Flawless Victory!

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World


Release: 08.13.10
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 52 minutes


See It, Take a Friend, Buy the DVD!



After a year of heartbreak, Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist) has finally started dating again. However, his roomie, Wallace (Kieran Culkin, Igby Goes Down) and his band-mates think Knives Chau (Ellen Wong) is just his poor rebound girl and they may be right. While in the midst of 'like' for Knives, a crazy-cute chica rolls out of his dreams and into his reality as Ramona V. Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Sky High). Scott is determined to win the heart of Ramona, but her seven evil exes seek to thwart their relationship.

Writer-director Edgar Wright (Hot Fuzz) along with writer Michael Bacall have brought Bryan Lee O'Malley's graphic novel, Scott Pilgrim Volume 1: Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life (which I haven't read) to glorious, graphically-influenced life. SPvtW has the usual awkward cadence familiar to Wright's previous films; bouts of wildly fun action balanced with witty discourse that result in a sort of stuttering unevenness that strangely works (kinda like this sentence).

SPvtW works for many reasons, but foremost is Wright's stylish mash-up of video games and movies with a dash of Gilliam and a pinch of sitcom for flavor. Watching this had me thinking, Damn, why didn't I think of something this cool?! It's like Wright watched Uwe Boll's House of the Dead and made posilutely sure SPvtW was the exact opposite. Kudos to Wright on casting Michael Cera as Scott Pilgrim; he's awesome. Cera has the lovable slacker, wannabe rocker shtick down cold and works every minute of it in SPvtW. Winstead smolders as Ramona; her vibe instantly conveys why she's the object of affection to so many. Wong is adorably hopeless as Scott's girl.


Even the smaller roles are on point. If you don't know all the actors portraying the evil exes, I won't spoil it, but they all bring a special something to the table (Arrested Development fans will get a huge kick out of one ex in particular). I wish Anna Kendrick (Rocket Science) played a bigger role. While I got a kick out of Aubrey Plaza's (Mystery Team) Julie, she still seems to have trouble being in front of a camera. Clifton Collins, Jr. (Crank: High Voltage) and Thomas Jane (The Punisher) have an absolutely riotous appearance..but I've already said too much. I could spend another two paragraphs praising the cast, but point is they work well.

Dirty Undies
Wright keeps SPvtW fresh by making each of Scott's battles unique. I love a good fight, but if I had to watch Pilgrim clamor through level after level, bruised and beaten, the movie would have gotten stale. Instead, Scott must use both his wits and Street Fighter savvy with each new opponent. Wright cleverly skirts around the severity of Pilgrim's battle-to-the-death scenarios, so squeamish folks need not fret.

Have I mentioned how lovable Cera is as Pilgrim and how lucky he is to score a wicked cute dame like Winstead to be Ramona? Just checking.

The Money Shot
I was as giddy as a schoolgirl from the first time I saw the trailer. Having seen it, I'm ecstatic that my excitement was not misplaced. Despite a few minor quibbles, I will definitely see Scott Pilgrim vs. the World a second time. I'm not sure if I will discover any subtle nuances from multiple viewings, but I'm certain Scott Pilgrim & Co. will deliver the same knockout hilarity every time.

A Quickie: Iron Man 2

Iron Man 2


Release: 05.07.10
Rated PG-13
2 hours, 4 minutes


Full Price

Picking up shortly after the end of the first installment, Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr., Sherlock Holmes) sits before a Senate sub-committee that strongly encourages him to relinquish the Iron Man weapon into the responsible hands of the U.S. government. Contrarily, Stark believes the technology too advanced to be duplicated...until a psychotic Russian, Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke, Sin City), shows up sporting a spanky arc reactor-fueled weapon of his own. Add to the government, villains, and rival company woes the pesky side effects of having an arc reactor implanted in his chest, and it's uncertain if Tony Stark, the man or the machine, can withstand the pressure.

RDJ still shines as the quick-witted, charismatic Stark. Don Cheadle (After the Sunset) replaces Terrence Howard as Stark's best bud, Rhodey. Apparently, Howard's head got too big to fit into the War Machine suit and producers had to let him go. Cheadle slips easily into the rhythm of director Jon Favreau's (Elf) story. Much like the first Iron Man, that rhythm is a fast-talking, explosive action flick, except for the chewy marshmallow center that audiences must gum through to reach the big-bang bonanza of an ending.

