Week of Reel WHorror!: Day 2

Welcome to Day 2 of the

Week of Reel WHorror!

Sorry, this post has nothing to do with Natasha Henstridge or the movie Species, I just like both of them a lot and wanted to use that freaky yet hot image!

You may have missed the subtle introduction to the Week of Reel WHorror; it was buried in this week's Monday Mood Music. Today's post is a walk down memory lane at the Reel Whore. I watch a lot of horror flicks, but surprisingly, I have not posted as many as I have thought. Since everyone is hungering for some horror and gore this time of year, I have added the Reel WHorror label to any old post that qualifies as disturbing fare.

Some links are horror, others thriller, and a few are just gory goodness. I even tossed in a couple of posts for the Siren of the LAMBs battle royale featuring my Baby Firefly fan fiction. If you missed out on it, read it...if you dare!

Stay tuned, Day 3 only gets bigger and better!

Nick & Norah: Worth the Underwire

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Release: 10.03.08
Rated PG-13
1 hour, 30 minutes

Full-Price ($$$$) <
> Matinee ($$$)


Nick (Michael Cera, Juno) sits at home pining over Tris (Alexa Dziena, Havoc), the girl who dumped him on his B-day. His buddies show up to drag him from his emo-cocoon to play bass and operate the drums at their band, The Jerk Offs, latest gig. Nick hops into his Yugo and sputters into the Big Apple. In Engelwood, Norah (Kat Dennings, The House Bunny) and Caroline (Ari Graynor, Mystic River) head into the city for a night of fun and a chance to find the elusive indie band Where's Fluffy?. Norah, rattled by Tris's attitude at The Jerk Offs gig, pretends Nick is her new boyfriend. Her ruse is exploited by Nick's mates asking Norah to give Nick a chance at love while they babysit Caroline.

Despite the weird title, I was stoked to see N&N because of my favoritest two youngbloods. The perpetual high schooler, Cera plays Nick differently from that of his Juno and Superbad roles, though he does slip into that nervous, jittery vibe now and then. Dennings' Norah is a straight arrow and mother hen to her friend Caroline. Surprisingly, you'll find yourself remembering Caroline's drunken antics as much as the N&N romance. Graynor is given a Banks-able role which she exploits (minor but memorable enough to launch a star; a la Elizabeth Banks in Forty Year-Old Virgin).

Dirty Undies
Cera may be a total mo, but Dennings is looking voluptuous from head to toe. She has the goods to give ScaJo a run for her money. Nick's buddies' new friend Lethario (Jonathan B. Wright) has a hunky Josh Hartnett vibe going. I won't be the only person expecting to see more from him.

Some might say that N&N is "full of the gays" so if you've got a complex maybe you should steer clear. Nick's gay bandmates and the gay clubs visited are just a part of the night. This casual inclusion is refreshing in contrast to the usual movies loaded with homophobic or homosexual hi jinks. The vulgar moments lie instead in hetero sex talk, slutty dancing and underage drinking.

The Money Shot
The strength of N&N is the authentic awkwardness of their young love. Neither is sure what to say and when they do speak it's goofy or sounds bitter. Just as Norah warms to Nick he rolls out the Tris-talk to kill the mood. Enter Tris, the completely selfish skank, pouncing on Nick before he finds happiness outside of her clutches. Likewise Norah's ex Tal, (Jay Baruchel, Knocked Up) unleashes the Jew fire just as Nick thinks he's in the zone. The night is full of ups and downs, cock-blocking ex-lovers, a frenetic Caroline on the lam, and mistakes and mercies that remind us the fun is not missing the moment while trying to capture it.

MMM: A Graveyard Smash!

Monday already, huh? More importantly, Halloween is just five days away! I'd like to use my Monday Mood Music platform to launch my own mini post-a-thon in celebration of the season. Welcome to the first post in the Week of Reel WHorror!

This week's music selection satisfies both the groove you need to start the week off right but also the vibe necessary to ring in the witching hour.

The video is more a short film than a collage of pretty images set to music. It debuted nearly twenty-five years and cost around a half-million dollars; an unheard of amount at that time for a music video.

Zombies with far better coordination than those in Romero films get down in the dead of night, Vincent Price recites a foreboding prelude to the horrors to come, and director John Landis transforms the King of Pop into a cat-like monster and a zombie with a penchant for red leather. Michael Jackson's Thriller is a classic. You'll no doubt hear it a lot this week, but enjoy the full length video here.

