FMK Friday: Confessions' Cuties

I can't let January depart without introducing a fresh round of Fuck, Marry Kill. After posting the results of the last FMK Friday, I asked for suggestions for future match-ups and wow have I gotten some great suggestions! They were so good they sparked a must-do battle I'm sure will excite you. Not sure what this F-M-K is, here's the gist:

To play I present you, my readers, with three people. You must decide which person you'd like to bed, which you'd wed and which you want dead. It's not always as simple as it sounds.

It's award season and while the Guilds, the HFPA and the Academy have all announced their nominations, one more set of awards still remain; The Reel Whore's Confessions. I have been compiling my nominations and diligently narrowing the contenders. While you wait, no doubt anxiously, for my week long ceremony to begin, why not reminisce over the awesomeness of past winners?

Thus, Round 10 is born. Sexiest Actress is one of the most difficult and highly contended awards, and it is by no small feat these ladies have risen to the top. That's why the question remains, over the last three years, which of Reel Whore's Sexiest Actresses would you...

Fuck, Marry, Kill

Confessions' Cuties

From left to right:

Rose McGowan; (Winner-2007) While she appeared in both segments of Grindhouse, it was her role as Cherry Darling that will immediately have you upright in your seat. Her transformation from down-trodden damsel in distress to destructionatrix makes her even more desirable. Add in a sensuous sex scene, not to mention her great comedic timing, and she's damn near the perfect woman. Looking back, I bet Marilyn Manson wishes he had locked that down!
Penélope Cruz; (Winner-2008) Though her conservative Cuban character in Elegy was quite the contrast to the unfettered but unstable ex-lover in Vicky Cristina Barcelona, her sultry nature shone through in both roles. When comparing her to the others, she burned the category with her Spanish heat! 
Marion Cotillard; (Winner-2009) She wowed us all with her feminine wiles in both Public Enemies and Nine. As Contini's wife, Luisa, she performs a demure, somber tune about her husband. Later, she unleashes her womanly fervor in angry rejection of said husband's ways. In Public Enemies, she doesn't get to sing and dance, but as Dillinger's girl, Billie Frechette, she was the sexiest woman in any room. Even when that room is the police interrogation room where she pisses herself. That kind of love and stubbornness is commendable, and sexy.


Round 10 will run until February 10th so get those votes in quickly!

Choose wisely.

.

FMK Friday: Ball Droppin' Dudes - The Results

It's first Friday! I've got something special planned for the next round of FMK, but before I get into that let's see how the previous round of Fuck, Marry Kill shook out. If you still don't know how this game works, here we go:

To play I present you, my readers, with three people. You must decide which person you'd like to bed, which you'd wed and which you want dead. It's not always as simple as it sounds.


The theme of Round 9, Ball Droppin' Dudes, received a total of sixteen votes. I believe that's a record for this feature! I expected to see a close race, but it turned out overwhelmingly brutal for one gentleman. In the end voters chose to:

Fuck Viggo,
Marry Ewan,
Kill Peter



Taking a closer look at the votes we see:

Fuck Viggo: Viggo was the voters choice to bed, even before I cast my vote. It was a tough decision for me. On the one hand, Ewan seems like a dreamy fella; a once in a lifetime lay. On the other hand, Viggo immediately conjures images of mountains, sheep tending and roughing it. If the tent's a rockin'...  
Marry Ewan: My vote made Ewan the irrefutable choice for wedded bliss. Viggo's probably great in the sack and equally handy around the house, but there's just something about Ewan. It makes you want to love him, and hug him, and squeeze him, and call him George. I bet he gives great spoon.
Kill Peter: As M. Hufstader commented, Peter freaked her out in Skeleton Key. Apparently, she's not alone. In the end, even I chose to give him the axe. He seems like a sweet enough guy and he has kind eyes, but he does play unhinged characters a little too well. Besides, if he eats it, Maggie will be left alone and in need of considerable consoling.

