Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Secret Diary '08: Confessions Part II

The first installment is behind us; only six more to go! If you're just tuning in, you've got to start from the beginning.

Today I announce the Sexiest Actress of 2008 and recognize the six oh-so-close runner-ups. I'd also like to recognize films that I never intended to miss, but somehow in this crazy little world they managed to escape my viewing. In 2009, be it by second-run theater, Netflix or Redbox, they will be seen. My Top 7 Must See Films are:

The Sloppy Seconds:

Choke- When I heard they were making another film based on a Chuck Palahniuk novel, I was ready to purchase my ticket. Granted, I don't see how the movie can possibly convey the level of deviancy in the book, but with Sam Rockwell in the starring role a solid attempt should be made.

Flash of Genius
- Pretty much the
Tucker: The Man and His Dream for the new millennium, but hey, I loved that flick. Also, I always enjoy a good turn by Greg Kinnear. Besides, it'll be a nice reminder of the Big 3 automakers' true colors as our government gives them money to burn.

Speed Racer - I didn't have an ounce of interest in seeing this when it released. Since then, blogger consensus is that it was a treat to watch. Their opinions, coupled with my desire to push my new HDTV to its color saturation limits, has Speed Racer resting high on my NFQ.

- My love of movies was born and
bred on Jean-Claude Van Damme's splits and triple-take, crotch-exposing roundhouse kicks. I was ready to be first in line to see JCVD's return to fame and legitimacy, but if this blew through my town I never heard about it!

Repo! The Genetic Opera- Another film that got no love in Po'Dunk, NC. It did open at one theater one week before releasing on DVD, but by then I could wait for home delivery. The story sounds insane and I could do without Paris Hilton, but I promised Bill Moseley I'd check it out and he's too scary to cross!

The Wrestler- I wasn't too excited about this Mickey Rourke comeback...then I saw the trailer and was instantly mesmerized. If the film is even half as powerful as the promos I'll be happy. I'd have been happier if NC had gotten this in December, especially because native Evan Rachel Wood also stars.

And the Winner is:

Changeling- I honestly have no excuse for why I missed this film. Granted, I was in recovery, but still I'm a huge fan of Eastwood's projects. I am a big fan of Angelina Jolie (whether she's wearing clothes or not) and I was excited to see Jeffrey Donovan of Burn Notice fame get some serious big-screen exposure. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a second-run showing but if I have to settle for home viewing, it shall be done forthwith.

Quite a nice selection of films, if I do say so myself. Now let's move on to more stimulating awards. Of course, I am referring to:

Award #2:
Sexiest Actress of 2008

With the Sexiest Actor award already posted, it's time to give equal treatment to the fairer sex. This is my most difficult category because as we all know, I do love the ladies. At least I get the pleasure of sifting through all the mental images left behind by the contenders. Like the gentlemen, this year's women are from a broad range of films. Let's begin.

The Sloppy Seconds:

Amy Adams
- I know what
you're thinking: does the Reel Whore have some sort of nun fetish?! No, I am reaching back to early 2008 for Adams's portrayal of Delysia in Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day. She was stunning in every outfit and flaunted her flirtatious side. There's also the little matter of a demure bathtub scene you won't soon forget.

Kat Dennings - After 40 Year Old Virgin, I expected big things from this young lady and 2008 was her year. Charlie Bartlett, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and The House Bunny all prove she's got star power and sex appeal. If you've missed any or all of these flicks, you've done yourself, and Ms. Dennings, a disservice.

Anna Faris
- The star of The House Bunny has always gotten love from the Reel Whore. In 2008, she deserves special recognition for all the gym hours she logged to achieve Playmate firmness. Combining the physique with her comedic physicality, Anna Faris proved to be a reckoning force for the big screen.

Rachel Weisz- This may come as a shock to those who know I have little love for Ms. Weisz. That said, her come-hither look employed in both Definitely, Maybe and My Blueberry Nights put the voodoo on me. With little more than a swish of her hip and toss of her hair, she will leave you floored.

Patricia Clarkson
- Another three-peat from last year,
Clarkson seduced us in Married Life, Vicky Cristina Barcelona and especially Elegy. Playing strong, sexually assertive characters in all three, she was a shoe-in. You know a woman oozes sexuality when the way she casually sits in a chair is a turn-on!

Mila Kunis- I was more a Laura Prepon junkie during her stint on That 70's Show but Forgetting Sarah Marshall hath converted me to a Mila fan! There wasn't a single scene when she wasn't stunning. Watching a hottie like her fall for the likes of Jason Segel made her a serious contender for the #1 spot.

And the award for Sexiest Actress of 2008 goes to:

Penélope Cruz
- Though her conservative Cuban character in Elegy was quite the contrast to the unfettered but unstable ex-lover in Vicky Cristina Barcelona, her sultry nature shone through in both roles. When comparing her to the others, she burned the category with her Spanish heat!

Thus concludes Part II of Secret Diary '08. I'm off to take a cold shower! Join me tomorrow for Part III of Confessions of a Reel Whore.

Large Association of Movie Blogs


  1. I'll never get people's love for Faris, but I'm otherwise on board with you for most of these. I didn't really enjoy Elegy, but it's hard to complain too much about a movie that features a topless Cruz for minutes at a time...

    Choke was a big disappointment.

    I too had no interest in seeing Speed Racer, but am at least curious now.

    JCVD is playing here in a small theater now. I gotta go see it, but it's a bit of a haul. We'll see..

    Yes, see The Wrestler asap.

    Still no interest here in seeing Changeling.

  2. I wish I could help you get your Faris fetish on.

    Deep down I thought Choke would suck. In the book, Rockwell's xter is mid-twenties not forty! Plus it's such a filthy story the film would have to be X-rated.

    I think JCVD was in a theater 30+ minutes from my house and I didn't go. I have five theaters within ten minutes, hard to justify making such a haul for one flick.

    I just saw Changeling Saturday. Why aren't you interested, Jolie?

    The Wrestler is my next must-see. I've got to see it, Milk, The Reader and Revolutionary Road asap.

  3. I didn't hate the Choke movie, but I enjoyed the book a lot more.

    Changeling...ugh, I dunno. Seems like Ransom without the kidnapping. GIVE ME BACK MY SON!

  4. Ransom - a blast from the past. Reminds me I need to show Lily Taylor some Who That Lady Love.

    I liked Changeling's cast and the twist is how tied her hands were being a 'fragile', single mom in the 30's.

  5. "Reminds me I need to show Lily Taylor some Who That Lady Love."

    Excellent idea. And I need to show you some love with my next FF-UN. One of these days, we should do some kind of companion thing between my Fellas and your Ladies...

  6. That's not a bad idea. A collaborative venture in support of our favorite little people.