Monday, July 27, 2009

MMM: The Cheatin' Spoon!

Tonight may herald my return to bachelorhood. You see, my wife has left me. She's on the road to stay with her best friend. I know what you're thinking, that she's fed up with my whorish ways, but quite the contrary, this is all her.

Her other man is in town...well to be more exact, her other man is in her friend's town. Tonight at Chrysler Hall in Norfolk, Virginia, Maxwell will be performing live. The wifey was quite upset that he'd been so absent-minded as to not schedule an NC stop originally, but assumed it was a mistake by his staff. He's since corrected that mistake with an NC stop next week, but since she already had tickets it was the perfect opportunity for a little one-on-one time for them.

For those of you unfamiliar with Maxwell (shame on you!), he's a sensual and studly R&B singer who came on the scene back in 1996. His first album, Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite, was followed by Embrya in 1998 and Now in 2001. Shortly thereafter, he vanished. Rumors flew as to his whereabouts, sexuality and mental state. "Lies, all lies" as my wife would repeatedly say. After having gone ghost for nearly eight years, last fall rumors of his return began to take root. As of July 7 his newest album, BLACKsummer's Night, was officially in stores and women everywhere rejoiced.

It won't be long before you'll be hearing more than your share of his newest single, Pretty Wings, but let's rewind it back to when this cat first hit the scene. Here's his second and most popular single from Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite. I'm sure this will put more than a few of you in a mood despite having to sit through a lame advertisement.

Maxwell - Ascension (Don't Ever Wonder)


Maxwell - Ascension (Don't Ever Wonder) (Official Music Video) - The funniest videos are a click away


My wife claims she'll be back home by tomorrow evening. I don't see why she wouldn't, at the very least she'll need to pack more than an overnight bag if she plans to join him on tour.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Friday, July 24, 2009

Double Team'd: The Rockwell Films

More and more frequently it seems we find actors in multiple movies releasing within mere weeks of one another. By far the prize for the most contrast between said films goes to Sam Rockwell who plays a lonely astronaut in an enthralling indie and a Special Forces guinea pig in an eye-straining 3D kid's film. What better time for Sam Rockwell to get Double Team'd?


Moon

Release: 06.12.09
Rated R
1 hour, 37 minutes

Full Price


Astronaut Sam Bell (Sam Rockwell, Heist) lives on the moon under a three year contract to harvest fuel for Earth. With only a couple of weeks left on his contract, Sam talks excitedly of his return trip with the lunar station's artificially-intelligent computer GERTY (Kevin Spacey, American Beauty). However, Sam is growing more easily distracted which leads to an accident. After he awakens an irritated and impatient Sam sneaks out of the station against GERTY's instructions only to find a wounded Sam Bell!

Watching Moon, it's important to remember it's NOT a location shoot. The seemingly natural quality of the film makes it easy to imagine director Duncan Jones, Rockwell, and crew hopping a shuttle flight to get it in the can. Though in color, the monochromatic hues of the station and the lunar landscape are reminiscent of the original Twilight Zone episodes. As with those episodes, it wasn't the scenery that bedazzled audiences, it was the resolution of the main character's dilemma.

This is equally true in Moon as we watch a meditative, introspective Sam Bell butt heads with an angry, demanding Sam Bell. The two emotionally disparate Bells are portrayed excellently by Rockwell. Thanks to the accident and sickness, physical differences between the Bells are apparent and distinguished further by Rockwell's mannerisms. Arguing with yourself takes on a whole new meaning in Moon and Jones couldn't have been more fortunate to have Rockwell doing the shouting.

Dirty Undies
When words aren't enough the Bells resort to fists, leaving one Bell in bruised and bloody shape. Combined with the sickness and the accident's remnants, it can be hard to look at one Bell. With three years of pent-up affection, Bell also finds himself having naughty dreams of he and his wife. Unfortunately like all great dreams, they end before it really gets steamy.

The Money Shot
Moon appears quiet and reserved, but is erupting with emotion. The power of hope can inspire great change or the ability to overcome the worst, even overwhelming solitude. The only person truly capable of undermining that hope is ourselves.


G-Force

Release: 07.24.09
Rated PG
1 hour, 29 minutes

A Netflix Night



Though not officially an agent of the FBI, Darwin (Sam Rockwell, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) has been specially trained in espionage by Ben (Zach Galifianakis, TV: Tru Calling). Darwin and his team infiltrate the home of Saber (Bill Nighy, Flushed Away) to locate intel on Project Clusterstorm in hopes of impressing FBI Agent Kip Killian (Will Arnett, Horton Hears a Who!). You'd think Killian would be impressed with the fact that they're a group of talking, combat-trained guinea pigs, but he instead chooses to shut the group down. Darwin, Juarez (Penélope Cruz, Sahara), and Blaster (Tracy Morgan, TV: 30 Rock) escape capture and race against the clock to prevent Saber from implementing his diabolical plan.