***

To kick off the new year, I want to hear your contenders for Round 10. Over the next week, give me your favorite FMK match-up in the comments. Provide your top three contenders be they actual people or imaginary characters, male, female, etc. My only request is that they be somewhat recognizable to the masses. The goal is to get tons of voter participation, not leave people scratching their heads. I'll choose from the potentials next week and get the battle started. I can't wait to get your suggestions!

.

FMK Friday: Ball Droppin' Dudes

Damn if this hasn't been a long time coming!  My last round of FMK Friday wrapped up nearly a month ago, but the busy-ness of the season has kept me from posting the results time and again. No worries, the latest round of Fuck, Marry Kill has definitely been worth the wait! If you are unfamiliar with the game, here's how it goes:

To play I present you, my readers, with three people. You must decide which person you'd like to bed, which you'd wed and which you want dead. It's not always as simple as it sounds.

The theme of Round 8, Birthday Beauties, received a total of eleven votes. I expected fierce competition between these ladies, but was that the case? Voters overwhelmingly chose to:

Fuck Thandie,
Marry Emma,
Kill Rebecca




Interesting. When we take a closer look at the votes we see:



Poor, poor Rebecca. Here I was thinking she'd give Thandie and Emma lots of competition, and then everyone goes and gives her the axe.

Fuck Thandie: Thandie and Emma would have been tied in this category, but like many voters I had to choose Ms. Newton to help me defy the laws of physics. With her training as a dancer, my guess is every Kama Sutra position would be attainable. 
Marry Emma: Emma and Thandie also tied the knot for wedded bliss prior to my vote. My woman says I've always had a thing for younger ladies, but I'd like to think it's Emma's love of yummy food and great comedies that gave her the edge. While polygamy is illegal, Emma would be worth the risk.
Kill Rebecca: I'm no better than the rest of you! I was never much of a Romijn fanatic until Ugly Betty, but the competition was simply too stiff for her to survive. At least Jerry's granted her a stay of execution.

***
Welcome to Round 9! With the new year just around the corner, I wanted a poll befitting the season.  That's why you'll have until the ball drops in 2011 to decide which hunky, wang-dangling actor rings your bell.

In recent years, the proliferation of penis has increased in movies thanks, in no small part, to these fellas. Before you ask, Harvey Keitel has been excluded from competition due to his legendary status as a penis pusher. Conversely, Colin Farrell has been expelled from contention for his exposure in Alexander. There were so many things wrong with that movie, but his sack silhouette was the wrongest of all. That begs the question, who measured up? 

Fuck, Marry, Kill

Ball Droppin' Dudes

From left to right:
Ewan McGregor; He could beat the Cheshire Cat in a grinning contest, but if he drops trou you wouldn't care if the man even had a face. Thanks to his roles in The Pillow Book and Young Adam, audiences recognize his willingness to let it all hang out.
 
Viggo Mortensen; I thought Viggo couldn't get any manlier after taking Maria Bello on the stairs in A History of Violence, then along came Eastern Promises. When it's kill or be killed, not even a towel can keep his manliness under wraps! I can only imagine he'll whip it out and spank it in his next Cronenberg collaboration.

Peter Sarsgaard; Filling out the contenders is Peter with his fearless display of, well, peter in Kinsey. Granted, I don't think anyone, woman or man, could turn down Liam Neeson if propositioned, but it takes a lot of balls to put it out there for all to see.


Round 9 will run through December 31st. That gives you two weeks to show your favorite fella the proper support. When the ball drops, which man will rise above the rest?

Choose wisely.
.

FMK Friday: Birthday Beauties

Last week I posted the results of my FMK Halloween edition. Now it's November and time for a spanky new round of Fuck, Marry Kill!

To play I present you, my readers, with three people. You must decide which person you'd like to bed, which you'd wed and which you want dead. It's not always as simple as it sounds.

Welcome to Round 8. Many of you may not know this, but my birthday is this month. In honor of the day I was born, I'll be pitting three lovely actresses who share my birthday against one another. In selecting the contenders I was surprised to have such a large selection of lovely people. Obviously, it was a good day for birthing sexy folk. Although these ladies were beautiful enough to make it to competition, the question remains, who will survive...

