Do not attempt to adjust your station, do not touch that dial...rather, do not attempt to refresh your browser, do not touch that monitor. Reel Whore's Monday Mood Music has commingled with my Confessions. This will be so intense, you won't know where one's flesh stops and the other's begins. You know what I mean? Maybe not...
The reference is a bit dated, but appropriate nonetheless. As with my previous confessions, I organize my picks into a Top 7 where the #1 choice is the hands-down winner and the remaining six nominees fall a close second. Why 7? “Seven’s the key number here.” Who has time for eight in this day and age? And six?! I can’t even break a sweat with six! It’s gotta be seven, man, seven!
From where do my seven picks originate? From January 1 to December 31, 2009, nearly 1,154 films were released into U.S. theaters or straight to DVD, according to The Numbers. Of those, my confessions are limited to the 102 films I viewed in theaters or from my couch (including straight-to-DVD classics). To the best of my ability, my year in review ONLY counts 2009 releases.
In the spirit of all things 7, I organize my list of movies into 7 categories. If you do not agree with a designation, I encourage you to provide a valid argument as to how the film should be categorized. These can be adjusted up until the final day when the Best and Worst of each category will be announced. I now present the full listing of every 2009 release in contention.
Reel Whore’s
Total Tricks Turned in '09
Action (10 films)
Black Dynamite; Blood: The Last Vampire; Crank: High Voltage; Fast & Furious; G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra; Next Day Air; Ninja Assassin; Sherlock Holmes; Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li; Taken
Comedy (18 films)
A Serious Man; The Brothers Bloom; Easy Virtue; Extract; Fanboys; Fantastic Mr. Fox; The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard; The Hangover; I Love You, Beth Cooper; I Love You, Man; The Informant; The Men Who Stare at Goats; Miss March; Observe and Report; Paul Blart: Mall Cop; Up; Whatever Works; World's Greatest Dad
Drama (20 films)
An Education; Away We Go; Brothers; Coco Avant Chanel; Funny People; The Girlfriend Experience; Hurt Locker; Inglorious Basterds; Invictus; Julie & Julia; Life is Hot in Cracktown; Moon; Nine; O'Horten; Powder Blue; Precious; The Road; Sin Nombre; The Soloist; Sunshine Cleaning
Horror (13 films)
Drag Me to Hell; Friday the 13th; The Fourth Kind; The Haunting in Connecticut; Jennifer's Body; The Last House on the Left; My Bloody Valentine 3-D; Paranormal Activity; Thirst; Unborn; The Uninvited; Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans; Zombieland
Romance (10 films)
(500) Days of Summer; 17 Again; Adventureland; Couples Retreat; Ghosts of Girlfriends Past; He's Just Not That Into You; New in Town; Paper Heart; Shall We Kiss?; Time Traveler's Wife
Sci-Fi/Fantasy (17 films)
9; Avatar; Coraline; District 9; G-Force; Green Lantern: First Flight; Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince; Race to Witch Mountain; Star Trek; Superman/Batman: Public Enemies; Terminator Salvation; The Surrogates; Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen; Watchmen; Where the Wild Things Are; X-Men Origins:Wolverine; Wonder Woman
Thriller (10 films)
Assassination of a High School President; Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans; Duplicity; Knowing; Law Abiding Citizen; Obsessed; A Perfect Getaway; Public Enemies; State of Play; The Taking of Pelham 123
With that out of the way, let's move on to the first of my confessions. The #1 position is the film I consider to be, hands-down, the best of 2009, while the remaining six nominees nip closely at its heels.
Award #1: Most Memorable Music or Dance Performance of 2009
I've always kept a special place in my heart for films that create memorable moments with music. 2009 seemed to be the year of the working girl. Three of the seven selections feature actresses taking to the pole. Guess it's a sign of the economy. I'm getting ahead of myself.
The Sloppy Seconds:
| Waxing Philosophical |
| Seeing a stripper cry on stage seemed comical in 2007's Grindhouse, but Biel's tearful, wax-coated spin around the pole rolled sexy, sad and sympathetic into an unforgettable performance. |
Stu's Song |
| After all the insane shenanigans these fellas get into, who would have thought a moment of mellow introspection was possible, and completely hilarious? |
| Let's Get Ready to Rumble!!! |
| One thing you're sure not to forget from Chris Rock's doc is the Bronner Bros. International Hair Show Hair Battle Royale. A stylist showdown may sound funny, but it's as serious as Derek J's custom, knee-high stiletto boots. |
| Beaches AND Hookers?! I'll Be Italian! |
Fergie uses her powerful lungs and lovely lady lumps to resonate as one of the top performances in the musical Nine. The song also has the rare distinction of not including the name 'Guido' in the lyrics five million times! |
| Lemon's My Main Squeeze |
| Amy Smart doesn't get the love she deserves. Watching her rock a pair of pink hot pants that are more skin-tight than her electrical tape will make you want to give her all the love she'll ever need. |
| "Shoot him again...His soul is still dancing." |
Cross Nicolas Cage's crazy acting with Werner Herzog's weirdness and what do you get? A scene that has to be seen to be believed. Cocaine is a helluva drug. |
And the Most Memorable Music or Dance Performance of 2009 goes to:
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh You Make My Dreams Come True
(500) Days of Summer
All those lovely ladies of leisure gyrating to make that money, but they can't beat the uplifting euphoria of a boy in love. Choreographed dancing, animation and a marching band all lend themselves to an adorably giddy Joseph Gordon-Levitt. The contenders never stood a chance.
This song, You Make my Dreams by Hall & Oates also gets the distinction of being the Monday Mood Music selection. What better way to kick off a week of awards than with such a memorable music performance?
Have no fear, there are more awards yet to come. Join me tomorrow when I continue the 07 of '09: Confessions of a Reel Whore.
That is a lot of tricks turned in 2009.
ReplyDeleteThe best performance in Powder Blue is from the Drag Queen.
That is indeed a lot of tricks, though I'm not sure how many I have counting anything seen and not just theatrical trips. Theater only put me in the 60-70 range, I believe.
ReplyDeleteHard to argue with your top choice, though I maintain that it brazenly stole many elements from that comedy classic, Fletch Lives. ;)
Love that you included "Stu's Song," though that means you excluded Zach G's "We're the bestest friends that friends can be..." song (or however it went). Cracked me up...
@film-book: The drag queen was good. Forest Whitaker's performance was my favorite.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how quickly some of those films fade from my mind.
@Fletch: I checked my tally and I saw around 90 in theaters - our second-run theater helps that total alot.
Plagiarism or not, JGL makes that scene. Hell, he makes the movie.
Zach G's song was on the short list. Stu's song, Zach G's song, Amy Smart's strip tease and The Wild Rumpus were all contenders for the bottom two slots. Stu's song was such a nice interlude from the craziness. Amy Smart, well, damn, Amy Smart.
Zach G's time to shine is coming.
It fades because it wasn't that good accept for a few moments.
ReplyDeleteWhen her kid dies and the doctor keeps trying to save him was a good moment though.
@film-book: That was a good moment - I'm glad her pops didn't donate an organ or something cliche to save the boy.
ReplyDeleteI didn't see the whole point of the blue snow/miracle bit after that.
I guess the director or the cinematographer was trying to indicate sadness.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I figured; just seemed kind of heavy handed and unnecessary.
ReplyDelete