Cruz Crushin' - Part 1

Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Release: 08.15.2008
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 36 minutes

Full Price ($$$$) <
> Matinee ($$$)


LAMBScore:



Before I begin, I must admit that I never really warmed up to Penélope Cruz until I saw her in Volver. Since then, my appreciation has increased, especially after seeing her portray two very different women in two films in the span of one weekend. Hence, this review is titled Cruz Crushin', Part I. Yeah, Hence.

***

Woody Allen (Match Point) brings to the screen his latest project, which centers around best friends Vicky (Rebecca Hall, The Prestige) and Cristina (Scarlett Johansson, Scoop) as they summer in Barcelona, Spain. Sensible Vicky is there to study for her masters in Catalan identity. Bohemian Cristina tags along, searching for her artistic voice and whatever will excite her in life. That excitement introduces himself as painter Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men) and offers to fly the women to Oviedo where they can wine, dine and make with the sex. Vicky is insulted, Cristina titillated at Juan's sincere offer. Ultimately, the trio take flight and the inclusion of Juan Antonio rattles the ladies' plans, especially when his ex-wife Maria Elena (Penélope Cruz, Volver) and Vicky's fiancé (Chris Messina, Rounders) unexpectedly infringe on their holiday.

If it acts like Woody Allen and sounds like Woody Allen, should I feel guilty that I enjoy it more when it doesn't look like Woody Allen? The dialogue is unmistakably Allen despite his absence from the screen. Hall and Johansson take turns emoting the nervously neurotic inflections of the director. Bardem and Cruz give the words a natural heat; the two ooze sexuality even though reading from Allen's script. I have to mention Patricia Clarkson (Married Life), who appears briefly as Judy, an old family friend who encourages the ladies to enjoy all Barcelona has to offer.

Allen also wisely chooses to focus on the beautiful landscapes and architecture of Barcelona. The cinematography is warm and inviting, probably the best tourist commercial the City could hope to have. Thoughtful discussions of love, loyalty and human nature fit appropriately against the romantic backdrop.

However, the narration does not seem to fit, if you ask some people. I quickly grew accustomed to the omnipotent narrator filling in the story gaps, but wasn't quite sold on the 60's era educational inflection. My wife, on the other hand, had no qualms with it. To each their own, I say. The narration is only a small element to this easily approachable film.

Dirty Undies
It'd be stiff competition for sexiest performance between Vicky, Cristina, Juan Antonio and Maria Elena (no pun intended). Bardem's eyes express an intense passion and just watching him swagger into a scene will make one swoon. Cruz may play a crazy lady, but her frank and honest attitude shows even as she sits spread-legged or tosses her lion's mane of jet black hair about.

I can't help but wonder if Allen isn't piecemeal pimping Ms. Johansson to audiences. She's been oiled up bareback (Match Point), lifted wet and shimmering from the pool (Scoop), and here she not only has rather liberal sexual relations with her Spanish friends, but nearly exposes her ample breasteses to the world. I figure at this rate she'll be fully nude by their fifth collaboration. If it's for our benefit, great. If it's for his benefit, Soon-Yi best keep an eye out!

The Money Shot
Vicky Cristina Barcelona is exactly that, a film about two women lost in the alluring fantasy of a beautiful City - even if only for a short time. Like a romantic evening, it's full of tasty treats and warm lighting; there's great conversation and some anxiety; and there's a little sexual exploration before reality returns.

If Life Gives You Lemons, I Say F*ck Lemons and Bail.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Release: 04/18/2008
Rated R
1 hour, 52 minutes

Full Price ($$$$)




Peter Bretter (Jason Segel, Knocked Up) has a comfortable life in Los Angeles. He composes music for the television drama Crime Scene and dates the star of the show, Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell, Pulse). When Sarah returns home and surprises Peter by announcing the end of their five-year relationship, he collapses in heap of sorrow and naked-man flesh. On the advice of his step-brother, he goes on vacation to Hawaii where he just happens to run into Sarah and her new man, English pop sensation Aldous Snow (Russell Brand). Thanks to the charity of the hotel concierge, Rachel (Mila Kunis, American Psycho 2), and the other hotel staff, Peter pulls himself out of his rut and begins to enjoy a new outlook on life.

If you assumed this to be a Judd Apatow production in the vein of 40 Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up and not Anchorman or The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, you'd be correct. As in the former films, Apatow & Company take their popular brand of crude humor and mingle it with a tangible drama of relationships. I still proclaim 40 Year-Old Virgin as the best of the lot while each new incarnation shifts the perfect balance of laughs and love a little farther to the dramatic side. Still, the balance isn't too far to the right and FSM had me laughing well into the credits.

