Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The Baddest Heeb This Side of Tel Aviv

Hanukkah begins at sundown on the eighth of December. I’m not Jewish, but the vault is an equal opportunity column. Sometimes, it’s that simple.

Ridiculed for his Jewish faith during his formative years, Mordechai Jefferson Carver (Adam Goldberg) has grown up and into a heroic career as a certified circumcised dick known as the Hebrew Hammer. As the baddest Heeb this side of Tel Aviv, the Hammer’s called upon by the Jewish Justice League Chief (Peter Coyote) when Damian (Andy Dick), the antisemitic son of Santa Claus (Richard Riehle), seizes control of his father’s reigns. Damian is hell-bent on eradicating Hanukkah and Kwanzaa to make Christmas the only December holiday. The Hebrew Hammer agrees to stop Damian, and though he has help from the JJL’s Esther Bloomenbergensteinenthal (Judy Greer) and Kwanzaa Liberation Front leader Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim (Mario Van Peebles), ultimately the fate of Hanukkah rests entirely on his shoulders.


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