Having seen only My Bloody Valentine in Real 3D, I was curious to see if G-Force would squash my disdain for the lackluster technology. Sadly, it still sucks just as bad in kids' movies. I listened to kids oooh and ahhh as the Real 3D and Disney Digital 3D logos seemingly hovered before our eyes (granted, it was very cool). Once G-Force began, however, the coos of approval quickly died. Until they can produce 3D images that remain clear while in motion, studios need to stop shoving this crap down our throats.

Kudos to the voice casting. Each character has a distinct voice making the personality differences among the rodents easy to follow. The award for best work goes to nasally Speckles the mole, voiced by Nicholas Cage (Ghost Rider), although Steve Buscemi's (Monster's Inc.) Bucky overshadows all others thanks to his hyperactive, laugh-inducing shtick.

Project Clusterstorm turns ordinary household appliances into robot killing machines, which would have been interesting if I hadn't already been annoyed by this premise in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. The reheated storyline isn't as much of a problem as the poor buildup and execution of the climax. Maybe story structure shouldn't matter in a kid flick, but with six writers penning G-Force, you'd expect at least coherent, passable storytelling. When they do try to wedge in a moral of positivity between the farting and destruction, it is obviously forced.

Dirty Undies
It's a Bruckheimer production so enter expecting lots of destruction and plenty of explosions...then add ten percent to your expectation. I love mind-numbing action as much as the next guy or action flick chick, but the mish-mash of 3D effects, CGI guinea pigs, and blurry action might have destroyed a few of my brain cells.

The Money Shot
G-Force disappoints even without the added help of the atrocious and unnecessary 3D. A strong first act full of mild humor and exciting action degrades into lame jokes and destruction. G-Force promises the threat of a Clusterstorm, and what it delivers is definitely cluster@%$ed.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Coraline? More Like BOREaline!

Coraline


Release: 02.06.09
DVD Release: 07.21.09
Rated PG
1 hour, 40 minutes


Second Run Seats



Coraline Jones (Dakota Fanning, I Am Sam) is the new kid on the block, or more appropriately, the only kid at the apartments where she moves with her parents. As Mother (Teri Hatcher, Tomorrow Never Dies) and Father (John Hodgman, Baby Mama) type away at their garden catalog, Coraline searches for excitement and uncovers a small locked door. In the wee hours of the morning, Coraline discovers the door opens to a magical world where she meets fun and interesting versions of the people she knows. To make this world her reality, all Coraline need do is trade in her eyes for buttons like those her Other Mother has.

Writer-director Henry Selick (Monkeybone) turns Neil Gaiman's book into a warm and inviting spectacle. I didn't have the pleasure of seeing it in 3-D, and I can't help but wonder how more impressive the peculiar antics and acrobatics of Coraline's neighbors Mr. Bobinsky (Ian McShane, Kung Fu Panda), Miss Forcible (Dawn French, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban) and Miss Spink (Jennifer Saunders, Shrek 2) would have been. Still, Selick makes the colors pop and the screen literally blossoms with creativity.

Sadly, the script pales in comparison. Coraline's real world is dull and uninteresting. Mother and Father are inconvenienced by her presence. Her only companion is Wybie (Robert Bailey, Jr., The Happening), the grandson of the tenant house's landlord. Sadly,Wybie's Cat is far more interesting, and not only because he's voiced by Keith David (TV: Gargoyles) in the Other World.

In the Other World, Coraline quickly becomes a nuisance to Other Mother and the Other residents. Even when Coraline must uncover the truth behind Other Mother, the resolution is tedious and unclear. Key plot points which should have been amply foreshadowed in the previous acts for the sake of its kid-centric target audience are rushed into the third act.

Dirty Undies
You'd think an animated PG kid's film wouldn't have any unmentionables, but Coraline is rife with adult fare; yea for me, boo for the chits. At one point, the elderly Miss Spink whips out her jugs for all to behold. Granted, the nipples are covered, but little else is left to the imagination. On the darker side, the Other Wybie has his face stitched into a permanent smile to please Other Mother, which is just creepy for a viewer of any age. Danger and death abound so parents, consider yourself duly warned.

The Money Shot
Coraline is astounding to behold yet surprisingly arduous to sit through. The vibrant colors of the DVD advertisements snap and pop on my HDTV; I am tempted to watch it again. But like Coraline, I'm wise to things that look too good to be true.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Monday, July 20, 2009

MMM: New Tricks for this Old Dog

It's Monday morning and you know what that means! Time to set this week's mood with a little music. Usually I pull a song from my bag of artists, but this time I'm trying something different.