Fuck, Marry, Kill

Birthday Beauties

From left to right

Rebecca Romijn; A California girl-turned-model-turned-actress, Rebecca has been ranked on numerous "sexiest women" lists. You'd never guess she's the mother of twins! Her perfect birthday would be a day of thrift store shopping, a meal of filet mignon and Häagen-Dazs, followed by front row tickets to a Dolly Parton concert.

Thandie Newton; Across the pond, Thandie Newton is a dancer-turned-actress and mother of two also featured on a few "sexiest women" lists. If planning a fun birthday for Thandie it should include horseback riding followed by wine and pastries. Being a practical joker, she'd appreciate a bag of gags or you being a good sport when she pranks you. 

Emma Stone; Despite being the youngest contender, Emma is no stranger to "sexiest women" lists." Whether it's a tasty Mexican place or Morton's, you'll make her birthday a blast by ordering the spinach dip (get your own if you want any!). Put a cherry on top by curling up on the couch with marshmallow sundaes and a DVD of SNL - Best of Gilda Radner.


You may want to remember those gift ideas in case you need to make amends for your vote! Round 8 will run until November 24th. That gives you almost three weeks to decide which birthday beauty is top on your own personal "sexiest" list

Choose wisely.
.

FMK Friday: Final Girls Fight! - The Results

While the Week of Reel Whorror is still on a break, let's take a brief moment to review the results of this month's horror themed round of Fuck, Marry Kill! If you are unfamiliar with the game, here's how it goes:

To play I present you, my readers, with three people. You must decide which person you'd like to bed, which you'd wed and which you want dead. It's not always as simple as it sounds.

The theme of Round 7, Final Girls Fight!, received a total of ten votes. Not too shabby a turnout for just a few weeks of voting. Here's how the queens of the 70s, 80s, and 90s final girls fared under your scrutiny:   

Fuck Nancy (or Sidney),
Marry Laurie (or Nancy),
Kill Sidney (or Laurie)



Wow! I think these crazy voting splits is a first! Taking a closer look at the votes we see:

It's obvious voters have a love/hate relationship with Sidney, but Laurie and Nancy are on equal footing with one another.

Fuck Sidney: There is something alluring about Sidney Prescott and the bulk of voters are definitely drawn to her. I, too, came close to bedding Ms. Prescott, but ultimately I saw a couple of huge advantages to laying with Laurie Strode. Sometimes, there has to be more than a great pair of lungs on a gal.   
Marry Laurie or Marry Nancy: If not for my vote, the majority would have made Laurie the marrying type. Lucky for Nancy I swooped in and tied things up. Let's be real; long-term Laurie is a nutcase and no one wants to be hitched to an unbalanced woman (Is that redundant? I kid!) Nancy knows her way around a bedroom and is skilled at using rope, two keeper qualities.
Kill Sidney: The Army of Darkness line, "First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me," springs to mind for Sidney. As many of us wanted her dead as we wanted her alive and screaming, myself included. Sidney is a fearsome contender, but I just couldn't see her surviving one night with me, let alone for the long haul.

***

This would be the time when I introduce our next set of contenders to the FMK Friday challenge. Instead, I'm going to let these ladies revel in their victories. I now return you to our regularly scheduled Week of Reel Whorror!, already in progress.

.

FMK Friday: Final Girls Fight!

I apologize for my negligence with this feature, but this one's worth the wait. Join me in the latest round of Fuck, Marry Kill!

To play I present you, my readers, with three people. You must decide which person you'd like to bed, which you'd wed and which you want dead. It's not always as simple as it sounds.

The theme of Round 6, The Siblings of Michael Bluth, received a total of eight votes. Though it looks like decent participation, the poll was up for an entire month! I am wondering if folks aren't keen on voting in FMK's featuring men. C'est la vie. In the meantime, let's see which of Michael's siblings is the most beloved:
 
Fuck Lindsay,
Marry Buster (or Gob),
Kill Gob (or Buster)

Taking a closer look at the votes we see:

It's pretty clear where Lindsay stands in voters eyes, but Buster managed to get the upper hand over Gob in death and marriage.

