Friday, January 30, 2009

Secret Diary 08: Confessions Part V

I hope you've been able to keep up. You've got to have a good deal of stamina to stay on pace when the Reel Whore gets in the groove.

Yesterday I awarded 2008's Most Memorable Scene and Most Memorable Music or Dance Performance. The Dark Knight brought home the prize in one category, though had director Christopher Nolan included a Bat-usi number, it may have been a clean sweep!

Moving on. One of the most important contributions to the cinematic experience are those always in the supporting shadow. I am, of course, referring to the animals. To rectify this gross exclusion from the award community, I'd like to present the next award:

Award #7: Most Memorable Animals: Solo or Ensemble Performance of 2008

The Sloppy Seconds:

Tropic_Thunder_9 Ox (Tropic Thunder) - Goaded into hauling Jack Black's ass around had to prove no easy task. At least, he got to enjoy the company of Robert Downey, Jr.

Wallace the Monkey (The Fall) - Charged to play Darwin's companion, Wallace is called upon to help out our brave band of adventurers time and again. The real treat is the irony in his role.

Elephant (The Fall) - The Fall's creature cast comes through again. This time, an elephant is employed to carry the Masked Bandit from his island prison. The sheer beauty of watching the beast swim to shore is spectacular.

Daisy the Lab (Gran Torino) - Long before Walt Kowalski is confronted by his neighbors and the insistent priest, the aging Daisy is the only creature understanding of our sour protagonist's ways.

Seven_Pounds_1 Duke the Great Dane (Seven Pounds) - Before Ben enters the picture, the 'vegetarian' Duke is Emily's closest friend. Oh to be that lucky, lucky dog.

Rats (Wanted) - Rats, rats and more rats! Wanted's climax would have been a total wash had it not been for The Exterminator and his fascination with these instrumental rodents.

And the award for Most Memorable Animal: Solo or Ensemble Performance of 2008 goes to:

Dewie the Bear


Jackie Moon decides to wrestle Dewie the Bear in an attempt to put asses in seats at his Tropics games. Rocky, playing Dewie gives Moon a run for his money no matter how many times he yells "Spumoni." FYI, Rocky did not receive this award due to a threat of violence, despite having killed his trainer shortly after Semi-Pro.


After recognizing the best animal performances of the year, I'd be remiss not to mention the greatest creation of a quality film. The efforts of the actor, the writer, and the director combine to create a character that makes a lasting impression on the viewer and takes the film to a whole new level. What follows are the 7 best characters this past year.

Award #8: Most Memorable Characters of 2008

The Sloppy Seconds:

Ezekiel (Sex Drive): Ian's best friend Lance is hilarious and his brother Rex is wild and crazy. Neither hold a comedic candle to the dry wit and sarcasm of the roadtrippers savior, Ezekiel.

Kirk Lazarus (Tropic Thunder): Having been nominated for an Academy Award should give you some inkling of how great a character Kirk is. Without him, Tropic Thunder would have been just another bad, bad Ben Stiller flick.

Kym (Rachel Getting Married): 'Spirited' is just one of the many words you can describe Kym by. Her presence is polarizing to say the least and why you are drawn into every moment of Rachel Getting Married.

Alexandria (The Fall): Alexandria's imagination fuels the spectacular visuals of the tale told in The Fall. More importantly, she is just about the most adorable child you will see onscreen!

the fall
Les Grossman (Tropic Thunder): This is not my first mention of this gut-busting character and I am not the only person to appreciate his inclusion in Tropic Thunder. If you are one of the three people to have not seen it; rent it, buy it, steal it. I don't care but somehow, someway go watch it now.

Maria Elena (Vicky Cristina Barcelona): Maria Elena is admittedly all kinds of crazy, yet her charisma sucks the man of her past and even his lover, into her orbit. Their attentions don't make her any less neurotic which makes her so damn fun! penelope-cruz

And the award for Most Memorable Character of 2008 goes to:

The Joker

(The Dark Knight)

With all the hype surrounding The Dark Knight, Heath Ledger's performance and his untimely demise, was there any doubt that the Joker would not top the list? This onscreen updated of the sick, sadistic character perfectly captured the essence of Batman's greatest foe.


Is it just me, or are your fingers tired, too? It's probably just me. Luckily I have but two more days of Confessions. Part VI promises the only two named prizes, the Que Ridiculo! Award and Paula Jai Parker Award. See you back here tomorrow for more.

Large Association of Movie Blogs


  1. I think I enjoyed these two awards the most. Who else gave love to the animals? No one, that's who. Thank you for reminding me of the gorgeous shot of the elephant swimming. It's been so long since we saw The Fall, and it had so many beautiful shots, that I'd forgotten that.

    Love that you called out the adorable Alexandria, too.

    The Great Dane might have been one of the only redeeming things about 7 Lbs. The more I think about that flick, the more I dislike it.

  2. The Fall had so many great animals. If I thought hard enough they could have swept the award. I'd love to see the Fall on my HD. I bet it would look awesome and Alexandria would still be adorable!

    I'm with you on 7lbs. I saw it b/c of Rosario but the more I reflect on it, the more it blew chunks. The acting was great a la Cast Away but the story...