Friday, August 7, 2009

Trailer Trash: The August 7th Quickie

You know it's an insane start to the month when the Reel Whore can't start it off with a Gang Bang! It may turn out to be a good thing considering August has, like, fifteen movies slated for release. That's just a lot of celluloid for anyone to take in.

Instead of starting August with
a hard-pounding line-up of trailers, stargazers will be treated to a quickie summarizing each week's releases.

I've also decided to switch things up a bit. Since my time to write is sparse, I've decided to use pretty, pretty pictures to help take out the trash. A photo-heavy, quickie Trailer Trash; I know it's a lot of changes, but some of you stargazers may prefer it.

According to IMDb here's what's opening today (in no particular order):

Shorts: The Adventures of the Wishing Rock (08.07) The only reason someone would subject themselves to this:

is to help Robert Rodriguez bank roll these:

Maybe I'll just drop Robert a check in the mail instead.

Verdict: Exercise the Right To Cinematic Celibacy.


A Perfect Getaway (08.07) A thriller featuring three of my favorite nearly-megastars, Steve Zahn, Timothy Olyphant, and Milla Jovovich:

It may turn out to be crap, but I'll be there opening weekend to find out.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


Julie & Julia (08.07) What could be better than a film starring Who's That Lady? inductee Mary Lynn Rajskub and Amy Adams portraying a woman who cooks for her man?!

Meryl, please demonstrate just how excited I am:

Honestly, I could watch an entire movie of Amy sucking her finger, but that'd be a whole different kind of film:

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!


G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (08.07) I've got three reasons to be excited about this:

One, Dennis Quaid as General Hawk
Two, Snake Eyes!

Three, umm, maybe those would make it FOUR reasons?

Problem is, to see all that I have to suffer through this:

and this:

and him:

Where's Derek Luke, Taye Diggs, Tyrese Gibson, hell, even Tyler Perry when you need him!

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


Join me again next week when I break it down for August 14th's nine releases, or as I like to call it; the end-of-summer colonic.

Large Association of Movie Blogs


  1. Machete and Red Sonja = excitement. In the meantime, "A Perfect Getaway" looks good. Glad to see Milla Jovovich playing something outside of one-woman fighting force with questionable wardrobe choices.

  2. I've just seen Perfect Getaway and really enjoyed it. I'm glad the trailers keep you mostly in the dark.

    I wish Machete was coming out this month instead of next year!

  3. I almost hope it rains this weekend so I can sneak in an APG matinee ... aw, heck, I may go regardless of the forecast.

  4. I don't think you'll regret sneaking off to see it, esp if you like those three. I still have to post my Getaway review.

  5. I'm just thrilled that Machete is coming out at all. The fact that it is practically defines the word awesome. I guess I shouldn't be so hard on Double R.

    LOL @ 24 Hrs.' Milla line. Yeah, remember when people thought of her as an "actress?" Seems so long ago...

    Nick also had good things to say about A Perfect Getaway. The cast is good enough; maybe I can be persuaded to see it.

  6. I have a hard time w/ RR. One minute he's making Machete, then it's all weirdo kid stuff. I'm sure if he just did violent and gory all the time, I'd be sick of him then, too.

    I've always liked Milla though I can never forgive her for suckering me into Ultraviolet.

    I just posted a quickie for A Perfect Getaway. Just go see it before too many ppl talk it up.