Fuck Lindsay: Shocker, but the attention-starved woman who parades around in a 'SLUT' shirt garnered the most votes for sharing stargazers' sex fantasies. I agree. Self-absorbed bitchiness aside, Lindsay is still a looker. Plus, she's the only one with long locks of hair; can't do much pulling or snatching with the fellas.
Marry Gob or Marry Buster: The majority voted to wed Buster, but I had to give my hand to Gob, making for a tie. Sure, Gob's an utter moron and he'll cost you thousands with his $100 bill magic trick, but there's a neediness to him that's irresistible. Besides, he can entertain me for hours with Franklin.
Kill Buster: As many of you wanted to marry Buster as you did kill him. In the end, Buster got my kill vote bringing him over the edge. He's just too much of a mama's boy to ever make marriage or a one-night stand work. I'm not about to share anyone with Lucille, or Lucille!

***

Welcome to Round 7. This poll should have went up on October 1, but as you may have noticed, I'm a slacker. At any rate, the big doings in October is Halloween. While I work diligently to compile posts for my Week of Reel Whorror, here's you chance to help your favorite final girl lay the competition flat on its ass. I've chosen one final girl from each decade, 70s, 80s and 90s, to duke it out. I would have chosen someone from the 00s, but, and correct me if I'm wrong, there isn't a lady worthy of the title.

Fuck, Marry, Kill

Final Girls Fight!

From left to right
Laurie Strode; In the Halloween series, Laurie is quite a catch despite having a psychotic brother stalking her. She's a looker, but don't stare too long or she'll poke your eye out with a hanger.

Nancy Thompson; Nancy is not only the target of the vicious dream-killer, but she's also a victim of 80s fashion thanks to the timing of the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. Look beyond the frizzy hair and fuzzy sweaters and you'll find a sexy survivalist.

Sidney Prescott; Sidney may not be as well-endowed as her contenders, but they call her series Scream for a reason. She's not a full blown skank, but I have it on good authority she gives it up in the first installment.


Round 7 will run through October 28th. That gives you two weeks to give your final girl the votes she needs to survive.  It's up to you whether your choice comes out on top or gets put six feet under.

Choose wisely.
.

FMK Friday: The Siblings of Michael Bluth

Before the final hours of Friday wane, let's crank up another round of Fuck, Marry Kill!

To play I present you, my readers, with three people. You must decide which person you'd like to bed, which you'd wed and which you want dead. It's not always as simple as it sounds.

The theme of Round 5, Little Women, Big Guns, garnered a total of seven votes. I was disappointed to see one contender got no love, but the masses have spoken. Let's see which petite pistol-packin' mama; Rose McGowan, Zoe Saldana, or Gabrielle Anwar, murdered the competition:

Fuck Rose,
Marry Zoe,
Kill Gabrielle

Taking a closer look at the votes we see:

While there appears to be a split decision, it's apparent one lady didn't stand a chance.

Fuck Rose or Fuck Zoe: Whaddaya know, voters felt Rose was good to go. There wouldn't have been a tie except I chose to bed Zoe instead of Rose. I agree with Alex of Film Forager, Zoe's way hot and worthy of a toss and tumble, but she's got a cold, impersonal vibe.

Marry Rose or Marry Zoe: Most voted to wed Zoe, but Rose is the total package. She's got the rough and tough attitude with a soft, cuddly exterior. Alex is all about snuggling up next to a warm machine gun leg muzzle as long as it keeps him safe from the zombies. Me, I love a good laugh, and Rose has the makings of a great stand-up comic.

Kill Gabrielle: From this point on, we best all sleep with one eye open. I don't think Gabrielle will be none too happy that she didn't win over our affections. I love Burn Notice and Gabrielle rocks as the trigger happy ex-girlfriend,Fiona. Please don't hurt us, Ms. Anwar.

