Get Those Cards in the Mail

Hola stargazers! January 2011 is at an end and we'll be full swing into February by week's end. It's important to remember not to get so caught up in the new month that you forget to send warm and fuzzy birthday wishes to one of my favorite artists. This Wednesday while everyone else is watching to see if the groundhog will tuck his tail betwixt his nads and scurry back into his hole, somewhere in the world Shakira will be celebrating her 34th birthday.

Shakira will be back on the road in March promoting her latest album, Sale el Sol. The album is excellent, by the way, in case you haven't taken time to give it a listen. However, for this week's selection I delved one album back, to the She Wolf track list, and selected a song released in February 2010. Enjoy.

Shakira - Gypsy

If you happen to run into Shakira, give her a fervent ¡Feliz Cumpleaños! from Reel Whore, but tell her if she wants my big hug and sloppy wet kiss she'll need to come visit me some time.

.

FMK Friday: Confessions' Cuties

I can't let January depart without introducing a fresh round of Fuck, Marry Kill. After posting the results of the last FMK Friday, I asked for suggestions for future match-ups and wow have I gotten some great suggestions! They were so good they sparked a must-do battle I'm sure will excite you. Not sure what this F-M-K is, here's the gist:

To play I present you, my readers, with three people. You must decide which person you'd like to bed, which you'd wed and which you want dead. It's not always as simple as it sounds.

It's award season and while the Guilds, the HFPA and the Academy have all announced their nominations, one more set of awards still remain; The Reel Whore's Confessions. I have been compiling my nominations and diligently narrowing the contenders. While you wait, no doubt anxiously, for my week long ceremony to begin, why not reminisce over the awesomeness of past winners?

Thus, Round 10 is born. Sexiest Actress is one of the most difficult and highly contended awards, and it is by no small feat these ladies have risen to the top. That's why the question remains, over the last three years, which of Reel Whore's Sexiest Actresses would you...

Fuck, Marry, Kill

Confessions' Cuties

From left to right:

Rose McGowan; (Winner-2007) While she appeared in both segments of Grindhouse, it was her role as Cherry Darling that will immediately have you upright in your seat. Her transformation from down-trodden damsel in distress to destructionatrix makes her even more desirable. Add in a sensuous sex scene, not to mention her great comedic timing, and she's damn near the perfect woman. Looking back, I bet Marilyn Manson wishes he had locked that down!
Penélope Cruz; (Winner-2008) Though her conservative Cuban character in Elegy was quite the contrast to the unfettered but unstable ex-lover in Vicky Cristina Barcelona, her sultry nature shone through in both roles. When comparing her to the others, she burned the category with her Spanish heat! 
Marion Cotillard; (Winner-2009) She wowed us all with her feminine wiles in both Public Enemies and Nine. As Contini's wife, Luisa, she performs a demure, somber tune about her husband. Later, she unleashes her womanly fervor in angry rejection of said husband's ways. In Public Enemies, she doesn't get to sing and dance, but as Dillinger's girl, Billie Frechette, she was the sexiest woman in any room. Even when that room is the police interrogation room where she pisses herself. That kind of love and stubbornness is commendable, and sexy.


Round 10 will run until February 10th so get those votes in quickly!

Choose wisely.

.

Trailer Trash: The January 28th Quickie

Welcome, stargazers, to the last week of January releases. I'd say that we've turned a corner, but I have seen the future that is February and it does not bode well. Gnomeo & Juliet, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son, Justin Bieber: Never Say Never?! Can we PLEASE skip on over to March? P-P-PLEASE, Eddie?

The future is for worrying about tomorrow. Today we're concerned with the latest Hollywood offerings. According to IMDb this means two major releases and two limited releases. One limited release, Biutiful, has already picked up a couple of Oscar noms despite barely opening stateside. Snub me, my friend? No, snub you! I'm certain my lack of trailer coverage will cripple it's box office receipts. The real question is, will my reaction to the major releases influence patrons?


The Mechanic January's nearly gone, but finally there's a new release I'm anxious to see. The poster is boring, the TV spots are pathetic, but at least the official trailer gives some gist of the plot. I'm a fan of both Jason Statham and Ben Foster and it feels like ages since Donald Sutherland's been let loose to chew up the scenery, but the biggest selling point? The Restricted shingle promises strong brutal violence throughout, language, some sexual content and nudity. That's what I'm talkin' about! 

