Trailer Trash: The January-09 Gang Bang

As our must-see TV returns and wallets are sealed tight in the post-holiday days, many folks will not be heading out to the theaters. It's a good thing since most of the films releasing in January stink like a bag of month-old trash.

As usual, I will be using the list of new releases at IMDB. Not usual, I am streamlining my opinions of the films greatly. The end product may be rough, but how smoothly can a gang bang be, really?

Exercise the Right To Cinematic Celibacy.

Bride Wars (01/09) What's scarier than yet another wedding slapstick? Having to look at Kate Hudson's frozen cat-eye expression for an entire film.

My Bloody Valentine 3-D (01/16) Trailers hype the lame-o 3-D effects way more than the Valentine's Day gimmick. Why wouldn't they open this horror flick in February on Friday the 13th..oh, that's right.

Notorious (01/16) You can only push so many posthumous greatest-hits albums before you need a new gimmick to keep sales going. No-no-no-not gonna see it!

Hotel for Dogs (01/16) Four kids and a too-old-to-be-a-teen Kyla Pratt round up hundreds of stray dogs and house them in an abandoned hotel. The SPCA and Sarah McLachlan can't be happy about this.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop (01/16) It's January's staple Happy Madison production, only it's rated PG with Kevin James. Are we sure this is a Happy Madison film?!

The Uninvited (01/30) That weirdo Elizabeth Banks killed our mom and we're next! Why won't you believe me? Yeah honey, good luck with that.

It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Not Easily Broken (01/09) Actual official website quote: "Not Easily Broken is a powerful movie!" - Tyler Perry. Not powerful enough to stop him from making movies.

Defiance (01/16) WWII films based on true events are like cockroaches; one scuttles out and more are sure to linger. Defiance's acting and action make it look better than the other one (Valkyrie).

Inkheart (01/23) Rings, Potter, Narnia, Spiderwick, hmmm...How about adapting a book series about books?! They've kept Walden Media away so success has a slim chance.

New in Town (01/30) Great supporting cast makes Renée 'Lemonface' Zellweger's Sandra Bullock-styled rom-com look surprisingly tolerable.

Moist With Antici...Pation!

The Unborn (01/09) Gary Oldman-certified creepy-child flick should be scary fun. At least it can't be worse than Godsend.


Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (01/23) The subtitle says it all: Rhona Mitra + Tight Outfits = Rise of the Lycans!

Taken (01/30) Liam Neeson's back, baby! He's out to prove all ass-kicking spies don't need to be spry Bourne-Bond types. Look's like he'll make his point.


***

All that said and done, we all know where I'll be this weekend; watching Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino! I think you should, too.

Who's That Lady? - It's Jenifer Lewis!

It's been nearly five months since the second installment of my series Who's That Lady?. Remember this was inspired by Blog Cabins post Familiar Faces - Unknown Names where he catalogs the careers of That Guys. Here we spin the gender and focus on those women we love when we spot them, even if we have never stopped to ask:

Who's That Lady?
Jenifer Lewis

Born in Kinloch, Missouri, Jenifer Lewis began her career on Broadway in the musical Eubie, followed by Dreamgirls. She was also a back-up singer for Bette Midler, which led her into television and her array of talent launched her into films. She's credited with over eighty projects over at IMDB. She is usually cast as a mother, aunt or grandmother, but her serious and assertive demeanor always make her supporting performances memorable.

I chose Ms. Lewis for two reasons. She was the rare sparkling glimmer in Meet the Browns and she will hopefully brighten this week's new release Not Easily Broken as Taraji P. Henson's...mother!


3 Unforgettable Roles
Meet the Browns - Hell to the no! I can't believe what I'm about to say. For such a bad film, it's worth the rental to see Ms. Lewis portray outspoken Vera Brown. Her scenes aren't huge but she's larger than life whenever the camera lens puts her into focus.

TV: A Different World - During the final throes of the show, Jenifer played the role of Dean Dorothy Dandridge Davenport on eight different occasions. I don't recall much more than that. I'm reaching way back just to dig up memories of that show.