***

Welcome to Round 6. September is right around the corner and with it comes the new Fall TV lineup. I've watched a good bit of the previews, and these upcoming "events" make my head hurt. At least there are some great shows returning. Still, it got me reminiscing about shows taken from us too soon and the great characters we lost. While the new 2010 shows vie for your affections, let's see how the sibling rivalry from one of TV's greatest dysfunctional families plays out!

Fuck, Marry, Kill

The Siblings of Michael Bluth

From left to right
Lindsay Bluth Fünke; Self-proclaimed activist, Lindsay seems to look for love in all the wrong places. Who can blame her? It's tough to be married to a never-nude, analrapist.

George 'Gob' Bluth II; President of the Bluth Company, founder of the Magician's Alliance, part-time magician and ventriloquist; it may sound like Gob has it all. Really, he's just looking to be intimate with someone besides Franklin.

Byron "Buster" Bluth; Buster's a learned scholar, but a bit of a mama's boy. He may seem socially awkward, but he's got proven skills when it comes to wooing the more mature ladies.


Round 6 will run until September 23rd. That gives you four weeks to decide which Bluth is right for you. A tough decision and one that may come down to whose chicken dance you prefer most.

Choose wisely.
.

FMK Friday: Little Women, Big Guns

I really need to work on the timing of this post!. Though it's really, really, late in the day, it's still Friday which means we have time for a new round of Fuck, Marry Kill!

To play I present you, my readers, with three people. You must decide which person you'd like to bed, which you'd wed and which you want dead. It's not always as simple as it sounds.

Round 4's Wives of Mad Men was quite popular with you stargazers, even if not all of the contestants were. I believe ten votes are the most this feature has had! Time to see which hot homemaker; Betty Draper, Joan Harris, or Trudy Campbell, rules the roost:

Fuck Betty,
Marry Joan,
Kill Trudy

Taking a closer look at the votes we see:

Wow! This is the first time the voting exactly matches the individual tallies.

Fuck Betty: By and large, stargazers would love to bounce around the bedroom with Betty Draper until something, or someone, breaks. I'll admit she's a blond bombshell, but among the three, I'd let bitchy Betty bite the bullet.

Marry Joan: Honestly, who wouldn't want to marry Joanie? The fiery redhead helps bring home the bacon, fries it up, and keeps those home fires burning all night if ya know what I'm saying. You'd all have to fight me to nestle between her ivory pillows every night.

Kill Trudy: To all you voters: don't come crying to me when you've realized what a horrible mistake you made by overlooking Trudy's potential! I am the only one who'd love to take little miss priss from atop her pedestal and give her a proper roll in the hay. You're missing out.

***

So begins Round 5. With The Expendables releasing in theaters today, I started thinking about a few actresses who have recently made a stab at action stardom. Despite the fact they weigh less than the weapons they wield, they're nonetheless determined to make a name for themselves as badass chicks! Annies grabs your guns, and prepare to shoot it out!

Fuck, Marry, Kill
Little Women, Big Guns

From top to bottom:
Rose McGowan; In Planet Terror, Rose proves all she needs is a fully loaded strap-on to fuck anyone that gets in her way. Think you can handle the heat she's packin'?

Zoe Saldana; Though I'm still perplexed as to how Zoe wasn't planted on her ass after firing that rocket launcher in The Losers, there's no doubt she's got the attitude to simultaneously hip fire two of them.

Gabrielle Anwar; She might only weight fifty pounds soaking wet, but as Fiona Glenanne on Burn Notice, Gabrielle's fierce and never without her firearm. A night with her is sure to be explosive, even without her trusty c4.


Round 5 will run for two weeks, plenty of time to decide among these up and coming action actresses. Choose wisely.

FMK Friday: The Wives of Mad Men

I dropped the FMK ball last Friday, but now it's time for a new round of Fuck, Marry Kill! Trust me, this new round's pairings were worth waiting the extra week.

To play, I present you my readers, with three people. You must decide which person you'd like to bed, which you'd wed and which you want dead. It's not always as simple as it sounds.

