Secret Diary '08: Confessions of a Reel Whore

Hey Stargazers! My original intention had been to sift through the ticket stubs, Redbox receipts and Netflix rental history back in December and collate the must-see and must-avoid films from 2008. Obviously, I am a little behind but you can blame the setbacks on all that bother with McCoy. As they say, better late than never, so let's get started with:

From January 1 to December 31, 2008 nearly 1100 films were released into U.S. theaters or straight to DVD, according to The Numbers. Of those, my confessions are limited to the 92 films I viewed in theaters or from my couch (not including those pesky straight-to-DVD releases). I am sad that I fell short of last year's total by twenty films, but my wife likes to remind me that I had a very good excuse. To the best of my ability, my year in review ONLY counts 2008 releases.

As with my previous confessions, I organize my picks into a Top 7 where the #1 choice is the hands-down winner and the remaining six fall a close second. Why 7? “Seven’s the key number here.” Who has time for eight in this day and age? And six!? I can’t even break a sweat with six! It’s gotta be seven, man, seven!

In the spirit of all things 7, I have divvied my list of movies into 7 categories. You may not agree with the every designation, and that’s your prerogative. What is important is each category has all the films that will vie for the titles of Best and Worst. That major announcement, dear readers, will be saved until the finale. Today I start by presenting the full listing of every 2008 theatrical release I have seen.

Reel Whore’s
Total Tricks Turned in '08

Action (9 films)
Death Race; Doomsday; The Forbidden Kingdom; Hancock; Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull; Quantum of Solace; Rambo; Sukiyaki Western Django; Transporter 3

Comedy (23 films)
Baby Mama; Be Kind Rewind; Charlie Bartlett; Drillbit Taylor; The Foot Fist Way; Get Smart; Hamlet 2; Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay; Horton Hears a Who; The House Bunny; Kung Fu Panda; The Pineapple Express; Role Models; Semi-Pro; Sex Drive; Smart People; Son of Rambow: A Home Movie; Soul Men; Step Brothers; Strange Wilderness; Tropic Thunder; You Don't Mess With the Zohan; Young People Fucking (YPF)

Drama (14 films)
The Babysitters; The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; Doubt; The Fall; The Family That Preys; Gran Torino; Married Life; Meet the Browns; The Other Boleyn Girl; Rachel Getting Married; Redbelt; Seven Pounds; Slumdog Millionaire; Swing Vote

Horror (9 films)
Cloverfield; Diary of the Dead; The Eye; The Happening; Midnight Meat Train; Quarantine; The Ruins; The Strangers; Teeth

Romance (16 films)
27 Dresses; Definitely, Maybe; Elegy; Forgetting Sarah Marshall; Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day; My Blueberry Nights; Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist; Over Her Dead Body; Sex and the City; Then She Found Me; Twilight; Vicky Cristina Barcelona; WALL-E; The Wackness; What Happens in Vegas...; Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Sci-Fi/Fantasy (8 films)
The Dark Knight; Hellboy II: The Golden Army; The Incredible Hulk; Iron Man; Jumper; Max Payne; The Spiderwick Chronicles; Wanted

Thriller (8 films)
The Bank Job; Burn After Reading; In Bruges; Righteous Kill; Street Kings; Traitor; Untraceable; Vantage Point

With that out of the way, let's move on to the first of my confessions. The #1 position is the film I consider to be, hands-down, the best of 2008, while the remaining six nip closely at its heels.

Award #1: Sexiest Actor of 2008
Sure the Golden Globes, SAG Awards and the Academy recognize men and women for exceptional character portrayals, but audiences sometimes venture to theaters solely for the eye candy. In the case of leading and supporting men, it's those sparkling eyes, firm pecs and all-around sexiness that appeal to us.

While some awards recognize stellar performances, I have examined the men of 2007 for what makes people swoon: winning smiles, finely honed bodies and all-around sexiness. While last year's fellas were mostly bad boys, 2008 is quite the mixed bag. 2008's also-rans, in no particular order are:

The Sloppy Seconds

	Colin Farrell- There's always been a seediness to Farrell I've never been down with, but as a conflicted hitman in In Bruges his softer side emerges. His dark eyes will lure you into his tormented soul, even if his mouth is sputtering on about how Bruges is a shithole.
James Marsden- Shedding the goody-two-shoes demeanor typically thrust upon him, Marsden has tons of fun playing the cynical reporter in 27 Dresses. It was the perfect blend of sarcasm and hotness to win over Heigl.
	Jonathan B. Wright- This Broadway actor transferred his rugged good looks onto the celluloid in Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. He's credited as playing 'The Beefy Guy' aptly named Lethario. He isn't given much to do onscreen, but trust me, just being onscreen is enough.
Brad Pitt- Audiences were treated to a peak-of- perfection Pitt for a third of Benjamin Button. If the old-to-young man didn't work for you, there's still his hunky fitness instructor Chad in Burn After Reading. Granted, he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer but no one really cares as long as he looks good.
	Jason Statham- This was quite the banner year for Statham having starred in four films. I can't attest to Boll's Dungeon Siege flick, but Statham is just too cool for school in The Bank Job, Death Race and Transporter 3. Whether he's robbing a bank or seeking revenge on a racetrack, he exudes machismo. As an added bonus, he can't go more than fifteen minutes without losing his shirt in T3! Smokin'!

Josh Peck- Though he played a novice to love in The Wackness, he was a smooth operator when it came to his business. Anyone who can play it cool and collect while selling drugs from an ice cream cart earns major brownie points.

Drumroll please...

And the award for Sexiest Actor of 2008 goes to:

Javier Bardem- After sporting that whacked-out 'do in No Country last year, Bardem cleans up his looks...and the ladies. In Vicky Cristina Barcelona he manages to seduce not one but two lovely American girls, settles down with one, then convinces her to allow his ex-lover to share their home...and more. All implausible if it were anyone but Bardem!

Whew! 2008's awards are already shaping up quite nice..very nice indeed. While I let you ponder these choices, I will put the polish on tomorrow's installment, which features 7 Sexiest Actresses of 2008 and much more as I continue my Secret Diary '08: Confessions of a Reel Whore.