Mystery Men - I wanted to find one film where she wasn't cast as a mother. Jenifer was still a mother, but she was better known as Lucille, wife of the Shoveller, a.k.a. William H. Macy. Even as a wife, she cast a motherly disapproval on her husband's crime-fighting passions.

Honorable Mentions: Ms. Lewis has mothered Anthony Curtis (Larenz Tate) of Dead Presidents, Julia Biggs (Whitney Houston) of The Preacher's Wife and Tina Turner (Angela Bassett) in What's Love Got to Do with It. That last performance I find astounding considering she is not even two years older than Angela!

Saw it, but even I don't remember her in it!
At eighty films and counting, Jenifer Lewis has been in more than a few that I don't recall her role. Maybe it was a bit part or maybe I wasn't mature enough to appreciate it. Either way, these are a few of her films I'd watch again, if only to see her performance.

Films: Poetic Justice, Meteor Man, Girl 6, Panther, TV: The Temptations, TV: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

When the role calls for Mother, Dean, Aunt, Judge, Mama or any strict, no-nonsense woman others must always address by Mrs., you need look no further than Jenifer Lewis. If you want to know more about her career and accolades, be sure to check out her IMDB and Wikipedia pages.

I'm not really in the mood for an inspirational melodrama so I won't be first in line for Not Easily Broken, though I'll catch it down the line to see what kind of mother she turns out to be this time.

Double Team'd: Tyler Perry Style

It's sad to admit this, but I can't recall the last time I wrote an actual movie review! With all the goings and the comings, with the hospitals and the holidays, the sands of the hourglass were like the days of my life. Like how I squeezed in a soap opera reference? It's more than appropriate, given this double review of Tyler Perry's 2008 melodramas Meet the Browns and The Family That Preys. I know Invisible Woman has been waiting to hear this for a long, long time.


Meet the Browns

Release: 03.21.08
DVD Release: 07.01.08
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 40 minutes


Second-Run Seats ($$) <
> Group Rental ($)



Brenda Brown (Angela Bassett, Akeelah and the Bee) is a young single mother of three children in Chicago who struggles to make ends meet. Finances are strained further when she loses her job. She receives a letter explaining her estranged father has passed away along with three bus tickets to Georgia. The Chicago Browns head down South and meet up with her outrageous Georgia Brown kin. Oh yeah, a basketball scout named Harry (Rick Fox, He Got Game) gets shoehorned into the story, too.

I'd really love to know why Angela Bassett took this role. She does a phenomenal job, which is painfully obvious as the rest of the cast try and keep up. Some characters like Leroy Brown (David Mann) are strictly comic relief. Vera (Jenifer Lewis, Dead Presidents) shows out, and is the singlemost reason to watch this film.

Then there's Cheryl (Sofia Vergara, Four Brothers), the loud Latina stereotype, and Michael (Lance Gross), the 'If I can't ball, I'll sling dope' brother among others. My wife says we can forgive Rick Fox because he's just so damned delectable. With all the hype around his films, Tyler Perry needs to to slow down and churn out a higher quality script with better developed and less grating characters.

The Dirty Undies
My wife is right, Mr. Fox is delectable. My choice would be Ms. Vergara though her natural heat may be too much for my tastebuds! It's hard to go into a Tyler Perry film and not find beautiful people. Ms. Bassett has on some heavy makeup, but that's probably to hide twenty of her fifty regal years in order to pass for the role. There's some drugs and minor mention of sexual depravity, but nothing you wouldn't see in an after-school special.

The Money Shot
Tyler Perry needs to slow down and hone his craft. Learn to frame your shots better. Work out your audio issues. Most importantly, stop showing up in your damn films! This advice will probably go unheeded and why not? The films still make serious jink, even when they're as bad as this.