Apparently Round 3's Rising Stars of Community were either not up to snuff, or few people are fans of these fellas. Don't sleep! Despite receiving only five votes, these guys are not to be ignored. Let's see how Danny Pudi, Ken Jeong, and Donald Glover fared:

Fuck Ken,
Marry Donald,
Kill Danny

Taking a closer look at the votes we see:

Fuck Danny & Ken & Donald: Despite Ken winning it all in the individual voting, with my vote all three fellas would be tied for fuckability. It was probably my toughest decision, but I believe Donald's bro rape skills in the bedroom would be too tempting to pass up.

Marry Donald: Even though I'd prefer Donald between the sheets, everyone else wants to marry Mr. Donald Glover. Donald does look sexy sophisticated in his spectacles, but Ken Jeong would have to be the Chuck to my Larry. He's so cute, cuddly and crazy who wouldn't want to fall asleep every night curled up with a little Ken?

Kill Danny: I'm sorry Danny! I think you are super funny and talented, but someone had to take one for the team. Like they say, sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes, well, he eats you. Not sure where I was going with that, but Danny had to die and it will be a sadder world with him gone.

***

Onto Round 4. With Season 4 of Mad Men officially underway what better time to pit the sexy spouses against one another. Why wives and not the more generic ladies, you may ask? Well, Peggy's great, but she's a different class of woman to Joan and Betty. Plus, comparing Peggy to those two would mean I couldn't include Trudy Campbell and who could say no to that adorable face? So, slip on your sharpest rings ladies and let the cat-fight begin!

Fuck, Marry, Kill
The Wives of Mad Men

From left to right:
Betty Draper; Blonde, bitchy and a bit of a booze-hound, but being married to Don Draper is a task no mere housewife could handle. Through it all she still manages to look classy.

Joan Harris; A rep for being a bit of a slut, but she's sly, smart and sassy. Joan's the type of woman you hate to see go, but you love to watch her leave. The doc's lucky to have landed the ultimate ging'.

Trudy Campbell; Trudy's sweet and petite, but I get the feeling Pete doesn't wear the pants in their chic apartment. As lovely as Trudy is, I wouldn't be surprised to find a big harry pair beneath her petticoat.


Round 4 will run for two weeks, I hope that gives everyone ample time to ogle, um, I mean compare, these characters. Choose wisely.

.

FMK Friday: Dissed Community

A little late in the day, but as long as it's Friday we've still got time to for a new round of Fuck, Marry Kill! To play, I present you my readers, with three people. You must decide which person you'd like to bed, which you'd wed and which you want dead. It's not always as simple as it sounds.

Two weeks ago, the three randoms were the women who were so crazy over Tom Cruise that they married him. With nine total votes cast, it's time to see how Nicole Kidman, Mimi Rogers and Katie Holmes fared:

Fuck Nicole,
Marry Mimi,
Kill Katie


Taking a closer look at the votes we see:

Fuck Katie: Despite Nicole winning it all in the individual voting, the consensus is that Katie Holmes is your go-to gal for steaming the sheets. I had to pass on fucking Katie. Instead, I chose to roll around with Mimi. How nice would it be to work yourself into a lather and then collapse into the warm softness of her flesh pillows?

Marry Mimi: Everyone wants to marry Ms. Rogers. I'm sure she'd be a great companion, but considering she's on her third marriage, I feel Katie is truly the marrying kind. You'd have to be a stepfather to "Tom's child," but at least Katie's workload isn't so hectic that you couldn't share the responsibilities equally.

Kill Katie: What has Katie ever done to you?! I think this is just a knee-jerk reaction to the unfortunate press surrounding Cruise's craziness. Given the chance, I'd whack Nicole. Certainly a great actress, but the woman looks like some sort of scrawny banshee. I wouldn't be surprised if attempts to end her life wouldn't end with a pox upon your entire bloodline!

***

Round 3 of FMK is a reflection on this week's Emmy nominations. While I was ecstatic that Glee, Mad Men and Modern Family ruled, I'm ticked one of my favorite shows, Community, was snubbed. All movie fans should adore Community. It's chock full of pop culture references and whip smart dialogue. If you didn't know, now you know. To show them much respect, it's time for you to decide...

