Friday, March 14, 2008

And the Next Box Office #1 will be….

I’m unsure how many of you stargazers caught The Idol results show Wednesday. Jim Carrey attended the broadcast. Carrey was wearing a pseudo-elephant outfit complete with trunk and ears. I felt sorry for the folks sitting behind that huge headpiece! Fox's shameless cross-promotion did get me to thinking, how would The Idol judges critique the new animated feature Horton Hears a Who!? I wonder… (strokes his beard in contemplation)

Horton Hears a Who!

Release: 03/14/2008
Rated G
1 hour, 28 minutes

Full Price ($$$$)

Hello America. If you’re just tuning in, our next feature is expected to be a box-office juggernaut, and not just because of its massive main character. I am, of course, referring to Fox’s new animated sensation based on the popular Dr. Seuss book of the same name. Everyone give it up for Horton Hears a Who!

If you’re not familiar with the tale, a kind-hearted elephant, Horton, discovers that the entire town of Whoville exists on a tiny speck. Horton warns the Mayor of Whoville about his people’s predicament and vows to transplant the town to a safer location…no matter the danger involved. Steve Carell, who also voiced Hammy in Over the Hedge, plays the wacky Mayor of Whoville and the titular pachyderm is voiced by the Grinch himself, Jim Carrey.

Our judges were granted a special advance viewing of the film. We’ll find out what the judges thought, after the break

Horton Hears a Who - Trailer

Ryan: Welcome back. Now let’s hear what the judges have to say. First up, Mr. Randy Jackson.

(audience cheers)

Randy: Okay, so check it. This story is, like, my kids’ favorites. You don’t know how many times I rocked them to sleep with Horton so I was expecting big things from this movie, and I gotta tell ya, you brought it!

I wasn’t really feeling Carrey as Horton, though, man. I felt he wasn’t the right voice choice for the role. Whenever you hear Horton’s voice you expect those wild Carrey antics, know what I’m sayin’? And you know what, man, I don’t know if I’d hired Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill for the minor roles they had. Those guys are comedy powerhouses and you don’t really hit their potential. But you know, I was totally groovin’ to Carell as the Mayor, dawg. Awesome voice, really brings in that frenzied vibe they were going for. The music was banging! I especially dug the 80’s throwback number. I can totally see this as the number-one box-office hit.

Ryan: High praise. I wonder if Ms. Abdul agrees. Paula?

Paula: Ah, I loved this movie! I mean, uh, when I was watching this…the colors…they were so, they were just so bright and colorful. Well, umm, the look…the voices, the whole…You know what? (hits table with her hands) It was sooo charming!

You know Jim, umm, Jim. I’ve enjoyed him from the very start …when he first, he um, he’s such a funny guy! Really, all the voices are just wonderful. So much energy! Everyone, ah…um they all, really…really captured the heart, um, the feeling of the story.

You know what, people…people will say, they may think…they may not adore you but that’s why you got to be true to your. Self. And your heart. And…I think…and you know what you did that, um and…it was adorable.

(jumps to her feet)

I loved it, loved it! It was just too cute!

(audience claps loudly)

Ryan: Sounds like an enthusiastic YES from Paula. Simon Cowell, what say you?

Simon: I have to be honest with you…

Ryan: Let me guess. You don’t like children’s movies.

Simon: (scowling) Brilliant deduction. As I’ve said before, I’m not a fan of children’s movies.

(audience boos loudly)

Simon: Oh, be quiet. I’m not a fan, but that said, Hudson is surprisingly good. It…

Paula: Horton. It’s Horton.

Simon: What?

Ryan: The name’s Horton, not Hudson, Simon.

Simon: (rolls eyes) Whatever. Horton, Hudson. The point is, and I agree with Randy here, I wouldn’t have made all of the casting choices that were made. I think some of the choices were totally forgettable. I think some of the better voices were wasted. Personally, I would have liked to have heard more from Amy Poehler. The animation is excellent. Some of the scenes are a bit put on. But

(audience boos again)

Simon: BUT when you tell a story like this, it’s unavoidable. The big musical number at the end was indulgent. It was all a bit karaoke for me. I mean, who was that put in for, the children or was it pandering to the adults in the theater?

(audience boos yet again)

Ryan: So do we take it that’s a thumbs up?

Simon: Yes. (giving a dismissive wave) It was good enough..

Ryan: There you have it America! The judges’ opinions, for what they are worth. But the real judge is you. A special thanks to Mr. Jim Carrey for being with us tonight. From all of us here at the Fox studios and The Idol, and from Mr. Carrey, we hope to see you in the seats this weekend!

"You like me, you really like me!"

Large Association of Movie Blogs

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