The scariest part of Thriller is Ola Ray's skin-tight blue denim cheetah print capri's and matching denim jacket. **shudder**

Trailer Trash: The October 24th Quickie

It's the end of yet another week in October meaning it's time to run through the openers coming our way. I can hardly believe it, but IMDB lists nine F'n movies releasing this week. Granted, many of the films are limited, but that's a whole lotta choices. Let's see how many I can squeeze into this quickie.


High School Musical 3: Senior Year Better known as HSM3. I got to be honest here; never seen the first two so why would I want to start now? The trailer does make me want to re-watch Not Another Teen Movie for the 100th time. On another note, when will this trend of turning television fodder (Hannah Montana, Sex and the City, Star Wars: Clone Wars and now this) into ticketed fare end?

Verdict: Exercise the Right To Cinematic Celibacy.



Changeling (limited) Being a huge Clint Eastwood fan, I may be biased when I say this looks phenomenal. It's intense and Jolie looks to be aiming her sights for another Oscar. Playing opposite her is one of my faves, Jeffrey Donovan of Burn Notice fame. Clint has the habit of making films long, but every moment will surely have its purpose.


Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!



Pride and Glory Good cop. Dirty Cop. Brothers at odds. I've been sold this tale before though the acting should be on point. Colin Farrell and Edward Norton vie to be the toughest nut to crack while Jon is reminds us Angelina isn't the only Voight with acting gravitas. But my real excitement is I saw Rick "Spanish" Gonzales being tossed about in one scene. If you could measure the worth of a movie with Spanish's appearance, well...

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.



Passengers This flick is Anne Hathaway's horror film debut, unless you count Princess Diaries. I hadn't seen anything about this until I perused the IMDB list. It looks more thrilling than horrific but Patrick Wilson does add a nice creepiness factor despite being so hunky. I'm thinking this will be a little too soft to sate my horror hunger and too convoluted to meet my thriller needs.

Verdict: Exercise the Right To Cinematic Celibacy.



Saw V Saw I, II and III were great. I proclaimed it to be one of the better horror series to be developed in the new millennium. Then came Saw IV and shattered my love affair. I swore off the series after seeing that mess. Now here comes #5. I want to stay away. The trailer doesn't pique my interest, aside from Meagan Good's appearance. Then again, I've seen the first four so why stop now? Help me, please.

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.



Synecdoche, New York (limited) Bizarre. That's the first word that comes to my mind but when isn't a great Charlie Kaufman story labeled that way? Hoffman, through all his various layers of make-up, is drawing me in with his performance. There is also the great supporting cast, including Catherine Keener and Hope Davis, to consider. If, and when, it comes to my local arthouse theater, I'll give this a chance.

Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!



I know there are more films to go, but damn if nine isn't just too many to cover for a quickie! The final three, I've Loved You So Long, Let the Right One In, and Fears of the Dark may be some of the best films releasing this week for all I know, but given their very limited release status it's safe to say they won't make it my way until I make it a Netflix night.

MMM: 1-2-3-Redlight!

Stargazers! Welcome to another week in this crazy thing we call life. If you noticed, my Monday Mood Music title has undergone a few changes. I ditched the hella lame date stamp, abbreviated the title (MMM) and added a topic subtitle. I'm just trying to spruce things up a bit.

I have a long list of musical selections for the coming weeks, but I decided to start with my latest, greatest jam. I can't help but groove when this tune hits the airwaves. It's a collabo between two of my favorite artists, John Legend and André 3000 of Outkast; its perfect to get the blood pumping when suffering from a case of the Mondays.

"Even Stevie Wonder got down sometimes."

If he can, so can you. Have a great week.

Not Watching Sex Drive is How People Get Gay

Sex Drive

Release: 10.17.2008
Rated R
1 hour, 49 minutes

Matinee ($$$)





Let me preface by saying I saw Sex Drive way back in August. I'm not sure if it they took it back to the editing room prior to release but let's assume not.

Chicago high-schooler Ian (Josh Zuckerman, Feast) is eighteen and still a virgin unlike his best bud Lance (Clark Duke, Clark and Michael). Though scruffy with a throwback fashion sense, ladies love cool Lance. Felicia (Amanda Crew, She's the Man) is Ian's BFF though he wished it weren't so since he's been feenin' for her since pre-school. To get over her, Lance convinces Ian that his IM buddy Ms. Tasty really is a hot blonde in Knoxville and not some dirty old man. Ian determined to release the virginity pressure, steals the '69 GTO Judge from his older brother Rex (James Marsden, 27 Dresses) to rendezvous with Ms. Tasty. If you think the trip is uneventful with mission accomplished, you've obviously never seen this well-worn premise before.