Let's be honest; this is my kind of movie: a crude comedy with beautiful women and a hilarious cast. The great supporting cast includes Bill Hader (Hot Rod), Jonah Hill (Superbad), Jack McBrayer (30 Rock) and Paul Rudd (Reno 911!: Miami). Ahh, Paul Rudd, who doesn't love you? The film even has a nice cameo that I won't spoil for you. I will say I was excited to see Branscombe Richmond (The Scorpion King), but disappointed he had barely a minute of screen time. FSM has already lit up my Confessions radar for memorable characters, lines and scenes. It also features some original songs with hilarious lyrics including Inside Me and Dracula’s Lament. FSM gives much needed big-screen cred to Bell and Kunis, whose only previous film endeavors I have seen (mentioned above) were not their shining moments. I especially love that this film bashes one of those stinkers, although obscurely.

Dirty Undies
I have mad, nasty love for Kristen Bell, so I brought my drool bib. After seeing FSM, I wish I had brought a spare because, DAMN, if Mila Kunis wasn’t equally tent-pitching. Sure, she was cute on That 70's Show, but her radiant face and wavy, brown locks will inspire a whole new level of infatuation on equal footing with the lovely Bell. Jason Segel owes the casting director big!!! First-born-son big.

If Apatow's star continues to rise I foresee his ultimate masterpiece. In the future, his number-one film will be called Cock. And that's all it will be for 90 minutes: a flaccid penis. It will win eight Oscars, including best screenplay. Whether Segel will win the starring role in Cock is uncertain, but FSM gave him some good practice.

The Money Shot
I think the major divide between FSM and Knocked Up in comparison to 40 Year-Old Virgin stems from the caliber of their stars’ performances. Segel and Rogen are no Carell, stargazers. But it doesn’t really matter because the material is funny enough that literate monkeys could make this a success.

The Glamorous. The Flossy-flossy.

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Release: 03/07/2008
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 32 minutes

Full Price ($$$$) <> Matinee ($$$)

Our story begins on the eve of World War II. After being discharged from her services as a governess, Miss Guinevere Pettigrew, portrayed by Frances McDormand (Friends with Money), finds herself once again at a London unemployment office. Pleading and desperate for work, she snatches the card of a potential employer. The card leads her to the flat of Delysia Lafosse, played by Amy Adams (Serving Sara). From the moment she arrives, Miss Pettigrew is sucked into the sordid social circle of the aspiring actress-singer. The hungry and penniless Pettigrew is swept into a glamorous world of delicacies and extravagance as fantasy and reality collide.

Frumpy. Dowdy. Haggard. Unkempt. All are excellent words to describe the initial impression of Miss Pettigrew. However, McDormand breathes a combination of determination, ingenuity and compassion that shines through the muck and the mire. Good thing for her because Amy Adams sparkles. Adams commands the screen as the easily panicked but outwardly cool Delysia. She’s a saucy minx who dangles her affections amid three gentleman callers who bear gifts of love, fortune, and celebrity. The three suitors don’t really matter; it’s the apparent contrasts between the women that fuel this engaging affair.

The scenes pop with the décor and fashion of the period. The story moves quickly thanks to the snappy dialogue and the actresses’ skills. Visually, the camera is sluggish in comparison to the sizzle of the surroundings; a shame given the fiery performances. I got the sense the director was trying to capture the simpler feel of films from that era, but since I know nothing about said films, I cannot say if he accomplished this goal.

Dirty Undies
Oooooohhh, so close! There’s a very, very nice bathtub scene that reminds me of the Birth of Venus painting. The scene reveals a lot of Adams’ curves and for the briefest of moments I thought we’d get a glimpse of those redwoods, but it was not to be. However, costar Tom Payne does give us an eyeful. The only other noteworthy moments are Adams’ randy conversations and sensual mannerisms.

Folks may recognize actress Shirley Henderson playing Delysia’s friend, Edythe. You may be more familiar with her as Moaning Myrtle in the Harry Potter series.

The Money Shot
Certainly not the best made or most clever film I have ever seen but one that’s worth watching on the merits of its stars. I do know that despite being predictable, it was a delight being along for the ride.

P.S. I am beginning to wonder if my medication is thinning out the manliness in me because this makes the third romantic comedy in as many months that I have enjoyed.