Friday, May 21, 2010

Bangin' Out the Jizt:: One-Man Wolf Pack Edition

In this fast-paced world of blogging, tweeting and fly-by-night film voyeurism, sometimes one doesn't have the time to give a film proper treatment. More importantly, others do not always have the time to read it. Sometimes you just have to take it around back and squeeze one out in 1-2-3 quick licks.

Think of
The Jizt as the wham, bam, thank you ma'am of reviews.


The Ghost Writer

Release: 02.19.10 limited
Rated PG-13
2 hours, 8 minutes

Full Price

Ewan McGregor (Stay), Pierce Brosnan (The Matador), Olivia Williams (An Education)

The Build-up: Contracted to polish the memoirs of former British Prime Minister Adam Lang, the Ghost becomes fixated on the circumstances surrounding his predecessor's death.

The Blurt-out: I'm not sure Eli Wallach was cast or, by complete coincidence, owned the beach house used on location, but it worked either way.

The Jizt: This tautly directed and excellently performed mystery keeps the cat in the bag and audiences on the edges of their seats until the very end.

"I don't need a ghost writer to help me with the Jizt, so bugger off!"


Terribly Happy (Frygtelig lykkelig)

Release: 02.05.10 limited
Rated UR
1 hour, 30 minutes

Full Price

Jakob Cedergren, Lene Maria Christensen, Kim Bodnia

The Build-up: After marshal Robert Hansen goes a little crazy in Copenhagen, he is relocated to the insular farming town of Skarrild where he appears to be the only sane one.

The Blurt-out: If you've been feening for a movie where folks smack children, commit adultery and play cards on the regular, this should be the must-see event of your year!

The Jizt: The dreariness of the bog pales in comparison to the desperate situations the marshal mires himself in, yet you'll be the one glued to the spot as the story unfolds.

"Just one moment more, sir. I've nearly got the Jizt."



Release: 03.26.10 limited
Rated R
1 hour, 47 minutes

Full Price

Ben Stiller (The Royal Tenenbaums), Greta Gerwig (Baghead), Rhys Ifans (Notting Hill)

The Build-up: Emotionally fragile Roger Greenberg returns to Los Angeles to house-sit for his brother, but secretly hopes to mend the broken connections in his life.

The Blurt-out: Had Greenberg seen Florence in her pre-hospital duds, I wonder if his attraction would have remained as strong.

The Jizt: Look beyond the unlikeable facade of these characters to discover the latest disturbingly funny and emotionally poignant coming-of-age story from the mind of writer-director Noah Baumbach.

"When subjected to the Jizt, I always wear adequate eye protection."


Release: 01.08.10
Rated R
1 hour, 30 minutes

Group Rental

Cast: Michael Cera (Paper Heart), Portia Doubleday, Jean Smart (Garden State)

The Build-up: As an outcast in both his family and high school circles, Nick Twisp finds ascension to coolness by following the advice of his lusty, devil-may-care alter ego, Francois Dillinger.

The Blurt-out: I'm fairly certain Zach Galifiankis's brief appearance was because he jumped this shit-ship the moment The Hangover opened at number one at the box office.

The Jizt: It takes some amazingly disjointed filmmaking to effectively neutralize, nay degrade, the movie-redeeming charms of Michael Cera.

"I'm impressed you managed to get the Jizt stuck to your forehead."

Large Association of Movie Blogs


  1. Greenberg looks like a film that Stiller is just trying to show so hard that he can do dramatic roles too.

  2. Youth in Revolt will, to this day, remain the only adaption of a book I've read that I am in full support of the many changes they made. Etc.

  3. @CMrok93- Stiller does a decent job. I think I prefer him in serious-ish roles like this or Tenenbaums. Not a huge fan of his comedy.

    @Simon- Was the book that bad? It's rare that changes to the source mat'l are met with praise.

  4. The book was excellent. And the movie was fine. They just stop bearing any resemblance to each other after awhile.

  5. I'm starting to wonder if the drunk douchebag shouting during my showing adversely influenced my opinion of the film. Maybe I'll find the book and see if that motivates me to watch the movie again.