Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A Quickie: Max Payne

Release: 10.17.08
DVD Release: 01.20.09
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 40 minutes

Group Rental ($)

Today, Max Payne releases on DVD. Since some of you will be swinging by your local rental store, Redbox or rearranging your NFQ, here's the gist. Max Payne (Mark Wahlberg, Shooter) is a NYC DEA agent out for revenge against the brutal murder of his family. During his investigation, Max encounters Mona Sax (Mila Kunis, Forgetting Sarah Marshall), an assassin out to avenge her sister's murder by the same conspirators. As Payne hunts, the cops, the killers and the mob seek to shut him down.

Four Brothers, The Departed, Shooter. Wahlberg's film career was looking up until 2008. Then came M. Night Shyamalan's "The Crappening" and things turned sour. I came out of that film thinking, at least he's got Max Payne coming. It did turn out better...barely.

After the dark and dreary opening, audiences are treated to a sexy, slinky Natasha (Olga Kurylenko, Hitman) trying to seduce the single-minded Payne. That scene really gets the blood pumping for greater things to come; things that never come. What does follow is a plodding story in which Wahlberg mostly sulks in the rain. But that's more than we get from Kunis, who just stands and stares and stares. The few action sequences are bloated by slow- motion visuals and effects which steal even more minutes from your life you'll never get back.

It was nice to see Donal Logue (Blade) working. I'd have liked to see Kurylenko and Kunis actually been given something to do. 2009 is all about hope. Let's hope Wahlberg's future films aren't like this.

The Unrated DVD adds only three minutes to the runtime. Director John Moore made Max Payne with the PG-13 rating in mind so don't expect much. Moore was actually quite miffed when it initially received an R-rating from the MPAA. Read more.

Large Association of Movie Blogs


  1. Yeah...it's safe to say I'll never see this. Thanks for taking one for the team.

    By the way - didn't know where to put this, but how's the health? You back to 100%?

  2. Adding insult to injury, this was the last flick I saw before I went in for my second surgery.

    The health is much improved, thanks for asking. I am still recovering but I feel much stronger everyday. 3 weeks ago I was able to start drinking clear liquids! Today I met my doc and he's surprised at my recovery but I've got one more 3 week hurdle to get through. I'd say I'm at 80% and rising.

    I reach 100%, then the fun of going back to my normal life, and job, begins. Yay.

  3. Well, at least you'll have nowhere to go but up, film-wise.

    Glad to hear on the health front. I worry about my brotha from another motha, you know. :D

    Woo hoo - work! Haha.