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


The Rite 2010 was not kind to Anthony Hopkins and if The Rite trailers are any indication, 2011 is intent to keep kicking the man while he's down. The premise entices me to go, but The Book of Eli and The Unborn have left me theater-shy when it comes to January-released, religious-themed thrillers. Despite the deep-seated urge to see Rutger Hauer on the big screen, the trailers compel me to steer clear. Get behind me, Satan! Get behind me!

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.


That's all she wrote, folks. Proofreading my post, I realize I made three references to two 80's films. Since one is rather obvious, I'll give mad kudos to anyone who can name the other, twice-referenced film.

The Hump: No. 3

MMM: Boom, Boom, Boom

Another Monday, another Mood Music. I got a very exciting bit of news last week. A singer from my "Artists to See Before They Die" list announced they're coming to my area this June! The bad news is that ticket sales start this Saturday. I haven't even got paid this month and folks are already trying to drain my bank account!

If I so choose to torture myself, I could tune into my local annoying radio station to do the "listen and win" thing. Considering I'm rarely that lucky, I'll just suck it up and buy the tickets. What do I work for if not to piss away my coin on my latest whim? At least the purchase will fall to next month's credit card bill.

Besides, I want to be certain to get the closest and bestest seats possible. I doubt she'll put on a stage production of Gaga grandeur, but there are a couple of great reasons to get a front row vantage. Why don't I shut up and put my money where my mouth is while I let you enjoy a live rendition of Katy Perry's latest hit.

Katy Perry - Firework (Live)

Anyone out there have any must-see artists on their 2011 concert wishlist?
.

Trailer Trash: The January 21st Quickie

Since the Golden Globes have crowned their best of 2010, I suspect most stargazers will be running out to finally watch Black Swan, The Social Network, or The Fighter this weekend instead of worrying about the latest new releases. If you're like me and have already seen all the big award contenders, you're only left with this week's scraps. According to IMDb those scraps include two major releases. At least these films look better than the offerings of the last two weeks...marginally better that is.


The Company Men Despite having the weight of four Academy Award winners, this fall release was quickly swept into the dregs of the new year. My guess is experiencing our current economic crises through a hopeful Hollywood lens is the last thing audiences want to do at the moment. Expect this to be a film worth watching...a few years from now.




Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


No Strings Attached Paramount's poised to capitalize from the Natalie Portman buzz, more so with the power of the Golden Globe behind her. Taffy never needed prestige to convince me to see her movies, but even I have pause to watch her with Mr. Demi. "The Kutcher Plus" method of romancing audiences; pairing him with love interests like Brittany Murphy, Zoe Saldana, Cameron Diaz, Kevin Costner and Katherine Heigl has had varied results.


Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


There's also a limited release opening this weekend, but I'm expecting the dramatic true story, The Way Back, will be receiving even less buzz than our major releases in this post-Globe, pre-Oscar atmosphere. To those of you who noticed the Green Hornet review I promised is still missing from the site, I promise it is forthcoming. It's just taken me longer than I thought to wrap my head around the silliness.

Special Request: Mississippi Damned

Mississippi Damned

Release: Festivals
Rated UR
2 hours

Full Price

Mississippi Damned follows the lives of three children in rural Mississippi surviving on the hope to live out adulthood anywhere but. Starting in 1986, the oldest, Leigh (Chasity Kershal Hammite), counts her pennies and the days until she can escape the oppression and disapproval of her family.

To escape Leigh would leave her younger sister Kari (Kylee Russell) behind with their critical mother, Dolores (Michael Hyatt, The Good Girl), and gambling-addicted father, Junior (Adam Clark, Public Enemies). Luckily, their aunt Anna (Simbi Khali, We Were Soldiers) has helped to nurture the musician in Kari. Fast forward to 1998 when Kari (Tessa Thompson, For Colored Girls) has the opportunity to leave for college.

The girls' cousin, Sammy (Malcolm David Kelley, Antwone Fisher), hopes his skills on the court will be his ticket to a better life, but his alcoholic mother, Charlie (Jossie Thacker, TV: Living Single) drinks away the money needed to send him to the recruit. Though he escapes, the adult Sammy (Malcolm Goodwin, American Gangster) finds himself returning to the homestead just as Kari struggles to make her dreams come true.

