Tuesday, January 26, 2010

07 of '09: Confessions Part II

Yesterday kicked off my week-long awards event for films released in 2009. If you somehow missed the festivities, why not start from the beginning?

Today I select the Sexiest Actor of 2009 from seven drool-worthy fellas. It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it. Before we get to that award, I'd like to take a moment to recognize a handful of films that I somehow have not yet seen despite wanting to see them so very badly. In 2010, be it by second-run theater, Netflix or Redbox, they will not escape me. My Top 7 Must See Films are:

The Sloppy Seconds:

Big Fan- I'm not much of a football fan, but I'm curious to see what kind of leading-man chops comedian Patton Oswalt has. Being an idea penned by The Wrestler scribe doesn't hurt either.

Bright Star
- I had the chance to attend a Q&A screening with supporting actor Paul Schneider. I don't know if he
would've answered questions about Parks & Rec and All the Real Girls afterward, but I'm still kicking myself for missing out.

Crazy Heart - This film still hasn't opened in my local theater. You can be sure the moment it does, I will be first in line to see The Dude and the Secretary join forces.

Gentlemen Broncos
I've got three reasons drawing me to this craziness: Being a Flight of the Conchords fiend, I want to see Jemaine fly solo; I'm hoping this will make up for the Hess' Nacho Libre; and I love me some Jennifer Coolidge!

Red Cliff- I've been dying to see John Woo's historical epic since reading about it at Film-Book over a year ago. I suppose I could watch any of a dozen other projects Vicki Zhao or Tony Leung have starred in, but it's just not the same.

A Single Man- I was entranced by this trailer upon first viewing, though it doesn't tell you one damned iota of the story. Still, if it EVER opens in my area, I will finally be able to see how phenomenal Colin Firth's performance truly is.

And the Winner is:

The Boondock Saints 2: All Saint's Day- This is a film I have no excuse for missing. To my surprise, it opened at a local theater, and managed to stay for several weeks. Granted, those weeks all centered around the Thanksgiving holiday, making it difficult to be in town to enjoy it. Next time I need to get my priorities straight. I'll tell my family that the movie must come first...especially when that movie has Julie Benz and Clifton Collins, Jr.!

I should be able to knock that list in half within the next week; Crazy Heart and A Single Man are slated to open at the theater down the street and Bright Star released on DVD today.

With that bit of business finished, let's move on to an award that will really get the juices flowing. May I present:

Award #2: Sexiest Actor of 2009
Sure, the Golden Globes, SAG Awards and the Acad
emy recognize men and women for exceptional character portrayals, but audiences sometimes venture to theaters solely for the eye candy. In the case of leading and supporting men, it's those sparkling eyes, firm pecs and all-around sexiness that appeal to us.

Many of you may be disappointed to know that I did not see Twilight: New Moon in 2009. Therefore, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner were not eligible, so put it back in your pants, ladies and gentlemen. Despite the absence of those strapping lads, I am certain the nominees for sexiest men of 2009 will still make you swoon. Some nominees played dickish characters while others were too-good-to-be-true golden boys. In all cases one thing remains constant; they exuded hotness from every pore without trying.

The Sloppy Seconds

Matthew McConaughey

In Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, he was thrice visited by ghosts for one hundred painful minutes. Luckily, McC's sparkling smile and inexplicable Texan accent (his character was raised in New England) is so irresistible you'll forgive the womanizing ways of Connor Mead.

Lenny Kravitz

Only a minor role in Precious, but perfect in every way. As Nurse John he brought Precious healthy foods and showered her with supportive affection. Who wouldn't get a confidence boost after being fawned over by this honey-dipped Adonis?

Henry Cavill

Another minor character, this time from Whatever Works.
As the persistent Randy, he pursues Melody despite her married status. Don't dismiss him as a poonhound; he earnestly loves Melody and tries to be as gentlemanly as possible, despite the urges in his finely sculpted loins.

Zac Efron

As the strapping young Mike, a friend to nerds and respectful of the ladies in 17 Again, you'd think Zac would be a shoe-in, but he almost didn't make the cut. The sticking point was knowing he grows up to be the bedraggled Matthew Perry. That is so not sexy. I reminded myself it was only a movie, and all those high school girls and Leslie Mann were swooning for the Zac six pack.

Bradley Cooper

Cooper pulled double duty as the decent yet slightly dickish fella in The Hangover and He's Just Not That Into You. In the latter, his twinkling eyes and wide, teeth-baring grin got him the affections of both Jennifer Connelly and Scarlett Johansson. You can forgive the 'tude because the man can wear the hell out of a suit.

Jake Gyllenhaal

Playing the scruffy ex-con Tommy from the Brothers, you'd figure Jake unappealing. If Tommy's transformation into a responsible and caring adult doesn't soften your heart, his thuggish, ruggish bone will definitely excite your wild side.

And the award for Sexiest Actor of 2009 goes to:

Michael Jai White
Black Dynamite

You may think the $100 suit, Afro and massive porn-stache would be a turn off, but as Black Dynamite, Michael Jai White is badder than Shaft, Superfly and the Mack put together! Michael's super cool, he knows Kung Fu and those suits can barely contain his rippling muscles. If that doesn't do it for you, I'm sure he'll convince you with a wink and a smile.

The 2009 contenders are looking good, for serious! I think that's all the hotness anyone can take in one post, so let's continue this tomorrow. See you Wednesday for Part III of 07 of '09: Confessions of a Reel Whore.

Large Association of Movie Blogs


  1. Those are some sexy, sexy men. I need to go look at some pictures of ladies to feel better about myself now.

    A Single Man and Bright Star are totally worth the effort to see. But I haven't seen the rest of your can't-believe-I-haven't-seen-them list.

  2. Thanks for adding McConaughey. As cliche a choice as he is, I suffer threw RomCom and Chick Flick after sappy by the numbers movies again and again just because he's so handsome and charming. He could have been a Harrison Ford type and blew it.

  3. @blake: Thanks for the LAMB Chops love!

    I'm holding the Sexiest Ladies award until later this week. You'll have to wait a bit longer for my pics.

    Bright Star just arrived today. A Single Man officially opens Friday. My weekend is pretty much set!

    @Heather: I'm glad you appreciat4e McC. I got some flack from a friend of mine for adding him. She said my man-loving inclinations were starting to be questionable.