In that center, Scarlett Johansson (The Spirit) gets to kick butt and look good doing it; Gwyneth Paltrow (Emma) gets wasted as pouty Potts; and Sam Rockwell (Choke) sleazes it up as Tony's industrial nemesis. Audiences learn Tony gets his pompous attitude from his pop, Mad Men's own Roger Sterling, a.k.a. John Slattery. Audiences lax in basic logistics won't be bothered when Stark saddles up to race in the Monaco Grand Prix or turns his focus to nucleosynthesis using fifty foot of pipe and a monkey wrench.

So, a few plot elements are outrageous, but isn't this a story about a billionaire genius who flies around saving innocents in a homemade contraption? Since there is no such heroic lovechild of Richard Branson, Harrison Ford and Leonardo DaVinci in the real world, audiences can instead enjoy the wondrous CGI spectacle of Robert Downey, Jr as Iron Man.

.

Why Didn't the Losers Win?

The Losers


Release: 04.23.10
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 38 minutes


Matinee



Five CIA black ops agents, framed for a crime they didn't commit, help the innocent while on the run from...wait, sorry. Let's try that again.

The Losers, a US Special Forces unit led by Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Watchmen) are on a mission in Bolivia to stop a vile drug runner. The op goes south when the mysterious and maniacal Max (Jason Patric, Sleepers) turns the op on its head and leaves the Losers for dead. Clay and his men hide out in South America until Clay is approached by Aisha (Zoe Saldana, Star Trek), who offers them the means necessary to kill Max and reclaim their lives.

The premise is solid, the trailers exciting; so why, on opening weekend, did the Losers come in fourth? A month-old animated dragon flick, J-Lo's big, but juicy booty romp, and an NBC Must See TV gimmick edged them out of the top spot. In the second week, they continued their losing streak. The iconic horror slasher topped the weekend, no surprise, but again, those flicks from last week kept the Losers down. Hell, even Brendan Fraser beat them with that God-awful-looking, CGI save-the-forest pukefest.

Roque (Idris Elba, RocknRolla), Jensen (Chris Evans, Cellular), Pooch (Columbus Short, Armored) and Cougar (Óscar Jaenada) make up the rest of Clay's unit. Roque is the most confrontational while Pooch mostly stares at his wedding ring. Jensen always tries a little too hard to be lovable, and Cougar is as cool as Danny Trejo under a shade tree sipping lemonade from a stripper's belly button. They get the job done, but they bicker and bitch, especially after Aisha becomes part of the group.

Patric is exceptional as the unpredictable Max. He's like a boy, gleeful at the thought of scorching ants with a magnifying glass. His henchman, Wade (rising 'That Guy' Holt McCallany, Vantage Point), is s proper right hand man. The Losers, by comparison, are largely forgettable, although their destructive missions are impressive.

Dirty Undies
The explosive missions, shoot-outs, fighting all rock even if a scene or two is unnecessary. I can't even recall how many things the Losers blew to hell. I would have liked to see more blood and guts. Not to spoil things, but explain to me how there was not at LEAST a stray finger or elbow strewn about the crash site during their establishing story?!

Max surrounds himself with a ton of lovely women in one scene you'll wish would last longer. But the Losers are the real hotness; courtesy of Cougar, Jensen and Aisha. Zoe Saldana is a lovely woman, and director Sylvain White gives the audience lots of hip-swinging, hair-bouncing, slow-motion shots. It'd be nicer if Saldana actually had some thickness to jiggle in those scenes. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but Zoe's scrawny frame makes Nicole Kidman look like she's got back.

The Money Shot
The Losers has substance, action, decent performances but suffers from a bit too much style. It wasn't so much style as it was timing and the lack of big names that hurt the Losers at the box office. Only the big actors draw audiences in. I like Morgan, but what's he done aside from the being the dead guy in Watchmen? Patric has a solid resume, but who except Lost Boys fans recognizes him? Maybe the 2010 box office only has room for an A-Team, not the B-Team.

Movie Menage: Surrogates

Sometimes the Reel Whore likes a little company in the dark of the theater. Though the interwebs bring us closer, us reviewers cannot always bed down together for a post. With the Movie Menage, I surreptitiously pluck a couple of reviews from fellow LAMBs and other film bloggers. These brief blurbs coupled with the Reel Whore take constitute a critique à trois, if you will. Getting three opinions of a film tossed together should be better than one, right?