The Family That Preys

Release: 09.12.08
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 51 minutes


Matinee ($$$)





In a small Georgia town, Alice Pratt (Alfre Woodard, Down in the Delta) runs a small diner and lives a happy, though modest, life. Her two daughters Andrea (Sanaa Lathan, Something New) and Pam (Taraji P. Henson, Hustle & Flow) are like night and day. Pam has stayed to help momma with the business while Andrea is an executive for a construction firm owned by Alice's good friend, Charlotte Cartwright (Kathy Bates, The Waterboy). While the mothers travel cross-country, Andrea and Charlotte's son, William (Cole Hauser, The Cave), conspire to gain control of the company.

Not knocking other actors, but Family boasts the most accomplished cast to grace a Tyler Perry film. Woodard and Bates turn in strong performances that enhance the humor and sadness of the story. My girl Sanaa Lathan plays one of the most callous characters of her career. Not all the performances are stellar, cough Tyler Perry cough, but overall it's pretty compelling.

Don't get me wrong, the melodrama is thick like gumbo. I recall a scene where William's wife has collapsed on the porch of the mansion all woe-is-me after discovering her husband's dubious ways. Overall, I credit Family for showing growth in Tyler Perry, as he seems to give more attention to the story more so than he has with his play-to-film conversions.

Dirty Undies
I'd pretty much sworn off Perry films after Daddy's Little Girls, but I must thank my infatuation with the lovely Sanaa Lathan for luring me into Family. Even though she's so cold-hearted Io almost didn't find her attractive, Lathan gives me one of the most memorable scenes in all of 2008 - you have to watch it to see. Mustache-twirling double-cross plots of soap opera proportions litter the story along with a few half-naked men, perfect for the housewives.

The Money Shot
Just when I thought it was safe to wash my hands of the whole Tyler Perry mega-business, he goes and reins in my interest. Maybe he's a shrewder entrepreneur than he's given credit. The Family That Preys is a step in the right direction, but somehow I think this film will be the exception more so than the rule.

My 09 for '09

Happy New Year Stargazers! I hope everyone had a grand time ringing in 2009. I had a laid back evening watching the semi-bland countdowns. But my wife was with me to celebrate and she managed to stay up until nearly 1am! As we watched 2008 slip away, we started thinking about all the great things 2009 holds. Of course, for me this primarily means movies, but given that I'm housebound a la T.I., a few television shows have made it onto my list. Enough blathering. Here, in no particular order, are nine movies/shows to see in 2009.


1. Gran Torino - Yes, this Clint Eastwood film released back in December '08. While many of you are fortunate to live in a big city that gets the buzz films, I live in NC where this won't appear on screen until, coincidentally, the ninth of this month. I love all things Clint. The man is a master of movies and I can't wait to watch him chew up the scenery.


2. Battlestar Galactica Season 4.5 - I've been perpetually behind in this series, and am only now starting Season 4.0. Still, questions must be answered as the series comes to a close. I demand satisfaction!

3. Friday the 13th - Ch ch ch! Ah ah ah! Yes, the remake/reboot/whatchamacallit tale of the most unrelenting slasher, Jason Voorhees, opens in a little over a month. It could be double trouble crap-on-a-stick, but I can guarantee it will surpass Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday. *shudder*

4. The Dollhouse - Joss Whedon's return to television...and for some reason, the FOX Network. The idea is reminiscent of Jay Faerber's Gemini comic and Christian Slater's deceased series My Own Worst Enemy, but this has Whedon's writing going for it, and more importantly, the vastly under-appreciated Eliza Dushku.


5. Watchmen - All I gotta say is this better open in 2009 or FOX will have some serious 'splainin to do! It's bad enough that Warner Bros. blew a wad on a property they didn't own, but that doesn't mean FOX should deny us a yummy Carla Gugino or Patrick Wilson in tight spandex.

6. Boondocks Season 3 - The wife and I wish Aaron MacGruder godspeed in getting the next season onto Cartoon Network this year. Sure it takes a while to get the animation up to snuff, but in the time of Obama and Lil Wayne, I want to know exactly what Huey, Riley and Grampa have to say!