Fuck, Marry, Kill
Rising Stars of Community

From left to right:
Danny Pudi, As Abed, he's socially awkward, but the ultimate pop culture junkie. He's so in tune with entertainment he can out-Draper Jon Hamm;
Ken Jeong; One might argue his stars at its pinnacle, but trust me when I say, he's just getting started. He may have the body of a fifth grader, but his comedy is so ferocious they call him el Tigre;
Donald Glover; Troy may be a jock riding the fumes of his high school accomplishments, but Donald is on the way to being an all-star of comedy.

Round 3 will run for two weeks, plenty of time to get to know these up-and-comers. Choose wisely.

.

FMK Friday: Crazy for Cruise

Welcome back to another exciting edition of Fuck, Marry Kill! For those just joining the game, readers are presented with three people and must decide which person they'd like to bed, which they'd wed and which they want dead. It's not always as simple as it sounds.

Last week, our three randoms were the faculty of McKinley High School from the TV show, Glee. Emma Pillsbury, Sue Sylvester & Will Schuester battled for your affections. Out of 10 votes (mine included), the majority chose to:

Fuck Sue,
Marry Emma,
Kill Will


Let's take a closer look at how the choices stacked up:

Fuck Sue: Overwhelmingly, folks would prefer to get buck-wild, freaky-deaky with good 'ol Sue. I fall into this category. The woman may be despicable on so many levels, but her dedication to excellence, coupled with the astounding energy boost her protein shakes provide, would undoubtedly lead to a night of unbridled passion the likes of which would shake the very foundations of whichever sleazy motel you hunker down in.

Marry Emma or Marry Will: Overall, Emma and Will tie for holy matrimony. For me, Will is the marrying type. He's sweet, kind, and in great physical condition. As your spouse, he'd be concerned with satisfying all your needs; emotionally and physically. Sure you'd have to double the size of the bathroom to store his hair care products, but you could lose yourself in those meticulously coiffed locks for days on end.

Kill Emma: Poor, poor Emma got the axe by the majority. Emma is sweet and absolutely adorable. While I'd love the chance to bed or wed the petite redhead; let's be real. With her issues, she'd always be nagging you about cleanliness and, more importantly, there will always be certain...things she just ain't never going to do, no matter how much you beg. She'd have to go.

***

With our first FMK out of the way, let's move on to the next round. In honor of the release of the new film, Knight and Day, we're going crazy for Cruise!

Fuck, Marry, Kill
The Wives of Tom Cruise

From right to left:
Nicole Kidman, Tom's second wife, mother to their two adopted children, and Oscar winner;
Mimi Rogers; Tom's first wife (her second husband), Mensa member, and Golden Space Needle Award winner;
Katie Holmes; Tom's third and current wife, mother of "his" first-born Suri, and MTV Movie Award winner.

This round will run for two weeks, plenty of time to weigh your options carefully. I can't wait to see the results!

.

FMK Friday: The Glee Edition

Hey, hey stargazers! It's Friday and I thought what better way to kick off the weekend than with a new feature. I have to thank this year's new F/X show Archer for reminding me about the game, Fuck, Marry, Kill or F,Marry,Kill to those with oratory sensibilities. For those unfamiliar with the game, people are presented with three random people and must decide which person they'd like to bed, which they'd wed and which they want dead. Simple as that.

A perfect game for the Reel Whore, no? Like so many things, it's far more satisfying when you have group participation so you're all invited! In honor of my TVD, give a warm welcome to our first trio:

Fuck, Marry, Kill
Glee: The McKinley High Faculty

From right to left:
Emma Pillsbury, guidance counselor and obsessive-compulsive;
Sue Sylvester, Splits Magazine's Cheerleading Coach of the Decade;
Will Schuester, Spanish teacher and director of "New Directions" show choir.

I've set up a poll to the right with all of the options (hopefully). The poll's only up until next Thursday, so don't deliberate too long!

.