Surrogates

Release: 09.25.09
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 44 minutes
Second-Run Seats

The year is 2017. Most of humanity has withdrawn into their homes, choosing to live their lives via a surrogate; an interactive robot that has been designed to be whatever the operator wishes. Two such surrogates, Detective Tom Greer (Bruce Willis, The Jackal) and his partner Peters (Radha Mitchell, Phone Booth), are called in to investigate a vandalism case involving two surrogates. Following the clues, Greer and Peters discover the destruction of these two robots simultaneously caused their operators' deaths. This leads Greer to venture out into the world, sans-surrie, not knowing the responsibility to stop an apocalyptic plot rests in his human hands.

The first of our lovers trio:


... There's not an easier way for a film set in the future to bother me than to not pay attention to the cars on the road. Surrogates is set in 2017 (according to Wikipedia, which is odd, because I swear that title cards said "14 years from now"). and yet everyone's driving 2009 Toyota Priuses and 2009 Chevy Cobalts and sh*t. WTF? So, super-advanced robotic technology will have worked its way to photo realism in 8 years (and crime will vanish), but we'll all still be driving our cars from today (which look brand new eight years from now, too)? Really?

See Fletch blow his full load.


Joining in the fun is our second partner:


... Pseudo-Bruce (Bruce Willis’ surrogate) is chasing a real human who committed a crime. Pseudo-Bruce’s helicopter crashes and explodes and his arm gets torn off, but it’s Pseudo-Bruce so it’s no big deal. So he gets up and shakes it off in time for a pick up truck to smash into him. It will take more than that to take down Pseudo-Bruce because his operator Bruce Willis is a super bad ass. The truck barely slowed him down, so a woman shot him in the chest with a shot gun. Then, since apparently they’ve seen Bruce’s previous work, they hung Pseudo-Bruce on a cross that said, “Die Robot Pig!” That finally took care of Pseudo-Bruce, but then the real Bruce came after them. Dum dum dum.

If you like it rough, Action Flick Chick is waiting.

Surrogates is loosely (and I mean loosely) based on the graphic novel of the same name by Robert Venditti. I had the chance to meet Venditti this summer and briefly talk about his success story. He was very excited that his first project had been optioned, but being his first, the decisions were in the hands of the movie wizards. Still, he couldn't ask for a better opportunity to get his name in lights. Having now seen the movie, his comments make so much more sense; the movie is only a shadow of his original concept.

My major complaint is that surrogacy becomes integral to society within the next decade; highly implausible. Most likely this decision was made to spare money on developing a futuristic setting. Venditti set his world in 2054. The world was not a utopia and crime was still a major issue. The key difference between the novel and the film is that the book defines the shift in crime from physical harm to property destruction. That's just the tip of the divergence iceberg.

As for Surrogates the movie, the makeup was awesome. I had forgotten how hot Radha Mitchell is, but they did a great job of uglying her up when needed. Pseudo-Bruce was slightly off-looking, but good ol' Bruised Willis was as ornery as ever. I just wished he'd been surly enough to bash in a few more surrie skulls. The most exciting scenes were Pseudo-Bruce and Pseudo-Radha hopscotch shipping containers and atop cars in two different chase scenes.

Aside from those few thrilling moments, Bruised mainly wanders around lost instead of cracking heads and one-liners. Unless you wish to join Bruised's perplexed perambulation, I suggest you resist pondering the plot logistics too thoroughly. Surrogates is a good way to pass an afternoon, but don't be surprised if you've forgotten most of it by the credits' end.

Movie Menage: X-Men Origins Wolverine

Lately, it seems for every movie I review, I've got three to four more waiting in the wings to be serviced. Exponential expansion, while sometimes good, can also be a burden. The Reel Whore is always looking to spice up his movie life for both his benefit and yours, stargazers.

In this latest innovation, the Reel Whore will surreptitiously pluck a couple of reviews from fellow LAMBs and other film bloggers. The brief blurbs from these two reviewers coupled with the Reel Whore take constitute a critique à trois, if you will. Getting three opinions of a film tossed together should be better than one, right?

