Friday, February 18, 2011

Trailer Trash: The February 18th Quickie

As we wind our way to the end of February, we are greeted by yet another unimpressive set of films. Of the three major releases, only one looks excruciating. For you lucky few, IMDb reports there are also five, city-specific limited releases opening. Since my city isn't privy to such luxuries, I'll be sticking with the big three.

I Am Number Four I'm a Gleek and proud of it. Seeing Diana Agron make the leap to film is exciting. The inclusion of Timothy Olyphant also makes me a bit tingly. However, this movie has a kind of Jumper feel to it; not so much in story similarity as in the vague, thrill-ride trailer that is trying to sucker me into seeing a colossal clusterfuck of a film. I'll let someone else take this bullet first. 

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy.

Unknown Taken took Liam Neeson to new heights of badassery and Unknown is looking to capitalize on that image. My hesitation with this flick isn't the cast, it's the Total Recall vibe coming from the plot. That could mean twisty awesomeness, but it could also mean eye-crossing convolution. If the latter happens, Liam will need to deliver a helluva lot more ass-whooping than this trailer promises. 

Verdict: It's Friday, I Don't Want to be Alone.

Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son How is Martin still making movies, especially sequels like this? Even Eddie had the good sense to hang up the Klump suit after one sequel. Aside from audiences, the real victim here is up-and-comer Brandon T. Jackson. I thought he couldn't stoop lower than playing a half-token, half-goat in Percy Jackson, but, obviously, I was wrong.  

Verdict: Exercise the Right to Cinematic Celibacy. 

Liam looks like my best bet, but considering I have a backlog of postage to work on, I may be chained to my PC all weekend. Enjoy a good film for me, okay?

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