Friday, April 22, 2011

Trailer Trash: The April 22nd Quickie

Morning stargazers. Another week has flown by and I've got a million things to do today, and the whole Easter weekend. Thankfully, it's another craptacular weekend of new releases so I don't have to try and squeeze in a movie along the way; at least not one of these. However, for those of you looking to check out the latest and 'greatest' Hollywood has to offer, here's what IMDb says is newly available.

Madea's Big Happy Family you folks should know my attitude towards Tyler Perry's movies by now. If this insipid trailer doesn't stop you, maybe the swath of silly spoof posters they made should. Happy Family may strive to be a new low for Perry, just as a way to prove even total shit can make big bank at the box office. Trust us, TP, they're are a plethora of examples out there already, several of them yours.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Water for Elephants Not dying to see this, but you won't have to drag me into a theater as if it were a Tyler Perry movie. The always charismatic Reese looks to be on her game. Pattinson needs a movie to pry him from the Twilight franchise. No need to wind up like Vin Diesel, grasping onto the only popular series he has a decade down the road. Walsh needs anything to make fans remember why we love to hate his villains, before the stench of Green Hornet spreads to DVD.

Verdict:  It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

African Cats Disney has a hard road to profit from their nature series this year, what with Morgan Freeman hocking orphaned orangutans and elephants in Born to be Wild. To their favor, Sam Jackson is their narrator. But as much as I'd like to hear him shout things like , "the mother-fuckin' lion is the fuckin' king of the mutha-fuckin' jungle, " or "that damn cheetah is one fast-ass, mother-fuckin' cat," I don't see that happening, which is a mutha-fuckin' shame.

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Hate to slam and run, but I've gots to get to getting. Have a great weekend and, for those to which it applies, Happy Easter!

Large Association of Movie Blogs

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