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Release: 05.01.09
DVD Release: 09.15.09
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 47 minutes

Matinee

Fanboys' favorite member of the X-Men, Wolverine (Hugh Jackman, Van Helsing), started as a tiny, sickly young boy named James. On the run at an early age, he and his half-brother, Victor (Liev Schreiber, Scream), found that a life of fighting suited them. It isn't until joining a secret government team led by William Stryker (Danny Huston, 30 Days of Night) that Logan (the Wolverine moniker comes later) gets fed up with Victor and the gang's cold-blooded ways. Years later, he's working the wood daily as both lumberjack and boyfriend when Stryker surfaces to give him a proposition he can't refuse. Several explosions, a handful of mutant cameos and a LOT of killing later, the no-nonsense killing machine Wolverine is born.

The first of our lovers trio:

... The movie also doesn’t follow the franchise’s own canon, which makes it unbelievable to watch. The movie’s so focused on blowing shit up that the plot at times crosses into the grotesque. When Stryker realizes that he’s made Wolverine indestructible, he shoots him with adamantium bullets because his brain will heal…but his memories won’t.

What?!

... will.i.am from the Black-Eyed Peas is in this movie. Why, I’m not sure. It seems as though the prerequisite for his character, Wraith, was to have a terrible Southern accent and be willing to wear a lot of turquoise jewelry. In that regard, will.i.am succeeds. In every other way, he is astonishingly, depressingly bad to watch.

Uncover Caitlin's full, uncensored opinion.

Joining in the fun is our second partner:

... Liev Schreiber clearly relishes playing a man who bounds up buildings like Tigger and slashes faces with his fingernails. He practically purrs his lines.

Hugh Jackman, for his part, spends most of the movie sharpening his claws or screaming at the sky — his tan, much-muscled frame either nude, shirtless or clad in a torn white wife-beater. Meow!

Sarah's waiting for you to come calling.

Two major issues with Wolverine are the amazingly weak special effects and the blatant misuse of Ryan Reynolds (Blade: Trinity). The special effects in the early scenes with the mercenary teams are pretty spanky. Evidently, when time came for Wolverine's adamantium upgrade, the money was running thin. Several times Wolverine's claws looked as believable as a pair that came packaged with my nephew's Halloween costume. Victor's Tigger-esque bounding became laughable. Only the lack of lifebars on the screen and a controller in my hand saved the climactic fight scene on Three Mile Island from feeling like a poorly choreographed video game.

Speaking of the final fight scene, why would you hire the sexy, smart-mouthed Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool only to make him play a mute while literally defacing him?! The inclusion of Reynolds in the cast was the driving factor for me to see Wolverine, but his five minutes of screentime was an insult.

Wolverine is entertaining enough if you just roll with the mostly landed punches and don't get hung up on pesky details like plot or faithfulness to the source material. Logan's saga was pretty well covered in the X-Men trilogy, yet they're already talking an Origins sequel. If the next installment is similarly flawed, I doubt even his phenomenal healing factor could revive it.

Double Team'd: Searching for Good DC.

We comic book fans have heard repeatedly about the on-again-off-again saga of DC comic titles at the hands of Warner Brothers Pictures. The Justice League was on; now it's off. Superman came back, but is now gathering dust on a shelf. The Flash was revving up, only to have the brakes deployed. We won't even get started on the repeated raping of my Wonder Woman hopes. Now rumors are that the Ryan Reynolds'-starrer Green Lantern is about to suffer from wishy-washy syndrome due to rising costs of an Australian production.

Luckily, the Animation arm of Warner Brothers knows how to put product on the street. Granted, they may not always do a bang-up job, but at least we comic nerds have two recent choices for our fix.


Wonder Woman


DVD Release: 03.06.2009
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 14 minutes


See It, Take a Friend, Buy the DVD!



US Air Force pilot Steve Trevor (Nathan Fillion, Serenity) crashes on an uncharted island. He finds himself at the feet of a race of warrior women, the Amazons. No man has ever set foot on the island of Themyscira. During his appearance, the war god Ares (Alfred Molina, Spider-Man 2) escapes from prison and begins to wage war on the world. By winning a challenge, the Queen's only daughter, Princess Diana (Keri Russell, Waitress), is tasked with being the first Amazon to enter the world of man to escort Trevor home and capture Ares.

I honestly don't get how Warner Brothers Pictures can't greenlight a Wonder Woman film. This animated tale rocked! The story, penned by Gail Simone and Michael Jelenic, sucks you in from the start. In the opening sequence, we see the Amazons in brutal battle with the armies of Ares. Though much is done in silhouette, viewers can feel the slicing of the blades and watch the carnage as heads literally fly. The rough-and-tumble is balanced with comedy; first at the awkwardness of Trevor in his foreign surroundings, and then by Diana as she attempts to manuever in strange lands.