In a few moments, I'll be buying tickets for this weekend's She & Him concert. Mmm, Zooey goodness. Um anywho, I noticed the band Wye Oak is listed as an opening act to M. Ward and Z. Deschanel. Since I've previously posted about She & Him, I thought why not chose a song from their opening act.

Until finding this video, I'd never heard of Wye Oak nor had I heard their sound. Have any of you stargazers seen their act? What was your opinion? After this Sunday, I'll be quite familiar with them and have a better handle on how I feel about their music, but I'm just curious to know who out there's been in the know long before me.

Here's a little vid of Jenn and Andy at SXSW singing in the back seat of a Yaris. Yep, a Toyota Yaris.

Wye Oak - I Don't Feel Young


To my local readers, if you like what you heard, you should swing over to the Cat's Cradle and get your tickets!

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Counting Down the Zeroes: Run! Rabbit! Run!

This post is part of COUNTING DOWN THE ZEROES, brought to you by IBETOLIS of FILM FOR THE SOUL.


*****************


House of 1000 Corpses

Release: 04.11.03
DVD Release: 08.12.03
Rated R
1 hours, 29 minutes


Matinee



I have to go on record as saying House of 1000 Corpses is perhaps one of the best and one of the worst horror films I have ever seen. Approximately three-fourths of it is edgy and phenomenal in its delivery; the remaining just utter filth and a waste of good celluloid. Then again, the horror genre has a wealth of depraved avenues one can traverse; I just prefer some concepts more than others.

The debut picture from musician turned writer-director Rob Zombie opens on All Hallow's Eve with four college kids traveling along the back roads of Texas (has a familiar ring to it, right?). Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig, Jackie Brown) runs the roadside Gasoline, Fried Chicken, and Horror Museum where the kids stop to stock up for the last leg of their voyage home. The museum tour chronicles notorious mass murderers, including the local legend, Dr. Satan, which sparks the kids’ need to drive out to the fabled killer's remote stomping grounds in the cold, rainy dead of night. One hitchhiker named Baby (Sheri Moon) and one flat tire later, the kids end up at the home of the Firefly family. After partaking in the Firefly Halloween celebration and getting the car repaired, their fun really begins.

To read the full post, head over to Film for the Soul...



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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Jizt! Paul Blart: Mall Cop

In this fast-paced world of blogging, tweeting and fly-by-night film voyeurism, sometimes one doesn't have the time to give a film proper treatment. More importantly, others do not always have the time to read it. Sometimes you just have to take it around back and squeeze one out in three quick strokes. Think of The Jizt as the wham, bam, thank you ma'am of reviews.


Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Release: 01.16.09
DVD Release: 05.19.09

Rated PG
1 hour, 31 minutes

Group Rental



Cast: Kevin James (I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry), Keir O'Donnell (The Break-Up) Jayma Mays (Smiley Face)


The Build-up:
Mall Cop spins the Die Hard premise so that Reggie Vel Johnson, not Bruce Willis, is trapped with terrorists, and he's going to need a whole lot of Twinkies to stave off the villains AND his hypoglycemia!

The Blurt-out: When is Anna Faris going to let Jayma Mays share a little more of her adorably-cute-and-funny-girl spotlight?

The Jizt: Had Paul Blart been a Twinkie-eating Reggie Vel Johnson, I might not have forgotten seeing the film by the end of the credits.



...I'll go get you a towel.

Large Association of Movie Blogs

Monday, July 13, 2009

MMM: Best Things in Life are Free

I thought you stargazers would enjoy a little local flavor for this Monday Mood Music. On Saturday I went to Raleigh Downtown Live, a free bi-weekly concert series. The wife and I hadn't planned on sweltering in the summer heat to watch all the bands being showcased. In fact, we came for a specific group I had only just recently heard on the local radio station WKNC.

The trip Downtown was worth it. Durham group The Beast had the crowd jumping with their jazz-hip hop groove. The only bad thing was they were on stage for less than an hour. Still, I got pumped, met the lead singer Pierce Freelon, and picked up their first EP.

Their second EP, The Catalyst, is available for FREE at thebeastmusic.com. I highly encourage everyone to give them a listen. The Beast would appreciate it if you made a donation to the Durham Arts Council instead of paying for their latest EP.

If you are looking to hear the next big thing, look no further than The Beast. Here's the group with Nnenna Freelon recording Once Again for their Free Catalyst EP:

The Beast featuring Nnenna Freelon
Once Again



Like it? Love it? Let people know.

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