great lines. If you've never heard or don't remember these lines, my advice for this weekend is go, rent, and be entertained.
Unless I've lost count, I believe we are about to enter the Day 7 of the 7 days of the Confessions of a Reel Whore. Tomorrow I reveal which of the 113 films I saw this year made the best (and worst) in their respective categories. If you've come this far, what's one more day?
I could be wrong, but I think we were meant to believe that the "smart infected zombie thing" (note: not the offical name) in I Am Legend placed the mannequin there as bait for Smith's character.
ReplyDeleteYou keep referringo to having done these awards for several years. Where can your old stuff be found, though? (if anywhere)
I never thought about that, but then how did it rig the whole car trap? In that context its even more ridiculous since the film barely explored the "smart infected zombie thing" as more than a badly CGI'd alpha male, some more scenes to the contrary would've been nice.
ReplyDeleteMy old stuff was all done by email before this site (as ancient as stone tablets, I know) I will dig them up and send you copies. I want to find a way to link to them for others that are curious. Any advice on how would help.
My understanding is that the car trap was something that Neville had set up previously for the "things," but that the smart one figured it out and used it against him.
ReplyDeleteI have yet to use it, but could Google docs work for your emails? I would think you'd be able to copy and paste them into a word-like doc, then link to it. Or, you could paste them into a pdf and make an image of the pdf, then upload that to Blogger. I hvaen't had the need to do something like this, but I'm sure I could find something more you need more help.
All my old recaps are in pdf. I was going to publish through google docs and link via a new post from the site. I may try the image as an alternative too. I should get it up this weekend.
ReplyDelete