The voice casting is perfect. Nathan Fillion's a hoot as the quick-with-a-line Trevor, but his voice carries the weight of the cojones to back up Diana in dangerous situations. If a live-action film ever goes forward, only Fillion should be considered for Trevor role. Unfortunately, I can't envision Keri Russell sporting the bracelets and lasso, but I think she could definitely fill any other Amazonian woman's boots.

There's not much more to say about Wonder Woman. An action-packed, captivating story and great voice casting combine to make the movie I only wish the studio would get off their ass to make. The only way to make it a reality is to show love for this well-deserving character by putting your money where your cinema wishes are.



Green Lantern: First Flight


DVD Release: 07.28.2009
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 17 minutes


Second Run Seats



While running simulations, test pilot Hal Jordan (Christopher Meloni, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle) is abducted by a dying alien. The alien's power ring has chosen Jordan to succeed the alien as a Green Lantern, an intergalactic police force. Jordan is taken to Oa, the home planet of the Lanterns' creators, the Guardians, where he is trained and evaluated by Sinestro (Victor Garber, Jeffrey) as to his worthiness to wear the ring. Meanwhile, the evil Kanjar Ro (Kurtwood Simth, RoboCop) works to develop a weapon that will rival the Lanterns' power.

After my Wonder Woman experience, I was stoked to see the marvels achieved with the adaptation of Green Lantern's mythology. Watching this, I got to ask, is that the best you got? The story and central conflict are taut and intriguing, thanks to the writing of Alan Burnett (Batman: Gotham Knight). The voice casting was solid, but lacked nuance. When you're dealing with a gaggle of blue-skinned, stubby floating aliens, it should really be easier to distinguish one character from another.

Voicing quibbles aside, the huge letdown came with the animation. The power of Green Lanterns is in their rings, not their physique, so I'd have preferred the gangly classic Sinestro to First Flight Sinestro's impressive Schwarzenegger stature. There are also continuity issues concerning the power rings that nagged at me. Those issues are minor when compared to the action. The awesomeness of a Green Lantern is its ability to fabricate any number of objects to resolve the conflict at hand. Occasionally, Sinestro wills into being a net or Jordan conjures a golf club, but by and large, the Lanterns just point and shoot green beams of energy like Old West gunslingers. Ingenious fabrications created through sheer willpower, not Mighty Morphin' blaster rings, are what makes the Lantern Corps cool.

I think the live-action Green Lantern film is a mistake. Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps would make a far better television series. Spend the first year focusing on Jordan learning the powers of the ring, then by season finale have the world of the Guardians and the Corps revealed to him, when bigger budgets would only improve the series. I've gotten off track a bit, but the point is Green Lantern is a complex mythology and a full length feature will be hard pressed to do it justice. First Flight made a decent attempt, but aside from being a passable entry into the DC DVD line, it never shatters any barriers.

Some days, you just can't get rid of a bomb.

The Dark Knight

Release: 07.18.2008
Rated PG-13
2 hours, 32 minutes

> FULL PRICE ($$$$)

LAMBScore:


Thanks to my vacay, I came a bit late to The Dark Knight. For the seventeen of you in the world that have yet to see this film and the gaggles of readers who have been waiting with bated breath, let's see what the Whore has to say about the biggest film of the year.

The Dark Knight picks up some time after the events of Batman Begins with Batman (Christian Bale, The Prestige) continuing to fight crime on the mean streets of Gotham. As the caped crusader works with Lt. Gordon (Gary Oldman, The Fifth Element) to take down Gotham's crime bosses, an individual known only as the Joker (Heath Ledger, I'm Not There) is threatening the city as well as its established mob syndicates. On the flipside, District Attorney Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart, Thank You For Smoking) is quickly rising as Gotham's shining knight within the Halls of Justice. As Batman, Gordon and Dent pledge to eradicate the city's organized crime, their targets employ the Joker to put the interfering bat out of commission.

