Confessions of a Reel Whore, Part IV

It's Monday. More importantly, it’s Day 4 of my 7-Day Confessions meaning we've reached the apex of this wild roller-coaster recap. It will only get more exciting from here so get caught up if you're behind!

Post I; Post II; Post III

Today's two awards will focus on the most memorable moments in 2007 cinema, Those moments that make some movies great and some others more tolerable.

Award #5: Most Memorable Movie Moments of 2007

When you watch movie after movie after movie it can sometimes become hard to distinguish between the so-so entries. Every once in a while a comedy, horror, drama, etc. comes along that makes a lasting impression on your psyche. The following award recognizes the bestest comedic or action moments that were burned into my mind last year.

The Sloppy Seconds:

Sex-Starved Rae Swallows Lincoln Whole (Black Snake Moan)

This is truly a sight to behold. Fueled by the desire twixt her nethers, Rae seemingly envelopes a young man from the eve of Lazarus's doorway in one determined and sensuous motion. I still can't believe just how nimble and ravenous Ricci was in this unforgettable scene.

"Because only Spartan women give birth to real men." (300)

It was tough selecting the most memorable scene from such a sumptuous film given the expanse of beautiful and stylized violence. It may come as a shock that Queen Gorgo beats all comers with her unyielding stance on the Senate floor.

The Prostitute Prop (Eastern Promises)

Nikolai is pushed to defend his masculinity for Kirill, but it’s his chosen place of rest after the deed that exhibits his callous nature.

Big Brother Sets the Example (American Gangster)

On their first big day to the Big Apple, Frank Lucas offers up a little pre-breakfast demonstration of his business to his siblings that forces them, and audiences, out of their seats!

I'm the Friendly Stranger in the Black Sedan... (Grindhouse)

All I can say is that this chase sequence, pretty much the last half hour of Death Proof, will have you on the edge of your seat from start to finish.

Payback: He's the Bitch. (Descent)

Watching Maya (Rosario Dawson) being raped will have you shockingly fixated, but it’s her revenge that is undoubtedly the best dish served up.

And the Most Memorable Movie Moment of 2007 goes to:

Vehicular Homicide: Van Damme Style

(Death Proof segment of Grindhouse)

During the height of Jean-Claude Van Damme's action stardom (circa 1989-1994), he was known for two things: 1) performing painful-looking splits across chairs and 2) the triple-take roundhouse kick. Tarantino employs the latter technique and does us one better. In Death Proof we witness the gruesome simultaneous demise of multiple ladies up close and personal. This has, hands down, the most realistic severed appendage I have ever seen in a film! Glorious.

Award #6: Most Memorable Music or Dance Performance of 2007

For those of you wondering where some of your favorite musical moments were in that list, I should have mentioned I devote an entire reward specifically to those. Music and dance sequences are no longer reserved for artist biopics and musicals. In fact, some of the best moments this year came from neither of the two musicals in competition!

The Sloppy Seconds:

Fire and Ice (Blades of Glory)

When golden child Jimmy MacElroy and bad boy Chazz Michael Michaels are banned from figure skating all seems lost. But the reunion of these two enemies on the ice is just comedic perfection. The nearly extinct film career of Jon Heder is revived in this one spectacular performance while Ferrell maintains his iconic comedic status.

Ving "Holiday Heart" Rhames Is Every Woman (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry)

If there's anything to take away from INPYC&L it's that even in the communal shower, Ving Rhames is, undeniably, the man.

Baptism By Blues (Black Snake Moan)

The thunder rolls and the lightning strikes...um wait, wrong music genre. One of the most powerful moments between Rae and Lazarus is the redemption of their souls amidst the rising torrent of the dark night.

This a Winner? Watch it, "That's How You Know" (Enchanted)

A walk through Central Park for Robert and Giselle turns into a musical extravaganza. You almost believe Amy Adams's infectious smile invokes this perfectly executed rendition.

The Big Break (Once)

In this must-see film, it is the studio tech's tune that changes when this ragtag group of performers strike their first note in the recording studio.

Cera's Serenade and Hill's Humped-Leg Folly (Superbad)

Around the homestead we affectionately refer to this sequence as the "period dance." When buddies Seth and Evan are separated at the house party, it’s the bumpin' and grindin' and the rendition of "These Eyes" that will leave you in tears of laughter.

And the Most Memorable Music or Dance Performance of 2007 goes to:

Richardson

(Hot Rod)

WHat did I say? WHy would this make the top of the list? Am I drunk on Whiskey, you may ask? No, in fact, I am completely sober when I say that Hot Rod has some of the funniest musical moments of all the films in competition. Of its five outstanding sequences, I chose the one that came a close second to "Cool Beans" in our household: Richardson (Chester Tam). This gyrating Asian giant made me nearly fall out of my seat with laughter. It may not be as funny without the proper context, but I say enjoy it anyway!

Another day, another set of awards presented. Tune in tomorrow--same bat-time, same bat-channel--as the revelries continue.