I don't usually provide such a lengthy synopsis in a review, but should you choose to watch Mississippi Damned (which I highly recommend you do), you will discover an intricately woven story. Writer-director Tina Mabry draws from her own experiences growing up in Tupelo, Mississippi to craft her feature-length debut. Damned is anything but light fare. Mabry tackles themes of sexual abuse, alcoholism and murder, showing how these sins of the parents are visited upon the children.

The greatest strength of Mississippi Damned is the exceptional cast. For many, Tessa Thompson and D.B Woodside (Romeo Must Die) may be most recognizable; she for her stints on the shows Heroes and Veronica Mars, he for his work on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 24, and most recently, Hellcats. While they give strong performances, their costars are just as deserving of praise. All the major players skillfully convey the stark reality of their characters' lives.

The cinematography crafts an oppressive and claustrophobic mood. There are, however, a few scenes when I would have preferred more lighting. The dimness deprived audiences of the full weight of the actors' performances.   

Mississippi Damned doesn't conform to the cycle of lows and highs one would find in Hollywood films. Though atypical, it's emotionally stirring and riveting. Don't take my word for it; trust the judgment of the numerous festivals which have awarded Mississippi Damned several best narrative and best feature film awards.

---

If you're interested in seeing an overlooked gem, the DVD is available exclusively on the film's website; www.mississippidamned.com/store

.

The Hump: No. 02

MMM: Another Heart in Need of Rescue

Over the weekend I saw two films, Barry Munday and The Fighter. Both films featured an iconic 80's rock ballad. If that isn't a sign that it should be this week's mood music selection, I don't know what is. By the by, it is also featured in one of my all-time favorite comedies, Old School.

Since the cable companies didn't run cable lines into the boondocks, it wasn't until college that I was able to fully enjoy music videos. Had I seen this video when it was originally released, who knows what watching Tawny Kitaen writhing on the hood of cars in white lingerie might have done for my pubescent mind. Apparently, it did lots for lead singer David Coverdale since he later married Ms. Kitaen.

Whitesnake - Here I Go Again

Did this song, or Tawny Kitaen, have any impact on you?

.

Trailer Trash: The January 14th Quickie

Nicolas Cage's Season of the Witch jumpstarted the lameness of 2011 and this week proves there's no signs of the crapitude relenting. The two major releases for this week listed at IMDb look, um shall we say, less than stellar.

The Green Hornet In case you missed it, I ripped Green Hornet a fairly roomy new asshole last week in the post And I Thought 2010 Sucked..., so there's not much left to say about these trailers. I will admit, as low as my opinion was of Green Hornet, I was still coerced into attending a free 3D screening last night. Guess I still had some interest in seeing if Kato could carry the movie.



Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.



 
The Dilemma
Vince Vaughn used to be so money, but his last few projects seems like he's shucking more for the coinage than being genuinely entertaining. As for K-Jam, I'm still waiting to laugh in any of his movies. Those should be reason enough to avoid this, but if you need one more; trailers for The Rabbit Hole are way funnier than any I've seen for The Dilemma.


Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.


That's a wrap for this week's releases, stargazers. Tune in soon to read my stinging review of The Green Hornet. Find out if all the buzz is merited or if it'll be the weekend buzzkill. Wokka-wokka!

The Hump: No. 15

MMM: Raise Your Glass

Good morning stargazers. It's been over two weeks and I am still working my way through all the new music I was gifted during the holidays. Of those many albums, I just finished Kanye West's My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. I'm glad I wrapped it up considering he's set to release the first single for his next album tomorrow! The man is nothing if not prolific.

I was hoping I could have found an uncensored version of this week's selection, but no such luck. You'll just have to deal with all the muted spots where the cursing should be. It's almost as enjoyable.

Kanye West f/ Pusha T - Runaway

Has anyone watched his short film based around this song? When I find a free half hour, maybe I'll give it a view.

.

FMK Friday: Ball Droppin' Dudes - The Results

It's first Friday! I've got something special planned for the next round of FMK, but before I get into that let's see how the previous round of Fuck, Marry Kill shook out. If you still don't know how this game works, here we go:

To play I present you, my readers, with three people. You must decide which person you'd like to bed, which you'd wed and which you want dead. It's not always as simple as it sounds.


