Counting Down the Zeroes: Run! Rabbit! Run!

This post is part of COUNTING DOWN THE ZEROES, brought to you by IBETOLIS of FILM FOR THE SOUL.

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House of 1000 Corpses

Release: 04.11.03
DVD Release: 08.12.03
Rated R
1 hours, 29 minutes


Matinee



I have to go on record as saying House of 1000 Corpses is perhaps one of the best and one of the worst horror films I have ever seen. Approximately three-fourths of it is edgy and phenomenal in its delivery; the remaining just utter filth and a waste of good celluloid. Then again, the horror genre has a wealth of depraved avenues one can traverse; I just prefer some concepts more than others.

The debut picture from musician turned writer-director Rob Zombie opens on All Hallow's Eve with four college kids traveling along the back roads of Texas (has a familiar ring to it, right?). Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig, Jackie Brown) runs the roadside Gasoline, Fried Chicken, and Horror Museum where the kids stop to stock up for the last leg of their voyage home. The museum tour chronicles notorious mass murderers, including the local legend, Dr. Satan, which sparks the kids’ need to drive out to the fabled killer's remote stomping grounds in the cold, rainy dead of night. One hitchhiker named Baby (Sheri Moon) and one flat tire later, the kids end up at the home of the Firefly family. After partaking in the Firefly Halloween celebration and getting the car repaired, their fun really begins.

To read the full post, head over to Film for the Soul...

Round 2 - FIGHT!

VS

Stargazers, Gather 'round!

Round 2 of the Sirens of the LAMBs is officially underway! First up; my contendor Baby Firefly versus Asami Yamazaki handled by Faux Nixon. I encourage everyone to check out the battle prose and vote for your favorite. Warning! What I wrote is somewhat disturbed and looks like Asami's write-up is equally sadistic so if you have a weak stomach be wary.

Enjoy!

Flawless Victory: Sirens of the LAMBs

A quick post to let you know my femme fatale of choice, Baby Firefly from the films House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects has sailed into Round 2 of the Sirens of the LAMBs bracket. I'm a little sad that Princess Nausicaa lost the nerve to even attempt to fight me, but if you know Baby, you know it was for the best. Still, I hope you all take a moment to check out my battle prose over at the LAMB.

In Round 2 my opponent will be the only other chick in the bracket remotely as twisted as Baby Firefly. That opponent who survived her Round 1 encounter with Catwoman from Batman Returns; Asami Yamazaki from the film Audition. If you're into sick, twisted and gorific details, you're in for a treat when the two of us square off. I'll let you know when the smackdown is under way!

I do have some sad news to report. River Tam of Serenity was also in Round 1, but lost to the Bride from Kill Bill. I am a ginormous fan of Summer Glau so I am sad to see her go but glad that I won't have to go head-to-head with her!

Baby Firefly's Round 1 write-up

Repeat Bidness: House of 1000 Corpses

House of 1000 Corpses


Release: 04/11/2003
DVD: 08/12/2003
Rated R
1 hour, 29 minutes


Matinee ($$$)


I can't believe this Stargazers! I finally start a blog and now my free-movie stream has all but dried up. Since I was denied a sneak peek into Rob Zombie's re-imagining of the classic horror film, "Halloween," I have decided to dig up one of the first reviews I ever wrote for the first film Zombie ever made. Without further adieu...

The debut picture from writer/director/musician Rob Zombie tells the story of four college kids traveling along the back roads of Texas (does any of this sound familiar?) on All Hallows Eve. Captain Spaulding, brilliantly performed by Sid Haig (Jackie Brown), runs the roadside Gasoline, Fried Chicken, and Horror Museum where the kids stop into to stock up for the last leg of their voyage home. The museum tour chronicles a local mass-murdering legend, Dr. Satan, and sparks the kids’ need to drive out to the remote killing grounds of the legend in the cold, rainy dead of night. One hitchhiker named Baby, played by Sheri Moon, and one flat tire later, the kids end up at the home of the Firefly family. After partaking in the Firefly Halloween celebration and getting the car repaired, the fun really begins.

I am going on record as saying this is perhaps one of the best and one of the worst horror films I have ever seen. Approximately two thirds of this film is edgy and phenomenal in its deliverance; the remaining portion is utter filth and a waste of good celluloid. Perhaps the darkest, most twisted character is Otis Firefly, creepily portrayed by Bill Moseley (*Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2). Otis will single handedly freak you out. He’s the answer of the question “What if Ted Nugent was insane, correction an insane mass murderer.” The gore and violence are wonderfully sick and twisted; the influences of many horror classics are plainly evident in this film. Unfortunately, many horrific horror film fumbles are also present. Zombie’s directing segues into a music video vantage with random cuts and digital effects unnecessary for the development of the story.

Dirty Undies
Sheri Moon is a sexy, beautiful woman who flaunts what she’s got in this flick. She has a brief scene of nudity scattered throughout the music video cuts. Her high-pitched joyful schoolgirl laughter intensified her intriguing debut performance. Bill Moseley makes Billy Bob Thornton seem sane and dull. Sid Haig is a dreadful delight as he single-handedly holds the record for profanity. He couldn’t open his mouth without making a sailor blush and I’d love to see him in more features. Overall “House’ is a very bloody and deliberately brutal film with a smidgeon of violence tossed in to help offset the blood. One last notable mention is the trip to the local ABC store with the ingenious logo.

The Money Shot
“House of 1000 Corpses” has something for every aficionado of the horror audience, and that is where it fails. In trying to make a dish palatable to all connoisseurs, Rob Zombie inevitably created a film with a lot of indigestible tripe. All that said, it is still a must see. I recommend seeing this movie simply on the well-developed and unique characterizations; what you try to get from the rest of the flick is done so at your own risk.