Friday, May 22, 2009

Cannae Take Any More! She's Gonna Blow!

How many times has this happened to you? You're sitting in a darkened theater and your fingers, slick from the butter-flavored poppin' corn topping, are nervously rubbing against your palms. You've done it again; you've managed to chase the kernels with two gallons of drink-soda-pop to discover your bladder only has a half-gallon capacity! Do you continue to twist and turn in your seat, hoping the end is near, or do you bolt for the bathroom at the risk of missing Jason Statham break the villain's neck with his pinkie or seeing Scarlett Johansson pull a Fast Times Phoebe Cates moment?

I don't think so. While it is tempting to return that tasty beverage back to the cup from whence it came, your armchair neighbor might not approve. It's futile to hope movie runtimes will return to a manageable ninety minutes; the obsession over the PG-13 dollar and the MPAA's deathgrip on the industry's balls have made 2 hours and eight minutes the recent standard. All we can do is enter the theater prepared.

Unless your a masochist, I do not recommend catheterization. I do recommend the new website:

First off, I love the graphic. You just click on a movie and if the peetimes are available, you choose which time you might expect a much needed release. RunPee will tell you what scene to wait for. A second box holds a synopsis for the minutes of peetime available, which will spare moviegoers from your annoying "What did I miss?" whisper.

The creator admits the site has a ways to go. While I enjoy the witty remarks, it is not always helpful. For example, The peetime for Ghosts of Girlfriends Past states at "1 hour into the movie when...walk out straightaway in fact don't waste money on a ticket." Well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man. You can be funny, but always be helpful for those of us who came specifically to drool over McConaughey's tight and tanned self.

I wouldn't bank on movie runtimes getting shorter anytime soon nor concession cups to get any smaller, so the best bet for you with wee bladders is Because the more you know, the easier you can go.

Large Association of Movie Blogs


  1. Why didn't I think of this!!

  2. RunPee creator here: Thanks so much for your post and comments. I'm glad you like the idea.

    I to am upset that people are leaving PeeTimes that are of the 'this movie sucks so just leave' variety. But, I guess that's what I get for making it a wiki. Tonight I'll work on adding a new feature to let registered users 'vote a PeeTime off the island'. I'm thinking that three strikes and your out. So if a portion of the public is lame enough to leave inappropriate PeeTimes then hopefully there's another portion of the public that will step up and get rid of them.

    Oh, and before anyone says anything: a mobile version is coming. You'll just have to 'hold it' :)

  3. @onesweetmonkey: I dunno why you didn't. If anyone could use this, it's you.

    @polygeek: Great idea to oust the lame pee times democratically. Good luck with the site.

  4. I’m setting up my DVR to catch RunPee's interview on Reelz Channel tomorrow (11:57 am Pacific. DirecTV 238, DishNetwork 299, Time Warner 298) - as they say, “break a leg” … but of course, not literally :)

    SCMF Network is hoping to help out RunPee when the time is right :)