The theme of Round 9, Ball Droppin' Dudes, received a total of sixteen votes. I believe that's a record for this feature! I expected to see a close race, but it turned out overwhelmingly brutal for one gentleman. In the end voters chose to:

Fuck Viggo,
Marry Ewan,
Kill Peter



Taking a closer look at the votes we see:

Fuck Viggo: Viggo was the voters choice to bed, even before I cast my vote. It was a tough decision for me. On the one hand, Ewan seems like a dreamy fella; a once in a lifetime lay. On the other hand, Viggo immediately conjures images of mountains, sheep tending and roughing it. If the tent's a rockin'...  
Marry Ewan: My vote made Ewan the irrefutable choice for wedded bliss. Viggo's probably great in the sack and equally handy around the house, but there's just something about Ewan. It makes you want to love him, and hug him, and squeeze him, and call him George. I bet he gives great spoon.
Kill Peter: As M. Hufstader commented, Peter freaked her out in Skeleton Key. Apparently, she's not alone. In the end, even I chose to give him the axe. He seems like a sweet enough guy and he has kind eyes, but he does play unhinged characters a little too well. Besides, if he eats it, Maggie will be left alone and in need of considerable consoling.

***

To kick off the new year, I want to hear your contenders for Round 10. Over the next week, give me your favorite FMK match-up in the comments. Provide your top three contenders be they actual people or imaginary characters, male, female, etc. My only request is that they be somewhat recognizable to the masses. The goal is to get tons of voter participation, not leave people scratching their heads. I'll choose from the potentials next week and get the battle started. I can't wait to get your suggestions!

.

Trailer Trash: The January 7th Quickie

It's baaaaaaaaaack! After a couple weeks' holiday hiatus the Trailer Trash returns! Unfortunately, based on the latest IMDb information I only have one release to preview. It's probably best I ease back into things anyway. Enough jibber-jabber, let us see the first offering of 2011.

Season of the Witch Hasn't Nicolas Cage done enough of these shitty movies to have paid those pesky back taxes yet?! Granted, Witch was supposed to drop last year, but has instead been passed along like a stripper with a cold sore until landing on the worst release date of the year. The original trailer is even more painful than the current action-heavy TV spots! It's best Cage fans ignore this one, he has six more projects in the pipe. One of those has to prove promising, right?

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy. 

If you're like me, you'll be catching up on those last few 2010 must-see movies this weekend. Once I get King's Speech under my belt, the extremely long but totally worth it process of developing my Best of 2010 can begin!

.

And I Thought 2010 Sucked...

Can you believe it? The Reel Whore is finally publishing content that is not a Monday Mood Music, Hump, or Trailer Trash! It has been longer than I care to report, but I am finally getting my arse back in gear for 2011. I don't think I suffered from blogger burnout so much as bad movie burnout (among other things). Up until December, 2010 was a lackluster year for film with only an occasional diamond to remind moviegoers of what we was lacking. What can you hope for when the bulk of 2010 film budgets were squandered on 3D rendering instead of story development and competent direction? Thankfully, television studios got it right last year or stargazers would have been at a complete loss. That's another topic for another time.

You have to be wondering what could inspire the Reel Whore to put finger to keyboard once again. You can thank Seth Rogen and his upcoming film, The Green Hornet. When teasers first aired last summer, I admit there was a tingling twixt my movie nethers. Kato looked badass and I was amped to see what sort of despicable villain Waltz would bring to the screen. Teasers gave way to full blown trailers and my excitement fizzled to mild interest. Kato and his kung fu action was all that kept me hopeful enough to want to drop cash on a matinee. Then came the Hornet-Hardee's spots which were cheesy, but those hand-breaded chicken tenders are tasty so I can overlook the cross promotional pandering.

Last night my final strand of interest in Green Hornet went limp. The latest spot features Seth Rogen giving audiences a karaoke version of Coolio's Gangsta Paradise as he and Kato cruise the streets keeping them safe from crime. Seriously? Coolio can't even get anyone to pay him to sing his song, so why would audiences care to see Seth's rendition? If you haven't seen it, take a look:

Given it's January release date and the action-heavy trailers, my expectations were amazingly low, now this movie may be past redemption. My movie buddy is going to have to do a lot of convincing to get me to pay for this. So much for placing hope in better movies in 2011.

What about you? Anyone give a rat's ass about seeing The Green Hornet opening weekend?

.

The Hump: No. 47

MMM: I Swear I Can Be Better

Happy New Year Stargazers! Welcome to the first Monday Mood Music of 2011. Enjoy.

First Aid Kit - Ghost Town