Writer-director Christopher Nolan (Memento) returns to the Batman franchise, crafting a tale with Jonathan Nolan (Memento) and David S. Goyer (Blade) that attains a structure and momentum unseen in comic-book adaptations to date. Mob bosses divvy up the City's burrows, dirty cops sell their colleagues to the wolves, gangs of bat-inspired vigilantes wreak as much havoc as the madmen who attempt to carve their own initials into Gotham's underbelly. Painting these mainstays of Gotham into the film gives the story a vibrance and solidifies the hefty burden Batman and his like-minded partners have shouldered. In simpler comic book tales, we see the central hero battle against one, maybe two villains who are hellbent on a singular purpose. In the Dark Knight we see Gotham as a festering mass, with the Joker erupting from its epicenter as a whole new kind of evil, a product of his surroundings much like Batman.

With the world's stage set, the actors come to play. Bale remains phenomenal as Batman and playboy Bruce Wayne. Oldman just breathes the integrity of Gordon. The hype surrounding Ledger's final performance is far from hype; within the first few moments of his official introduction to the mob, I was sold that a) he is the Joker and b) this film was going to kick ass. And yes, Aaron Eckhart made me believe in Harvey Dent. Returning cast members Michael Caine (Quills)and Morgan Freeman (Unleashed) add a jovial and fatherly counterbalance to Batman's brooding. The character of Rachel Dawes, now played by Maggie Gyllenhaal (Criminal), is a breath of fresh air. Gyllenhaal asserts Dawes as a woman who is both fearful of the path the men in her life tread and steadfast to weather the turmoil. Eric Roberts (It's My Party) plays devilish well and I look forward to seeing what he and Anthony Michael Hall (TV: The Dead Zone) will contribute to the next installment of this franchise.


Dirty Undies
To say Dark Knight is a dark tale is an understatement. The Joker is represented at his best when he's conceived as coldly calculating yet seemingly random. His wanton destruction, murder and callousness are so dark and devious they'll send a shiver down your spine. All the doom and gloom is lit up by explosions that leave massive carnage in their wake. The fight and chase sequences have only improved from Batman Begins with the camerawork yielding more blunt impact and fewer jittery sequences. Though it has a PG-13 rating, expect a film that emits an R-rated tone.

The Money Shot
If you haven't seen The Dark Knight by now, shame on you or whoever has kept you from it.

Thank God for Hellboy!

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Release: 07.11.2008
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 50 minutes

FULL PRICE ($$$$)

This sequel picks up after the events of 2004's Hellboy, but a few quick introductory sequences alleviate having to have seen the original. Hellboy (Ron Perlman, Blade II) still proudly wears his mantle as the red-skinned stepchild of the B.P.R.D. (Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense). He's got Chief Manning (Jeffrey Tambor, Eurotrip) at wit's end as it is becoming harder and harder to hide the big lug's existence from the general public, especially when Red doesn't consider himself stealth. To make matters worse, Liz (Selma Blair, The Sweetest Thing) is a bit sensitive to Hellboy's insensitivities, straining their relationship and making the team’s missions even more awkward.

Meanwhile, the elven Prince Nuada (Luke Goss, Blade II) has surfaced from the underworld to recover the missing pieces of the Crown of Bethmoora. If Nuada reassembles the crown, he will command the industable, um, indestructible, Golden Army and all of mankind will suffer and cower at his feet. Sounds like a job for...

Based on the comics of the same name created by Mike Mignola, writer-director Guillermo del Toro crafts a tale brimming with action, laughs and complex characters that is widely accessible to audiences both young and old. Where the first film focused on the conflict between Hellboy and the villain Rasputin, Hellboy II tackles the team's acceptance issues. Del Toro takes his character-driven story and polishes it with some spectacularly imaginative creatures. From lumbering ogres with mechanical appendages to diminutive and ravenous tooth fairies to a massive forest elemental; the richly crafted underworld creatures are breathtaking to behold and pose a variety of challenges to Red and the gang. There are a couple changes to the make-up and effects for Abe and Liz that perplex me, but they are easily overlooked. Del Toro's script is heavy-handed in foreshadowing, but given the deep characters he's created, it is easily forgiven.

The actors' portrayals are equally impressive. Goss's haughty attitude and impressive acrobatics make Nuada a worthy nemesis for Red. Perlman is still perfect as Hellboy. He delivers a great one-two punch with his combination of brawn and wittiness. Granted, some of his one-liners are a little weak, but are you gonna be the one to tell the big guy he shouldn't be so cheesy? Besides, hearing Hellboy utter 'oh crap' mid-battle instead of always having the perfect turn of phrase is what makes him so damn endearing. Blair's Liz is vastly improved from her minor role in the original. Abe Sapien (Doug Jones, Pan's Labyrinth; Voice: David Hyde Pierce, A Bug's Life) is also given a hefty subplot and much more screentime to admire his fantastic makeup. It's a film where you get the feeling everyone is having a lot of fun, especially when Manilow reverberates through the halls.


