MILF Rendezvous: The Gang Bang

I'm sure you've been wondering if Man, I Love Films and I have been quarreling. Things have just been hectic on the home front lately, but rest assured I am still getting my biweekly post on, if you know what I mean. To make sure you're privy to all the new shit, here are the posts I've offered up since Junior.

Children of the Corn

The plan here at the vault was to dedicate the month of August completely to babies. But babies grow up to become children and, now that I’m a father, it’s important to raise those babies right. After all, no one wants to let their babies grow up to be psychopaths.

Based on the short story by Stephen King, Children of the Corn follows Burt (Peter Horton) and Vicky (Linda Hamilton) as they travel through Nebraska on their way to Seattle. Burt hits a young child with his car, but the situation seems fishy so the couple veer into the nearest town, Gatlin, to seek help. Little do they know the children of the town follow the leadership of a creepy child, Isaac (John Franklin), who preaches the ways of He Who Walks Behind the Rows.

Rendezvous...

Nine Months

The wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’. The wheel being the creative minds at the MILF. Two months ago the vault inducted Saved! into its hallowed halls. Comments on that review sparked Kai to generate a list of his Top 5 Pregnancy Films. Landing on his list is the Hugh Grant-Julianne Moore film, Nine Months, a rom-com I had never experienced. If I had to guess, in 1995 I instead chose to enjoy Julianne Moore starring alongside Sylvester Stallone and Antonio Banderas in Assassins. With the vault continuing to cover all things baby, it seemed the perfect time to finally get around to watching Nine Months.

Samuel Faulkner (Hugh Grant) and Rebecca Taylor (Julianne Moore) are enjoying another day of non-wedded bliss with a picnic at the beach when Samuel’s blindsided by Rebecca’s marital desires and then by the Dwyers’ kite. Marty Dwyer (Tom Arnold), his wife Gail (Joan Cusack), their three girls, and their dog rush over to apologize for their interruption, but succeed only in cementing Samuel’s desire not to become a breeder such as them. Soon after fate intervenes and Rebecca discovers she’s pregnant. Averse to the idea of marriage and fatherhood, Samuel has to come to terms with his rapidly changing life before his baby is full term.

Rendezvous...

The Hand That Rocks the Cradle

Babies come with a lot of needs and since both parents work to pay the bills, they have to look into supplementary care such as day care or, if they can afford it, a live-in nanny. It pleases the vault to offer up this cautionary tale if you and your significant other are in the market for the latter for your little one.

Claire Bartel (Annabella Sciorra) delivers a healthy baby boy, despite the stress caused by being molested by her seedy new obstetrician, Dr. Victor Mott (John de Lancie). With all of Claire’s responsibilities; volunteering at the local nursery, supervising their handi-capable handyman, Solomon (Ernie Hudson), and building her own hobby greenhouse, her husband, Michael (Matt McCoy), worries Claire will wear herself out by also cooking and caring for their newborn Joey and their older daughter, Emma (Madeline Zima). Their search for a nanny is fruitless until Claire meets Peyton Flanders (Rebecca De Mornay), who has an instant rapport with everyone. Peyton seems to be a godsend for the Bartels until Claire realizes she’s being displaced within her own family.

Rendezvous...

Mr. Mom

Just last month the vault praised Michael Keaton for his turn as the caped crusader in Batman. Keaton could throw down with the Joker and still make it home in time to snuggle up to Vicki Vale. However, is Batman up to the challenge of being a stay-at-home dad?

After engineer Jack Butler (Michael Keaton) is “furloughed” by his boss Jinx (Jeffrey Tambor), Caroline (Teri Garr), Jack’s wife and stay-at-home mom to their three kids Alex (Frederick Koehler), Kenny (Taliesin Jaffe) and Megan (Courtney White, Brittany White), makes a few inquires about finding her own employment. A confident Jack gives her one-hundred-to-one odds that he’ll find work before her. In the blink of an eye, Jack’s cinching up the apron strings and handing over a crisp hundred while Caroline is making quite an impression in the advertising world and on her boss, Ron Richardson (Martin Mull).

Rendezvous...