Trailer Trash: The November Gang Bang

Can you believe it is already Friday? More importantly, it's the first Friday of November, so let's get the Gang Bang underway.

Since I was indisposed in October, I resorted to a series of Trailer Trash quickies to get through the month's new releases. While it tided me over, it didn't compare to the pulse-pounding onslaught of trailers at all at once. For November, IMDB says we have eleven major releases. Sweet, let's see what they are:


Exercise the Right To Cinematic Celibacy.
Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa (11.07) I didn't care one thin dime to see Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, Jada Pinkett Smith or David Schwimmer voice dumb NYC zoo animals the first time. Why would I give a rat's ass about seeing the quartet reprise the lame idea in an African setting? No, no, no and NO I say to them all.

House (11.07) Taking a cue from the Simpsons, the horror-hopeful House is dropped a week after Halloween. While intriguing at first, the trailer turns tired as the guests of the B&B are prodded and poked a la Saw style to kill one to save the remainder. Shameless twists and turns are sure to ensue and if Michael Madsen is the big name draw, well...

Twilight (11.21) Buzz, buzz, buzz is all you hear about the novel phenomena known as Twilight, the tale of teenage vampire love. I recall similar praise heaped on Eragon years back and we all know how much that film sucked. I'm holding out hope Twilight will satisfy the romantics but us vampire lovers may find it lacking. Point in fact, Bella points out that Edward doesn't go out in the sunlight yet why is every scene of the trailer during the day???


It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.
Bolt (11.21) The concept of a 3-D cartoon super pooch is exciting and cute until you learn two things. 1) The pooch isn't really an Underdog type, he's just delusional. 2) The cute pooch is voiced by John Travolta. The hamster and his ball meet the required funny as far as pudgy sidekicks go, but watching that ball fly out of the screen 3-D style may grow old quickly.

Four Christmases (11.26) Is it just me or is Vince Vaughn trying to become the new Tim Allen?! Granted this looks more tolerable than last year's Fred Claus largely thanks to Jon Favreau and Robet Duvall's insane looking characters. I am certain this will earn beau coup box office, but it will take serious convincing to pull me away from my time-tested holiday DVD stable.

Australia (11.26) The visually stimulating works of Baz Luhrman; Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge! open the Australia promo. The spectacular landscape looks worth the price of admission, but Luhrman films have never been steeped in such serious tones as these. I'm hoping his eccentricity will prevail over Nicole Kidman's bad box office mojo, but the trailer promises no such revelations.


Moist With Antici...Pation!
Soul Men (11.07) This is one of two films that feature the late Bernie Mac (the other being his voice in Madagascar 2). I was not going to miss seeing him in this hilarious-looking starring role. In fact, I've already seen it, so why not read my full review.

Repo! The Genetic Opera (11.07) Saw director Darren Lynn Bousman takes us on what can only be described as one freaky-deaky theatrical thrill ride. A futuristic world with organ transplants, debt collectors and lots of singing has contemporary cult appeal akin to Rocky Horror (unlike the wannabe MTV remake of RHPS, boo hiss!). But I digress. With Buffy costar Anthony Head playing the Repo Man, you can expect solid acting and singing. Paris Hilton's billing scares me, but fingers crossed she'll die an ugly death like in House of Wax.

Role Models (11.07) Though the Apatow shingle is nowhere to be seen, Role Models features many of Judd's regulars, specifically Paul Rudd. He and Seann William Scott are callous slackers who get out of jail time by serving 150 hours of community service as Sturdy Wings big brothers. They'll undoubtedly learn life lessons thanks to their mentoring, but it looks like we'll all laugh our asses off along the way. This film was made in support of the McLovin' Fund:

See more Kristen Bell videos at Funny or Die

Quantum of Solace (11.14) Picking up immediately after 2006's Casino Royale, the return of Craig-Bond looks to continue its dramatic, action-packed glory. A bonus is that the smoking Olga Kurylenko is starring opposite 007. It's obvious I'll be there opening weekend, is there any reason you won't?


Transporter 3 (11.26) The third in the series doesn't promise much in originality, ripping off a Speed-esque gimmick to keep the Transporter (Jason Statham) near his vehicle or die. Unbelievable yes, but no need for the series to get realistic now. The best part, Statham is back to his few words-more action motif; a welcome change after suffering through the painful inner monologue of LAMB MOTM Revolver.

***

Limited Releases I did not review include The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas, Slumdog Millionaire, Christmas Tale, Special, and Sean Penn's Milk. I was tempted to tackle these as well, but I believe I ache enough already. See you at the theater!