Zuckerman does a respectable job in the loser role patented by Jason Biggs, Breckin Meyer and the like. His funny scenes rely on bathroom humor - masturbation, condoms and penises mostly, some scenes closely mimicking other sex romp films. Crew is around mainly to be cute and cock block Ian when necessary. Of the trio, Duke commands the funniest lines thanks to his superb delivery.

The hilarity of the film lies with the supporting characters. James Marsden is over-the-top with his homophobia and car obsession. Watching his tantrums is a hilarious departure from his typical good guy roles. Conversely, Seth Green (Austin Powers) uses his perfected sarcasm and dry wit to portray the cool Amish dude Ezekiel. I laughed hardest when Green was in the scene. Sex Drive has a couple more cameos but one's like David Koechner (Get Smart) would've been best omitted.

In fact, it's the nearly two hour runtime that hurts Sex Drive most. At least half the bathroom humor and several peripheral characters, Ian's to-be stepmom and his younger brother among others, could have been cut to trim time and make the jokes pop. Movies like this should never extend too far beyond ninety minutes if they want to be awesome.

Dirty Undies
You expect brief nudity and lots of sex talk in a film called Sex Drive, though more would've been better. There's hot Amish chicks and a hunky Marsden to ogle at least. The bulk of its vulgarity lies in weak bathroom and penis humor. I will give director Sean Anders credit for one excellently executed genitals scene, you'll know it when you see it. The ending devolves into some comedic violence but it's nothing if you've made it through all the cock jokes.

The Money Shot
Sex Drive will not meet any lofty expectations. I'm still bothered by why Rex was living at home despite his age. My expectations ran low but even plot points like that bugged me. I kid, of course. Still, Sex Drive delivers far more laughs than groans. This isn't the kind of movie you question, you just hop in the passenger's seat and enjoy the ride.

Trailer Trash: The October 17th Quickie

Welcome to the second week of my October Trailer Trash coverage. I'm not sure if the format is as nifty as I'd like but I've had no complaints thus far.

I never made it out to theaters this past week. This self-inflicted house arrest must end soon! According to IMDB, the October 17th releases may offer the incentive I need as the number of interesting films in theaters keeps rising.



W I don't know what to think about this film. I saw the first trailer and wasn't too impressed. Since, the countless TV spots sell it as bitingly funny. Still, I've lived the W nightmare the last eight years and can't see paying to relive any fraction of it, or his life prior. On the other hand, Josh Brolin is a damn convincing Bush and would make it worth the price of admission.


Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


Max Payne I've been excited to see this since before Mark Wahlberg could talk to animals. I need something to wash away the foul taste The Happening left. I'm starving for a good actioner and crossing my fingers this will fit the bill. If not, at least I can stare at Mila Kunis and Olgo Kurylenko, although why Kurylenko wears the same red number from Hitman is a little curious.


Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!



Sex Drive Actually, I saw this film two months ago, long before any trailers aired. Assuming I've never seen it, this road trip trailer has three things going for it; Seth Green as an Amish dude, James Marsden as a dick and Clark Duke just being funny. Also, MGMT's cool song Time to Pretend prominently hypes the film. Wait, that's four things isn't it? Expect a proper review later today.


Verdict: Moist With Antici...Pation!



The Secret Life of Bees Based on the best-selling novel with Love & Basketball's Gina Prince-Bythewood helming you'd think it'd be a good flick. No disrespect to the talent of Latifah, Hudson and Keyes but this isn't a musical. Just saying Nia Long, Meagan Good, Gabrielle Union, etc would have liked an audition. Having Fanning in the Haley Joel fugly teen years doesn't help either. At any rate, wifey will be dragging me to see this, despite my minor protests.


Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


What Just Happened (limited) The official trailer has this looking snappy and fun. Then again, I am a sucker for Bruce Willis and watching him play himself with a belly and bushy beard is an almost sell. But I realize in all the spots, I've seen no clue as to what's happening - never a good sign. Since word on the street says its bleh, even Bruce Willis won't get me in the seat opening weekend.


Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.


Morning Light (limited) This is the amazing true story of fifteen teens chosen to participate in a 2300-mile ocean race despite having no sailing experience. Um yeah, I don't watch reality shows on television so I'll be damned if I pay money to watch one in theaters. I thought Disney had an entire channel they could dump garbage like this?


Verdict: Exercise the Right To Cinematic Celibacy.


That's a wrap. Hopefully, I'll make it to the theaters this weekend so I can return to writing reviews next week. Until then...