I wasn't sure I could do it, but after yesterday's grueling Oscar Gang Bang, I got back in the saddle for today's Trailer Trash extravaganza. After this, I probably won't be able to sit right for a week, but it was worth it.
March's new releases may not be foremost in your mind, but trust me, once the Academy blows its load Sunday, you will be more than ready to enjoy a new movie or two.
Hollywood's offering up ten major releases (according to IMDB). Like the last two months, the prospects are largely mediocre. Wouldn't you agree?
Exercise the Right To Cinematic Celibacy.
The Bounty Hunter (03.19) Best as I can figure, Gerard Butler is the tequila of romantic comedies; mixing him into any lovey-dovey premise is a bad idea. While I'm sure I would get a lot of pleasure seeing Jennifer Aniston tackled, watching all the other weak jokes fall flat is more than I can stomach.She's Out of My League (03.12) What's more out of Jay Baruchel's league than hottie Alice Eve? A starring role. No offense, Jay, but of all the R.I.T.s (Rogens-In-Training) from Knocked Up, I'd bank on Martin Starr to be the next rainmaker. Not to mention, is that not the dullest poster ever?!
Looks like they've tried to shellac the Judaism off his face.How to Train Your Dragon (03.26) This will make the second March release for Jay Baruchel, Gerard Butler and America Ferrera. I expect this will outperform all those releases combined, especially with the kiddies not having any animated fare since December. The premise looks entertaining, but the salamander with Nerf horns they're calling a dragon ain't cutting it.
It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.
Our Family Wedding (03.12) So much about this trailer screams to turn and run the other way: lame stereotype jokes, Carlos Mencia, lame Viagra jokes, Carlos Mencia. That's pretty awful, but I adore America Ferrera and now that Ugly Betty has been canceled, baby needs the exposure. Besides, I'm a strong advocate of GAG, and their triumphant return to Hollywood mainstream.
Alice in Wonderland (03.05) I've come to expect nothing less than stellar visuals from Tim Burton. This should be Alice's adventures, yet it feels more like the escapades of Depp and Bonham Carter. After seeing SyFy's Alice, the entertainment has just about squeezed all the wonder out of Alice's tale.
Green Zone (03.12) Advertisers did everything short of naming this Bourne 4.0, despite trying to define Damon as a different, highly trained military operative. It's like when Eastwood starred in The Rookie and everyone swore it wasn't another Dirty Harry sequel. Luckily, Green Zone looks more like In the Loop with guns.
Repo Men (03.19) Wow, I guess if you ditch all the off-key singing, the premise of Repo! The Genetic Opera is promising. The plotting is far from original, but you can't help but be excited to see the final confrontation between Ghost Dog and Dr. Watson.
Remember Me (03.12) An angst-ridden young man finds solace in the arms of a young coed? That wouldn't normally appeal to me, but the performances by Chris Cooper and Pierce Brosnan promise some emotionally fierce portrayals. For that, I can stomach an audience flush with Twilighters.
Moist With Antici...Pation!
Brooklyn's Finest (03.05) Antoine Fuqua has directed some solid thrillers and Brooklyn's Finest has the story and cast to be second only to Training Day. The real reason to see this is that it's been nearly six years since Wesley Snipes was on the big screen! Plus, a portion of every ticket is going to rebuild the U.S. economy via his garnished wages.
Hot Tub Time Machine (03.26) The first time I heard those four words, I groaned aloud. But I'll be damned if this isn't the most awesomest movie to come down the pipe in a long time! Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson and Clark Duke have proven themselves to be hilarious comedic wingmen, so hopefully they can lift John Cusack out of the cinematic cesspool he's been drowning in.
***I just hope with three weeks left, the trailers won't ruin every joke in Hot Tub Time Machine. I know at my local indy theater, the trailer for this month's limited release film, Greenberg (03.26 ltd.), is weighing on my last nerve. The movie looks good, but it looked better when I hadn't seen the trailer fourteen times!
Enough trailer talk. After consecutive gang bangs, I need to ice down.
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Repo Men looks generic. The new red band trailer doesn't help that much.
ReplyDeleteHot Tub I will see for Jessica Pare. I will see the film right after going to the gym. Its the perfect movie for that.
Forgot this:
ReplyDeletehttp://film-book.com/jessica-pare-stars-in-hot-tub-time-machine/
I'm thinking Repo Men will wait until the cheap seats for me.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the trailer link. I actually looked at that post a while back. Jessica Pare is two very, very good reasons to see HTTM.
At least you go to the gym, I'm too lazy to ever go!
Definitely not paying for Repo. If they send it to me I will watch it.
ReplyDeleteNo gym for you? I'm about to go do squats. Get a personal trainer. 20 bucks a session. Go motivation and they will show you the ropes.
Worst thing is that I have a YMCA membership! I've thought of going the trainer route. Ever since I lost my gym buddy, it's been hard to stay motivated.
ReplyDeleteThey are killin the TV ads for Repo; not a good sign. I'll most likely catch it on the cheap.
Repo is a concept film that will fall apart in its third act or turn into Equilibrium's third act (except it won't be as good).
ReplyDeleteThat chick in She's Out of my League, Alice Eve, has a great body. Trust me: http://film-book.com/links-shes-in-his-league/
Hello,
ReplyDeleteMovies add chutzpah and glamour to our life. Without movies, our lives would be completely dull and drab. Movies simply combine moving images and sounds but they have become an essential ingredient of our lives. Movies showcase all the basic human emotions like pain, grief, happiness, joy and vengeance.
Sania