7. Star Trek - Yet another film that has folks wondering is it a prequel, a sequel or a reimagining? No matter, I'm feeling good vibrations from this and not just because I like the casting of Chris Pine as Kirk, Anton Yelchin as Chekov and John Cho as Sulu. This also will be a good chance for Zachary Quinto to jump from that sinking ship Heroes.

8. The Wolf Man - I'm a sucker for a good werewolf film and this fits the bill. The hot Brit Emily Blunt stars alongside the stellar Anthony Hopkins and Benecio Del Toro. That not enough? Here's a picture worth a thousand words:


9. Psych Season 3.5 - This show is fresh to death! Even more so if your formative years were the late eighties and early nineties. Shawn and Gus, James Roday and Dulé Hill, entertain me week after week on USA. If you haven't checked the show about the fake-psychic detective, there's no time like '09.


Scratching your heads for why I skipped so many obvious films? You may ask where's Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince? Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen? The Surrogates? Terminator Salvation? Inglourious Basterds? Bride Wars?

I have my reasons for choosing these nine, but it doesn't mean I'm not foaming at the mouth for those others. Well, except for Bride Wars. It'd be just plain silly to drool over that dungheap!

MMM: Tonight, You're A Star...

It's 2009 and the party continues! At least I'd like to think it does. I rang in the new year with my favorite artist Prince last week, and I just can't get enough. That's why this week the mood music features the Artist once again.

This time 'round, we move forward almost a decade into his career since his release of 1999 to another great album, Diamonds and Pearls. There are many fabulous songs from D&P, but I decided to keep the party mood going with the wild and sexy Gett Off. Provocative lyrics and a provocative video to kick the week off right:

Prince - Gett Off

Prince - New Music - More Music Videos

And I'm the Big Dipper!


I've been chastised by some for not getting out more content this past few weeks.. My plan is to send up a special post later today and tomorrow the Reel Whore will return with actual movie reviews! That should be a treat since I have a serious 2008 backlog to wrap up before beginning my Best of 2008 countdown! Keep your fingers crossed that all goes well.

MMM: Thank U 4 A Funky Time

I tell you, between the holidays and my recovery, I can't seem to take proper care of the site. With the new year fast approaching, it's time to declare those resolutions and maintaining my website will be in there...somewhere, I promise.

In the meantime, it's time to start the week off with a kick-ass groove. Those who know me, know this choice is a no-brainer even if it is a bit cliché. It goes without saying he is my favorite artist. He's been putting out CDs for nearly as long as I've been breathing and is still going strong with a new album nearly every year.

This selection may be obvious, but since we're ringing in the new 2009, why not remember what it's like to party like it's 1999? Prince had the right idea twenty-six years ago and though we've moved beyond the Judgement Day-millennium paranoia, I think the world's still screwy enough that the sentiment holds strong.

I grabbed this from the MTV website for it's high quality, though the lame commercial preceding it cannot be helped. Persevere through it and then rock out with the man and his awesome purple jacket.

Prince - 1999

Prince - New Music - More Music Videos

Got any 2009 resolutions you want to share?

MMM: Look Frank. It's a Toaster!

Hey Stargazers! Sorry but my recovery has me a bit out of whack with my timing. Better late than never I say. This week's mood music is an uplifting song that I cannot wait to hear when I sit down to enjoy my cache of holiday favorites.

This particular tune is sung by the cast at the end of the film Scrooged. As an added holiday bonus, I thought I'd present this nice little promo to persuade you to give this flick a look-see if you never have before:

Though this week's music selection is performed by the cast of Scrooged, the soundtrack version was a duet performed by Annie Lennox and Al Green. I know that's a bit of an oddball collabo, but it works. The video posted below, however, doesn't work as well...it looks like a sort of epileptic barrage of snowflakes, movie clips and Christmas cheer. What do you want? It was the 80's. Never the less, I hope you enjoy...

Put a Little Love in Your Heart

Wow, doesn't that just ooze the Eighties?!

Happy Holidays!