Dirty Undies
The fight sequences are intricately choreographed yet not overly bloody, nor do they need to be. Del Toro's eye for action makes you almost feel the brute force behind every blow from Hellboy's red right hand, every ground-shaking blast from his Samaritan sidearm. When that quality of action mixes with the amazing visuals, the team's mild cursing and just plain funny stuff, the results are oh-so-satisfying.

The Money Shot
Prince Nuada wants the humans to cower before his superiority. Hellboy desires to be at the center of the public's adoring eye for his heroics. When the two collide, the result is fun and excitement for everyone. What makes it even better is that del Toro, in an effort to keep the franchise viable, inserts so many subplots that future installments will not only be necessary, audiences will demand them!

The Golden Goose (Now with Red Accents!)

Iron Man

Release: 05.01.2008
Rated PG-13
2 hours, 6 minutes

FULL PRICE ($$$$)

Ka-ching! Did you hear that? It’s the sound of the till overflowing courtesy of the first film of the blockbuster summer. Marvel’s Iron Man opened this weekend to the tune of $104 million, pounding the competition into the pavement. In the vein of comic adaptations before it, Iron Man is an origins story, chronicling the evolution of brilliant, corporate mogul Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr., U.S. Marshals) into the red-and-gold metallic hero. His fast cars, fast women and devil-may-care attitude are thrown out the door when Stark is kidnapped by terrorists and ordered to build his latest weapon of mass destruction, the Jericho. Instead, Stark is inspired to build a metal suit to affect his own rescue. Once back in the comforts of his lavish lifestyle, the disturbing events of his abduction lead him to improve his unwieldy escape harness into a lean, mean, defending machine.

Any action film that opens rocking out to AC/DC’s Back in Black wins immediate brownie points. Cliché though it may be, when it works it works. Downey is both smug and charismatic; for all the reasons there are to despise Stark you can’t help but desire to be near him…Reporter Christine (Leslie Bibb, Talladega Nights) is proof of that. Also in continuous orbit around Mr. Stark are his assistant Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow, Se7en), his friend Jim Rhodes (Terrence Howard, Hart’s War) and his trusted advisor Obadiah Stone (Jeff Bridges, The Vanishing). The story development is quick-paced and tight. Director Jon Favreau (Elf) develops Stark’s transition from wild playboy to a man on a mission in a way that grabs audiences and consumes our attention. Favreau balances violent, gun-blazing action with sincere emotion and dedication to doing the right thing.

If there is a flaw to be found, I would point my finger at the pseudo-science of suit development. The series of sequences detailing the evolution of the suit had an engineer’s wet dream of a work space complete with intelligent robots, 3-D holographic blueprints, and endless wires, nuts and bolts. It also provided some much needed comic relief via a few failed test runs. Personally, I could have done with less production gadgetry in lieu of a few more test gags. Though I admit I come from a time when left-for-dead Officer Murphy wakes up transformed into the coolest cybernetic body (a.k.a. Robocop) sans the dull and plodding evolutionary jargon. The elaborate workspace made me speculate on the suit’s true limits and the safety of its pilot, but those less nerdy than I should not let my minor quibble deter them.

Dirty Undies
As a boozing, good-time billionaire, Stark has it all, even a private plane with ultra hot stewardesses who transform into strippers at 30,000 feet. Downey is charismatic, though a bit scrawny for a superhero. I guess Terrence Howard was hired to up the manly eye candy since he’s given little else to do. The earlier battle sequences are rapidly paced and satisfyingly destructive. I would have appreciated a more staggering scale of devastation in the climactic battle, but it works well enough to qualify as a proper superhero film.

The Money Shot
It’s taken a while but Marvel seems to grasp the idea; a quality cast really does help the end product. It also helps to have a well-developed script in the hands of a competent director who obviously cares for the material. I don’t think it quite reaches the success of Spider-Man but at least it’s a far cry from Daredevil-Hulk-Punisher-Ghost Rider…um, you get the idea.

P.S. – True believers will enjoy our staple cameo, Stan Lee. But those lovers of all film projects Marvel may want to stick around for a nice foreshadowing cameo after final credits roll.